Serious BabyMomma Drama

I don't feel like I'm in their relationship at all she just keeps complaining to me about how low and dirty he is and how she can't stand to be there. But it seems she would rather stay and suffer. I have tried so many times, planned so many ideas on how to get her life together, but she chooses to sit there and suffer.
What Hopeful said is true, I realise, and my mental health is not the strongest right now, I don't want to seem selfish but I honestly cannot deal with this, anymore I have been by her side for almost 3 yrs now and no matter how much I try to help her she just sinks lower and lower.
I can lead the horse to the water, but I can't force it to drink.
 
danibeeja_gyal said:
I don't feel like I'm in their relationship at all she just keeps complaining to me about how low and dirty he is and how she can't stand to be there. But it seems she would rather stay and suffer. I have tried so many times, planned so many ideas on how to get her life together, but she chooses to sit there and suffer.
What Hopeful said is true, I realise, and my mental health is not the strongest right now, I don't want to seem selfish but I honestly cannot deal with this, anymore I have been by her side for almost 3 yrs now and no matter how much I try to help her she just sinks lower and lower.
I can lead the horse to the water, but I can't force it to drink.
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Let her sit there and suffer. She's grown.

Support your godchild in whatever way you can and keep it moving. Focus on yourself. I had to learn that lesson the hard way.
 
Yes MSA your right, I am distancing myself right now. All this negative energy is affecting me and I'm not strong enough to just sit there and watch her be a fool. Your right she's grown woman, she needs to mature and take action. I'm tired of this mess.
 
Oh and Dani...please do not never ever evah have sex in somebody else's house. It's just nasty and triflin', I don't care if they are ok with it or not.
 
You are only 19.
You are very young. Very.

Please keep the drama out of your life. As one poster said, support your godchild as best you can. But you cannot solve this situation for them. Your friend has to make these decisions.
 
Mind your own business and stop using your friends house as your sex den. She doesn't want to leave.
 
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Your 19 so your not gonna know how to do everything right the first go round. As msa mentioned, stay out of their business. Most women don't want to hear about their men being trifling so it makes you look bad in the end.

When you go over, stop hugging him. There's no real need to hug him or touch him in any way. Stop sleeping over also....there's not real need for that either since it's not her house. He may feel he has the right to walk in every room unannounced since it's his place and that fact right there would make me uncomfortable.

Friends with drama will bring you down. Just be a good friend and listen but let her make her own life decisions. Let her draw up her own plans. She has to realize that there are better things out there on her own. Stay in school and stop coloring in peoples houses!
 
Please focus on your education and personal advancement in life. Learn from her situation and try to avoid getting into something similar.
 
You had relations with your man at your friend's house, when you were just visiting? Wow.

I hate to say this, but I'm not surprised that the bd is talking about sex to you all the time and disrespecting you if you're doing stuff like that.
 
You really shouldn't be sleeping over a "married" couple's house unless you are in from out of town. To me, you are a directly contributing to the problem by sleeping over. I'll say it, this whole mess is your fault. If you are there to visit your friend, visit her and keep it moving. If you and your boyfriend need a spot for intimacy, motels are pretty cheap and you can get all the privacy you need. And, if they are broken up then why is it a problem that he is making advances? He's single, and he was trying to see if you were open to a fling. You needed to let him know, up front in no uncertain terms that it was not happening and it seems you failed to do that, you just played along and saved up enough "evidence" to indict him to your friend. I agree with all of the PP, you need to stay out of the middle of the drama, you should be there for your friend if she requests your help but you should not be sorting through her life and deciding for her what she needs to do, only she can decide that.
 
You still young sweetie you live and you learn by your mistakes, ladies she was asking for advice take it easy a little. For you sweetie this is tough love from your LHCF sisters, your friend is grown she can hold her on just worry about your future and education and stay away from that BD of hers
 
I don't see how my actions led to this at all.
and she was the one begging me to sleepover because she was bored all the time.
This is the first time I have ever been involved in their business and like some ladies said I'm young and inexperienced with this sort of thing that's why I came on here to get some advice from an older crowd, not a bashing of being a nosy slut.
 
danibeeja_gyal said:
I don't see how my actions led to this at all.
and she was the one begging me to sleepover because she was bored all the time.
This is the first time I have ever been involved in their business and like some ladies said I'm young and inexperienced with this sort of thing that's why I came on here to get some advice from an older crowd, not a bashing of being a nosy slut.
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It's not your fault, per se. But, you are guilty of being naive and putting yourself in a bad situation where something like this could happen. For all you know, this guy could be crazy. You are a young, impressionable, attractive young lady; don't act like you aren't. Men think with their other heads, and the other head has no loyalties. If you respect your friendship, then you will change your actions. The END.

And, don't f around over other people's houses. And, learn from your friend's situation, don't end up like her.
 
I will be doing as you ladies have said.
I do now realise that I did make mistakes in this situation, only time will tell if I have learnt from them.
Thanks everyone for your input.
 
its not ur fault some men in general are nasty. Your friend lacks self esteem she needs a boost, not to mention get her a$$ up and find a job so she can save money to get the hell outta dodge. She knows her man is loose so you telling her should not be a suprise. How old is she by the way? If you can buy her the bus ticket and see if she uses it if she doesnt leave her alone anytime she tells you something about him just tell her you dont want to hear it discuss other things and never ever go over there again god child or not
 
I can't believe people have sex while being a guest in someone's home! Wow!

Is your friend in college? Maybe she can find some student housing that will allow a child. Or maybe she should just go back to her parents?
 
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Well, it's good to see that you are reading the advice and not taking offense to anything. I don't think that it's your fault he's hitting on you but next time use better judgment whenever any guy approaches you like that. When you don't speak up is when things can be misconstrued. (sp?) Plus, when you don't say stop or don't do that..guys take it as you like the comments/touchy feely and consider it flirting.

Focus on school and like someone mentioned...try to keep yourself out a situation like this in the future.

ETA: Good Luck!
 
DaPPeR said:
Damn...the ladies of LHCF :lachen:

Never ever tell your story here.
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Ain't that the truth...:nono:
Damn near told the girl she was asking for it.

I guess I'm the only one who ever had sex with a bf at his parent's house...:lachen:

Sweetie NONE of this is your fault. That man is an *** and he would have still been an *** if you didn't have sex with your bf while your are there. Some men are just plain triflin'. I think the first time he touched you, you should have put him in his place though. You live and you learn.
 
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DaPPeR said:
Damn...the ladies of LHCF :lachen:

Never ever tell your story here.
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LunadeMiel said:
Ain't that the truth...:nono:
Damn near told the girl she was asking for it.

I guess I'm the only one who ever had sex with a bf at his parent's house...:lachen:

Sweetie NONE of this is your fault. That man is an *** and he would have still been an *** if you didn't have sex with your bf while your are there. Some men are just plain triflin'. I think the first time he touched you, you should have put him in his place though. You live and you learn.
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That's the exact reason why I NEVER post anything personal up here that I don't want to share about my personal life (and that's far and few between).

OP, I know you want to help your friend but you need to distance yourself and stay out of this one. This is something that she will need to handle on her own, especially since it doesn't sound as if she's ready to cut ties with him as of yet.
 
LunadeMiel said:
Ain't that the truth...:nono:
Damn near told the girl she was asking for it.

I guess I'm the only one who ever had sex with a bf at his parent's house...:lachen:

Sweetie NONE of this is your fault. That man is an *** and he would have still been an *** if you didn't have sex with your bf while your are there. Some men are just plain triflin'. I think the first time he touched you, you should have put him in his place though. You live and you learn.
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I personally would not have sex in someone else's house, but that is just me. I guess I am kind of funny like that.

On the other hand some of the responses were a little harsh. I was all ready to tell this young lady to grow up until I read that she is only 19. This is what people her age do. They make mistakes and hopefully they learn from them. This person made a choice to touch her. He had no right and it was not her fault. Yea she made some bad choices regarding this situation but she is very young. I agree that none of this was her fault. Hopefully she will take the advice given and learn from this experience.
 
to the OP: I felt like you did the right thing, as far as telling her. Me, I would've kicked him smooth in the chest and then walked out and told her.

ok wait i didn't know you were 19. just remember the decisions you make are ones you have to live with. if you felt like sleeping with your man in their home was acceptable then hey to each his own. the aftermath is something you have to deal with. some people here r so quick to judge.

just because they were having sex or naked or whatever the case may be doesn't give him the right to walk in, then make a perverted comment afterwards. he needs his *** whooped.

eta: it's funny to me how people ask for advice and then other people tend to harp on other things in the situation that have nothing to do with what she needed help with in the first place and then make them feel terrible.
 
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so he just called me and asked what's wrong cuz she told him to call me. i told him that he needs to talk to her. she told him. he texted me and said that we're both grown enough that I should have told him and not her. I said my loyalties lie with her and I didnt have to say anything to you cuz you knew what you were doing and to leave me out of their business and to tell her to talk to him from now on and not me, i can't deal with this foolishness.
oh and she still isn't leaving.................hahaha i am not surprised
goddaughter or no goddaughter i'm done.
 
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