Separate But Together?
- Thread starter C@ssandr@
- Start date
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Yes in my family. Word on the street is that they've been divorced for years but no one knows. She still talks about him like he lives with her but he doesn't and she wears a ring. Mind you, he's a kang. Maybe she just wants to be able to make people at work think she's married. I have no idea.
It's uncomfortable. I never ask about him or talk about it. Very uncomfortable and no one dares to ask her what's the deal lol
It's uncomfortable. I never ask about him or talk about it. Very uncomfortable and no one dares to ask her what's the deal lol
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
God_Favor
Well-Known Member
I know. I have a co-worker/friend in common with the wife. This friends says she calls him her husband and aways gets him a take out meal every time they go out for dinner ....
I will be the lone dissenter here in that I dont find anything wrong with it some of the time. I am just trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who is married a long time, but finds themselves growing and expanding outside of their spouse. I imagine that some of these people are comfortable with one another and still see their spouses as "home" regardless of changing while in the marriage. In that case, they may choose to remain together, though not in the traditional sense to other people. I can see how that would happen to some people and I wouldnt automatically call it "sad" or feel bad for that person. that can be a little condescending to assume that because they arent my ideal that they cant be happy or secure in their own way. I think its actually a little odd to assume people and relationships will be and remain the same for 30+ years.
sunnieb
Well-Known Member
I've been in a relationship with the same man going on 26 years now. Absolutely we aren't the same carefree teens we used to be.
We are so much more. It's hard to explain, but it is. We've survived so much ish and also some pretty terrific times as well. Each of us had had to carry the burden of keeping the household running when the other couldn't for whatever reason.
We've grown up together and have a closeness that we can't find with anyone else.
It is sad when you are married and can't rely on the other person to be there if and when you need them.
A marriage of companionship, agreed to by both parties, is a whole different ballgame. While not "traditional", both people are receiving a perceived benefit.
I don't think that's what the OP was referring to if I read it right.
We are so much more. It's hard to explain, but it is. We've survived so much ish and also some pretty terrific times as well. Each of us had had to carry the burden of keeping the household running when the other couldn't for whatever reason.
We've grown up together and have a closeness that we can't find with anyone else.
It is sad when you are married and can't rely on the other person to be there if and when you need them.
A marriage of companionship, agreed to by both parties, is a whole different ballgame. While not "traditional", both people are receiving a perceived benefit.
I don't think that's what the OP was referring to if I read it right.
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
I have seen this and they are now finally going through a divorce to end 27 year old marriage.
Half of which or more the wife was miserable.
He never attended any of her art openings.
In the beginning when they first started dating and throughout the marriage he rarely entered the parents or family's house when they came over.
She would come in and he would sit in the car.
He even let her carry a box down the stairs and to the car while she was pregnant.
Then he just opened the car door from the drivers seat instead of getting out of the car and opening the door for her.
He won money in a class action lawsuit but spent the money on a brand new pick up truck instead of getting a van to drive his wife and 5 kids.
Half of which or more the wife was miserable.
He never attended any of her art openings.
In the beginning when they first started dating and throughout the marriage he rarely entered the parents or family's house when they came over.
She would come in and he would sit in the car.
He even let her carry a box down the stairs and to the car while she was pregnant.
Then he just opened the car door from the drivers seat instead of getting out of the car and opening the door for her.
He won money in a class action lawsuit but spent the money on a brand new pick up truck instead of getting a van to drive his wife and 5 kids.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
Smh.
Farida
Well-Known Member
I know a couple from CA. Their daughter got married and moved to the Midwest. The mom did not want her grandkids in daycare so she moved. Hubby wanted nothing to do with the Midwest. So they maintained two homes and traveled occasionally and on holidays. I was sure they were tired of each other but too traditional to get divorced. Her health began to decline and he sold their home and moved to the Midwest with her so who knows...
krikit96
Well-Known Member
I mean, if folks are really wanting to know, it's public record... it can be looked up so easily. But that's a little bit too far, like why pry? I know some people are nosey, but speculating about another couples relationship and what's going on behind closed doors... ? Like, it's behind closed doors for privacy... for a reason! Lol...
I have looked online and I see my first marriage shows I divorced him... it's court records... if folks just GOTTA know, it's nothing but a click away...
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
In my case I'm more concerned about my cousins wellbeing. for all I know, they're both beards. But if you come by all the family gatherings looking wonton with cock and bull stories about where your husband is, I'm naturally going to be concerned.
krikit96
Well-Known Member
Beards? What does that mean, sorry... I'm lost... I just burst out laughing in my office tho... lol
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
Closeted gays may keep a woman on their arm to keep the "straight man" facade. The woman in this case is a beard.
*cough Tyler Perry cough*
krikit96
Well-Known Member
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