*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Reinventing21 said:
@whosthatgurl

You did so well to stop this nightmare before it got any further.

He sounds dangerous as %&*. Did you file a police report?

Do not let him back in. I know your family is upset you were with him to begin with, but you were so smart to get out early in the game. Ask them for help anyway.
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Yes I did file. I reached out and received sarcasms, and you have low self esteem, along with a plethora of other negatives. So I'm in this thing by myself. Thankfully there is one person that is willing to help me get my car fixed.

Honestly it took me a while to get to this point, I really did not want to let go, trying to protect him from what eventually will happen if he doesn't get his head on straight. But I didn't receive the respect I deserved regardless of how he felt about what I did.
 
I thought that things were going well with the guy that I was dating for a few months. I had a great time during the last date that we had. He even told me that he wanted us to be in a serious relationship. We were talking on the phone and texting back and forth, and things seemed to be going good. We talked about where we would be going on our next date.

He ghosted me for some days last week. I decided to text him to see how he was doing and he said that he was good and in "Grind Mode" and would contact me later. He never did. I decided to text him one more time this week to see how he was doing again and he finally responded by saying, "You deserve an explanation. I care for you, but I know that I'm not the man for you, because I am not willing to commit like you would want me to. Before I hurt you, I'm willing to cut it off now." He then tells me that he wishes me the best. I asked him why did he make it seem like he wanted to be in a serious relationship and then the sudden change. His response was that he wanted to try to make it work out, but he realized that he just couldn't be the man that I want him to be. He said there is nothing wrong with me and that I am a good woman.

In other words, he wants to be a ho out there on these streets. I'm just glad that I didn't get caught up in that mess with there being so many diseases out there. These men are something else. :nono:
 
whosthatgurl said:
Yes I did file. I reached out and received sarcasms, and you have low self esteem, along with a plethora of other negatives. So I'm in this thing by myself. Thankfully there is one person that is willing to help me get my car fixed.

Honestly it took me a while to get to this point, I really did not want to let go, trying to protect him from what eventually will happen if he doesn't get his head on straight. But I didn't receive the respect I deserved regardless of how he felt about what I did.
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Oh Sweetie, you made a mistake, it's okay. The important thing is that you got out relatively early in the game. Grieve for the relationship that you thought you had but recognize the destructive one that you did have.

You can't save him form what will eventually happen to him and it's not your responsibility to do that. He has to do that.

And you are not as alone as you think you are- you have a circle of sisters here ready to listen and encourage you on your journey.


:bighug:
 
I've found out that he has moved on to who he thinks is his
"wife" as he states. How in the world do you destroy someone's life and move on in a week flat?

I pray for the lady. Whoever she may be. I told someone last week I do not wish what I've gone through on the next person.

I woke up feeling sad and started praying. Because I'm truly tired of feeling sad and crying. I really feel like the Lord has put it on my heart on what I need to do to heal. Without stating what it is, if you believe in the power of prayer, please lift me up in it.

Thank you :bighug:
 
I went on a first day last night with a dude I met at the beginning of the month. I was at an event and this man like “hey, I know you!” I look at him and say “sir, you’ve never seen me a day in your life” and then I laugh it off.

He then names exactly where he knows me from and I know it’s the truth because it’s an old hangout spot of mine.

So I actually look at him (with my tipsy self) and he is cute. I we talk for a bit and I give him my number.

So he showed up last night, and I'm looking at him. He's cute to me...until he turns around. He has patches of thinning hair and rough-looking skin on his head.

I get past it mostly because I'm not looking at the back of his head for the rest of the night. We had a great time. He is sweet, smart and has a decent job. I like him but iono if I can get past that head. I would need a plan to get him to shave that thang bald and exfoliate.

Lord knows I am not perfect but cheese on bread, can't we just fix this little thing?
 
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shespoison said:
He is sweet, smart and has a decent job. I like him but iono if I can get past that head. I would need a plan to get him to shave that thang bald and exfoliate.

Lord knows I am not perfect but cheese on bread, can't we just fix this little thing?
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Girl you gotta start talking that up now. Maybe wait until the third or fourth date and then do it. I did the same thing with my ex-husband and my oldest brother when they were holding on to their balding heads for dear life. :lachen:
 
shortycocoa said:
Girl you gotta start talking that up now. Maybe wait until the third or fourth date and then do it. I did the same thing with my ex-husband and my oldest brother when they were holding on to their balding heads for dear life. :lachen:
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My ex-husband fought me so hard on that! :lachen: well he is bald now and he rocks a full beard. I don’t know if I had anything to do with that...lol it’s hard for men (especially younger men) to come to terms with losing their hair. I regret trying to push him into shaving the rest of his hair off. I know I would be resistant if a man tried to tell me to something I wasn’t ready for.
 
Evolving78 said:
My ex-husband fought me so hard on that! :lachen: well he is bald now and he rocks a full beard. I don’t know if I had anything to do with that...lol it’s hard for men (especially younger men) to come to terms with losing their hair. I regret trying to push him into shaving the rest of his hair off. I know I would be resistant if a man tried to tell me to something I wasn’t ready for.
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I feel you on that...but listen...they look even more raggedy (IMO) trying to hold on to that little bit of hair. I think the last straw for me at the time was when my ex was buying a box of a generic Rogaine type product. I was like "Bruh...if you don't put that **** back!!!" and he wasted money on it anyway... didn't even use it after he realized how much work it was. Plus I told him that once you start using it you have to keep using it forever, or else your hair you're trying to save will fall out anyway.

He determined at some point that he wasn't about that life and once I also put him on to the fact that he could shave his own damn head at home and stop wasting money for the barber to do it he was sold. :lachen:

My brother wasn't such a hard sell... I just basically had to tell him to let that go and he would pull way more women after he did. :look: :lachen:
 
The front of his hair is just fine. There’s just some spots on his crown and in the back that need the blood of Jesus.

Maybe I’ll just take my contacts out when I hang with him. If I can’t see it is it really there?

I don’t think I could ask :cry3:

When he saw me he looked so happy and then a little nervous. I’m silly so I just made a joke about him looking nervous but I couldn’t imagine telling him his head looks crazy. Not unless we were already in a relationship.


bellatiamarie said:
@shespoison is his hairline receding ala male pattern baldness or is it just the dry patches and thinning? The thin spots may be because of the dry patches. He might have eczema or some other type of scalp fungus. He can probably save the hair follicles if he gets those spots cleared up. He may just need to see a dermatologist. I’d ask him about it :look: but that’s just me :lol:.
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shespoison said:
The front of his hair is just fine. There’s just some spots on his crown and in the back that need the blood of Jesus.

Maybe I’ll just take my contacts out when I hang with him. If I can’t see it is it really there?

I don’t think I could ask :cry3:

When he saw me he looked so happy and then a little nervous. I’m silly so I just made a joke about him looking nervous but I couldn’t imagine telling him his head looks crazy. Not unless we were already in a relationship.
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You think he has a scalp condition?
 
shespoison said:
After the first time I looked my heart couldn’t take it. My eyes avoided it the rest of the night.


But from that first glance...prolly and most likely.
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Dang and hilarious at the same time.

Find out if he goes to a barber. If yes, suggest his barber is might be using dirty equipment and it’s messing up his scalp; he might get an infection :look: he should get it checked out.

If not, suggest to him that he should get it checked out because he wouldn’t want to get an infection. :look:
 
shespoison said:
After the first time I looked my heart couldn’t take it. My eyes avoided it the rest of the night.


But from that first glance...prolly and most likely.
Click to expand...
I don’t think you are being shallow. I don’t believe in a woman cleaning men up. He knows good and well what he looks like, and you shouldn’t have to go playing fix it/makeover lady trying to clean this man up. Ashy Patch Adams can be a project for someone else. But if you really want a man and don’t mind pulling out your makeover bag of tricks, go for it. It’s a thankless job.
 
Agreed. I'm not doing any of that with work. Patchy mcpatchy is aware of his scalp he could carry his arse to the Dr if he was so concerned.
It isn't your job to contort yourself to like his ashiness.



Evolving78 said:
I don’t think you are being shallow. I don’t believe in a woman cleaning men up. He knows good and well what he looks like, and you shouldn’t have to go playing fix it/makeover lady trying to clean this man up. Ashy Patch Adams can be a project for someone else. But if you really want a man and don’t mind pulling out your makeover bag of tricks, go for it. It’s a thankless job.
Click to expand...
 
I’m not a barbarathebuilder type of gal. I feel shallow because I actually like him and he’s makes more sense for me than most ppl I usually date.

I’ve played myself for men with full scalps of hair who didn’t deserve it. I’m going to mind my own head and skin until I find a man that acts right and doesn’t need doogrow.


Evolving78 said:
I don’t think you are being shallow. I don’t believe in a woman cleaning men up. He knows good and well what he looks like, and you shouldn’t have to go playing fix it/makeover lady trying to clean this man up. Ashy Patch Adams can be a project for someone else. But if you really want a man and don’t mind pulling out your makeover bag of tricks, go for it. It’s a thankless job.
Click to expand...

BrownBetty said:
Agreed. I'm not doing any of that with work. Patchy mcpatchy is aware of his scalp he could carry his arse to the Dr if he was so concerned.
It isn't your job to contort yourself to like his ashiness.
Click to expand...
 
whosthatgurl said:
I've found out that he has moved on to who he thinks is his
"wife" as he states. How in the world do you destroy someone's life and move on in a week flat?

I pray for the lady. Whoever she may be. I told someone last week I do not wish what I've gone through on the next person.

I woke up feeling sad and started praying. Because I'm truly tired of feeling sad and crying. I really feel like the Lord has put it on my heart on what I need to do to heal. Without stating what it is, if you believe in the power of prayer, please lift me up in it.

Thank you :bighug:
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:catfight: I wanna fight him for you sis he is trash
:bighug:
 
whosthatgurl said:
I've found out that he has moved on to who he thinks is his
"wife" as he states. How in the world do you destroy someone's life and move on in a week flat?

I pray for the lady. Whoever she may be. I told someone last week I do not wish what I've gone through on the next person.

I woke up feeling sad and started praying. Because I'm truly tired of feeling sad and crying. I really feel like the Lord has put it on my heart on what I need to do to heal. Without stating what it is, if you believe in the power of prayer, please lift me up in it.

Thank you :bighug:
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Awww! Sending you hugs as well. :bighug:I know how you feel. I have been sad since my situation unfolded last week. I even did something that I didn't think I was going to do. I broke down crying at work when my co worker/ friend asked me how I was doing. We will be alright.
 
shespoison said:
I’m not a barbarathebuilder type of gal. I feel shallow because I actually like him and he’s makes more sense for me than most ppl I usually date.

I’ve played myself for men with full scalps of hair who didn’t deserve it. I’m going to mind my own head and skin until I find a man that acts right and doesn’t need doogrow.
Click to expand...
:lachen:

I get it. It’s up to if you care to say something or not. It just seemed you may, but not now. I mostly care about how I look :look: so something like that, unless I couldn’t get over it, I probably wouldn’t care much about.
 
Guy I met in another state while traveling for work: Did you enjoy yourself in my city?
Me: *Detailed answer, asking open ended questions to continue the conversation*
....
2 days later him: Hi beautiful, how was your weekend
Me: *Answering in great detail, asking open ended questions to continue the conversation*
....
2 days later, him: Hi beautiful

I met him in person, at the airport, he approached me and started the convo and conversed well, but this has me thinking Dang, is he slow??
 
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