Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

Belle Du Jour said:
Totally agree! Men should NOT be asked for their numbers or asked out. But I think my friend was getting at how we show our own interest and encourage them to step up. I think the saying that "a men will pursue if he's interested--period" is not necessarily true. Men are different these days and many lack the skill to pursue. I'm not saying they should get a pass but maybe there are things we can do to maximize our impact?
Click to expand...


I'm kinda going through this right now. I feel like I've let him know that I'm interested because we flirt with each other all the time, not in a sleazy way but it's very obvious that we like each other. But he's not stepping up in the sense that things aren't moving past flirting stage :perplexed:

Shrugs, I don't know what else to do. I can't show interest any other way outside of holding up a big sign:welcome:

Honestly I feel like there's nothing else we can do besides dress nicely, light flirting or showing some signs of interest, smiling, etc.

You feel like men are too shy now or have been hurt too much to ask women out anymore?
 
mscurly said:
I'm kinda going through this right now. I feel like I've let him know that I'm interested because we flirt with each other all the time, not in a sleazy way but it's very obvious that we like each other. But he's not stepping up in the sense that things aren't moving past flirting stage :perplexed:

Shrugs, I don't know what else to do. I can't show interest any other way outside of holding up a big sign:welcome:

Honestly I feel like there's nothing else we can do besides dress nicely, light flirting or showing some signs of interest, smiling, etc.

You feel like men are too shy now or have been hurt too much to ask women out anymore?
Click to expand...

My friend suggested that there are SOME men who may need an extra nudge. They could be great partners but may have a confidence issue in the area of women so they just take themselves out of the dating world because they feel like they don't know what they are doing. And again, I'm not talking about doing their job for them but being a little more direct? I dunno...things seem so complicated now.
 
Many men say that when a man wants a woman badly enough, even if he's got one leg, no tongue and half an eye, he's going to drag himself across that desert and get that girl and declare his love. He will go the distance and suddenly discover his bravery. This is usually the case for good men who want her more than she wants him.
 
kanozas said:
Many men say that when a man wants a woman badly enough, even if he's got one leg, no tongue and half an eye, he's going to drag himself across that desert and get that girl and declare his love. He will go the distance and suddenly discover his bravery. This is usually the case for good men who want her more than she wants him.
Click to expand...

@mscurly
@Belle Du Jour

I have to agree with @kanozas
Even if he's shy if its Gods timing, will and he's the one then he will have courage or whatever he needs to step up to you when that time is right. Believe that Jesus will send the HS if needed to make him step out of his comfort zone and do what's necessary.

If you're already praying for your future hubby pray that he's given courage so he can step up to you and make his intentions toward you known plain and clear. Like the video of Miriam and Ardy upthread he was unsure but God told him to step out on faith and he did.

If you find that you have to drop major hints and flirt alot then he's probably not interested, he's not your future hubby-so calm down.
Or he is interested but he's not ready, let me say it again HE'S NOT READY! If he has some internal stuff or emotional stuff , shyness, career, job, school or whatever to deal with before being "ready" then God has to deal with him on that and mature, prepare him. It's not our job to raise a grown man, and we can't martyr ourselves trying to save one either that's Jesus domain to work on his heart. This is how we women start justifying our actions and start sliding down a slippery slope and that can become dangerous. Does he have to be perfect of course not, but If your a WOG you don't want him before Gods appointed time either it could mean disaster for you both.


There's a difference in flirting and being polite nice kind and approachable. I think being kind and polite is enough of course it doesn't hurt to look cute and smell nice either. Some people think if you have good manners dress and smell good somehow you're out on the prowl for men that's so not true. I don't think there is anything wrong with a little encouragement or flirting but only after he makes the first move and shows at least some interest in me on his own.


I don't believe I have to flirt with a guy for him to notice me if he's the one.
Example: Now if I'm flirting overtime then that's just me forcing a guy who otherwise isn't interested in me acknowledging my flirting and let's face it he's a man he's going to respond that attention and flirt back get my number if I offer it regardless of whether he really is into you or not. Then I'm sitting at home wondering why he didn't call after he seemed so into me-really? Come on we're better than that and thats usually what happens when a woman initiates flirting or the first move. Or worse he calls just to pass the time with you and waste your time and his with no honorable intentions in mind for you.


So we have to be careful there. All men respond to a woman flirting with them it's like it's genetic or something and they can't help it.

There are many secular books one the rules how to get a man keep him etc and they all pretty much tell wome to not be themselves and act like some perfect prototype in the book or they say follow these rules tips to get him. Those don't work because essentially it's basing your relationship on lies because you're not being your true authentic self.
And the real you even if you're pretty kind smart etc will come out and he didn't fall for the real you he fell for the fake you and that will most likely break the relationship.


I like Heather Linsays quote on this she said "if God told you he's your husband God will tell him that too." you don't have to go and tell him that or run around trying to get him to notice you.
 
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Actually, I'm of the mindset that if a guy doesn't step up, I lose interest. I'm not going to be praying anything for him. It seems true to me that the ones that want you are tripping over themselves to get to you. Seems that the ones we want aren't. Male/female relationships....very difficult and it's too bad the heart has to get in the way or that we feel pressured wondering, "when is my turn?" It's awful, imo. I hate feeling those things. I didn't pursue my husband, he pursued me but looking back, I should have married another as it all turns out.
 
mscurly said:
I'm kinda going through this right now. I feel like I've let him know that I'm interested because we flirt with each other all the time, not in a sleazy way but it's very obvious that we like each other. But he's not stepping up in the sense that things aren't moving past flirting stage :perplexed:

Shrugs, I don't know what else to do. I can't show interest any other way outside of holding up a big sign:welcome:

Honestly I feel like there's nothing else we can do besides dress nicely, light flirting or showing some signs of interest, smiling, etc.

You feel like men are too shy now or have been hurt too much to ask women out anymore?
Click to expand...

No I don't think it's because they've been hurt after they've had time to deal and heal with the pain of that.
I think it's just too many women step to men and take charge of the realtionship from initiation to proposal. They're not letting men be men. It's just too easy for guys now days to get whatever they want from some women without having to initiate, step up, or take any responsibility for anything.

So in turn most men have become LAAAZYYYY!!! and just let women lead the relationship and lead them around and basically run them. so from the start the relationship is out of order with Jesus so He then can't be the foundation a realtionship based on rebellious disobedience. And we all know what happens then cheating separation divorce sometimes even violence. When something is not meant to be there will be hell to pay right here on earth. IMO

I think this has become even more common since a lot of women are on the sexual revolution and feminist bandwagon.
I just want to know besides better jobs and the right to vote where we still get paid less how have those movements really improved women's lives?

Oops I think I went on a mini-rant.
:blah: :drunk:
:hijacked:
 
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Lucia said:
@mscurly
@Belle Du Jour

I have to agree with @kanozas
Even if he's shy if its Gods timing, will and he's the one then he will have courage or whatever he needs to step up to you when that time is right. Believe that Jesus will send the HS if needed to make him step out of his comfort zone and do what's necessary.

If you're already praying for your future hubby pray that he's given courage so he can step up to you and make his intentions toward you known plain and clear. Like the video of Miriam and Ardy upthread he was unsure but God told him to step out on faith and he did.

If you find that you have to drop major hints and flirt alot then he's probably not interested, he's not your future hubby-so calm down.
Or he is interested but he's not ready, let me say it again HE'S NOT READY! If he has some internal stuff or emotional stuff , shyness, career, job, school or whatever to deal with before being "ready" then God has to deal with him on that and mature, prepare him. It's not our job to raise a grown man, and we can't martyr ourselves trying to save one either that's Jesus domain to work on his heart. This is how we women start justifying our actions and start sliding down a slippery slope and that can become dangerous. Does he have to be perfect of course not, but If your a WOG you don't want him before Gods appointed time either it could mean disaster for you both.


There's a difference in flirting and being polite nice kind and approachable. I think being kind and polite is enough of course it doesn't hurt to look cute and smell nice either. Some people think if you have good manners dress and smell good somehow you're out on the prowl for men that's so not true. I don't think there is anything wrong with a little encouragement or flirting but only after he makes the first move and shows at least some interest in me on his own.


I don't believe I have to flirt with a guy for him to notice me if he's the one.
Example: Now if I'm flirting overtime then that's just me forcing a guy who otherwise isn't interested in me acknowledging my flirting and let's face it he's a man he's going to respond that attention and flirt back get my number if I offer it regardless of whether he really is into you or not. Then I'm sitting at home wondering why he didn't call after he seemed so into me-really? Come on we're better than that and thats usually what happens when a woman initiates flirting or the first move. Or worse he calls just to pass the time with you and waste your time and his with no honorable intentions in mind for you.


So we have to be careful there. All men respond to a woman flirting with them it's like it's genetic or something and they can't help it.

There are many secular books one the rules how to get a man keep him etc and they all pretty much tell wome to not be themselves and act like some perfect prototype in the book or they say follow these rules tips to get him. Those don't work because essentially it's basing your relationship on lies because you're not being your true authentic self.
And the real you even if you're pretty kind smart etc will come out and he didn't fall for the real you he fell for the fake you and that will most likely break the relationship.


I like Heather Linsays quote on this she said "if God told you he's your husband God will tell him that too." you don't have to go and tell him that or run around trying to get him to notice you.
Click to expand...



I agree with you. That's why I NEVER initiate anything. If I am flirting with a man it's only because he started it first and maybe I'm reciprocating if I like him back. But I think it's a horrible idea for a woman to come up to a man and initiate anything romantic be it flirting, asking for number, date, etc. Men have to be men.

Unfortunately there are women who assume the role of the hunter which God did not design us to be in. It was Adam who discovered Eve after God woke him up. The bible says HE that finds a wife finds a good thing.

I've heard a few men from my church say that women have asked them out even in not so subtle ways. Like oh so you going to prayer meeting why don't we meet up after service?, stuff like that. I don't think that's a good idea because again if he is interested then he will make that move.

I believe God has to direct the relationship. That's how I'm dealing with my current situation. I only speak to him when he approaches me. Just like I'm only playful when he initiates that first. All I can do is pray about it and continue to bring my concerns to Christ in prayer. I have no intentions what so ever to EVER say anything to him because as you've stated if I am his wife then God will tell him at the right time. I don't have to say or do anything.

I also believe that you could have met the person but the timing may not be right. I trust God and His timing in my relationship. It's been Christ led this far so all I can do is to continue to trust God and not make any moves of my own. I can't force anything to happen because then I'll be outside of His will. I've come too far and made too many past mistakes to play anymore games. A long time ago I made a vow to do things God's way not my own.

Anyways I think I'm rabbling at this point....
 
Lucia said:
So in turn most men have become LAAAZYYYY!!! and just let women lead the relationship and lead them around and basically run them. so from the start the relationship is out of order with Jesus so He then can't be the foundation a realtionship based on rebellious disobedience. And we all know what happens then cheating separation divorce sometimes even violence. When something is not meant to be there will be hell to pay right here on earth. IMO

I think this has become even more common since a lot of women are on the sexual revolution and feminist bandwagon.
I just want to know besides better jobs and the right to vote where we still get paid less how have those movements really improved women's lives?
Click to expand...

I disagree with this, though. Men still very much run the show. Women aren't leading them and them having a voice isn't causing divorces. Women aren't meant to be silent side-pieces. We have examples of women in scripture leading. In my example, I'm just saying that men often want the one not paying them any mind and we often want the one not paying us much mind. Those are the dynamics of finding someone. I don't advocate that women have no voice nor take any initiative at all. Even if a man leads the way to a relationship, doesn't mean they will never divorce, even if they both love Jesus. My concerns/experience is in giving too much attention to someone not giving much attention back. Sometimes, you have to know when to move on.
 
kanozas said:
I disagree with this, though. Men still very much run the show. Women aren't leading them and them having a voice isn't causing divorces. Women aren't meant to be silent side-pieces. We have examples of women in scripture leading. In my example, I'm just saying that men often want the one not paying them any mind and we often want the one not paying us much mind. Those are the dynamics of finding someone. I don't advocate that women have no voice nor take any initiative at all. Even if a man leads the way to a relationship, doesn't mean they will never divorce, even if they both love Jesus. My concerns/experience is in giving too much attention to someone not giving much attention back. Sometimes, you have to know when to move on.
Click to expand...

I see what you mean and I agree on that, if they're not into me just KIM. There are no garuntees. And we're partners with men I don't think we need to be silent but we should give a good man his due and not try to take his place as why I referred to the feminist movement and sexual revolution.
But I still have experienced and seen first hand how lazy a lot of men have become and that's regardless of if they're truly interested or not some guys just let women run the relationship and run them. For me I can't respect that kind of guy at all, no boy mats.
 
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kanozas said:
In my example, I'm just saying that men often want the one not paying them any mind and we often want the one not paying us much mind. Those are the dynamics of finding someone. I don't advocate that women have no voice nor take any initiative at all. Even if a man leads the way to a relationship, doesn't mean they will never divorce, even if they both love Jesus. My concerns/experience is in giving too much attention to someone not giving much attention back. Sometimes, you have to know when to move on.
Click to expand...

Open question to all
Regarding bolded phrase
Do you think it's because of our fallen world and original sin that it has messed up our woman to man dynamics?

Because it's a kind of like self imposed cruelty.
you know she wants him but he wants someone else and vice versa. I know it's not always like that but it's pretty much the common norm most times.

It doesn't seem like that would be the way it wild be if we didn't live in a fallen world.
 
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Lucia said:
Open question to all
Regarding bolded phrase
Do you think it's because of our fallen world and original sin that it has messed up our woman to man dynamics?

Because it send kind of like self imposed cruelty.
you know she wants him but he wants someone else and vice versa. I know it's not always like that but it's pretty much the common norm most times.

It doesn't seem like that would be the way it wild be if we didn't live in a fallen world.
Click to expand...


Maybe that aspect of the relationship dynamics...I'm not sure. I don't think that men leading means necessarily that you can't initiate it. I just know that men suck. Bahaha. These days, I ain't keen on wasting any time.
 
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Lucia said:
Open question to all
Regarding bolded phrase
Do you think it's because of our fallen world and original sin that it has messed up our woman to man dynamics?

Because it send kind of like self imposed cruelty.
you know she wants him but he wants someone else and vice versa. I know it's not always like that but it's pretty much the common norm most times.

It doesn't seem like that would be the way it wild be if we didn't live in a fallen world.
Click to expand...

Absolutely.
There is so much confusion that it has to be the enemy.
I truly believe that if we want spouses and a chance at a lasting marriage, we have to battle with satan in the spiritual realm and pray with everything we have.
 
Lucia said:
Open question to all
Regarding bolded phrase
Do you think it's because of our fallen world and original sin that it has messed up our woman to man dynamics?

Because it send kind of like self imposed cruelty.
you know she wants him but he wants someone else and vice versa. I know it's not always like that but it's pretty much the common norm most times.

It doesn't seem like that would be the way it wild be if we didn't live in a fallen world.
Click to expand...

Belle Du Jour said:
Absolutely.
There is so much confusion that it has to be the enemy.
I truly believe that if we want spouses and a chance at a lasting marriage, we have to battle with satan in the spiritual realm and pray with everything we have.
Click to expand...


@Lucia I never thought about it like that but that makes sense. The enemy hates marriage and Godly unions so we will do anything to stop it including sending in confusion when it comes to meeting and courtship.


I do agree with @Belle Du Jour in that we must continue to pray and put on the full armor of God. I think you should start praying for your spouse well before marriage honestly. The enemy doesn't sleep so why should we.
 
kanozas said:
@Lucia Can we get a synopsis? I don't have time to watch all the vids.
Click to expand...

:lol:

Ok so to sum up gossip videos are basically be more concerned with what comes out your mouth than goes in, don't falsely slander (whether you know consequences or not) cause it just give the enemy another stronghold the last trap he sets to keep us hooked into that vicious cycle and keeps our breakthroughs and blessings from happening.

What to expect while waiting...
The enemy will send you men to tempt you the kind of men that fit the list almost but are missing some major things like theu say they're Christian but are actually secular, they don't practice and will slowly lead you away from Jesus. To get rid confess rebuke forgive release) of any envy and jealousy regarding others cause they're getting married etc because that will delay your blessings and arrival of future hubby.


Waiting on God ...
Testimony on staying obedient to Gods will even when you don't see how things will work out. She got a word from the Lord and waited for Him to shape her future hubby into the man he is now. She didn't go and tell future hubby anything she let things happen in Gods time according to his will in obedience to God and he testifies to his wait and how he was changed by Gods doing a work in him during the waiting stage. This ones not too long.


Don't settle...
If you're trying to convince yourself and others or talk yourself into keeping the relationship going then youre probably settling. Settling only leads to heartbreak, pain, and it's basically selling yourself short.
 
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Lucia said:
:lol:
Waiting on God ...
Testimony on staying obedient to Gods will even when you don't see how things will work out. She got a word from the Lord and waited for Him to shape her future hubby into the man he is now. She didn't go and tell future hubby anything she let things happen in Gods time according to his will in obedience to God and he testifies to his wait and how he was changed by Gods doing a work in him during the waiting stage. This ones not too long.
Click to expand...

This is such a beautiful video. I re-watched it. I am praying and fasting and I believe that someone for me exists. I hope this man is doing the same for me and waiting to hear from God about pursing me. Also, Michael mentioned that people need to give God the space to move. This is a beautiful parallel to the space that women need to allow men for them to pursue. Waiting is SO hard but I know it will be worth it in the end.
 
You are unique, there is no one else in the world that is like you. That's why when someone truly falls in love with you (and not your type), you have nothing to worry about. Because you are on a league of your own, you have no competition. - Pastor T.D. Jakes
 
Belle Du Jour said:
This is such a beautiful video. I re-watched it. I am praying and fasting and I believe that someone for me exists. I hope this man is doing the same for me and waiting to hear from God about pursing me. Also, Michael mentioned that people need to give God the space to move. This is a beautiful parallel to the space that women need to allow men for them to pursue. Waiting is SO hard but I know it will be worth it in the end.
Click to expand...

Yes he had a very special message and testimony to give. I don't think I ever thought about it or heard that before, I'm letting that nugget sink in.
I also really like Marcus' testimony worth the wait video especially since they're Catholic ;)
Looks like he did a Spanish version too that's good cause he's getting his testimony out there in both languages.
 
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