Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!
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bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
So... the musician that I told yall about a few weeks ago has been looking me in my face and saying hello and staring.... but that is it. Boy, bye.
Granted, I run out of the church house as fast as I can after service
.
Other than that... it has been dry, dry, DRY!
I was in another city over the weekend with my cousin and the men were oogling... one had the nerve to tell me I was beautiful, but didn't ask for my number. Another was with his girlfriend and said that I smell so good and he had been wanting to tell me all night. At dinner one night at Dennys the men at the table behind us paid for our dinner. The one in my eye shot eyed me all night and when they left they paid for our dinner but that was it.
It's like they will stare you down, compliment you all night, but that's it. That's where it ends.
I have to laugh because I told God about 2 years ago that I didn't want to entertain any one that wasn't the one. Hunty, when I tell you it has been dryyyyyy. I mean, I don't even have a male friend to talk to. Not. One. Single. Male. Friend. Geez. The ones I used to have are doing their own thing.
I said all of that to say that I will keep trusting and waiting. God is intentional.
Granted, I run out of the church house as fast as I can after service
. Other than that... it has been dry, dry, DRY!
I was in another city over the weekend with my cousin and the men were oogling... one had the nerve to tell me I was beautiful, but didn't ask for my number. Another was with his girlfriend and said that I smell so good and he had been wanting to tell me all night. At dinner one night at Dennys the men at the table behind us paid for our dinner. The one in my eye shot eyed me all night and when they left they paid for our dinner but that was it.
It's like they will stare you down, compliment you all night, but that's it. That's where it ends.
I have to laugh because I told God about 2 years ago that I didn't want to entertain any one that wasn't the one. Hunty, when I tell you it has been dryyyyyy. I mean, I don't even have a male friend to talk to. Not. One. Single. Male. Friend. Geez. The ones I used to have are doing their own thing. I said all of that to say that I will keep trusting and waiting. God is intentional.
movingforward
Moving forward and onward
So... the musician that I told yall about a few weeks ago has been looking me in my face and saying hello and staring.... but that is it. Boy, bye.
Granted, I run out of the church house as fast as I can after service
Other than that... it has been dry, dry, DRY!
I was in another city over the weekend with my cousin and the men were oogling... one had the nerve to tell me I was beautiful, but didn't ask for my number. Another was with his girlfriend and said that I smell so good and he had been wanting to tell me all night. At dinner one night at Dennys the men at the table behind us paid for our dinner. The one in my eye shot eyed me all night and when they left they paid for our dinner but that was it.
It's like they will stare you down, compliment you all night, but that's it. That's where it ends.
I said all of that to say that I will keep trusting and waiting. God is intentional.
Girl I made the same declaration to God almost 10 years ago.....and Im still waiting and trusting. I JUST GOT a male friend about a year ago. But I reallly wouldnt call him a friend.
But I look on the bright side and realize Im not nursing any heartaches, disappointments and I can be as selfish as I want, because its just me and God.
Although, Im over the waiting period.
bellatiamarie
Well-Known Member
This is so true. I see some of the stuff some women go through and instantly thank God for this single season. I am not the one. I guess that's why I'm still single
but I'd rather be here than dealing with the heartache and heart break. No thanks!
TrueSugar
Well-Known Member
I really need this today, thanks for posting it.
TrueSugar
Well-Known Member
I really love the idea of a friend as a prospect, but we both have a lot of growing to do. I love that he values our friendship and that we can be honest about the possibility. I don’t think that I have very felt safer with another man, not family, or people I have been in a relationship with. I trust that if this is a taste of what G-d has for me it will be worth the wait.
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
Congratulations! Hope you'll share your story with us.
futureapl
Well-Known Member
Thank you! About a year ago I joined Christian Mingle. I was crying out to God and telling Him about how lonely I felt. I had a dream I cant remember if it was that same day or days later I went to sleep and saw a random sheet of paper with a name on it. I wasn't sure what it meant. I wake up and randomly receive a message on Christian Mingle from a guy asking if I accidentally visited his page. I kid you not I don't even remember visiting his page. We were messaging each other back and forth and come to find out he had the same name that was in my dream.
futureapl
Well-Known Member
When we met for the first time it was crazy how we had experienced some of the same things in life. He was talking to me about His love of God and his experience of being filled with the Holy Ghost. It was the first date I had ever been on where we had a Bible study on our first date. We became good friends. I knew I was developing feelings for him but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way. I was constantly praying to God about him and asking God to make things very clear to me, yim, and our pastor regarding where He wanted our relationship to go. Every time I would become impatient God would send me a dream with him in it.
futureapl
Well-Known Member
Come to find out he had had a few conversations with our pastor about me. We eventually started dating and I could see that God was revealing the same things to him that he had been revealing to me. One day he calls me and told me that he wanted to cook for me the coming weekend. That Saturday comes and he asks me to meet him at the beach. When I arrived he had set up a picnic and had cooked salmon, tuna steak, roasted potatoes, green beans, and carrots everything was delicious. He had music playing in the background and we had a great conversation. He even bought me a journal (I take notes at church and that previous Sunday I had reached the last page of my journal. ). We sat by the water and he went to grab a blanket from the bushes and came back with the blanket and a bag. I turned around to open my gift and when I turned back around he was on one knee asking me to marry him.
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
mscurly
Well-Known Member
@futureapl that's beautiful thanks for sharing your story. It gives me hope which I really need right now
@movingforward how in the world have you been waiting 10 years?? You are so brave and patient. I've been waiting for many years although not that long and it's starting to feel like it's never going to happen for me.
@movingforward how in the world have you been waiting 10 years?? You are so brave and patient. I've been waiting for many years although not that long and it's starting to feel like it's never going to happen for me.
movingforward
Moving forward and onward
@movingforward how in the world have you been waiting 10 years?? You are so brave and patient. I've been waiting for many years although not that long and it's starting to feel like it's never going to happen for me.[/QUOTE]
It's hard. Even harder to practice abstinence on top of that. I realized that I'll be 40 next month and I spent my 30s without a relationship (or bedroom activities). Additionally I'm passed the Christian catch phrases about waiting etc.
So I'm proactively putting myself out there everyone knows that I'm looking. Plus I made realistic things I want in my relationship.
I plan to get married by 45.
It's hard. Even harder to practice abstinence on top of that. I realized that I'll be 40 next month and I spent my 30s without a relationship (or bedroom activities). Additionally I'm passed the Christian catch phrases about waiting etc.
So I'm proactively putting myself out there everyone knows that I'm looking. Plus I made realistic things I want in my relationship.
I plan to get married by 45.
beingofserenity
Well-Known Member
I was having a tough day with someone that I care for. And then I randomly met someone elsr who put a smile on my face and lifted my spirits. I
It's hard. Even harder to practice abstinence on top of that. I realized that I'll be 40 next month and I spent my 30s without a relationship (or bedroom activities). Additionally I'm passed the Christian catch phrases about waiting etc.
So I'm proactively putting myself out there everyone knows that I'm looking. Plus I made realistic things I want in my relationship.
I plan to get married by 45.[/QUOTE]
You got it! I think its important to be out and about and also to always cute because you never know when or who you'll meet. Yesterday I metthis cute guy at the bank and even though I was wearing a scarf on my head (deep conditioning), I was like thank God I at least wore makeup and cute clothes.
Do you have children?
It's hard. Even harder to practice abstinence on top of that. I realized that I'll be 40 next month and I spent my 30s without a relationship (or bedroom activities). Additionally I'm passed the Christian catch phrases about waiting etc.
So I'm proactively putting myself out there everyone knows that I'm looking. Plus I made realistic things I want in my relationship.
I plan to get married by 45.[/QUOTE]
You got it! I think its important to be out and about and also to always cute because you never know when or who you'll meet. Yesterday I metthis cute guy at the bank and even though I was wearing a scarf on my head (deep conditioning), I was like thank God I at least wore makeup and cute clothes.
Do you have children?
mscurly
Well-Known Member
It's hard. Even harder to practice abstinence on top of that. I realized that I'll be 40 next month and I spent my 30s without a relationship (or bedroom activities). Additionally I'm passed the Christian catch phrases about waiting etc.
So I'm proactively putting myself out there everyone knows that I'm looking. Plus I made realistic things I want in my relationship.
I plan to get married by 45.[/QUOTE]
Would you say that you weren't actively looking until now?
I'm starting to feel like maybe that's my problem....I been just sitting around waiting for some guy to show up
movingforward
Moving forward and onward
@beingofserenity No I dont have any children. Which is another regret of mine, although women are having babies at my age. I go back and forth about having children.
@mscurly I had a really bad breakup at 28 and I would say i needed a little over 5 or 6 years just to reset myself and be ok. But I was open to the idea of being in a relationship. There wasn't anyone around that was of interest to me. Which caused me to sit around and think this "great guy" was going to fall into my lap. Or come riding on his white horse completely ready to marry me. Not real life.
So I spent the last few years bettering myself. My dress, mannerisms, outward appearance, etc. Now Im working on my body. Im doing all of this for me, not to catch a guy.
But my work is paying off and it's being noticed by men. Im talking to a guy now that I met at the post office. Will something come of it.....NOPE! Holy Spirit already told me what he wanted. But I do believe he is going to be a good friend and Im learning how to converse with men and be ok, if the guy doesn't like me.
Sorry for the dissertation but I realized Im good being me and sooner or later the right guy will come along. Until then.....Im not waiting.....Im participating in allowing my FH to find me while I live my life.
@mscurly I had a really bad breakup at 28 and I would say i needed a little over 5 or 6 years just to reset myself and be ok. But I was open to the idea of being in a relationship. There wasn't anyone around that was of interest to me. Which caused me to sit around and think this "great guy" was going to fall into my lap. Or come riding on his white horse completely ready to marry me. Not real life.
So I spent the last few years bettering myself. My dress, mannerisms, outward appearance, etc. Now Im working on my body. Im doing all of this for me, not to catch a guy.
But my work is paying off and it's being noticed by men. Im talking to a guy now that I met at the post office. Will something come of it.....NOPE! Holy Spirit already told me what he wanted. But I do believe he is going to be a good friend and Im learning how to converse with men and be ok, if the guy doesn't like me.
Sorry for the dissertation but I realized Im good being me and sooner or later the right guy will come along. Until then.....Im not waiting.....Im participating in allowing my FH to find me while I live my life.
mscurly
Well-Known Member
[QUOTE There wasn't anyone around that was of interest to me. Which caused me to sit around and think this "great guy" was going to fall into my lap. Or come riding on his white horse completely ready to marry me. Not real life.
[/QUOTE]
@movingforward
The bold really stood out to me because I feel like we as single Christian women do sit around and wait for some guy to show up. But now I'm beginning to think that that mentally is what makes you end up single.
Although I do think that some women are directed from God to wait or have heard the promise of God that their husband would come at a certain time. I however cannot say God has instructed me that way so I can no longer wait around for this magically guy to wind up on my door step.
[/QUOTE]
@movingforward
The bold really stood out to me because I feel like we as single Christian women do sit around and wait for some guy to show up. But now I'm beginning to think that that mentally is what makes you end up single.
Although I do think that some women are directed from God to wait or have heard the promise of God that their husband would come at a certain time. I however cannot say God has instructed me that way so I can no longer wait around for this magically guy to wind up on my door step.
Lucia
Well-Known Member
Congrats! Beautiful engagement story.
Lucia
Well-Known Member
You know this past year has been ups and downs but I have really made it my priority to allow Jesus to work in every area of my life.i used to compartmentalize this part is for God but this I do on my own. Well that didn't turn out well at all for me.
I've always been one to keep on living and always try to look cute everywhere I go especially to outing a and functions. I'm not going to chase a guy but I don't hide myself away either. I still try to participate in hobbies I like. I'm still single but I'm in a different head space with it it does t bother me like it used to. Do I sometimes ask God where is he? Yes I'm human it's pretty the desert over here but I'm sound my part working on myself healing learning growing so I can be the woman God wanted me to be. Of course with all
that I won't be going it alone this time. I'm waiting in God for the next one.
Isaiah 55:11
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thingfor which I sent it.
I've always been one to keep on living and always try to look cute everywhere I go especially to outing a and functions. I'm not going to chase a guy but I don't hide myself away either. I still try to participate in hobbies I like. I'm still single but I'm in a different head space with it it does t bother me like it used to. Do I sometimes ask God where is he? Yes I'm human it's pretty the desert over here but I'm sound my part working on myself healing learning growing so I can be the woman God wanted me to be. Of course with all
that I won't be going it alone this time. I'm waiting in God for the next one.
Isaiah 55:11
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thingfor which I sent it.
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Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
As Pastor Evans said in his video this is an example of love before first sight. True heroic sacrificial love. Wow.
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
Why don't Christian men pursue their Christian sisters?
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Though we are a 'set apart' community, a lot of us are influenced by the general culture. And quite frankly what we see in the general culture is frightening, to the point that it puts everyone on guard.
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
This book y'all.
THIS BOOK!
This man broke down how relationships should progress.
It was a beautiful book and I know it's the ideal, but THIS is what I want. *sigh*
https://www.amazon.com/Wait-See-Finding-Peace-Pauses/dp/0781413559
This book really helped me. I hope it will help someone too.
This book really helped me. I hope it will help someone too.
movingforward
Moving forward and onward
Agreed. As much as men want a "good Christian woman" they really want a bad girl. Christian women have this stigma(s) that we are boring, extremely chaste, etc. Depending on the man, its hard to break away from those stigmas, until he reaches a point of maturity.
I turned 40 a few days ago and I have thought long and hard about my single status. Do I believe I will get married in my 40s.....yes. Don't know how or when, I just know. But I'm no longer going to limit my dating life and examine and cross examine to see if this guy is "marriage material". I will know and I will just enjoy the time (not in a relationship) with the guy until a better prospect comes along.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Oh yes! I am very popular among 50 year olds, I wish men my age would feel the same about me but alas. Anyhoo, right now I am trying to prepare financially for prolonged singleness.
kanozas
se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón
I am not making light of your dilemma but that was humorous and made me laugh.
________________________________________________________
Question: Are the ladies here broadening the potential pool of men to include people not in your cultural/racial or denominational circle, if possible?
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