Serious BabyMomma Drama

[rdm]

Oh and Dani...please do not never ever evah have sex in somebody else's house. It's just nasty and triflin', I don't care if they are ok with it or not.

Nevermind...

 

[kayte]

because I'm 19 in college dependent on my parents.

This explains it all....

I came on here to get some advice from an older crowd, not a bashing of being a nosy slut.

you're not~~
Yeah..I would agree with cutting the OP some slack
I found the post upsetting and then I read I'm 19
I remember what it was like being 19...

OP.....it's admirable....you want to help your friend with her issues
..but as a teenager...you are in OVER your head
*I'll come back with a phone number....
where she can get free support from mature women much older
and with experience in what's she dealing with....

1>
1 888 425 2666 8am till 6pm Eastern Time
it's a National Alanon number..they can offer free support meetings..and also women's meetings
with women who are going through what she is going through
and they can offer support
if you call the natl number..you can ask for the local number in her area
and give THAT number to her and someone will call her back and direct her to
meetings. pm me if you have more questions...

Tell her...this is the best way I can help apart from prayer and
and I need to step away from this...but I will be praying for you....

2>
if a man or anyone ....ever put his/her hand/s on you again.....
JUMP BACK ...make a loud noise..WHAT ARE DOING and then out him/her

what's going on???
he put his hand on my~
or swing with your fists and STILL make a loud noise
Practice. I MEAN it..
you cannot afford to be ..passive about bad unwanted touch..ever
learn to fight that aggressively.....that's not being overdramtic
I am serious
and if it is in the perpetrator's house LEAVE
no friendship is worth one more instance

3>
with..sex..
I can understand as a teen living w/your parents
the lure of having a room ...any room......but you put yourself in danger
If I were your mom.....I'd say.... please please please wait.... on that anyway
You are asking for trouble..and your bf...agreeing to do this in a troubled house..even being nude..in a troubled house...where the owner has made sexual advances that you didn't even know how to handle is equally irresponsible...

I know it's none of my business and I'm speaking out of turn
but I will say it anyway...REALLY wish you'd focus on school and going to football games ..and what your major is...student council meetings..sororities.etc
and let the sex stuff go for a while...a lo-o-ong while
because....you don't....seem to be...handling it.....very well.
That's not a judgement,lovely.So...don't be mad at me!

intimate relations...even if it in the moment...seems..fun...
can greatly complicate in ways you cannot imagine and possibly
in ways that are dangerous
you said yourself your mental state is fragile ..respect that!
honor that by keeping things very simple

enjoy just being a young'un
time of your life,girl~

 

[sunflower]

to the OP: I felt like you did the right thing, as far as telling her. Me, I would've kicked him smooth in the chest and then walked out and told her.

I honestly don't understand what the problem is with her having sex in her friends home. Not something i would do but hey, if her friend said girl, get you some! hey you're an adult. forget everyone else. Now if you're banging and hollering wakin folks up then yea, your wrong lol. that's why people have guest rooms with guest linens. some people r so quick to judge. just because they were having sex or naked or whatever the case may be doesn't give him the right to walk in, then make a perverted comment afterwards. he needs his *** whooped.

eta: it's funny to me how people ask for advice and then other people tend to harp on other things in the situation that have nothing to do with what she needed help with in the first place.

What kills me is when someone ask for advice and people will come up in the thread to roast the person. Certain situations call for some tough love but sometimes I think some take it a little too far. The only thing this is accomplishing is making sure others will not come to the board for advice. Also,why do people come in a thread and say "it is none of your business" Obviously half the stuff that is posted on this board is no ones business. If it is not the OP's business it is definitely not the business of those who are responding.

I have been a member of this board for a long time. I noticed that over the years the board has become slow. It is sad to see that some people will not post advice or questions because they are afraid of backlash. No on is perfect as this young lady has demonstrated for us all today. I'm all for tough love but sometimes some folks take it a little too far. I understand to a certain extent because people are interacting face to face ,which makes it hard to gauge a person's true intentions.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

I personally would not have sex in someone else's house, but that is just me. I guess I am kind of funny like that.

On the other hand some of the responses were a little harsh. I was all ready to tell this young lady to grow up until I read that she is only 19. This is what people her age do. They make mistakes and hopefully they learn from them. This person made a choice to touch her. He had no right and it was not her fault. Yea she made some bad choices regarding this situation but she is very young. I agree that none of this was her fault. Hopefully she will take the advice given and learn from this experience.

Very well said.

 

[Mai Tai]

it's not her house, it's his.

Girl, that's even more reason not to be coloring in his house. You don't know what or who he has roaming his house. Would you rather wait until your behind ends up on some hidden camera amateur voyeur porn site. I think not. Regardless of what's going on in your friend's life...never...ever put yourself in the position to have your privacy invaded because there are some really sick and twisted people out there.

I'm a non-confrontational person also but i'll be damned if some dude is disrespecting me so blatantly, and I remained tight lipped about it. PLEASE...I would have called that fool out with the quickness. *** a friendship...

 

[brownelovely]

so he just called me and asked what's wrong cuz she told him to call me. i told him that he needs to talk to her. she told him. he texted me and said that we're both grown enough that I should have told him and not her. I said my loyalties lie with her and I didnt have to say anything to you cuz you knew what you were doing and to leave me out of their business and to tell her to talk to him from now on and not me, i can't deal with this foolishness.
oh and she still isn't leaving.................hahaha i am not surprised
goddaughter or no goddaughter i'm done.

Good for you girl! Why did she tell him to call you though? See that the childish stuff that comes and trust your better off not involved. I'm glad you took the matters into your hands. Next time she starts with the yada yada...change the subject!

 

[kayte]

so he just called me and asked what's wrong cuz she told him to call me

remember what he did to you?????..
NEVER accept communication from someone who did what he did..
BLOCK HIS NUMBER.....NOT ONE MORE WORD TO HIM AGAIN
IF YOU SEE HIM....ACT AS IF HE'S INVISIBLE...
YOU OWE THIS PERVERT NOTHING

not even the time of day...

you need to be so outraged..that if he attempted to approach you again
even to say buenas dias
that you would envision splitting his lying tongue in two with a machete

I'll do it for you..what a pig

 

[Skyfall]

Ladies, i'm tearing up right now because your words empower me. Here I was feeling as if I did something wrong. THANK YOU.

 

[Skyfall]

how do you block a number?

 

[14got]

I see you posted it
How old is the guy

 

[Skyfall]

hes 28 years old

 

[14got]

HMm is your friend your age
ITA never go back to his house

 

[Skyfall]

yea she just turned 21.
and i'm not going back there.

 

[priceless2608]

Wow! He's 28 yrs old, and you're only 19!! OP, please distance yourself from your friend and that man. Its obvious that he crossed the line with you b/c he knows you're young and naïve. Shame on HIM for hitting on you.


Your main focus right now should be school, and preparing for your future!

Oh and smdh at some of the responses on here.

 

[kayte]

how do you block a number?

call your provider and ask them....how about the blocking
device..if there is none ....delete his calls without a word
even pigs get tired..

Ladies, i'm tearing up right now because your words empower me. Here I was feeling as if I did something wrong. THANK YOU.

awwww sweetie....


such a smart girl... you're learning frm this!
you got more going on in the brains than I did at 19
I was comletely clueless

 

[sky_blu]

LOL! Wowzers! I think the first page or first two pages summed up what I was thinking.

 

[sxytia07]

OP, i'm glad you were able to get something positive from posting here...especially admist all of the negative energy that often floats around on this board under the guise of being the "advice" posters ask for. continue to keep your face to the positive energy and good luck to you and your best friend. pray on things and continue to push her to return to her family where she can begin fresh with their love and support.

 

[firecracker]

I got one question. Why were ya'll getting busy in somebody elses spot?

 

[NYAmicas]

Next time get your groove on on the sidewalk OP! That way you're not in anyone's house. lol just kidding.

Your friend is going to do what she wants until she decides she wants to bounce. You've confirmed the BF is a douche and have been there for her. No need to feel bad any longer.

 

[BARCA]

I don't think you should have told your friend what the bd did just b/c of the other drama going on in her life. You could have handled it on your own: Take him to the side or catch him alone and tell him firmly and confidently that if he ever does that again he'll end up with a permanent limp. As for coloring in someone else's house, if you're my BFF, I don't mind what you do in my apartment, but that's just me. I wouldn't do it at someone else's house b/c not everyone thinks the way I do and I realize it may be inappropriate. Just don't stain anything and wash the sheets lol.

 

[MissJ]

hes 28 years old

Wow!!!! What a perve, even more reason for you to stay away from him!!!!

 

[MissYocairis]

Just always talking about sex to me and all the things he does, how big he is, commenting on my body when he saw me naked.

So I came to the conclusion that he was coming on to me

Noooo! Really? You think?


I'm sorry OP, this was hilarious!

 

[rayness]

no i'm not joking, some people don't mind their friends having sex in their house, in a room with the door closed (I thought I had closed it and turned the lock but I didnt pull the door in enough).

But you should mind. That is what hotels are for. I don't know maybe it is my age showing but honey that is personal and needs to be done in private not in someone elses home.

You are young enjoy your youth. You have plenty of time for the coloring (wow I am old that is a new one for me) focus on school and getting you life together. I know it is easier said than done but we have all been there and you can learn from our past mistakes. I got involved in a friends mess and guess what? She took his side and me and her are no longer friends. He is still dog and she just sits and takes it because it is all she knows.

It seems like it something she needs to work out on her own and you should distance yourself from her. Which I think you said you are doing in another post.


Ok back to lurk mode.