*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

There is a Latino guy I met at a conference two years ago and he's been chasing me ever since. I'll call him Jose hehe. We have amazing chemistry but I've been blowing him off and I'm not sure why. Maybe because he's back in Cali and I didn't see myself moving back home. Ever. But recent events in Amerikkka have changed my mind (about moving home). I'd like to be close to family, but I'm not planning on making any moves just yet. Anywho, Jose is a scholar/activist at a prestigious uni who does a lot of work with youth empowerment and gang member rehabilitation (he's a former gang member himself). He's clearly smitten with me, and he wants to come visit me in Houston (he'll stay at a hotel). I'm open to it, but I'm a little nervous. Spending a weekend with someone is a lot different then hanging out for an evening while partying at a conference (we go to the same conference annually so I see him every time).
 
I am appreciative of women who share their heart and soul about relationships, especially on here. Alot of women like to front about not getting caught up or missing the red flags. I think most of us have been there, and some of us are there right now. My last rlshp was a couple of years ago, and I spent most of that time since on self growth and observing relationships. I observed the flaws in the rlshps around me and have been using them to learn from. I noticed that a lot of people are in bad relationships, or are unhappy, and so instead of judging the women I made note of the vulnerabilities they had that I was able relate to. For example, after a bad birthday thanks to her boyfriend, a friend of mine admitted to me that she had made the conscious choice to stay with the bf because she didn't want to be single in this climate. Instead of feeling some type of way, I decided to check myself, and made sure that I didn't date from that paradigm. (Btw, she broke up with him two months later).

So here I am. I met a dude. And I really do like him. I'm doing my best to stay grounded and assess him according to my actual needs and so far it looks good. This is relatively new and we are still in the talking stages, but I allowed myself to be vulnerable so I can gauge if he'd nurture me in the way that I need to be nurtured. As a hard Cap (yeah i'm bringing astrology in here...but only cus I see m my Capricorn sisteren around :look:). I'm thinking that all of those "heart openers" I've been doing in yoga is to blame. But I've also decided that I do know what I want/need so I should stop purposely being indecisive. Also, I should be serious and honest about it so I don't stay single any longer than I have to.
 
I love being single. I just love it. It's the only time I truly feel like I can be me. I'm always happier.

I was having a convo about relationships with this guy. We were talking about our exes, various experinces etc. and he said something really interesting. He said that overall it seems that I have a generally negative view of relationships. He said I look at them as something that stifles me and prevents me from being my total self. So I told him yeah, that's about right no biggie. Then he said that a relationship is supposed to help me and make me feel empowered & anything but stifled. :look: He asked me if I could name at least 1 ex who didn't make me feel like I was conforming or being smothered. :look: I couldn't.
 
UniquelyDivine said:
Sigh....yesterday was ROUGH for me. I had a couple mini meltdowns but I'm a thug so I'll be back to normal soon.

I kept questioning if I did the right thing by pulling the plug but I deep down I know I did, it just sucks when you're chilling and some fool comes in your life and wreaks havoc.
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:bighug:

I don't want to out right ask what happened, so I'll just ask did he start acting differently? Did a deal breaker come up?
 
Had a friend who recently professed his feelings. We started entertaining something more but since I've recently been in relationships and I was really wanting this time to focus on myself and my mental health I told him I wasn't quite ready right now. He told me he would wait. His son came into town, that changed everything. I knew he would have to spend time with him and I thought I was accomodating that. That coupled with my back and forth just taking time for myself did not end well. He felt neglected and started dealing with someone else.

After about a week or two of weirdness I addressed it, he admitted it. I just laughed. He couldn't understand how calm I was. Honey, I'd rather you tell me now before we have any other issues or went any farther. I just hope he's straight with her cause that night he was still telling me he wanted to be with me. That he was confused. Sure you are. I don't have patience for cowards.
 
So I'm catching up with this dude from around my old way. He was younger and had a huge crush on me, but we lost touch yeeears ago. I noticed he commented on a mutual friend's status, so I said what's up to him and he sent me a friend request.

This ninja told me he just broke up with his 7 kid, 19 year long baby mama 3 weeks ago. Talking about he can't believe it's me, he thought about me not too long ago and sending eye-heart emojis and ish.

Ain't no way in hell, and if he thinks this is anything more than a friendly catch-up, he is sadly mistaken.

I can't even say I'm surprised, though. It wasn't like I had high hopes for him back in the day. He was a sweet kid, but stayed in some ish.
 
MzLady78 said:
So I'm catching up with this dude from around my old way. He was younger and had a huge crush on me, but we lost touch yeeears ago. I noticed he commented on a mutual friend's status, so I said what's up to him and he sent me a friend request.

This ninja told me he just broke up with his 7 kid, 19 year long baby mama 3 weeks ago. Talking about he can't believe it's me, he thought about me not too long ago and sending eye-heart emojis and ish.

Ain't no way in hell, and if he thinks this is anything more than a friendly catch-up, he is sadly mistaken.

I can't even say I'm surprised, though. It wasn't like I had high hopes for him back in the day. He was a sweet kid, but stayed in some ish.
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He wants to make baby #8 with ya! :eek:LOL!! :lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
Browndilocks said:
I love being single. I just love it. It's the only time I truly feel like I can be me. I'm always happier.

I was having a convo about relationships with this guy. We were talking about our exes, various experinces etc. and he said something really interesting. He said that overall it seems that I have a generally negative view of relationships. He said I look at them as something that stifles me and prevents me from being my total self. So I told him yeah, that's about right no biggie. Then he said that a relationship is supposed to help me and make me feel empowered & anything but stifled. :look: He asked me if I could name at least 1 ex who didn't make me feel like I was conforming or being smothered. :look: I couldn't.
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Hoooweee. I relate!

Its very hard trying to start a relationship when i was once contentedly single.

Dude didnt call for like a day. Why was i already planning out the next month unashamedly planning the rest of my single month?

Then he calls and im like oh yea! Missed you too :spinning:. But secretly i was like dag!! How'm i supposed to squeeze him in to my single schedule? :lol:
 
I can't do it. I just can't date these guys I have no attraction to. I tried to but I ultimately end up not having a good time because I'm not feeling the guy.

Where in the world do you find single, straight, attractive men these days? I'm in a new city and I work remotely so I don't feel like I am as social as I used to be. Back home I'd meet men through work events. The girlfriends I've made in my new city only hang around gay men and the decent guys I run across are taken. I've tried Meetup groups but most of them are underutilized by people in my age range.

tumblr_lezikclymF1qej93ko1_500.gif
 
I didn't feel like starting a thread on this but to make a long story short I overheard two guys referring to me as a "nice one" at work. What exactly does that mean?
 
Slowly getting back into dating after a hiatus. I wish I did not have hangups about getting into a serious relationship with a white guy. Went on another date with one this past weekend and while I had fun, I couldn't help but think "Could I really do this?" :ohwell: Esp with all that's going on in country today. I just don't know.
 
So he came back from vacation. I met his family but not his sons. I didn't actually want to meet any of them yet because that seemed to be too much but oh well, what's done is done.

He finally kissed me. Worth the wait. I guess he forgot about the celibacy thing because he really, really tried it.

Honestly, he has a baby mama that I am afraid will be like Tara from LAHHNY. They broke up 6 years ago. She has not cared if he's in a relationship in the past, I feel like because she has his son and he is hers. So yes, celibacy it is for me for now, because I've never shared a man.
 
Chocoluxe said:
The guy I recently started dating has a bday next month and Id like to get him a cute, but reasonably priced gift ($30 max). He's in med school and I always call him Dr.___ (speaking it into existence lol), so I was thinking about gifting him one of these with his name, of course. Thoughts?
il_570xN.924881433_eupk.jpg
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Really cute. I think it looks very thoughtful and shows that you thought about it in advance in order to have time to have it personalized and delivered.
 
LovinLea said:
Really cute. I think it looks very thoughtful and shows that you thought about it in advance in order to have time to have it personalized and delivered.
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So I was getting my married male friend's opinion and he said I shouldnt give him the hanger, because it will put too much extra pressure on him and make it appear that I am "too invested" in him being a doctor. Thoughts?
 
Things have been going really well so far!

We see each other maybe once a week and weekends. We switch off. I love being at his place, it's so comfy. And I love seeing him do stuff around his place while I just sit there and talk to him and watch TV :lol: He meal preps on Sunday and it's very sexy lol.

He remembers EVERYTHING I say, even if I mention it in passing! All while having a terrible memory when trying to remember his own thoughts :lachen: I don't remember ANYthing he mentions :lachen: not because I'm not trying! I just can't remember little details and stuff :( this has never been brought up, I'm just telling yall my thoughts.

On that note, he's big on communicating. Especially when something is bothering him. So I'm not worried about that at all^^^. I really like that. It makes me feel safe to know I'm not doing anything to annoy him that I don't know of.

His birthday was this past weekend. I got him some red velvet cupcakes, his favorite! I met his best friends. There was a party. I mean he got **** faced lol. They were playing go-go (PG people). These *****es really like that ****! Amazing! :lachen: His friends are nice. He got so wasted man oh man lol. I drove his Lexus. That is 1 nice riding car smh lol. The damn windshield wipers detect rain and go by themselves! Smh lmao #IHaveManualEverythingEvenDoorLocksAndWindows :lachen:
He got on my damn nerves that night. He started crying when we were back at his place lmaoooooooo. But he is going through some sad ish right now, so it's ok.

I really like that he's a homebody and don't be trying to be out in the streets. He always talks about how he's 'so old' (he's 27 lol). He is the sleepiest person I've ever met. He goes to bed at 830,9pm and wakes up at 6am and takes naps during the day lol. When we're together over the weekends, he starts yawning at 5,6pm. They be serious yawns, too! :lol: and we'll have woken up at 9,10am, left the house at 2pm, etc! Smh

He brings up marriage and babies a LOT. And talks about 'us' and what 'we're' doing and preparing for 'our future' and how we're a team and other stuff I won't even mention cuz he is crazy lol. Idk why he want kids, them kids would drive his sleepy ass crazy lol. I mentioned this to him and he said that was mean lmao and that he'd fake energy :lachen: ooook.

I mentioned a baby being cute the other day and he said good, less convincing I'll have to do later :confused:

He's really touchy Feely and emotional. I am not lol. But it's cute when he does it and he makes me feel super secure, so it's cool.

I think the women in PG county are ****ing mean cuz I've never experienced this level of cattiness. I know I've been dressing like a thot, and an extra thot when I'm with him, but wow some of these women have noooo regard/respect/couth/care at all. Just stank eye, smirking, out right saying crazy **** to me. I be like the mr.krabs meme lol

PG county sure do got some nice ass houses tho :lol: his dad lives in this community with some ball player. I can't wait to see his mom's house :lachen:

He (and everyone in pg) likes to playfully **** on Baltimore, the bastards. I'd say I bring a nice Baltimore flair to him lmao.

He just got his std test back clean, so we'll be having sex pretty soon thank God I can't wait lol.

I have a bigger and better vocabulary than he does, so I help him with words sometimes. And he seems to genuinely like it! I helped him with 'embassy' and 'consulate' recently lol. He was very appreciative! He says I'm smarter than him but that he has his smart moments lol.

We have our first weekend getaway planned for the 1st weekend in August. His company's banquet thingy. I can't wait to see him in a suit. Ive requested he wear a bow tie lol.

Speaking of clothing. What do yall think of men who wear ripped jeans? GAY, right? Yea, me too lmao. Well, not in PG county. *****s were rocking the ripped jeans all up and through that party! :rofl: I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone! They all can't be gay, right? :lachen:

He'll ask me to give input on what he's wearing/tell him if I don't like something and he'll change. Nah I'm good, that's futile lmao.

Im really digging him so far and I do hope that he's digging me, too. I'm trying to properly read everything while still opening up. I wonder if I'm doing a good job? I guess we'll see...
 
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