*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

KimPossibli said:
I'm ready to pelt my pum in this man face ... to be quite honest
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Do it! :)

bellatiamarie said:
See, I’m not finna do all that explaining... especially not to no man. They know better.

Deletedt. Blockedt. Cancelledt.
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Yeah I block people really quickly over BS, being bored or just over the fact that you don't care to put in any kind of effort. My friend said I quick to cut guys off. I told her no I'm quick to cut BS off, period.
 
ckisland said:
Welp I'm taking another shot at online dating. I wonder how different things with be broadening my flavor profile :look: and upping my standards.
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Girl I tried. I opened my profile to all kinds of men. I don't know if its the websites.
I have done bumble,pof, okc, hinge,coffee meets bagel and tinder. But wondering if I should pay for match or e-harmony something?
 
I am still trying to get over the guy that I was dating who broke it off with me because he doesn't want to commit. I thought he was the one y'all, so this hit me harder than I thought. :lol:

I started talking to a few other guys and there is one who has been trying to see me, but I am just not feeling him. He has a nice job, house, etc., but I am not attracted to him. Yes some of it may be shallow, like he has fang looking teeth and bad skin. :look: He seems nice, but also seems like he can end up being a little demanding with me and my time, and I don't play that. Another minus is the fact that he has two daughters, an 18 year old and 15 year old. He is divorced and said that his ex wife left him. :scratchchin: A part of me thinks that I should give him a chance and go out on a date with him, and another part of me doesn't want to waste both his and my time. What would you ladies do?
 
@Kimiche I personally don't date men with children.

Why did he wife leave him? How did that situation prepare him for his next relationship? How involved his he with his daughters and how is that going to allocate time for the potential new women in his life? Those are some questions I would ask if I allowed him to take me out to dinner.
 
LovingLady said:
@Kimiche I personally don't date men with children.

Why did he wife leave him? How did that situation prepare him for his next relationship? How involved his he with his daughters and how is that going to allocate time for the potential new women in his life? Those are some questions I would ask if I allowed him to take me out to dinner.
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Thanks for your response. I do not like to date men with children either. That is another reason why I am disappointed that it didn't work out with the last guy that I was dating. :cry3: He has no children and that is rare nowadays for men in my age group.

This guy didn't mention why his ex wife left him, but I would definitely ask if we do go out. He said that his daughters live with him 50 percent of the time. :whyme: Today he said that he wants to see me and I told him that I can't, maybe next weekend. He said that if we can't meet this weekend then to call him later. I really do not feel like talking to him. I'm not trying to lead him on, but if I stop talking to him then I'd feel like I might be blocking my blessings if anything.
I wish I was attracted to him like I was attracted to my last guy.
 
So I've been talking to 3 potential prospects. 2 are in their 30s and both have my number. The other is 29 (I'm 31).

Guy #1: K seems like a butt already. He texted wanting pics and hasn't texted back since not getting any. So that's a no

Guy #2: S called me tonight. Called me after our scheduled time but still in the window I'll talk up until. He talks A LOT!!!! He told me his life story growing up and had me laughing so hard. He's also country as all get out :rofl: , but he's that ATL kinda country. He talked about working to build a friendship first because it'll lead to longevity in the relationship. Con is that he has a 12 year old daughter. I'm on the fence about giving men with children a chance. I love kids. I want a lot of kids, God willing. It was just the first call though. He asked if he call me tomorrow and I told him that Saturday morning works for me.

Guy #3: KB seems like a handful in a fun way. We're both into anime, so that's were we broke ground at. I haven't gotten to talk to him much yet, and we're still in the dm stage.
 
Kimiche said:
I am still trying to get over the guy that I was dating who broke it off with me because he doesn't want to commit. I thought he was the one y'all, so this hit me harder than I thought. :lol:

I started talking to a few other guys and there is one who has been trying to see me, but I am just not feeling him. He has a nice job, house, etc., but I am not attracted to him. Yes some of it may be shallow, like he has fang looking teeth and bad skin. :look: He seems nice, but also seems like he can end up being a little demanding with me and my time, and I don't play that. Another minus is the fact that he has two daughters, an 18 year old and 15 year old. He is divorced and said that his ex wife left him. :scratchchin: A part of me thinks that I should give him a chance and go out on a date with him, and another part of me doesn't want to waste both his and my time. What would you ladies do?
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This is like a trick lol. The guy you were attracted to that broke it off with you was actually a blessing because he left before you could get attached and make concessions for someone who probably wasnt going to put in 1/4 of the effort; it likely would have happened due to your attraction.

The second guy, because you arent attracted, you are able to make better decisions. You will keep a lot of your standards and boundaries intact. It seems like he is willing to make the time for you, but you may also have some space too. I dont think you should use a first date to grill him, thats his opportunity to impress you. Ask what he learned, but dont press. Awkward silence will allow him to fill in that silence and men have a way of talking to much. If you dont want to go on a date with him, let him know and dont waste time; dont pity him. Men always get over on pity.

Maybe write a list of what you want and use the date (if you go) as an opportunity to see how much of it he fills.
 
ckisland said:
He's also country as all get out :rofl: , but he's that ATL kinda country.
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Country men steal my heart. The accent gets me every time :spinning:
Kimiche said:
Yes some of it may be shallow, like he has fang looking teeth and bad skin.
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Not shallow at all :look: Teeth are the first thing I look at. If you're gonna be all up in my mouth (and other places :look:) your dental game needs to be on point #sorrynotsorry
shawnyblazes said:
Oh my.

I found the tenderonis social media page. He’s giving me baby wipe vibes. Smh.
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tenor.gif


:lol: This is part of the reason I have a strict no social media rule w/ dudes I kick it with. I don't even try to find them online. Things easily get misinterpreted and I don't wanna stress about who every girl is in your pics or what that tweet meant etc. I don't need to follow you and you don't need to follow me.
 
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LostInAdream said:
@Kimiche you're not interested in him. Tell Him such and move on. You’re making too many concessions for him and you haven’t even gone out. You like what you like and that’s it. There are no blessings being blocked. He ain’t it sis!
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Saludable84 said:
This is like a trick lol. The guy you were attracted to that broke it off with you was actually a blessing because he left before you could get attached and make concessions for someone who probably wasnt going to put in 1/4 of the effort; it likely would have happened due to your attraction.

The second guy, because you arent attracted, you are able to make better decisions. You will keep a lot of your standards and boundaries intact. It seems like he is willing to make the time for you, but you may also have some space too. I dont think you should use a first date to grill him, thats his opportunity to impress you. Ask what he learned, but dont press. Awkward silence will allow him to fill in that silence and men have a way of talking to much. If you dont want to go on a date with him, let him know and dont waste time; dont pity him. Men always get over on pity.

Maybe write a list of what you want and use the date (if you go) as an opportunity to see how much of it he fills.
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Points taken ladies. Thank you so much. I think I will pass on this guy.
 
Had a date with a Nigerian man.
He was so arrogant to the Haitian waitress. Even though we were at a Nigerian restaurant he felt she should have known what he was asking her. He corrected his manners after he saw my face but it turned me off quick.

Dinner was nice after that. We laughed. Joked but he’ll be better as a friend. I can’t see myself in a relationship with him.
 
(KB) 29 year old is out
K is out

Had another phone call today with S and it was as enjoyable as the first. I got to talk more this time :laugh: . We talked about past relationships and he (once again) was very transparent. We talked a bit about dates as well. He asked if he could call me again tomorrow, and I like that.

Just started messaging with this new guy, J. He asks questions and sends me these long, really funny messages. I'm intrigued, but in the back of my mind I wonder if he's going to be annoying.
 
cocomochaa said:
I have a date with husband potential next week!! And I'm not obsessing - I'm proud.
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welp. e it confirmed we get on but unlike the weekend we first met, he was hungry. I appreciate horniness but its unattractive if i can tell. When the kissing is faux passionate just to escalate things. He just wanted to hit and i was not interested at all.
He didn't call /txt to see if i got home ok.
 
cinnespice said:
Girl I tried. I opened my profile to all kinds of men. I don't know if its the websites.
I have done bumble,pof, okc, hinge,coffee meets bagel and tinder. But wondering if I should pay for match or e-harmony something?
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A friend of mine suggested eHarmony for searching for serious relationships. It's where he met his wife. He was a very attractive fellow by the way, didn't reek of desperation or anything. He explained that free dating apps attract people who aren't really serious and can have all sorts of intentions. The price tag on eHarmony tends to assure that the people signed up mean it, they want to find someone for a serious relationship.

Of course, I'm one of those who fall into that want-a-relationship-but-not-that-bad category, as I am not ready to settle down. If you try to sign up for eHarmony and say you're not ready to settle down, they'll reject your account.

I gave up on POF a long time ago, man that site was ratchet I don't think I met anyone off there. Met my last ex on OKC, very attractive, rich family, hung, but he was spoiled and I could not be with someone who did not understand work ethic. Sometimes I wondered if I should have just put up with it, not like I can find that many pros in a partner easily again. Haven't tried Hinge because I don't have a FB, not sure if CMB falls in the same category as well? And Tinder... my old neighbor met his 3rd wife on there, and my best friend got divorced and found a new boyfriend on there very shortly after. It was so easy for them.

When all apps start failing, it may be geographic area. Maybe where you live is just desolate of good selections. I'm starting to feel that way myself. But you won't know until you try expanding your distance and the more serious apps, IMO.
 
I seriously have no desire to date. It is exhausting. Too many shysters and people looking to hoodwink and swindle women. I never thought ever in my life that I would be content with the single life, but the older I get, the more I appreciate "me time" and the fact that I can do what I want, when I want, not be worrying about if this dude is full of crap, if the woman he calls his "friend" is really his friend or more (she was more), not having to worry about compromising with someone else, going outta my way to please someone else. I just am enjoying being with ME.
 
sunflora said:
A friend of mine suggested eHarmony for searching for serious relationships. It's where he met his wife. He was a very attractive fellow by the way, didn't reek of desperation or anything. He explained that free dating apps attract people who aren't really serious and can have all sorts of intentions. The price tag on eHarmony tends to assure that the people signed up mean it, they want to find someone for a serious relationship.

Of course, I'm one of those who fall into that want-a-relationship-but-not-that-bad category, as I am not ready to settle down. If you try to sign up for eHarmony and say you're not ready to settle down, they'll reject your account.

I gave up on POF a long time ago, man that site was ratchet I don't think I met anyone off there. Met my last ex on OKC, very attractive, rich family, hung, but he was spoiled and I could not be with someone who did not understand work ethic. Sometimes I wondered if I should have just put up with it, not like I can find that many pros in a partner easily again. Haven't tried Hinge because I don't have a FB, not sure if CMB falls in the same category as well? And Tinder... my old neighbor met his 3rd wife on there, and my best friend got divorced and found a new boyfriend on there very shortly after. It was so easy for them.

When all apps start failing, it may be geographic area. Maybe where you live is just desolate of good selections. I'm starting to feel that way myself. But you won't know until you try expanding your distance and the more serious apps, IMO.
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Yeah I haven't touch POF in a year there are a lot of unhinged people on POF.
And it's funny I have used online dating off and on. I was in a 3 year relationship came back a couple of months after that breakup and some of the same dudes that were hanging out online from 3 years ago. Then when you get the story from them none of them were ever serious other than getting some tail.

I live in NYC most guys are not looking to date, but to hookup. They will take you out for coffee or a drink (or 5 preferably) in the hopes of getting some. I usually piss them off by ordering water or ginger ale...buddy you can't catch me slipping you can run that on someone else. I have some epic stories. I'm 40 so I done seen a lot, like by now I should have had my brain washed with holy water. The dating pool got worse as I got older. You would think by a certain age people would stop with the foolishness....nope some never do.

Long time ago I tried e-harmony and every time they matched me the person was shorter than me. It was weird. I'm like about 5' 11" I guess I'm considered reallllllllllllyyyy tall.

Right now I just decided not to date but it's been like that for a couple of months not much going on right now. Last one I tried was CMB and Hinge. Again more clowns.....and I hate the circus.
 
Sometimes I get so annoyed with how fixated some women get on other women’s love life or dating choices. This past weekend, I went to a festival with a few friends and one of my friend’s brought her friend who I’ve never met before.

We were all having a conversation about men, dating, etc. and she had made a comment about men not liking women who are too thirsty and pressed. Later, we’re walking around and she’s commenting on literally every semi-attractive, tall-ish man we pass and then “scolding” us because my other friends and I weren’t making any effort to flip our hair and bat our eyelashes at them :rolleyes:.

It’s like ok, there’s attractive men here. That’s cool. But right now, I’m focusing on this cookies n’ cream donut and getting another drink :lachen:. They can come talk to me while I finish this donut if they want. But, I don’t have any room on my roster right now anyway lol. To me, her attitude was seeming a little “thirsty and pressed”.

I’ve gotten this kind of attitude from older women in my family (just being overly excited and eager every time I happen to go somewhere with them and there’s attractive men). I do like meeting attractive men but when I go out, I like to focus on having a good time and not making it all about meeting men.
 
I know why I am not feeling Match.com. Going through the profiles can be sad when you get down to the, "He's looking for" section. I live in California and the majority of these Black dudes have the preference of: White/Caucasian, East Indian, Asian, Latino / Hispanic, Middle Eastern, etc. Everyone except for Black women. :rolleyes:
 
Kimiche said:
I know why I am not feeling Match.com. Going through the profiles can be sad when you get down to the, "He's looking for" section. I live in California and the majority of these Black dudes have the preference of: White/Caucasian, East Indian, Asian, Latino / Hispanic, Middle Eastern, etc. Everyone except for Black women. :rolleyes:
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And it's always these that are the fastest and thirstiest to try to talk to you. I will never understand it but I will always swerve, huge red flag there.

Are you against dipping your toe in interracial dating?
 
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