*-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-*

Plushottie said:
@GraceJones

My two cents
Happiness is a choice of decisions. It’s letting go of beliefs that are hyper polarizing ie bad/good. Having little experience isn’t negative less comparison like oh guy x had bigger xyz vs the current. That doesn’t help anyone.

How you see you is huge and bdays always push reflection. Also a huge point old dude being mean in breaking up w you may have stung but he did you a solid bc it removed unearned access. See he knew what was and is about him and men do not like getting easy. Yes you may think if I lower myself respect then more will come but it just brings energetic misalignment and pest.

I know your journey is on your own but if you can slowly met yourself w love then it’s what will be your life.

I have mentioned before my dating history and my journey. I had expectations and tried to do all the outward stuff but honestly the inner is key. Looking at others is not good bc you don’t know what is truly real as people lie to save face and to have their egos stroked. People enjoy being dawned over which is a bad wig trying to cover up issues. The more time we spend trying to cover up insecurity the more it downgrades us.

We are infinitely an expression of love. It’s hard to see that but it’s what you should pour into. What life do you want to bring forth?
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Don’t understand what this sentence is saying.

The other girl apparently asked him for a relationship so apparently being easy is working for other women.

I just want to be happy. I thought that would include marriage and children but now that seems unlikely. I’m not sure what my life would look like otherwise.
 
GraceJones said:
Don’t understand what this sentence is saying.

The other girl apparently asked him for a relationship so apparently being easy is working for other women.

I just want to be happy. I thought that would include marriage and children but now that seems unlikely. I’m not sure what my life would look like otherwise.
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He knew he could not be what you needed. He prob knows he lacks drive, ambition as you are making moves and he isn’t. Seeing you move with goals prob made him feel mad so instead of processing that he was mean to you. That nothing more than a projection like some get mad that they aren’t doing and deep down a man will not be comfy or grounded in his manhood if he isn’t bringing it.

I will share this little bit about my engagement and I normally don’t as I don’t want anyone to be activated aka triggered.

When I was engaged I was around 19-21. I was driven came from nothing and believed I could achieve anything. The guy was 24, warehouse job, hs school only- no attempts to go to school, no drivers license -was content with being on the bus. Apartment wasn’t in a good area -I often got approached by wayward men as it was a known area for sex work.

With in a few months I turned that place for the better, was in community college bc my gpa wasn’t great in hs bc I juggled working and school. I didn’t know how to drive but got my permit within 2 weeks money was the only thing stopping me. Then got lessons to drive. Once that happened the physical abuse kicked in badly. Then the infidelity. One of the last calls that was civil he told me my success made him feel less than a man but he felt good seeing me on the ground after being hit.

He was mean and nasty toward me bc I was too much and the fact that I wasn’t holding him accountable by removing myself allowed his rage to come out.

Your ex did you a favor he was nasty to you so you would go away all your brilliance was too much. You may not think highly of yourself yet but you are brilliant. That causes those sneers and rudeness. It’s not fun but do not lower yourself as that’s not ok.

One of the biggest callouts from my sacred femininity course was the role of the feminine is to be discriminate so things that are not good can be destroyed and remade. Lowering or being easy does nothing but allow weak things to grow which suck the life out of things that are good.
 
My friend is tripping but she’s not tripping. I understand 100% where she’s coming from because there are days, I trip too Lolol.


We’re coming up on 6 months soon. He better not act up before then.
 
For those who may entertain a relationship is there any self development/life enrichment you have done or doing? I’m just curious as I know life doesn’t stop because one isn’t coupled. I know if my younger yrs I only felt like putting time into my looks if there was a outcome desired around being seen now that I’m not visible it’s made me look at everything like is this of you or still some last ditch yet not aligned effort to be seen.
 
Plushottie said:
For those who may entertain a relationship is there any self development/life enrichment you have done or doing?
Click to expand...

That's a great question.
I found that while I'm coupled up in love it's like I put alot of my own goals to the side... and im available for all the adventures my partner has for us.

I get lost in that ish. But I want different the next love story.

Before- I recognized that I was always available for what everyone wanted to do.

Example- Friend says "Lets do happy hour tomorrow"..,
I'm like- what time?
Even if I knew I had other things I could spend my time/ energy on. Even if that just meant resting at home bc I did not feel like doing Happy hour.

I'm working on just being during this single season. Leaning into ME.
What subjects interest me? What brings me joy? Me me me me. Lol.
 
yaya24 said:
That's a great question.
I found that while I'm coupled up in love it's like I put alot of my own goals to the side... and im available for all the adventures my partner has for us.

I get lost in that ish. But I want different the next love story.

Before- I recognized that I was always available for what everyone wanted to do.

Example- Friend says "Lets do happy hour tomorrow"..,
I'm like- what time?
Even if I knew I had other things I could spend my time/ energy on. Even if that just meant resting at home bc I did not feel like doing Happy hour.

I'm working on just being during this single season. Leaning into ME.
What subjects interest me? What brings me joy? Me me me me. Lol.
Click to expand...
I love this and it’s kinda normal. Like some women catch flack if they invest in self if they have a man. But like your a person and having your me helps we. It also keeps enmeshment down as well.
 
yaya24 said:
That's a great question.
I found that while I'm coupled up in love it's like I put alot of my own goals to the side... and im available for all the adventures my partner has for us.

I get lost in that ish. But I want different the next love story.

Before- I recognized that I was always available for what everyone wanted to do.

Example- Friend says "Lets do happy hour tomorrow"..,
I'm like- what time?
Even if I knew I had other things I could spend my time/ energy on. Even if that just meant resting at home bc I did not feel like doing Happy hour.

I'm working on just being during this single season. Leaning into ME.
What subjects interest me? What brings me joy? Me me me me. Lol.
Click to expand...
I find that investing in my education helps me. If I ever find someone, I know I will be able to fully depend on myself and not on someone else.

I do things that I like but what helps is that I'm open to trying new things. I try not to limit myself.

I also realize that I prefer experiences over stuff. I did so much last year on my own that I was really proud of. The main thing that really did it for me was when I got my license last year, just a few days before my birthday. I never thought I was gonna get it.

Now with school, I try to stay as disciplined as possible. Sometimes I feel defeated but I need to keep my end goal I'm mind: passing all my prereqs for nursing school.
 
I hope this doesn’t derail or cause any eye roll. I just have to share how happy I am pouring into self. I have very high standards for self and even with my depressive periods lately doing little things like using my 5 min journal, sipping tea as I have become caffeine sensitive, doing my hair stuff lol. I am not where I desired at my age but I can see the growth. Just thought I share.
 
Plushottie said:
What made this magical for you? What kind you get? Yes I’m being nosey and this my type of joy.
Click to expand...

My youngest sister works as a Sr. tech recruiter for Google (she was formerly with AWS) & she decided in 2022 to go to esthetician school. She knew that long term she wants be done with corporate and do something she loves as a business owner (following her siblings footsteps).

Well she opened her skin studio late May this year (its sooo zen in there).. and she started taking clients last week.

She's been booked & busy every day since she opened.

She still works for Google & enjoys tech recruiting, but after work she's at her suite.

While she was in school I went in a couple of times for her practice hours, but she's doing it for real now - and she is doing an amazing job.

I'm a proud big sister ♡

She offers 3 options for services. I picked the most expensive one bc I wanted it..I'm all about my skin, but Im picky about who touches it lol.

The facial I got today:1000029258.jpg
 
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Plushottie said:
Yall all found boo’s? Where is everyone? Or yall on trips to Italy or the Ivory Coast?
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nope. I'm still living my best single bachelorette life.

I'm nowhere near ready to date

no trips yet for me. I narrowed down the type of car I want. I either want a Subaru Crosstrek or the Toyota Rav4.

I'll be working this summer to continue to save for my down payment.

Took a mental health day off from work today. Needed time to rest. I'm exhausted.
 
CoiledOrchids said:
nope. I'm still living my best single bachelorette life.

I'm nowhere near ready to date

no trips yet for me. I narrowed down the type of car I want. I either want a Subaru Crosstrek or the Toyota Rav4.

I'll be working this summer to continue to save for my down payment.

Took a mental health day off from work today. Needed time to rest. I'm exhausted.
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I’m glad you’re enjoying it and you give me that outdoorsy vibe car wise. And kudos for taking time because honestly it’s not easy.
 
Plushottie said:
I’m glad you’re enjoying it and you give me that outdoorsy vibe car wise. And kudos for taking time because honestly it’s not easy.
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yeah I can kinda see that. Subarus give me that kinda vibe for sure. It's never easy for me to take time for myself. I'm learning now that it's okay to do so.

i'm excited for summer to start. What are your plans for the summer?
 
CoiledOrchids said:
yeah I can kinda see that. Subarus give me that kinda vibe for sure. It's never easy for me to take time for myself. I'm learning now that it's okay to do so.

i'm excited for summer to start. What are your plans for the summer?
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It’s very much hard esp as your becoming a np like these helping fields don’t support self care unless you have that as a muscle. I know during my foundation field placement I had to go take a bath or go do something quiet bc I was feeling extra spent.

I will be in my house. It’s hot and travel as much as I like the idea of it isn’t my jam unless it’s something luxe. I may do a staycation but it will double as a content creation day lol. I’m back to carrying bug spray every where I go.
 
Plushottie said:
It’s very much hard esp as your becoming a np like these helping fields don’t support self care unless you have that as a muscle. I know during my foundation field placement I had to go take a bath or go do something quiet bc I was feeling extra spent.

I will be in my house. It’s hot and travel as much as I like the idea of it isn’t my jam unless it’s something luxe. I may do a staycation but it will double as a content creation day lol. I’m back to carrying bug spray every where I go.
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I feel you. I'll be working full time and taking summer classes. I'm hoping i'll get a chance to go horseback riding this summer, too:cowgirl:
 
PatDM'T said:
Someone showed me
this exchange :barf:

View attachment 496985

These negroes are
not even trying.
I see why ladies
are better off
taking themselves
on solo dates.
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I’m trying not to curse as this is a christian lite site but standards are 6ft under. As so many women are insecure which is by design and men are becoming more docile which is also by design this no effort will be a thing, it will take more women saying nope and block.
 
Plushottie said:
I’m trying not to curse as this is a christian lite site but standards are 6ft under. As so many women are insecure which is by design and men are becoming more docile which is also by design this no effort will be a thing, it will take more women saying nope and block.
Click to expand...
it's a permanent block for me. Men really have the audacity to write crap like this. I would never in a million years entertain anything like this.

Why do men think we owe them sex if we go on a date with them? I've experienced this years ago and in high school. I'm glad I refused to do anything. I respect myself way too much for any of this.

I have faith that one day the right person will find me and make me glad to realize I never settled for less.

and on a side note, Chili and Matthew Lawrence are cute together. I'm glad to see they are still going strong
 
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