*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Evolving78 said:
That’s possible too. I’m finding it hard to have that type of mindset lately. It’s one thing to struggle and come to terms with something, it’s another to be totally delusional. I guess I wouldn’t encourage or entertain that behavior or way of thinking. I would be deemed “the hater”. Lol
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You are absolutely right. If not called a hater then called overly concerned. I’ve witnessed enough to say that if the offense has happened subsequent times, then the help is more than likely falling on deaf ears. You can’t just put people in conservatorships or become their power of attorney for random acts of stupidity. However, the cooking lady could be the sum of her friend circle. She might just need new friends.
 
ckisland said:
I'm on a Christian one called Upward and then another called Badoo. Badoo is nice because you can see all of your likes without having to match with them for free.

Badoo is where I'm having the most action!
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Hmm I’m about to create some new images for dating apps and never heard of these. Do you feel you they are worth trying or similar to the big names? TIA
 
Plushottie said:
Hmm I’m about to create some new images for dating apps and never heard of these. Do you feel you they are worth trying or similar to the big names? TIA
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I feel like the bigger apps are good if you're willing to pay (I'm not at the moment). Like Hinge has a lot of restrictions that make it not as useful to me. But I haven't been on Tinder in forever. I used to like Okcupid because the profiles were so extensive.

I'm just trying out these outliers just out of curiosity. I'll probably jump on one of the bigger ones again just to compare.
 
DVAntDany said:
You are absolutely right. If not called a hater then called overly concerned. I’ve witnessed enough to say that if the offense has happened subsequent times, then the help is more than likely falling on deaf ears. You can’t just put people in conservatorships or become their power of attorney for random acts of stupidity. However, the cooking lady could be the sum of her friend circle. She might just need new friends.
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"You can’t just put people in conservatorships or become their power of attorney for random acts of stupidity."

The above statement really hits right now. A friend just went through a major ordeal that was so preventable. This is the second time in two years that she has had a major issue because of a man and ran to me to help her clean it up or support her. These are men I warned her about. I pointed out the red flags and she ignored them. The issue is the fallout affects me too. She is very dramatic and emotional, and she pours everything on me. I was so stressed out in the past few weeks because of her issues. I told myself I will not get involved but she called me all the time crying and acting like she might die. The worst part is, despite what happened and the guy not being there for her, she still thought she could remain friends with the guy. She said he wasn't a bad guy after the guy literally abandoned her in the middle of a crisis that he helped created. She still wanted him around when he came back. The guy ghosted her recently and she finally admitted that he wasn't a good person. I bet once he comes back she will start talking to him again.
 
abioni said:
"You can’t just put people in conservatorships or become their power of attorney for random acts of stupidity."

The above statement really hits right now. A friend just went through a major ordeal that was so preventable. This is the second time in two years that she has had a major issue because of a man and ran to me to help her clean it up or support her. These are men I warned her about. I pointed out the red flags and she ignored them. The issue is the fallout affects me too. She is very dramatic and emotional, and she pours everything on me. I was so stressed out in the past few weeks because of her issues. I told myself I will not get involved but she called me all the time crying and acting like she might die. The worst part is, despite what happened and the guy not being there for her, she still thought she could remain friends with the guy. She said he wasn't a bad guy after the guy literally abandoned her in the middle of a crisis that he helped created. She still wanted him around when he came back. The guy ghosted her recently and she finally admitted that he wasn't a good person. I bet once he comes back she will start talking to him again.
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That sounds exhausting like she is grown so she would have to deal. Your a good friend.
 
DVAntDany said:
You are absolutely right. If not called a hater then called overly concerned. I’ve witnessed enough to say that if the offense has happened subsequent times, then the help is more than likely falling on deaf ears. You can’t just put people in conservatorships or become their power of attorney for random acts of stupidity. However, the cooking lady could be the sum of her friend circle. She might just need new friends.
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This is why I am a loner.. Friendships like that become superficial to me and where I’m at mentally, I can’t be bothered. And it’s not about sitting in judgement either, since we are all flawed and have weak areas that could use some improvement. Having a friend that one can trust, confide in, and not be judged is so needed in these trying times.

I don’t mind being supportive and a shoulder to cry on, but you (generally speaking) are not going to keep crying to me for 9 years about why you don’t understand the reason Johnnie won’t marry you. I’mma tell you to write it in your journal. Maybe if you read your own thoughts back to you, you might get the answers you need.
 
ckisland said:
I feel like the bigger apps are good if you're willing to pay (I'm not at the moment). Like Hinge has a lot of restrictions that make it not as useful to me. But I haven't been on Tinder in forever. I used to like Okcupid because the profiles were so extensive.

I'm just trying out these outliers just out of curiosity. I'll probably jump on one of the bigger ones again just to compare.
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I’m willing to pay for eharmony lord the fact that it’s come to this lol. I’m going to try these other sites just to see if anything pops. If I meet someone on these sites I’m going to laugh.
 
ckisland said:
I'm on a Christian one called Upward and then another called Badoo. Badoo is nice because you can see all of your likes without having to match with them for free.

Badoo is where I'm having the most action!
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I never heard of either of those. Wow, I’ve been away for too long. What is the crowd like these days? Nearly 8 years ago, I saw a lot of men looking for real relationships. Then 4 years ago, it changed to most just wanting to smash or being overly concerned about being catfished. I’m hoping it’s changed for the better.

Due to the stupidity on there, I use to have the disclaimer that read the following: Unless your sperm is worth its weight in gold, then Im no ones cum bucket. At that point, I didn’t take it seriously and just wanted to meet people for fun. I also tried to be diversified with my choices by including all races and most ages. I think my favorite first date was going sky diving.

Im not currently interested in romantically dating but I’d like to stay abreast on what’s new.
 
DVAntDany said:
I never heard of either of those. Wow, I’ve been away for too long. What is the crowd like these days? Nearly 8 years ago, I saw a lot of men looking for real relationships. Then 4 years ago, it changed to most just wanting to smash or being overly concerned about being catfished. I’m hoping it’s changed for the better.

Due to the stupidity on there, I use to have the disclaimer that read the following: Unless your sperm is worth its weight in gold, then Im no ones cum bucket. At that point, I didn’t take it seriously and just wanted to meet people for fun. I also tried to be diversified with my choices by including all races and most ages. I think my favorite first date was going sky diving.

Im not currently interested in romantically dating but I’d like to stay abreast on what’s new.
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I would say that it's a mixed bag, but I'm shocked at how many married men have messaged me on Badoo. I've never gotten THAT before. The Badoo crowd is not great so fair. I decided to add Boo back into the rotation since that's where I met a decent guy that I'm still currently talking to.
 
ckisland said:
I would say that it's a mixed bag, but I'm shocked at how many married men have messaged me on Badoo. I've never gotten THAT before. The Badoo crowd is not great so fair. I decided to add Boo back into the rotation since that's where I met a decent guy that I'm still currently talking to.
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Married men? :shocked: Are they openly revealing this information on their profiles (in open marriages) or you are finding it out with tough questions or background checks?

That is disgusting!!
 
ckisland said:
I would say that it's a mixed bag, but I'm shocked at how many married men have messaged me on Badoo. I've never gotten THAT before. The Badoo crowd is not great so fair. I decided to add Boo back into the rotation since that's where I met a decent guy that I'm still currently talking to.
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I’m not surprised. I had a ex coworker who only dated married men as they had something to lose and less upkeep. Many men are bold and if they see something they like they will try. Makes me lose faith in marriage yet I know I have to fix my faith.
 
Plushottie said:
I’m willing to pay for eharmony lord the fact that it’s come to this lol. I’m going to try these other sites just to see if anything pops. If I meet someone on these sites I’m going to laugh.
Click to expand...

Lately I’ve been thinking about trying Eharmony. It’s expensive but I can’t imagine most people on there paying all that money just to waste time compared to the free sites. I’ve never tried online dating before but if I do I’d rather pay.
 
TrulyBlessed said:
Lately I’ve been thinking about trying Eharmony. It’s expensive but I can’t imagine most people on there paying all that money just to waste time compared to the free sites. I’ve never tried online dating before but if I do I’d rather pay.
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You would be surprised but since I am trying to put as much effort in I feel the paid ones are a step above. All of my past dates have been online so it’s my only way as traditional means don’t hit.
 
abioni said:
"You can’t just put people in conservatorships or become their power of attorney for random acts of stupidity."

The above statement really hits right now. A friend just went through a major ordeal that was so preventable. This is the second time in two years that she has had a major issue because of a man and ran to me to help her clean it up or support her. These are men I warned her about. I pointed out the red flags and she ignored them. The issue is the fallout affects me too. She is very dramatic and emotional, and she pours everything on me. I was so stressed out in the past few weeks because of her issues. I told myself I will not get involved but she called me all the time crying and acting like she might die. The worst part is, despite what happened and the guy not being there for her, she still thought she could remain friends with the guy. She said he wasn't a bad guy after the guy literally abandoned her in the middle of a crisis that he helped created. She still wanted him around when he came back. The guy ghosted her recently and she finally admitted that he wasn't a good person. I bet once he comes back she will start talking to him again.
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Girl, I feel your pain. Sadly, clarity usually enters the building once the man leaves. You and your friend might luck out and she is done for good.

Love can be one hell of a drug. Some people can’t handle it. Different researches have shown that love is much like the sensation of feeling addicted to drugs with the release of euphoria, including brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and vasopressin. Being in-love can be a beautiful thing but not every body needs to experience it. I put it on the same level as people who shouldn’t become parents and those who shouldn’t drive.

@Evolving78 Your explanation is where lack of sympathy makes sense.
 
ckisland said:
I would say that it's a mixed bag, but I'm shocked at how many married men have messaged me on Badoo. I've never gotten THAT before. The Badoo crowd is not great so fair. I decided to add Boo back into the rotation since that's where I met a decent guy that I'm still currently talking to.
Click to expand...
Interesting. I’m not surprised. I know on alternative social/dating sites like FetLife or Alt that married men are trying to get what they can’t get at home. Most are there for the fantasy of it all. Of course he knows his wife does not want a bukake in the face and he knew it when he married her. For some reason they can’t kill that dream. Just look at Prince William and his pegging incident.

So are they openly letting you know they are married or are you finding out after talking with them? I know some are into falsely labeling finding a consitant person for threesomes as looking for a polyamorous relationship.
 
DVAntDany said:
Girl, I feel your pain. Sadly, clarity usually enters the building once the man leaves. You and your friend might luck out and she is done for good.

Love can be one hell of a drug. Some people can’t handle it. Different researches have shown that love is much like the sensation of feeling addicted to drugs with the release of euphoria, including brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and vasopressin. Being in-love can be a beautiful thing but not every body needs to experience it. I put it on the same level as people who shouldn’t become parents and those who shouldn’t drive.

@Evolving78 Your explanation is where lack of sympathy makes sense.
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I agree with everything you stated.
 
lavaflow99 said:
Married men? :shocked: Are they openly revealing this information on their profiles (in open marriages) or you are finding it out with tough questions or background checks?

That is disgusting!!
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The information wasn't in their profile (otherwise I would have passed them right on by). I noticed guys were asking if I was single, so I started copying them and asking them if they were single pretty much up front. They were just being straight up honest with it.
 
DVAntDany said:
Interesting. I’m not surprised. I know on alternative social/dating sites like FetLife or Alt that married men are trying to get what they can’t get at home. Most are there for the fantasy of it all. Of course he knows his wife does not want a bukake in the face and he knew it when he married her. For some reason they can’t kill that dream. Just look at Prince William and his pegging incident.

So are they openly letting you know they are married or are you finding out after talking with them? I know some are into falsely labeling finding a consitant person for threesomes as looking for a polyamorous relationship.
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I'm finding this out from talking to them. I'm asking if they've ever been married and if they had kids upfront. It's twisted but I appreciate the honesty.
 
I want to be cuffed this winter. I'm not ina rush to get into a relationship so I don't mind having someone around just to keep me warm.

I've been "hanging out" with a for er coworker. He seems cool, but I'm not sure if he'll be consistent enough for what I'm looking for right now. So far he's been coming by my place when I reach out, but we'll see. He's really likeable, gentlemanly and our libidos match. However, on the actual dating front there's much to be desired.

I decided to wait until summer's officially over before I rejoin the apps. I sense that most men are outside socializing. I always wanted to use that time to socialize in real life also. I think once everyone is indoors I'll be able to rack up dates much easier. I'm not quite sure what app I'm going to use though.

Someone up thread mentioned eHarmony. The last time I looked into that site I saw a lot of complaints. Apparently they hustle you by billing you even once you've unsubscribed
 
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C@ssandr@ said:
I want to be cuffed this winter. I'm not ina rush to get into a relationship so I don't mind having someone around just to keep me warm.

I've been "hanging out" with a for er coworker. He seems cool, but I'm not sure if he'll be consistent enough for what I'm looking for right now. So far he's been coming by my place when I reach out, but we'll see. He's really likeable, gentlemanly and our libidos match. However, on the actual dating front there's much to be desired.

I decided to wait until summer's officially over before I rejoin the apps. I sense that most men are outside socializing. I always wanted to use that time to socialize in real life also. I think once everyone is indoors I'll be able to rack up dates much easier. I'm not quite sure what app I'm going to use though.

Someone up thread mentioned eHarmony. The last time I looked into that site I saw a lot of complaints. Apparently they hustle you by billing you even once you've unsubscribed
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That last part was for me as I wanted to try a better site because the others lack so much but this is something I will keep my eye on.
 
Plushottie said:
That last part was for me as I wanted to try a better site because the others lack so much but this is something I will keep my eye on.
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Yes! And please keep us updated!

Sometime ago, when I was taking dating seriously, I came across a site that pointed out that Tinder was the best site for marriage since dating is a numbers game.

The theory makes sense and I think it jives with how many men prefer to meet women. They aren't a fan of a bunch of "barriers" (like writing a profile).

However I personally prefer sites with profiles because all of the facts are laid out upfront. I get to know what you're looking for and if you have kids before we even connect.

Someone up thread mentioned "interviewing" their dates. I know for some people that would be a turn off. I'm personally turned off by lines of questioning so I'm biased. If Im presented with the basics upfront about a guy (ie through his profile) then it allows me to actually get to know him through natural conversation. But I am biased here because not only do I enjoy conversing, in general, but I feel like it's easier for me to get to know someone more through observation rather than what they tell me.

Sometimes I feel like it's such a shame that I am damn near an online dating expert, but I realized I am unusually observant which is what has made me "successful" with it.
 
C@ssandr@ said:
Yes! And please keep us updated!

Sometime ago, when I was taking dating seriously, I came across a site that pointed out that Tinder was the best site for marriage since dating is a numbers game.

The theory makes sense and I think it jives with how many men prefer to meet women. They aren't a fan of a bunch of "barriers" (like writing a profile).

However I personally prefer sites with profiles because all of the facts are laid out upfront. I get to know what you're looking for and if you have kids before we even connect.

Someone up thread mentioned "interviewing" their dates. I know for some people that would be a turn off. I'm personally turned off by lines of questioning so I'm biased. If Im presented with the basics upfront about a guy (ie through his profile) then it allows me to actually get to know him through natural conversation. But I am biased here because not only do I enjoy conversing, in general, but I feel like it's easier for me to get to know someone more through observation rather than what they tell me.

Sometimes I feel like it's such a shame that I am damn near an online dating expert, but I realized I am unusually observant which is what has made me "successful" with it.
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That makes sense to me and like you i like a profile because some stuff like I’m poly/ethic non-monogamous etc I would prefer to know upfront as I will not engage.

I usually am very gun ho but this time around I’m procrastinating I guess fear finally has killed the optimism I once had but we do it anyway.
 
I met a 28 year old at a party over the weekend and he wanted to know if I was available to date. Errrrr, I’m in my early 40s (I tend to get mistaken for mid 20s). I knew he looked younger but I was thinking early to mid 30s. While we were dancing I stared directly into his eyes and started singing to him lyrics to the songs that were playing just to be fun. We danced through 5 songs before I got tired and sat down. Once he revealed his age I told him in a very sad voice that I’m so much older than him. He didn’t want to leave my side and wanted to keep in touch so I gave him my social media. He really wanted my phone number instead but was ok with it. Poor lad thought I was around his age but that still didn’t stop him from messaging me later saying he hopes we can connect sometime. I wish guys my age would come correct. These youngins seem to have better game.
 
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TrulyBlessed said:
I met a 28 year old at a party over the weekend and he wanted to know if I was available to date. Errrrr, I’m in my early 40s (I tend to get mistaken for mid 20s). I knew he looked younger but I was thinking early to mid 30s. While we were dancing I stared directly into his eyes and started singing to him lyrics to the songs that were playing just to be fun. We danced through 5 songs before I got tired and sat down. Once he revealed his age I told him in a very sad voice that I’m so much older than him. He didn’t want to leave my side and wanted to keep in touch so I gave him my social media. He really wanted my phone number instead but was ok with it. Poor lad thought I was around his age but that still didn’t stop him from messaging me later saying he hopes we can connect sometime. I wish guys my age would come correct. These youngins seem to have better game.
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Age is not just a number lol. I would have been like aww you’re a bitty baby.
 
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