lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
She sounds very wise and very aware. Probably a phase but I don't see her being a baby mama or getting trapped in a bad relationship. I like her.
So My Niece Says She Hates Men...
- Thread starter perfumenista
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She sounds very wise and very aware. Probably a phase but I don't see her being a baby mama or getting trapped in a bad relationship. I like her.
bubbles12345
Well-Known Member
I felt the same.*
The dating scene is/was hard and I think men know they have the advantange.*
And this rap culture isn't helping.
Luckily, I was able to find true love and I'm happily married now to my DH. But I understand where she is coming from.
*No, I wasn't sexually harrased. I grew up in a two parent household. I'm educated, fit, and attractive for all the shady posters out there.
The dating scene is/was hard and I think men know they have the advantange.*
And this rap culture isn't helping.
Luckily, I was able to find true love and I'm happily married now to my DH. But I understand where she is coming from.
*No, I wasn't sexually harrased. I grew up in a two parent household. I'm educated, fit, and attractive for all the shady posters out there.
mzpurp
Well-Known Member
It should turn more women off! If women didn't allow this behavior, men would change!
I'm thinking along the lines of how the girls had a stand-off in the movie Chi-Raq.....
perfumenista
Well-Known Member
For the ladies that feel the same, are there any occasions where you actually enjoy the company of men?
Same here. I had the same sentiment as the OP's niece in high school. Read way too many history books and feminist essays. I'm indifferent to the male population but it never stopped me having crushes and being attracted to men. @perfumenista Is your niece's actions of any concern or just what she says?
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
Heard this numerous times from the 90's born young women. I can definitely sympathize ....I mean look at todays mitchamades. If I grew up with this batch of males... I mean.
Im sure she is frustrated and things will work themselves out.
Im sure she is frustrated and things will work themselves out.
As a women you can hate the injustices perpetrated by men against women and still have one on one relationships with men and find love with them.
perfumenista
Well-Known Member
With your sentiments, is it possible to have healthy relationship with men at any level be it platonic, romantic, professional etc.?
PopLife
Well-Known Member
In the bedroom
I'm married but I totally get it, women that enjoy constantly being in the company of men baffle me....
aquajoyice
Well-Known Member
She's starting to open her eyes to the reality we live in as black women. I know where she's coming from and it makes sense that she has these feelings. She has to get to a place where she realizes that not all men are like that. It's a tough distinction to make because it feels like we're bombarded with negative imagery and stories related to kangs, but we can't let it over shadow the good ones.
Most definitely. I love the men in my family especially my father and all my uncles and my male cousins. I grew up very cared for and loved so that's why I had the sentiments in high school and today still. Seeing how I was raised and seeing how the world operates really made me question life. I have a few guy friends that I care about but they don't come before my female friendships. To me that level of friendships is very different. When I was working my male coworkers befriended me and looked out for me. I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine. There was no ill blood between us even though they knew where I stood on relationships. I don't publicly lambaste men, say *** them, or I hate all men. But I do understand why some women do, it's just not good for my public image to do so. What I don't do action wise is personally cape for men. That's what I mean when I say I'm indifferent to the male population.
So yes your niece can have these sentiments about men and still go on to have healthy relationships with men. I think right now it's key to remember your niece's frustration with men is okay. She has a right to feel anger, frustration, and confusion about men and their actions towards women. But that anger should not continuously consume her. What she needs to learn from this is how to navigate the gender dynamic and turn all her anger into positive results in having men benefit her life, not take from it. She hopefully will learn the right man can and should add to her life and be of use to her.
sunnydaze
Well-Known Member
I felt the same.*
The dating scene is/was hard and I think men know they have the advantange.*
And this rap culture isn't helping.
Luckily, I was able to find true love and I'm happily married now to my DH. But I understand where she is coming from.
*No, I wasn't sexually harrased. I grew up in a two parent household. I'm educated, fit, and attractive for all the shady posters out there.
I actually believe women who grew up in a healthy two parent household with a strong male role model in the home are more likely to be disenchanted with today's dating, so I understand...and don't let your daddy have been someone who knew his role as provider and protector of the family. You have all these expectations of finding those qualities in a man and then struggle to find them.
perfumenista
Well-Known Member
Since these sentiments are common now aday due to the culture, how else can we help our young ladies navigate these feelings besides the whole "not all men" thing?
How can we ensure our girls thrive despite their negative feelings for the opposite gender?
Charmingchick1
Well-Known Member
What was the context in which this was said? Are you sure she wasn't just venting? I've expressed a similar sentiment a few times. I don't have daddy issues and I'm married. I've even expressed my huge disdain for people in general, but it's usually after watching/reading something horrific.
As long as your niece isn't acting out and seems to form good relationships in general then I think she'll be ok. I'm thinking she doesn't really "hate" men the same way I'm not starving to death when I've missed a meal or two.
As long as your niece isn't acting out and seems to form good relationships in general then I think she'll be ok. I'm thinking she doesn't really "hate" men the same way I'm not starving to death when I've missed a meal or two.
Covagirlm
CGB
other than that go away and stfu! perfumenista
Well-Known Member
Thank you for articulating it this way. I was unable to find the words. I am afraid it is consuming her
This is what i am struggling with. I know sometimes ladies may have their moments with men and feel frustrated, but i think it is more than mere frustration at this point.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
Pretty much. if any of yall pay attention to my mediocre replies here, i dont stan for men whatsoever. They can kick rocks.
And yes i have an SO and i ride the pole
...but in general i do not like 90% of men. They stink, they suck, and theyre useless.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
Yes at sporting events, going to the bar, and when its time to have sex. Otherwise for the majority of things i go to id prefer my mom, women friends, and the like to do things with.
Oh and fishing....forgot to add that one.
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MeMyselfnMzT
Well-Known Member
Did you read why she hates men? Doesn't sound like feminism to me. Sounds like a young woman who clearly sees what many women endure at the hands of men.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
I've been saying this about 50 Cent for years.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
Im not frustrated i just have realistic expectations. Just the other day my coworker was mad that her SO didnt want to see Wicked when the play was here in Buffalo Last month....so she never went. Im like so just because your SO didnt want to go you mad? Girl bye. Thats not a place a dude wants to be and my SO is the last person that comes to mind that id want to see a play with. Same with Paint and Sip night, wine tours, etc. where are your GF's?Thank you for articulating it this way. I was unable to find the words. I am afraid it is consuming her
This is what i am struggling with. I know sometimes ladies may have their moments with men and feel frustrated, but i think it is more than mere frustration at this point.
Stop dragging these useless boring lames to these girly events.Eta: only have him pay for it. He need not attend.
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RocStar
Well-Known Member
If that is the kind of men she knows, then she needs to hang around some other men. Perhaps of a higher caliber.
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
Oh. Well I agree. I'm not too enamored of young men outside of my family.
She sounds smart. When she does settle down, I predict that she will choose well.
Sidenote, but I'm noticing a lot of young bw have their heads on straight, or at least straightER when it comes to men and their foolishness.
I wasn't gonna say all that
but this thread is surprising. It doesn't really fall in line with most of the other ideals that are preached here but whatevs.
kblc06
Well-Known Member
Is when I'm sitting on their face an option...cuz
.I'm totally j/k
. The door was wide open for that one and I couldn't resist Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
Men hate women, and that's well known and well documented. But of course when women feel that way, it's terrible and awful and we're doomed.
Call me when we systematically oppress them, rape them, murder them, and create laws that disadvantage them. Until then, meh.
Call me when we systematically oppress them, rape them, murder them, and create laws that disadvantage them. Until then, meh.
RocStar
Well-Known Member
I wasn't gonna say all that
I mean there are a lot of bad men out there, however there still are some good men out there. I am not saying they are easy to find, but it is not all bad (or all good).
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
No one ever said theyre werent good men...but if her niece can sense this nonsense NOW she goodt. She'll pick wisely, spare her uterus, her wallet, trips to the clinic, heartache, and a few diseases until she finds the right one. This day in age you will pay severely for being naive, gullible, and ignorant to these degenerate ass men out here. Its not worth it.
Bunnyhaslonghair
Ebonics Queen
In personal experience it's a lions den in the dating world, even young. As a college woman with no experience, was deceived by men a lot. Fake relationships, cheating, fake persona, all that. Plus adding hip hop culture to the mix only makes it worse. I've heard many young men laugh at the idea of getting married. They would rather have a baby mama than a wife. You go through a couple of these guys and I'm not surprised when women get turned off completely.
What really helped me was being by myself focusing on me, which it sounds like your niece is already doing. I took a long break from dating. During that time I healed and learned how to navigate and only allow quality men in my circle.
Thats my experience of course but even as young as she is you may be surprised by the bs she's already experienced so far.
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