Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

Belle Du Jour said:
http://marriagemissions.com/making-a-good-choice-or-a-god-choice/

Love this quote from the article:
In his popular workbook, Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby suggests we “find out where God is working and join Him there.” We, on the other hand, are more likely to say, “God, here’s the person I want to marry. Will You bless us?” The difference is the approach. One approach puts God at the center while the other puts ourselves at the center. When we make choices independent of God and then ask for His blessing, we’re asking God to approve an idea that originated with us, not Him.

Throughout Scripture, God always takes the initiative. He sets the agenda. “We adjust our lives to God so He can do through us what He wants to do,” says Blackaby. “God is not our servant to make adjustments to our plans. We are His servants and we adjust our lives to what He is about to do.”
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Really profound stuff
 
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bellatiamarie said:
:crying3:You know it's bad when ya grandmama is trying to hook you up. Lord, help me.
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I wish I had someone trying to hook me up. :look: That's how things USED to be: Family and well meaning people looking out for their loved ones. A girl whose blog I used to follow and randomly checked out after years of not reading it got engaged in a 6 month time frame to a guy her MOM scoped out at church and gave him her number. Shoot, I'll take your gran. Nothing wrong with that.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
I wish I had someone trying to hook me up. :look: That's how things USED to be: Family and well meaning people looking out for their loved ones. A girl whose blog I used to follow and randomly checked out after years of not reading it got engaged in a 6 month time frame to a guy her MOM scoped out at church and gave him her number. Shoot, I'll take your gran. Nothing wrong with that.
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:lol: I know. It just feels weird... like my grandmother is trying to set me up :lachen: I feel like a failure.

To make a long story short... she says to me the other day... you know the new musician we have... he thinks you're pretty. Oh ok. That's nice granny. I didn't really say much else about it. Yesterday she says he was going to pick her up for church :lol: now, I usually pick her up on Sundays for church because physically she can't get around on her own anymore. So I said OK so I don't have to pick you up in the morning and she's like yes you do, he has a truck I can't get in there. So this morning she tells me she called him and told him that he didn't have to pick her up because I was taking her. Now, she's never said anything about this man. He's been a musician at our church for at least a year now so I'm wondering where all of this is going. We had a death in our family and I found out from my cousin that he was at my grandmother's house pretty late one night last week chatting with the family which is when the topic of me being pretty came up.

So today at church our usual drum player wasn't there so this guy was on drums. He usually plays the guitar. Fine. So my grandmother sat in the back because she couldn't really make it to the front of the church so I sat on the pew behind her and I slid over a bit because otherwise I would've been directly behind her. So church service is going on and when the word was getting ready to be delivered, I look up and he's standing next to me. I'm confused. My wallet and my fan are sitting to the left of me. So he asks me to move my things and he sat beside me. Ummmm, OK? Very weird. Usually during the word, the musicians sit on their chairs close to their instruments. Uh. So I'm very confused. My pastor played a September 11th remembrance video and then he says to me I could never forget that day because my birthday is the day before or something like that... and I'm like Oh, OK. I mean, what was I supposed to say?

I said I was going to keep this short. But anyway. I feel a certain way about being discussed while I'm not around. Apparently they started discussing me because at my cousins funeral last Saturday, my cousins sister in law said to me you always look so nice. She then proceeds to say you're pretty for big girl. Errrr? So I told her I'm pretty for any type of girl. I almost cussed her out in the church house, yall pray for me. I need deliverance from the foul language. So apparently that particular conversation came up when he was at my grandmother's house and then he said something about me being pretty. Whatever. I just don't feel like being set up right now. I don't even want to deal with the distraction. I just got to a better head space and I'm just really not here for any of it. It's weird.

Honestly, I'm feeling insecure about having to have someone set me up :lol: I need to stop. But I don't know. I'm not feeling this. It's now making me not wanna go to church. Yall pray for me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to be so long :lachen:
 
Belle Du Jour said:
I think it sounds kinda sweet...you need to stop and give the guy a chance if he gets up the courage to ask you out :yep: You never know...God can implant feelings into our hearts for people #justsaying :giggle:
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We will see. I just really don't even know anymore. My flesh is ready :look: but I'm not ready for any of this. If that makes any sense.
 
movingforward said:
@bellatiamarie at least you know what the guy look like.....my BFF....bff....is trying to hook me up on a blind date.

Now that's rock bottom.
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Oh goodness. :lachen: I feel sick at the mere thought of a blind date.

I think everyone around me wants me to be married more than I want to be married. The older I get, the more averse to commitment I become. I don't think I can deal. I want to be married. But Lord I will run if I get tired of a situation and you can't be running away from problems in a marriage. I ain't ready yall. I'm going backwards :lachen: I'm ready for love, but not ready for marriage, commitment and all that stuff. :lol:
 
bellatiamarie said:
Oh goodness. :lachen: I feel sick at the mere thought of a blind date.

I think everyone around me wants me to be married more than I want to be married. The older I get, the more averse to commitment I become. I don't think I can deal. I want to be married. But Lord I will run if I get tired of a situation and you can't be running away from problems in a marriage. I ain't ready yall. I'm going backwards :lachen: I'm ready for love, but not ready for marriage, commitment and all that stuff. :lol:
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LOL!!! We must be twins. I feel the exact same way. I want love and a committed CHRISTIAN relationship for right now.

The guy will have to convinced me that he's worth sharing my freedom with him.
 
@bellatiamarie Girl you better let that boy talk to you! You got single ladies wishing a man would even look their way. God always interrupts us once we finally start getting it together. Don't miss out on this opportunity just because it feels uncomfortable. God doesn't work in the business of making us feel comfortable lol
 
Divine. said:
@bellatiamarie Girl you better let that boy talk to you! You got single ladies wishing a man would even look their way. God always interrupts us once we finally start getting it together. Don't miss out on this opportunity just because it feels uncomfortable. God doesn't work in the business of making us feel comfortable lol
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You're right! I'll see. I just don't like to be thrown off my game! I'm good right now. But there's nothing wrong with seeing where it goes, if it goes.
 
Divine. said:
@bellatiamarie Girl you better let that boy talk to you! You got single ladies wishing a man would even look their way. God always interrupts us once we finally start getting it together. Don't miss out on this opportunity just because it feels uncomfortable. God doesn't work in the business of making us feel comfortable lol
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Truth.com
He is about holiness and sanctification. Won't always be easy or comfortable.
He has taken me out on some limbs this year... :look:
 
I thought this was very beautiful and inspiring: http://www.waitingforyourboaz.com/future-husband/

As of lately, my house has been a tornado. After nearly five years of marriage, Kevin and I have decided to follow wherever God leads, so we are making an out-of-state move.

Anyone who knows my 13 month old daughter knows she loves getting into everything, so when I found her with a piece of paper going to her mouth, it was no surprise.

I had been packing away important papers and sentiments the day before, but when I picked this tiny piece of paper up I realized it was the letter I had wrote to my future husband exactly three days before God revealed to me the man I would marry.

The odd thing about this is I had been planning on eventually writing a blog on this topic, so when this happened, I knew it was God giving me the go ahead.

As a senior in high school nearing graduation, I found the commitment I had made to God at the age of 12 more challenging than it had ever been.

For years I felt like I was in hiding no dates, no prospects, nothing. I knew I wasn’t ugly, but when I prayed that prayer of “God, save my heart for my future husband,” He took me seriously, even though I was just a child. It was almost like He was saying, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me just that, I’ve got you covered.”

Any guy I had talked too even came close to dating came to a screeching halt every single time. I would pray and ask God to lift up what I felt like was a curse (the binding prayer of a 12 year old), but He stuck with His promises to me, even in the times it got so hard to maintain my heart and purity.

I had spent my entire teen life chasing after Jesus. I would being lying if I said I didn’t want to date, because I did, but ultimately I wanted to take my teen years and just solely chase after the main pursuit of my heart.

My friends were all dating, and I felt like the oddball.

A lot of people told me my standards were too high, that I’d end up old and alone.

That was the nicest of the criticism I received for being publicly open about my decision to wait for God to bring me the man HE had set aside for me.

So there I was, a senior in high school who had never kissed, never even held anyone’s hand, and never been in a relationship.

I said no to guys I knew were no good for me. I said no to good, Christian guys. I didn’t always want to say no. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb by being this way, I just wanted to be normal, like other girls.

For the first time in a long time I had came to peace within myself. I realized I was still young and had a lifetime of living, serving, and loving Jesus before God brought along my Boaz. I didn’t expect it anytime soon, so I just decided to be at peace within myself, and trust God that in His timing He would bring everything I need.

Just remembering this period in my life brings back a smile to my face. The burden of trying to do it on my own was lifted. I knew it was out of my hands, it’s not like I could pick someone better for myself than God could anyways, and I knew what a mess I would make of my heart if I rushed ahead.

So I sat down on a cold night in December of 2010 and wrote this simple, yet prophetic letter to my future husband.


To my future husband,


Even now, I am still going to hold out for you. You are so going to be worth it. But I have decided to stop looking for you and to just focus on God, He will bring me to you in the right time. It’s funny that you actually exist, you are a real person, (who is probably asleep right now.) And I know God has you saved for me, just like He is faithfully saving me for you.


I love you and I am doing my best. My heart is already yours. I am going to stop searching elsewhere because I know you are going to be so much better than what I have planned.

Love,
Your future wife

It’s funny how God works.

Three days later, this boy happens to walk into my church. I had met him three years prior, yet in that moment God showed me something different.

He was someone I felt spiritually tied to, and I couldn’t really grasp why. A handful of times we would pass by each other in public, and I felt so drawn to his spirit. I still remember the day we ran into each other at a local Walgreens. I didn’t know his name, but I knew His fire for the Lord. Walking out of Walgreens that day I prayed, God, please give me someone with a heart like that.

As time went on, I became caught up in my life. My senior year alone consisted of four school transitions, and my life as a teenager was hectic to say the least.

But next time we ran into each other, he invited me to come hear him preach sometime and we exchanged numbers. From there things escalated beautifully.

I decided to invite him to my church. I thought he was amazing, but I thought I didn’t have a chance. As we sat there, I remember just seeing love in his eyes, such a humble, sweet spirit.

Then after so many nights of begging and pleading God to give me a “yes” to all the boys I thought were so right for me only to find out there was a reason He always gave me “no’s,” I heard God say something I had never heard Him say before.

He whispered to me, “He’s the one.”

Umm, okay God. There’s nooo way you just told me that.

I convinced myself that I was crazy, besides why would a guy like that be interested in someone like me?

But not long after that, he asked me out on a date to my surprise. He was crazy about me (longer than I even realized), and we fell in love.

Now, sitting here at 5 o’clock in the morning in 2016 I am in tears, thanking God for preserving me, even when I doubted His goodness and promises.

My husband proves to me daily that the decision he and I both made to wait on each other was one of the best decisions we could’ve made.

I thought I couldn’t fall harder in love, but here I am, less than a month away from our five year anniversary, and I am deeper in love than I’ve ever been.

True love really does exist, and so do God’s promises.

I will never regret that day I cried out, “Take all of me Jesus! Make me into whatever you need, and give me whatever I need.”

God knew the simplest desires of my heart down to the letter, and stored up an abundance of blessings for me just from simply asking and committing.

When you become radically in love with Jesus, you realize He is concerned about every area of your life, especially the person you will marry. He desires to give you good things, but they have to be in His time. Abba is so in love with you, and so proud of you.

You are His treasured, chosen child. Don’t doubt the goodness of God. Don’t doubt His promises.

Hold onto the hope He has placed in your heart, I promise you will regret all the times you ever doubted Him.

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23
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Is it better to pray for clarity or trust in God’s will?

It sounds so simple to say, “Just do the will of God.” It is simple and there is beauty and genius in simplicity, but simple and easy are not the same. In many things, perhaps in most things, the will of God is easily known. If we accept that we should love God and neighbor, a great many of life’s choices become clear: We should not steal, murder, or covet or neighbor’s husband or wife. If we accept that God has not created us to be some second-rate version of ourselves, but that God yearns for us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves, then a great many more of life’s choices become very clear–perhaps clearer than we would like. Should we work out or watch endless hours of television? It is easy to see God’s will in the context of his desire for us to become all he created us to be.

But there are some decisions, often the most important ones, that do not fall into either of these categories. And often, these are the bigger decisions of our lives. Perhaps you are deciding whether to be a nurse or a teacher. You can love God and neighbor in both of these professions. You can become a-better-version-of-yourself in both of these professions. But which is God calling you to? God speaks to us all in what I call the three ordinary voices of God. They are legitimate needs, deepest desires, and talents, God has given us legitimate needs, dreams and desires, and talents and abilities to help us understand how we might best make a unique contribution. But even after thoroughly examining these it may still not be clear what God’s will is for our lives.

A priest once asked Mother Teresa if she would pray that God would give him clarity in a choice he had to make. She told him, “God may never give you clarity. All you can do is trust.”

Sometimes we think we know for sure, sometimes we think we are pretty sure, and sometimes all we can do is trust. We can know that we are trying to love God and neighbor. We can know that a choice can help us become a-better-version-of-ourselves. We can know that a certain choice is a good fit for our legitimate needs, our unique talents, and our deepest desires. But we won’t necessarily know that something is the will of God. Then, all we can do is trust.

http://rediscover.archspm.org/prayer/is-it-better-to-pray-for-clarity-or-trust-in-gods-will/
 
@Lucia God is such a mystery. I spent a lot of time being anxious about whether I was in His will. Finally I realized that His will for me is exactly where I am today. So I'm learning to live in the present and trust that He will change my circumstances when He wills. Doesn't mean it's easy to live where I am today but I think acceptance is a big part and He wants us to thrive exactly where we are planted today. If I never bloom where I am now, how could I think I would bloom in a different season? I think it goes back to what Paul said about contentment. Anyway great article.
 
This is another hard one: waiting on a guy to take the lead. Ugh! Many of them don't know how but I truly believe "If God desires the friendship to happen, He is perfectly capable of moving upon the guy’s heart to take the first step in reaching out to you. Show that you trust in Him with all your heart by letting Him write the story without any manipulation on your part!"

https://setapartgirl.com/magazine/article/05-1-13/getting-know-guy
 
In anything in life, sometimes all we have is trust because it's a bone-dried desert but we're not empty slates. I dunno about advocating that we be such in regards to finding a mate or even a profession. We are imbued with individual personalities, predilections and world views for a reason.
 
Lucia said:
Really profound stuff
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I keep saying I won't buy any more relationship books :look: LOL but when I saw that the article was excerpts taken from his book, I couldn't help but pick it up. It's really good :yep: He talks a lot about the mechanics of how a Godly relationship should progress. I've never seen it laid out like that before in a book. If you enjoyed the article, I highly recommend the book.
 
I really like the site. Very cute.
Belle Du Jour said:
This is another hard one: waiting on a guy to take the lead. Ugh! Many of them don't know how but I truly believe "If God desires the friendship to happen, He is perfectly capable of moving upon the guy’s heart to take the first step in reaching out to you. Show that you trust in Him with all your heart by letting Him write the story without any manipulation on your part!"

https://setapartgirl.com/magazine/article/05-1-13/getting-know-guy
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Papoose said:
Today a guy said to "have faith in Jesus not a ticking clock" to a woman in her late 30s. What are your thoughts ladies? @Shimmie?
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Hello @Papoose, I'm obviously not @Shimmie, but I agree with this statement. God is the creator of ALL things. He made the world by speaking, He made a virgin conceive, He raised Christ (and others) from the dead. Absolutely nothing is impossible for Him. Whether the clock is physical or biological, God is greater - the clock can tick all it wants but God created time, and He can restore it, if needs be. See Sarah in Genesis. And Isaiah 38:7-8, Kings 20:8-11. God works miracles, and says to have faith in Him. He is able to do more than we can imagine. So have faith in Him. And listen for His leading, then obey Him. I know it's hard, but He gives us grace to endure. We have to take it. Meanwhile, I say one should do what they can to get/stay healthy. We do what we can and let God do what He can. God bless.

P.S: All that said, it so easy for a man to say that, isn't it? And I hope he said it in an encouraging, not disparaging, way.
 
Papoose said:
Today a guy said to "have faith in Jesus not a ticking clock" to a woman in her late 30s. What are your thoughts ladies? @Shimmie?
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I agree. God created time. If He wants you to have babies you will have them. I definitely think about my own clock sometimes but I abandoned my life to Him a while ago. He will decide whether I have babies or not. I will try my best to not step outside His will.

Also, a book I read recently said yo remind yourself often of God's "resume" ie parting the red sea, raising Jesus from the dead etc. He is the God of miracles!
 
Papoose said:
@blessedandfavoured @Belle Du Jour Thanks for this. As someone in the same boat, I get discouraged too. I think he meant well, but it is very easy for a man to say. Thanks again for the encouragement. :thankyou:
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Belle Du Jour said:
I agree. God created time. If He wants you to have babies you will have them. I definitely think about my own clock sometimes but I abandoned my life to Him a while ago. He will decide whether I have babies or not. I will try my best to not step outside His will.

Also, a book I read recently said yo remind yourself often of God's "resume" ie parting the red sea, raising Jesus from the dead etc. He is the God of miracles!
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Ladies, God is always willing to encourage Him. He's such a wonderful Father. I saw this and thought of this topic. And I hope this song is encouraging. God bless.
 
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