Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

Maracujá said:
You are unique, there is no one else in the world that is like you. That's why when someone truly falls in love with you (and not your type), you have nothing to worry about. Because you are on a league of your own, you have no competition. - Pastor T.D. Jakes
Click to expand...

This is an awesome quote. It reminds me of Psalm 139:14

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
 


Courtship series


Now she talks about social media and I have to vent about this. :computer:

Social media has done more to create, instigate and magnify insecurities than regular media ever could.
Why? Because when we see some woman on the cover of a magazine we know she's got a beauty team and stylists wigs weaves lighting and camera angles to make her look her best then on top of that there's air brushing.
Tv and movies we know that those stores are about fictional characters it's the fantasy, a fairytale that always gets conveniently resolved at the end of the episode/movie.
Now when we as people we know in real life who are regular people and they have their seemingly "perfect lives" , edited and polished for any type of social media. We don't see the struggle, the hardships the real deal on the nuts and bolts of their relationship.

GF that's been living with her BF shaking up for years will always post them having fun everywhere but home. Then you see the proposal pics the smiles the ring. She'll never keep it real and post how many times she's had to drop hints or give ultimatums either threatening to leave or pressure tactics of getting pregnant and using that as leverage. And vice versa men can use these tactics too but most of the time it's women selling themselves short.

I'm not giving the men a pass cause he should have known better too.
He too will never post anything but the edited all fun and smiles of their relationship. I don't think they should be posting every little event or thing really it's too much info I don't need to see or hear unless I'm family or your BFF or something.

Or the man or woman who always has a new boo and changes them as often as they change their shirts.

The money lovers who are always showing off ther new luxury car condo Louboutin purchase, etc.

It's like advertising for Satan hey look we live in sin or do whatever we want and everything's coming up roses.

With that said we really need to check ourselves when checking friends and celeb accounts and remember nobody's life is the perfect fairytale their trying to make it seem. Now I'm not saying their aren't some genuinely content and happy people out there there are but everybody has ups and downs we should keep that present in our minds when viewing SM and maintain things in perspective.
 
Last edited:
There is SO MUCH FRUIT in the story of Ruth and Boaz. I think people misinterpret the uncovering of Boaz's feet and see it as Ruth pursuing Boaz, but she was really responding to his interest (that he had already expressed honorably albeit subtly). Ruth was actually being obedient to her mother in law and showed a profound act of femininity/humility when she uncovered his feet and essentially revealed to him that she was open to his pursuit. He stepped into his masculine and settled the matter the next day. Any thoughts on this?
 
Belle Du Jour said:
There is SO MUCH FRUIT in the story of Ruth and Boaz. I think people misinterpret the uncovering of Boaz's feet and see it as Ruth pursuing Boaz, but she was really responding to his interest (that he had already expressed honorably albeit subtly). Ruth was actually being obedient to her mother in law and showed a profound act of femininity/humility when she uncovered his feet and essentially revealed to him that she was open to his pursuit. He stepped into his masculine and settled the matter the next day. Any thoughts on this?
Click to expand...

How this different from the situation @mscurly presented? Ruth was very forward with her approach. So much so that Boaz even commented, "No one must know that a woman came to the threshing floor."

I'm not saying it's bad, because I don't see anything wrong with a woman showing interest. Men aren't mind readers. However, where is the line drawn for said interest? I think Ruth was very bold to approach Boaz at the threshing floor, given the fact that women weren't supposed to be there. Ultimately Boaz took the next step in the relationship. Isn't that what we as ladies in waiting want?
 
Divine. said:
How this different from the situation @mscurly presented? Ruth was very forward with her approach. So much so that Boaz even commented, "No one must know that a woman came to the threshing floor."

I'm not saying it's bad, because I don't see anything wrong with a woman showing interest. Men aren't mind readers. However, where is the line drawn for said interest? I think Ruth was very bold to approach Boaz at the threshing floor, given the fact that women weren't supposed to be there. Ultimately Boaz took the next step in the relationship. Isn't that what we as ladies in waiting want?
Click to expand...

I read an interpretation that explains the threshing floor in the Jewish context and that what Ruth did was not considered a bold move or pursuing. I will try to find that commentary/ scripture study.

ETA:
http://setapartgirl.com/magazine/article/11-13-13/ruth
http://www.boundless.org/advice/2014/if-ruth-pursued-boaz-why-cant-i-pursue-a-guy
https://singlefor1.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/question-of-the-week-did-ruth-force-herself-on-boaz/
 
Last edited:
@Belle Du Jour @Divine.

In terms of my situation, I'm not pursuing said man. This man already expressed interest and I am reacting or responding to that interest.

If he had never acknowledged me or showed any signs of interest I would NOT have said anything.

In the story of Ruth and Boaz however it was initiated ultimately their union was led by God which I believe is the most important thing. Both have to be led by His spirit in the relationship.
 
mscurly said:
@Belle Du Jour @Divine.

In terms of my situation, I'm not pursuing said man. This man already expressed interest and I am reacting or responding to that interest.

If he had never acknowledged me or showed any signs of interest I would NOT have said anything.

In the story of Ruth and Boaz however it was initiated ultimately their union was led by God which I believe is the most important thing. Both have to be led by His spirit in the relationship.
Click to expand...

This is SO true. God knows what He's doing. Sometimes He asks us to do things outside of our comfort zone. I don't believe He would ask His daughter to pursue a man, but He might ask us to make ourselves vulnerable or exposed (like Ruth on the threshing floor) to accomplish His will.
 
mscurly said:
@Belle Du Jour @Divine.

In terms of my situation, I'm not pursuing said man. This man already expressed interest and I am reacting or responding to that interest.

If he had never acknowledged me or showed any signs of interest I would NOT have said anything.

In the story of Ruth and Boaz however it was initiated ultimately their union was led by God which I believe is the most important thing. Both have to be led by His spirit in the relationship.
Click to expand...

This is exactly what I mean. The interest was already there. Ruth made herself available, but ultimately, Boaz did all the pursuing.
 
Divine. said:
This is exactly what I mean. The interest was already there. Ruth made herself available, but ultimately, Boaz did all the pursuing.
Click to expand...

He really did! He inquired about her and was impressed by her. He tried to protect her and provided for her. But note, he didn't immediately try to claim her. I wonder, he must have known about the family connection and that he could redeem her because he already knew that there was someone who had the right to claim her first. So I think he had already thought about the possibility. Why didn't he act? Why did Ruth have to make herself vulnerable? I don't know if we can answer those questions but I think they are interesting to think about. All I know if Ruth was guided by Naomi and walked by faith into her destiny (which includes the lineage of Christ!). I think sometimes we can be too nitpicky about a man's pursuit. Pursuit doesn't just look one way. A man could be praying about you or waiting on some sign of interest from you or even waiting for confirmation that only the Holy Spirit can provide. It is so important to listen for that still small voice.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
He really did! He inquired about her and was impressed by her. He tried to protect her and provided for her. But note, he didn't immediately try to claim her. I think sometimes we can be too nitpicky about a man's pursuit. Pursuit doesn't just look one way. A man could be praying about you or waiting on some sign of interest from you or even waiting for confirmation that only the Holy Spirit can provide. It is so important to listen for that still small voice.
Click to expand...


I agree with the bolded completely. Especially when you are dealing with a Godly man. Men of God aren't going to pursue the same way a worldly man does. The man could really be fasting, praying and waiting on confirmation from the Holy Spirit. We don't know what he's doing in his alone time with God.

That's why I think as women we should also stay in prayer about a situation as well. The Lord is not going to steer you wrong. That's why I've remained in prayer before acting on my own accord.
 
I turned 31 about two weeks ago and decided to study Proverbs 31 for an entire year. This morning I did some research on the meaning of the ruby stone and apparently it stands for faithful, passionate love and closeness to a spouse (among many other things). It also only comes second to diamonds! And our worth as women is above that!
 
Belle Du Jour said:
He really did! He inquired about her and was impressed by her. He tried to protect her and provided for her. But note, he didn't immediately try to claim her. I wonder, he must have known about the family connection and that he could redeem her because he already knew that there was someone who had the right to claim her first. So I think he had already thought about the possibility. Why didn't he act? Why did Ruth have to make herself vulnerable? I don't know if we can answer those questions but I think they are interesting to think about. All I know if Ruth was guided by Naomi and walked by faith into her destiny (which includes the lineage of Christ!). I think sometimes we can be too nitpicky about a man's pursuit. Pursuit doesn't just look one way. A man could be praying about you or waiting on some sign of interest from you or even waiting for confirmation that only the Holy Spirit can provide. It is so important to listen for that still small voice.
Click to expand...

Yes @ bolded another good point.

Now regarding Boaz claiming Naomi

I think it's because another kinsmen was ahead of Boaz that he had to act prudently but he could only act if his interest was reciprocated. Naomi knew that and knew the law so that's why she instructed Ruth on what to do. Boaz could not just lay claim to Ruth with out making sure she would be receptive to him because he is a gentleman (have I not charged the young men not to touch you? Ruth 2:8-9) a godly man, and he is an elder and could not loose face and it would be a betrayal of his kinsmen and fellow elder a great disrespect.
---

Ruth 3:10-13

10 And he said, “May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich.
11 And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you ask, for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman.12 And now it is true that I am a redeemer. Yet there is a redeemer nearer than I.13 Remain tonight, and in the morning, if he will redeem you, good; let him do it. But if he is not willing to redeem you, then, as the Lord lives, I will redeem you.

Ruth 4 1-6

4 Now Boaz had gone up to the gate and sat down there. And behold, the redeemer, of whom Boaz had spoken, came by. So Boaz said, “Turn aside, friend; sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down.2 And he took ten men of the elders of the city and said, “Sit down here.” So they sat down.3 Then he said to the redeemer, “Naomi, who has come back from the country of Moab, is selling the parcel of land that belonged to our relative Elimelech.4 So I thought I would tell you of it and say, ‘Buy it in the presence of those sitting here and in the presence of the elders of my people.’ If you will redeem it, redeem it. But if you[a] will not, tell me, that I may know, for there is no one besides you to redeem it, and I come after you.” And he said, “I will redeem it.”5 Then Boaz said, “The day you buy the field from the hand of Naomi, you also acquire Ruth[b]the Moabite, the widow of the dead, in order to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance.”6 Then the redeemer said, “I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own inheritance. Take my right of redemption yourself, for I cannot redeem it.

----
Notice he had to inform him of his rights to the land and to Ruth before 10 other elders and once he refused the claim Boaz could then proceed to claim Ruth as his own.
 
Last edited:
mscurly said:
I agree with the bolded completely. Especially when you are dealing with a Godly man. Men of God aren't going to pursue the same way a worldly man does. The man could really be fasting, praying and waiting on confirmation from the Holy Spirit. We don't know what he's doing in his alone time with God.

That's why I think as women we should also stay in prayer about a situation as well. The Lord is not going to steer you wrong. That's why I've remained in prayer before acting on my own accord.
Click to expand...

Yes good point
 
So I was having a conversation with my SO about the roles of males and females in relationships and marriages. I was letting him know that when it comes to relationships and marriages that I am old school. I feel as though the man is the head of the household, he is to be the provider and protector of his family and household. That is what is what the Word says. And he was saying that if the man is breadwinner and his job is better than the woman's then he can see that. And that times have changed and now women are getting better jobs so old rules have to be revised. I was telling him that I am not a man, have no desire to be one, and don't want to take on the role of man. That men and women were created differently for two different purposes for a reason. We may be on a team, but even team mates have two different positions. After the conversation I shared some scripture with him on the matter.
 
mz.rae said:
So I was having a conversation with my SO about the roles of males and females in relationships and marriages. I was letting him know that when it comes to relationships and marriages that I am old school. I feel as though the man is the head of the household, he is to be the provider and protector of his family and household. That is what is what the Word says. And he was saying that if the man is breadwinner and his job is better than the woman's then he can see that. And that times have changed and now women are getting better jobs so old rules have to be revised. I was telling him that I am not a man, have no desire to be one, and don't want to take on the role of man. That men and women were created differently for two different purposes for a reason. We may be on a team, but even team mates have two different positions. After the conversation I shared some scripture with him on the matter.
Click to expand...

If you think it will help Maybe have him listen to this lecture and q and a and then see what he thinks about men's gender roles and he calls men out on their bolony.







I've always wanted to know how do stay at home dads and working mom works when it's time to have kids I mean what does she take a day off and then jump back into work?
I just wonder how do they swing it and does the man ever really feel fulfilled as a man and how does or will the absence of mom and feminine softness affect the kids?
There's a lot to consider when you go against what God has ordained the far reaching consequences and outcomes we mostly don't even know. I'm just putting it out there.
 
Last edited:
Lucia said:
If you think it will help Maybe have him listen to this lecture and q and a and then see what he thinks about men's gender roles and he calls men out on their bolony.







I've always wanted to know how do stay at home dads and working mom works when it's time to have kids I mean what does she take a day off and then jump back into work?
I just wonder how do they swing it and does the man ever really feel fulfilled as a man and how does or will the absence of mom and feminine softness affect the kids?
There's a lot to consider when you go against what God has ordained the far reaching consequences and outcomes we mostly don't even know. I'm just putting it out there.
Click to expand...

Thank you for posting these!!! He had a lot of good information in the video. I shared the first one with my SO. I'm going to check out the Q&A video and share that with him also.
 
http://marriagemissions.com/making-a-good-choice-or-a-god-choice/

Love this quote from the article:
In his popular workbook, Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby suggests we “find out where God is working and join Him there.” We, on the other hand, are more likely to say, “God, here’s the person I want to marry. Will You bless us?” The difference is the approach. One approach puts God at the center while the other puts ourselves at the center. When we make choices independent of God and then ask for His blessing, we’re asking God to approve an idea that originated with us, not Him.

Throughout Scripture, God always takes the initiative. He sets the agenda. “We adjust our lives to God so He can do through us what He wants to do,” says Blackaby. “God is not our servant to make adjustments to our plans. We are His servants and we adjust our lives to what He is about to do.”
 
"Waiting is not an act of passivity. Your single life in God shouldn’t feel like the equivalent of waiting in a doctor’s office. Waiting in God is about growth, movement, and endurance.

If you’re waiting the correct way, you’re growing in God daily. You’re passing tests.

You’re seeking His face for hours. You’re meditating on scriptures. You’re enduring spiritual warfare like a strong soldier.

You’re doing the best you can to become a better you than the day before."

http://jordonewrites.com/2015/06/03/how-to-wait-on-god-for-your-future-husband/
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

N
Single Christian Women's Support Thread
28 29 30
Replies
898
Views
165K
Phoenix14
Phoenix14
poetist
Ideas for Christian Women's Group
Replies
4
Views
7K
dreamer26
D
tmichelle
  • Poll Poll
Single Christian women are you looking only for black men?
3 4 5
Replies
121
Views
17K
pink219
pink219
Kinkyhairlady
Christian men in the club…
2
Replies
59
Views
9K
Shimmie
Shimmie
NicBenny
Christian Albums?
Replies
11
Views
2K
Rapunzel*
Rapunzel*
Back
Top