So My Husband’s Ex Wife Still Has Pictures Of Their Wedding Day On Social Media
- Thread starter Kindheart
- Start date
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Don’t look at her social media accounts ever again and be mindful of what you post on yours.
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Those photos were of a significant life event and are part of her life story. She's entitled to her memories. As long as she's not a nuisance in your relationship with your husband then don't worry about it.
Kindheart
Well-Known Member
I don’t have Facebook, I just don’t see the need to keep this pictures on a social media platform ,perhaps she could keep them saved on her computer although I doubt if she had remarried her partner would be happy with that.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
How did you find out? Did someone tell you?
Kindheart
Well-Known Member
Yes a friend of my husband . I understand she wants to keep memories but why on social media where everyone can access to it . I wouldn’t keep my exes on social media but then again I’m very private hence me not having FB . She didn’t want to get divorced. I wonder if she
Would have these pictures if she was with
Someone else since they re just memories. If I had something like that even on my phone my husband would kill me .
Lol
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
I feel you. When I first started dating my guy, he had been divorced for 5 years. His mama FB requested me and I saw that she had a pic up of the ex talkin bout "my daughter in law". I never accepted her request, never accepted her invitations and have never said more than a dry hello to her. That was 3 years ago. I'm petty like that.
The other posters are right tho
. The ex is entitled to her feelings. Don't listen to me because I'll have you excommunicating his entire family. They try to hard to be my friend too but it'll never happen 
The other posters are right tho
. The ex is entitled to her feelings. Don't listen to me because I'll have you excommunicating his entire family. They try to hard to be my friend too but it'll never happen
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
That "friend" is being messy. It's none of their business and why would they bring you information that would cause nothing except bad feelings for you? They'd have to get dismissed.
tocktick
Well-Known Member
I don't really see the problem with her having the photos on social media. As someone mentioned, this was — at some point — a major life event for her.
Presuming she's not newly posting these photos and they happen to just be on her SM, I don't see an issue. Did your friend go digging in her history/timeline to dredge this up? Not everyone cares to automatically delete photos of an ex from social and if she's one of those, so be it. Additionally, if the photos have been up for a while, she may be simply indifferent to the fact they're there.
With that said, even if she was posting these pictures in 2019 like the wedding happened yesterday...well, you can feel a way about it but that's her prerogative. It's also clearly her burden to eventually work on letting this go. Cosign with the above that your "friend" was being messy.
Presuming she's not newly posting these photos and they happen to just be on her SM, I don't see an issue. Did your friend go digging in her history/timeline to dredge this up? Not everyone cares to automatically delete photos of an ex from social and if she's one of those, so be it. Additionally, if the photos have been up for a while, she may be simply indifferent to the fact they're there.
With that said, even if she was posting these pictures in 2019 like the wedding happened yesterday...well, you can feel a way about it but that's her prerogative. It's also clearly her burden to eventually work on letting this go. Cosign with the above that your "friend" was being messy.
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Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I agree to both of you posts
@Kindheart
That friend is messy. That whole thing even with the pictures is a mess. Don’t talk about that situation with dh’s friend anymore. Whatever is being done in the dark , will come to light. Just stay woke.
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
I feel the same way. Some of us are quick to delete very old photos when a relationship ends, and some of us aren't.
If the photos posted aren't recent, I wouldn't be worrying about it. I dated a man whose ex kept her photos of them on facebook, but when I saw how old the posts were, I didn't really care.
sunnieb
Well-Known Member
Friend is being messy.
Why even bring this up to you? What's their motive?
I honestly wouldn't have a problem with this - and I'm very territorial. Shoo, I have old pics on Facebook because I don't go on there anymore and don't care enough to go delete them.
Watch yourself around that friend.
Why even bring this up to you? What's their motive?
I honestly wouldn't have a problem with this - and I'm very territorial. Shoo, I have old pics on Facebook because I don't go on there anymore and don't care enough to go delete them.
Watch yourself around that friend.
Lylddlebit
Well-Known Member
I get it. I wouldn't like it either. However I would address it with my husband. It's really easy to let trivial things irritate you. It's really easy to question her but that's not healthy because what allows the photo, the ex, or any other trigger to bother you, is their connection to your husband. So ask him about who he was and where he was when he made the decision to marry. More importantly, find out who he was and where he was that caused the divorce so you can just understand the reality of whatever the situation is(be ready for the truth though). He is accountable to you and how his past impacts your life. Don't make it about her or proof of the past. Instead, hold him accountable for the life he has lived and it's impact on your life.
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OhTall1
Well-Known Member
This thread made me go back and look at my FB account and yep, even though I'm divorced, I still have up an album of honeymoon pics in addition to other pics of my ex. I posted them at the time they were taken and haven't looked at them in forever. If it weren't for this thread, the pics would still be forgotten and I'd be blissfully ignorant.
It wasn't worth the effort to go through and actively delete them in the midst of separating. It's still not worth it all these years later.
LivingInPeace
Well-Known Member
I admit I don’t know social media etiquette. For example, I don’t understand why it’s a big deal to block someone you want nothing to do with. So to my naive mind, having wedding pictures of you and your ex husband sounds like still having them on your mantel at home. Only worse. But since I realize people like to post their entire existence on social media I guess it makes sense to them.
RocStar
Well-Known Member
I don't think anything. I don't concern myself with things that don't come from me or mines. You can't do anything about it anyway. You are giving this way more space in your mind than you should.
You won't ever be able to understand the motives of why people do what they do...so stop trying to understand the "need."
Does this have any impact on your relationship? If it does, then the ex-wife is not the problem.
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
Its weird to me, but I wouldn't let it keep me awake at night. Besides she can have memories or longings if there are any, what's most important is if your husband would act on them and from the sound of things he wouldn't, so I wouldn't worry.
That friend was messy for telling you.
That friend was messy for telling you.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
It is keeping pictures up on the mantle. I had to remove myself from social media because of the weird, asinine logic people use when posting information and materials. But OP should not be concerned with something that doesn’t have anything to do with her. She isn’t even on there and somebody is running back keeping up mess. Now unless her husband’s friend got recent pics of the ex and husband out together, then she needs to pay it no mind. Insecurity will eat a person alive when it comes to relationships.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Op why do you think that was brought to your attention? What is going on inside that is now being projected outside?
michelle81
Well-Known Member
@Kindheart
I can't always think of the right comment in the moment, but I'm wishing you had asked "Why are you telling me this?". I would love to know their reason that they thought this was something you should know.
Is the friend a guy or woman? That would make a huge difference in how I felt about the situation. They would mean different things to me.
Either way, I don't know if I would be calling them a friend if I were your DH. That is not a friendly thing to do at all. Did this friend even bother mentioning it to your DH?
And did your DH have kids with her? That's makes a difference as well.
I can't always think of the right comment in the moment, but I'm wishing you had asked "Why are you telling me this?". I would love to know their reason that they thought this was something you should know.
Is the friend a guy or woman? That would make a huge difference in how I felt about the situation. They would mean different things to me.
Either way, I don't know if I would be calling them a friend if I were your DH. That is not a friendly thing to do at all. Did this friend even bother mentioning it to your DH?
And did your DH have kids with her? That's makes a difference as well.
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michelle81
Well-Known Member
I don't have any social media so not sure if I should be commenting on this or not. I occasionally browse on FB and don't see any problem with old pics of exes. New pics would definitely be an issue though.
I guess I can see your thing with it being pics on a mantle. I see it as a humongous mantle though. One that can hold literally thousands of pics. You put ones on the mantle of things that happened that month or year. The old ones don't go away. The new ones are simply placed in front of the old ones and so on.
Kind of like mini hoarding. Some people throw things away they haven't worn in the past year like we should, but most people just hold onto it for whatever reason.
Silkycoils
Well-Known Member
I would not care. Yes, I would question why the "friend" brought me this information, and I'd ask them why they felt the need to share. My motto is, "Don't bring me no mess." This has nothing to do with your current marriage. She can reminisce all she likes. You being bothered by it is taking away from your present enjoyment of your marriage. Social media is truly toxic, or rather it has held a mirror up to all of the toxic folks out there.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
Unless it's a profile pic, it's not on the mantle, it's in a photo album. The reality also that though it's on a virtual photo album now, they're probably in a number of actual persons physical albums (depending on the era ). It wouldn't bother me unless she's an actual problem in the relationship.
). It wouldn't bother me unless she's an actual problem in the relationship.
fluffyforever
Well-Known Member
My bf has an issue with pictures on my Facebook account that included my ex husband. I don’t understand the issue, we were in each other’s lives for over 16 years. So I got to delete cute pictures of myself and of my travels for the past 16 years because he is jealous that I lived my life before I met him? I don’t get it.
It was too hard to untag over 1000s of pics. I’m also tagged in so many pics from others that have the ex in them. I just hid all of my photos. I don’t post any pictures of my current bf either because I’m not going thru that stupid conversation again. Waste of time and energy.
It was too hard to untag over 1000s of pics. I’m also tagged in so many pics from others that have the ex in them. I just hid all of my photos. I don’t post any pictures of my current bf either because I’m not going thru that stupid conversation again. Waste of time and energy.
kupenda
Well-Known Member
OP I’m sorry but this sounds kinda mean. She can’t have photos of fond times in her life? Even if she secretly hopes to get back together with him, you shouldn’t be upset that she has pictures of a life she used to live. It’s her life, not yours. And husband has no right to say anything about it. I’m more concerned that you’re concerned about her. Have things occurred to make you question your marriage?
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