So mad and hurt right now...

[MissJ]

Why dont you want to date men raised by single mothers?

Because a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man. I also didn't like the feeling of uneasiness that comes with my life being put in danger by a man-boy.

 

[FtrDrO]

I'm sorry about your situation OP. That is very devastating Like everyone here has said, make sure you get tested, forget the money, and make a clean break to start your life over. He's a jerk, plain and simple. Leave him to his filth. He'll get his.

As for the Nigerian men sterotypes, while being Nigerian myself, I can see where these sterotypes emerge from, I will say that all of them really aren't like that. As someone mentioned, it is the most populated country in Africa= normal a*hole men stats x large population of men= greater likelihood of you meeting an a*hole man. A cheating man, is a cheating man, no matter where he is from. So, please don't let this be the reason that you eliminate all Nigerian, African, or Foreign men in general from your list.
BUT as a warning to all of you, please please please take heed to warning signs. From what i've noticed, the women who do become affected by such situations don't see them. So here's my list based on what I've noticed & seen first hand

If your foreign man, no matter where he is from:
a) has cheating friends (this is for all men in general)
b) frequently travels to his country of origin & never invites you along,
c) faithfully speaks his language on the phone & never lets you speak to any supposed family members that he's speaking with (One of my uncles is married to a non Nigerian, and out of respect for her, makes efforts to speak English on the phone when he can so she doesn't feel out of the loop or at least let's her know who he is talking to)
d) has a very "you are the woman, and I am the man" domineering attitude,
e) has a mother who doesn't want to speak with you and is in the other country,
f)always seems to make requests of you to do things for him or lend him money (again, all men)
g) does not have citizenship

Please please plllllleease let it go. 9 times out of 10, he will play you and leave you hurt. It always saddens me when I hear about these situations, but alot of the times, the warning signs are there. Many men, no matter where they are from, are players & cheaters. The signs that you might have to look for just might have to be different depending on their culture.

 

[Bachelorette]

I think it's weird that people would marry a "abusive chuvanist" etc..like they didnt see any of these negatives before the signing..hmm.

Why dont you want to date men raised by single mothers?

I wouldnt either.

 

[MissJ]

I'm sorry about your situation OP. That is very devastating Like everyone here has said, make sure you get tested, forget the money, and make a clean break to start your life over. He's a jerk, plain and simple. Leave him to his filth. He'll get his.

As for the Nigerian men sterotypes, while being Nigerian myself, I can see where these sterotypes emerge from, I will say that all of them really aren't like that. As someone mentioned, it is the most populated country in Africa= normal a*hole men stats x large population of men= greater likelihood of you meeting an a*hole man. A cheating man, is a cheating man, no matter where he is from. So, please don't let this be the reason that you eliminate all Nigerian, African, or Foreign men in general from your list.
BUT as a warning to all of you, please please please take heed to warning signs. From what i've noticed, the women who do become affected by such situations don't see them. So here's my list based on what I've noticed & seen first hand

If your foreign man, no matter where he is from:
a) has cheating friends (this is for all men in general)
b) frequently travels to his country of origin & never invites you along,
c) faithfully speaks his language on the phone & never lets you speak to any supposed family members that he's speaking with (One of my uncles is married to a non Nigerian, and out of respect for her, makes efforts to speak English on the phone when he can so she doesn't feel out of the loop or at least let's her know who he is talking to)
d) has a very "you are the woman, and I am the man" domineering attitude,
e) has a mother who doesn't want to speak with you and is in the other country,
f)always seems to make requests of you to do things for him or lend him money (again, all men)
g) does not have citizenship

Please please plllllleease let it go. 9 times out of 10, he will play you and leave you hurt. It always saddens me when I hear about these situations, but alot of the times, the warning signs are there. Many men, no matter where they are from, are players & cheaters. The signs that you might have to look for just might have to be different depending on their culture.

I know I was the one or one of the ones who said I didn't plan on dating any other Africans, well, at least the ones who weren't raised here. With my Nigerian ex, none of those signs were present. He wasn't like that for most of the relationship. That's why I was shocked when he turned into what people had warned me about. I was in a relationship with an American after that, and it made me appreciate what I had with the Nigerian guy. It was good minus the domestic violence and the cheating. I thought it would be perfect if I could find an African guy without anger management issues.

Also, with the 2nd guy I mentioned, who was basically telling me all that stuff about Africa, I wasn't dating him, but he wanted to be with me. I was open to it, but early on, I kept seeing red flags popping up. They eventually became glaring, all within a month or two. Again, nothing on your list, but he was doing dumb stuff. He also was very jealous. I caught him going through my phone once. He would think I was seeing my ex. His friend asked me to cook a cake for him. I did, and he got mad. Once we were watching a movie, and I left the room to take a phonecall. He eavesdropped on the entire conversation. After we stopped talking, the next time I saw him was in the courtroom. I was there sentencing people, and he was there for having done some dumb stuff.

 

[Mai Tai]

Well, when I say I'll never date an African, it's not a big deal. I don't want to date men who were raised by single mothers, either. I only want to date people I would see myself marrying. I want to get married like soon! I also wouldn't date a cheater or an athlete, who is likely to be a cheater. I don't see it as discriminating. It's more of wanting to be with someone with a similar upbringing and similar views. I know that marriage is a contract. If my idea of marriage is different than your idea of marriage, then there really is no marriage. There's no mutual assent. We didn't agree to the same thing. If your idea of marriage is a woman doing everything for the man, because your mom did everything for you, no dice. If your idea of a marriage is that you can take on as many wives as you can afford, no dice. If your idea of marriage is that you can have as many jumpoffs as possible, because you make a lot of money, no way jose.

I don't have anything against Africans, and I don't judge everyone based on my own experiences. I also will not minimize my experiences either. It's not easy to come home thinking everything's great and having to fight a man almost twice your size for hours, because he won't stop hitting you and won't let you leave. I don't see why African ladies get upset like it's a personal attack, when true stories are told about the men from your continent. Heck, when people speak about black men, I know they're not talking about me, so I really don't care. And I acknowledge any shortcomings I see. I don't accuse people of trying to paint all black men or black people in general with one brush. We're not talking about you, your daddy, your brother, or your lil cousins. Stories are told here about African-American men all day long, but you don't see us African-American ladies getting mad over it.

There is nothing wrong with having a personal preference, we all have that, however sometimes preference is based more on stereotypes as opposed to one seriously thinking about what they can and cannot deal with.

I am not sure I take people not wanting to date African men as a personal attack, I just feel a certain kind of way when people lump any group of people into one category, regardless of nationality.

I find it funny that "African men" have become classified as this monolithic group, as if Africa is not a continent with dozens of seperate countries, thousands of languages, and millions of cultures.

People hear 1-2 bad but true stories and they draw conclusions on a ENTIRE CONTINENT of men? How crass...Every story I hear about any group of people, whether it is about a particular sex, race, culture, nationality I take it on an individual basis because I know for a fact that good and evil comes in every shape and form.

 

[shenitab]

OP, I am sorry that this happened to you. Ladies regardless of the nationality of the man you are dating, you have to be very CAREFUL. American dudes have done stuff like this as well. Dudes who travel for work, work in one state, live in another state, bi-coastal, etc.

If your dude lives somewhere else, travels a lot, and ya'll are in a serious relationship, YOU need to be traveling with him. Not all the time, maybe every now and then. Tell dude you want to go with him to X, Y, and Z and see what he says.

Also, stop putting so much of yourself into these relationships and you are not engaged with a wedding date set and know when you will be heading towards the altar, or better yet, just wait until AFTER you are married.

Now I am not saying don't get into a relationship or don't fall in love. I'm saying you need to reserve a lot of yourself until a dude PROVES that he is worthy.

Sometimes you need to ask yourself, "what would my momma say?" If I told my momma I was going to give a dude a loan/money whatever, she would ask me if I was crazy. If I told her I was cooking and cleaning, ripping and running for a man I was not engaged to, she would probably shake her head and tell me that I was mixed up. Dude is the one who is supposed to be doing all that for me.

 

[MissJ]

There is nothing wrong with having a personal preference, we all have that, however sometimes preference is based more on stereotypes as opposed to one seriously thinking about what they can and cannot deal with.

I am not sure I take people not wanting to date African men as a personal attack, I just feel a certain kind of way when people lump any group of people into one category, regardless of nationality.

I find it funny that "African men" have become classified as this monolithic group, as if Africa is not a continent with dozens of seperate countries, thousands of languages, and millions of cultures.

People hear 1-2 bad but true stories and they draw conclusions on a ENTIRE CONTINENT of men? How crass...Every story I hear about any group of people, whether it is about a particular sex, race, culture, nationality I take it on an individual basis because I know for a fact that good and evil comes in every shape and form.

I don't think anyone here was lumping all Africans into one group.

I purposely said African in my post as opposed to a specific country, because the people I am thinking of are from different countries within Africa. Having been with guys who were leaders in the African student groups, I got to know quite a few African people. They also all knew each other, and people talk. I heard way more than one or two bad stories, but in the end my story was probably worse than any of theirs. I moved on from that.

Then years later I get to another university, and the same type stuff is going on. Of course it's not everybody. But dang, at least the guys at the other university weren't married. I started to think that maybe it wasn't just a few individuals acting a fool, and that there was something deeper behind the behavior. After having heard how that guy's mother was treated like property and given to her brother when her husband no longer wanted her, I felt like I really didn't know what I was truly dealing with, and at this point in my life I'd rather not find out.

 

[tada1]

my first reaction: "DAYUM!"
my second reaction: OP, I wish you ALL THE BEST! please come back and let us know how it went.

Sorry to say this, but this type of thing is quite common among Nigerians.

really? i was not aware

The one who told me about it is form Cote D'ivoire, including 3 other people, 2 from Ghana, 4 from Cape Verde, and the other 2 are from Botsawana. They say Nigerians are always one of the countries trying to start a war.

I don't know too much about Nigerian history, but I do know for a fact that in the past, Nigerians regularly sent troops to other West African countries such as Liberia to help keep the peace. just sayin

i had a devastating marriage to a jealous, insecure, possessive, lying, cheating, abusive, controlling 9ja man & i wouldnt wish that on ANYBODY ever! & yes i blame many of these^^ traits on his upbringing & 9ja culture. the men are simply not brought up 2 treat women (esp. american wome) w/ a certain kind of respect. to them women are wives, childbearers, housekeepers, etc. a 9ja man (a real one! lol) will scoff @ the idea of changin diapers & cleanin a house; to them that is a woman's job & that how they will treat u.

i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through this

hold up..wait a min...
so sorry u had to find out dat way....dayum. but on da real, go n getcha self tested chile....

u sure you're not related to Madea for real?

again, OP please count your BLESSINGS that you found out. If he says he is sorry, make sure you are clear on what he is sorry about. He might be sorry that his nigerian bride wont get us citizenship afterall. be smart about this

 

[naijamerican]

I don't think anyone here was lumping all Africans into one group.

I purposely said African in my post as opposed to a specific country, because the people I am thinking of are from different countries within Africa. Having been with guys who were leaders in the African student groups, I got to know quite a few African people. They also all knew each other, and people talk. I heard way more than one or two bad stories, but in the end my story was probably worse than any of theirs. I moved on from that.

Then years later I get to another university, and the same type stuff is going on. Of course it's not everybody. But dang, at least the guys at the other university weren't married. I started to think that maybe it wasn't just a few individuals acting a fool, and that there was something deeper behind the behavior. After having heard how that guy's mother was treated like property and given to her brother when her husband no longer wanted her, I felt like I really didn't know what I was truly dealing with, and at this point in my life I'd rather not find out.

This makes a lot of sense. I also wanted to say that, as far as I'm concerned, your posts aren't the ones that are problematic regarding homogenizing all African men. I said in an earlier post that I liked the fact that you made it clear that it wasn't all African men that you had a problem with; it was just the specific ones you dealt with that made you realize that maybe that wasn't the route you wanted to go down. I just had a problem with some of the other ones that were rife with stereotypes and bare foolishness. You never said that you felt that they were all bad, but more than one poster did make that claim, and that's what me and Mai Tai and Bach take issue with (if they don't mind me speaking for them).

Anyway, all I can do is wish the OP well and be glad that she was spared more heartache down the line.

 

[YaniraNaturally]

I can't believe some women on here refuse to date men raised by single mothers. I find that to be extremely hurtful being that my mother is a single mother by choice. She was married and divorced my father because he enjoyed his life in the Caribbean and refused to move to the states (he didn't have a woman on the side; in St. Kitts everybody knows everybody and he lives down the street from my maternal grandma).

Now I think my mom is doing a darn good job raising my little brother to be a responsible and respectful young man. I see many children in my town (a nice suburb) that have both parents at home but behave like hooligans. Although my father is not around to pass on his "wisdom" I know that my brother will grow up to make a wonderful husband for a lucky girl one day. And trust me, I'm not one of those sisters that thinks her brother walks on water. I will tell that fool when he's getting crazy, but I do think my brother is on the right track.

But different strokes for different folks I suppose!

Sorry to break off on a tangent OP. Not to pry but what ended up happening? Please tell us you've been out celebrating kicking that fool to the curb and that's why we haven't heard from you

 

[Foxglove]

I love all the generalization in this thread against Nigerians. I'm sure the same people get mad when people make generalizations about African Americans

 

[YaniraNaturally]

^ exactly. I just finished reading the whole thing. Why is it okay to make generalizations about a minority? I'm sure no one would be happy to hear a white person say something like "All black men are thugs who sag their pants, steal, and don't take care of their kids. That's why after dating Tyronne I told myself I'd never date another black guy because they're all the same!"

No one would be pleased to hear that stereotypical racist trash. Come one ladies we're better that this!

Foxglove, I just realized we have the same ticker!

 

[Foxglove]

^ exactly. I just finished reading the whole thing. Why is it okay to make generalizations about a minority? I'm sure no one would be happy to hear a white person say something like "All black men are thugs who sag their pants, steal, and don't take care of their kids. That's why after dating Tyronne I told myself I'd never date another black guy because they're all the same!"

No one would be pleased to hear that stereotypical racist trash. Come one ladies we're better that this!

Foxglove, I just realized we have the same ticker!

lol I love the hula lady

 

[firecracker]

Ok damn who give a diddly about all the so called generalizations. A Man is a Man is a Man! Just because a few folks shared their experience and spoke on it doesn't mean ya'll have to get pissed about Nigerian, black man, single momma raised etc. Its just a conversation with folks sharing thoughts. Ya'll know damn well anyone can be deceitful so get over it

Oh and thanks MrsJohnson for speaking the truth about giving a sorry arsed kneegrow money or that bs about I was there when nobody else was. A real man doesn't take monetary help from a woman!

OP you should thank your lucky stars to be getting rid of that trif cheating blackarsed married man. I hope you learn from this situation. Don't allow no man to lay all up in yo **** and he needs to be giving you some damn money not the other way around.

 

[cmw45]

To the OP: I am so sorry this happened to you. I think you received a lot of good advice in this thread, the best being get tested immediately and I hope you are able to make the best decision for yourself.

That being said, despite the anecdotal stories we have I think we should refrain from making sweeping claims about an entire continent (or country) of men. I don't think that this rhetoric is appropriate when "Blacks" or "others" make generalizing statments about Black American men or women and I don't think it's good for us to do it here. I think the poster who said that she might not date someone with ties to another country because it would make it difficult to find information about them summed it up correctly. No matter what a man's background you need to be able to find out who he is and what he is really about. When you aren't able to vet information, instances like this can happen in Nigera or in Chicago. Men are men no matter where they are from. Despite race, creed, or nationality they are all capable of be amazing or amazing arseholes.

 

[Spiffy]

OP, how are you holding up?

I actually had you and your story in my thoughts at one point over the weekend and thought I would check up on you.

Sorry some people hijacked your thread to unleash personal fury.

 

[Bachelorette]

I don't know too much about Nigerian history, but I do know for a fact that in the past, Nigerians regularly sent troops to other West African countries such as Liberia to help keep the peace. just sayin

Like I said people forget their history. I wish a negress wouldddddddddd

 

[preciouslove0x]

PREACH!

I come from a family where the men on the Nigerian, and American side CHOOSE to be good and faithful, husbands. I have a ton of uncles, and male cousins that have beautiful Nigerian wives and families and would never think of becoming a polygamist.

It is disgusting how some people group a whole country of men (especially the most populated country in Africa) based on their individual experiences or on some ish they heard through the grapevine. The world is a lot bigger then the things that you or I have seen. To group a whole culture really shows how little of the world some people have actually experienced.

PEOPLE cheat. That's a fact of life...but all this rhetoric about "I'll never date an African" is plain old silly. Hell, we have polygamist living right here in the US of A, and there are primarily white religions here that actually promote it. Never stopped any of us from dating and marrying white boys... just sayin...

AMEN AMEN!!!!!
This is what I have to say about some of these comments in this thread...

My mother is 52 and is American (born and raised in South Carolina)
My father is 57 and is Nigerian (born and raised in Anambra State in a little town called Nibo)

Both have not been married before. And have four VERY successful children (I'm one of them) And wait for it.....
They have been happily married for almost 30 years. YES 30 YEARS!!!

How many American couples do you know that have been married that long?? (sarcasm people)
but i hope you get the point

And I'm done.

 

[LondonDiva]

I want to call and have them all deported . Just to get him back. Some of them are not here legally and have fake/false passports.

Oh I'd be on the phone making that happen. Trust! But that's just me!!

 

[MissJ]

really? i was not aware



:

That's not what I meant. I think I clarified in subsequent posts. Sorry if I offended anyone.

I wonder if the OP is coming back to tell us how she is doing. I would like to hear the guy's explanation, although we can probably take it with a grain of salt.

 

[Guitarhero]

Wowwwwwwwwwwww.

That's - wow. That's heartbreaking - I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope that you can move on, not give into the urge for vindictive revenge, and heal swiftly.

DAMN! Just up and got married, eh?

Why not? People are so up in arms against Mexicans, playing Dogg the Bounty Hunter, like a hard time and slavery never touched Black America. Shoot, she should turn them in for this heartbreak. I'd think they'd deserve it.

 

[Hibiscus30]

To the OP...thank your lucky stars you found out!

I am not generalizing here....and I am very open...

But until recently, I truly understand what some of the ladies here have gone through and the stories of other women. First, my boyfriend goes back to his home and tells me he is never coming back to America. He claimed he had all his belongings packed in containers to be shipped by sea to including his vehicle. For two months he told me this we spent the last night of him being in America together and says he would some day return. The next morning he leaves early without saying goodbye. He calls me from the plane and tells me he loves me and hopefully one day he may come back.

Ok...one month later he is back. All of it was a lie he did not have his things packed, later I found out he went home to get married to someone he barely knew, I found out by accident...and found out after that he was still with his "ex-girlfriend" the whole year we were together and telling her all my business and telling her the exact same lines...well lies. He lies and says he isn't married and he never touch his ex-girlfriend and claims she is lying. I was so crushed and upset...I believed him and his lies about loving me and wanting to marry me.

He is not Nigerian, but next door to Nigeria...Cameroon, I am not saying all African men are that way. But I have heard so many of the same stories and it happened to me. Men all over the world do this, but men of this rotten caliber don't respect themselves let alone other women.

I have learned so much...and will be more careful....Oh and OP PLEASE go get tested and be strong! Not all men or Nigerians are that way! GOOD LUCK...

 

[UmSumayyah]

I can't believe some women on here refuse to date men raised by single mothers. I find that to be extremely hurtful being that my mother is a single mother by choice. She was married and divorced my father because he enjoyed his life in the Caribbean and refused to move to the states (he didn't have a woman on the side; in St. Kitts everybody knows everybody and he lives down the street from my maternal grandma).

Now I think my mom is doing a darn good job raising my little brother to be a responsible and respectful young man. I see many children in my town (a nice suburb) that have both parents at home but behave like hooligans. Although my father is not around to pass on his "wisdom" I know that my brother will grow up to make a wonderful husband for a lucky girl one day. And trust me, I'm not one of those sisters that thinks her brother walks on water. I will tell that fool when he's getting crazy, but I do think my brother is on the right track.

But different strokes for different folks I suppose!

Sorry to break off on a tangent OP. Not to pry but what ended up happening? Please tell us you've been out celebrating kicking that fool to the curb and that's why we haven't heard from you

Don't worry, plenty of women will date a man raised by a single man, so you don't need to worry that your brother will grow old alone, and die eaten by nine cats.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

CALL IMMIGRATION and let all of them get deported!

 

[OhmyKimB]

Oh sweetheart I am so sorry about what happened. I was talking to some of my friends whoare from Africa and one of them said "Yeah, there are a couple countries that give Africa a bad name, especially Nigerians, we don't get along with them at all"

Not saying that your bf is bad business ( okay Im lying...I am), most Nigerian men have a terrible reputation of treating their women like garbage. There is a reason you found out about this...think if you would not have found out...he probably would've never told you..or would've told you 10 years and 2 kids later....

P.S. and I bet the reason he was trying to get married is to gain American Citizenship lol.

This is off topic and I know that your quoting some friends.


However not all Nigerian men are like this.


And not all Nigerian's would give Africa a bad name. At all.

 

[TinyT]

Just checking in. OP I really do hope you have found more peace and made a plan of how you will move forward since all of this has happened.

 

[vestaluv1]

Totally cut him him off. The best thing to do now is keep busy and surround yourself with friends, family and people who genuinely love you.
All the best xxx.

 

[FocusLady]

UPDATE:

Thanks ladies for the hugs and advice. Turns out after watching the DVD with his mother, 7 sisters, and other family. The girl is related to him. He did it to get her here. I can't give details to what they are "trying" to do because I don't understand it. Plus with me studying and working in the legal field I don't want to know. I'm still confused. In the DVD he did look like he wasn't there and he wasn't happy at all. He didn't even touch the girl when they danced. His close family and friends weren't there. I spoke with the girl and she said that they were trying to get her to the states so she could go to school. I have heard of this and I'm sure you all have also. But I don't understand why he wouldn't tell me this. CRAZY.

Let me also clear the money issue. When we met he was having a hard time with money because he was supporting his family. Being the only male child; he's responsible for his parents and sisters. I helped him a lot but now that he's back on his feet he is helping me. We live together and he is supporting me through grad school. I don't pay any bills at all. All my money goes to me and books for school. He really isn't a bad guy at all. I was very hurt when I found the DVD. I'm still very confused by it and don't know whether to believe him and his family or not.

I have trust issues. Once you lie to me, you get the side eye forever...lol. I'm still working this out. Thanks again ladies. You are all so sweet and funny as well. I have no sisters so you ladies have given me good "sisterly" advice. (And enough crazy stories...LOL)

 

[Ivonnovi]

I'M USING MY 2,000TH POST FOR THIS!!!!!!


"Young Lady, if you were my daughter I'd STRONGLY advise you to develop a plan for INDEPENDANCE!!!!!" Though there may be many pleasant benefits to remaining with this man, there are some long-standing, and moral issues that if you commit to you will be dealing with the reprecussions of them for a very l-o-n-g time.

The US has immigration rules for good reasons, it's not your job our your place to help them circumvent these rules. YOU need a man THAT PUTS U 1ST, not second after the cousin he's married to and his extended family!!!!
PLUS, you'd be an accomplice to a crime if you continue to support this "mess".

 

[gabulldawg]

UPDATE:

Thanks ladies for the hugs and advice. Turns out after watching the DVD with his mother, 7 sisters, and other family. The girl is related to him. He did it to get her here. I can't give details to what they are "trying" to do because I don't understand it. Plus with me studying and working in the legal field I don't want to know. I'm still confused. In the DVD he did look like he wasn't there and he wasn't happy at all. He didn't even touch the girl when they danced. His close family and friends weren't there. I spoke with the girl and she said that they were trying to get her to the states so she could go to school. I have heard of this and I'm sure you all have also. But I don't understand why he wouldn't tell me this. CRAZY.

Let me also clear the money issue. When we met he was having a hard time with money because he was supporting his family. Being the only male child; he's responsible for his parents and sisters. I helped him a lot but now that he's back on his feet he is helping me. We live together and he is supporting me through grad school. I don't pay any bills at all. All my money goes to me and books for school. He really isn't a bad guy at all. I was very hurt when I found the DVD. I'm still very confused by it and don't know whether to believe him and his family or not.

I have trust issues. Once you lie to me, you get the side eye forever...lol. I'm still working this out. Thanks again ladies. You are all so sweet and funny as well. I have no sisters so you ladies have given me good "sisterly" advice. (And enough crazy stories...LOL)

Sooooooo are you saying that he married a family member in order for her to come to the US? I'm lost. I know many people from all over Africa who have come to the US without having to marry anyone. erplexed And even still, he married a family member??

IDK if you should believe this story. I know you are probably enjoying your arrangement - not having to pay bills/rent and whatnot. But you need to ask yourself if it's worth it. IMO he is lying to you. If that was the case why wasn't it stated sooner?

This makes no sense to me...