Saddened by the Unpopular Hair Opinions Thread

[Sharpened]

I should have known better though, as easy as my own feelings are to hurt. I just deleted my posts in there.

Actually, your post talking about clarifying before starting new products was a good point to make (especially with so many products containing ingredients that coat the hair). Even through all the negativity, I did see some good things come up and that is what I looked for while reading.

 

[1QTPie]

I said don't be so sensitive because you can't control how other people are going to view or judge you, but you can control how you respond to it and allow it to make you feel. People are going to be how they are and say what they want even if it hurts others. BUT you can chose not to allow that to get you down. That's what I said it, I don't know why anyone else said it.

 

[plove]

I hope everyone in here is doing what is making them happy.
I have these box braids in my hair as some of you know.
I put in them in in April and I'm not taking them out until Nov
I tried to redo them but there are to many braids so i gave up.
I was told by some women in this forum that what I'm doing to my hair will cause it to brake and it will be dry ect.........
But I don't care what anyone say I'm going to do what I want to do.
I think y'all should do the same.
If you want to put 50 million pics in your album then do it.
If only 2 hair stands is touching your bra and you want to say you are at BSL then say it who is going to stop you.


The point is do and say what makes you happy but
I don't think it's wise to lie to your self so don't do that.

 

[Parvathi]

I said don't be so sensitive because you can't control how other people are going to view or judge you, but you can control how you respond to it and allow it to make you feel. People are going to be how they are and say what they want even if it hurts others. BUT you can chose not to allow that to get you down. That's what I said it, I don't know why anyone else said it.

Big arse co-sign.

I read the thread and alot of those suggestions needed to be said. I would only make one request and say that folks should specify WHO they are referring to so that everyone else doesn't have to wonder "is it me they're speaking about?"

 

[babyanjel]

Yeah, that thread made me hurt just a teeny bit, when someone commented on why be natural if you're just going to press 100% of the time... just relax it and get it over with...or something like that. That comment felt like a direct hit my way. Maybe it was just because I didn't realize that you have to explain the reason why you wear your hair a certain way...like the fact that your allergic to most relaxers. *cough* just had to get that out there.

But in any case, while this board is very informative and a useful resource, that is why I stay out of most discussions or don't even read the thread all together.

This is a forum, there will always be a variety of opinions.
Just adding my 2 cents.

 

[so1913]

Big arse co-sign.

I read the thread and alot of those suggestions needed to be said. I would only make one request and say that folks should specify WHO they are referring to so that everyone else doesn't have to wonder "is it me they're speaking about?"

If that's the route to be taken, it should be taken privately via PM. I don't see the point in making a thread and specifically putting members on "blast" or calling them out on what you may considier "ridiculous" to the entire board in regards to their personal actions, techniques, fotki albums, choices, etc. That's just not cool.

 

[sunnyjohn]

If that's the route to be taken, it should be taken privately via PM. I don't see the point in making a thread and specifically putting members on "blast" or calling them out on what you may considier "ridiculous" to the entire board in regards to their personal actions, techniques, fotki albums, choices, etc. That's just not cool.

I concur. Work it out like adults in private.

 

[Priss Pot]

Great! I just didn't want you to walk away thinking i was talking about you-- or anyone else specifically. In fact, I was surprised when you felt called out b/c on my computer, you look more of a reddish/golden tone than the platinum blonde I was thinking when I said blonde isn't for everybody. I've never seen anyone on the board with the blonde I was referring to unless I missed it, thats why I felt it was safe to go there. . . . but it was obviously a grave miscalculation on my part. Thanks for accepting my apology

Yeah, my hair can look darker/lighter/brighter/reddish/goldish in various lightings. Like right now, I'm wearing rollersets, and that really makes my color "pop." The ends of my curls look gold, like goldilocks. So, when you said "blonde," I just figured you meant any shade of blonde from dark to platinum.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

That thread was unnecessary and was meant to subtly call out folx.

 

[Shaniquah]

I agree, Macherie...I happen to have a few pics of the back of my head and I really don't mind looking at the same pic in everyone else's fotki because I LOVE HAIR, I love everyone's hair, I love staring at the same dang pic up close, far, blurry, however you want to show me, I'll look at it! I enjoy using 15 different product lines, I enjoy reading about those who try any and everything on their scalp, even though I just oil mine....If ya got 1/4 of an inch of growth, girl I'll check out your new growth pic!!!!! I love natural hair, hair relaxed by lye and no-lye, blond hair, green hair (hey, whatever works for ya) A newbie can teach me something, an old head can as well...

 

[~Nigeria~]

An opinion is just what it is, An opinion. You can agree or disagree. You can have THREE strands of hair touching your bra-strap and call it waist-length if you'd like, but I beg to differ. And I don't feel like one should always have to justify or apologize for their thoughts or opinions on this board every 5 minutes. If anything, that is what "irk's" me! What is the crime in agreeing to disagree and moving on. Oh that's right, so long as no one get's offended.

 

[pet]

Yeah, that thread made me hurt just a teeny bit, when someone commented on why be natural if you're just going to press 100% of the time... just relax it and get it over with...or something like that. That comment felt like a direct hit my way. Maybe it was just because I didn't realize that you have to explain the reason why you wear your hair a certain way...like the fact that your allergic to most relaxers. *cough* just had to get that out there.

But in any case, while this board is very informative and a useful resource, that is why I stay out of most discussions or don't even read the thread all together.

This is a forum, there will always be a variety of opinions.
Just adding my 2 cents.

LOL...you know, that post got me a little bit annoyed too. I don't perm my hair because I just don't like perms! I have many friends where their hair dropped out because they couldn't keep the perm up. There is a lot that comes with having a perm, and most people do not or cannot perm their hair themselves so they have to result in going to the salon.

I would rather press my hair on a low setting myself, and be happy with it. Also, I can vary how "pressed" I want my hair to be. Sometimes I just want it a little bit straight so I can manage it.

I think we all need to respect other people's way of doing or taking care of their hair. What works for you works for you, and what works for me, works for me.

 

[wadadligyal]

Why y'all read and contributed after the first page is beyond me. But why take something personal that may or may not be directed toward you anyway? Who careswhat other people think, especially if it's something negative. Get thicker skin, swing your hair and keep it moving.

ITA People are gonna say things here that you may not like but you can't take everything personal. Most of us are grown women and yes we should all respect each other but you really can't tell people what to say. Also in life we all hear things that we don't like but that does not mean you crawl into a hole and die, no you pick yourself up hold your head high and move on. If we begin to take everything people say to heart then we would be one depressed bunch. Common guys take everything with a grain of salt and move on. I guess I'm a bit more thick skinned that others but like I said we all have our personal hair goals and we can't let every seemingly negative comment get us down.
Keep growing ladies!!!!!!

 

[Cichelle]

I didn't really understand that thread. I personally couldn't care less if someone presses their hair all of the time or when they decide to call their hair a certain length. It doesn't have any effect on my hair or my journey.

But I guess people needed to vent about those things for some reason. The thread was fairly predictable, though...as was the way it made some people feel.

 

[tenderheaded]

Thank you Macherie, for voicing a concern of mine. I am neither blond, natural, nor calling 3 strands bra strap but I felt the sting of what was being said.

My interpretation of the thread was unpopular hair opinions that work. If blond, natural, or 3 strand bra strap works for you then great. LHCF is often attacked for provoking "ugliness" by some other boards. This was the first time I felt a tinge of truth

 

[isioma85]

I didn't expect the Unpopular Opinions thread to go in the subtle direction it did. I posted there, and all my sentences began with "I". As in I do this, and though everyone clamours that it's wrong, it works for me. I thought everyone would post that way. All the stuff about Fotki pictures and 20 strands and texlaxing, I was lost on that stuff. I won't hate on anyone's hair growing methods and length measurement, directly or indirectly. Just as I'm doing what works for me, they're doing what works for them. Whether they're blonde, naturally pressed, relaxed, texlaxed, TexMex, or otherwise.

 

[Parvathi]

An opinion is just what it is, An opinion. You can agree or disagree. You can have THREE strands of hair touching your bra-strap and call it waist-length if you'd like, but I beg to differ. And I don't feel like one should always have to justify or apologize for their thoughts or opinions on this board every 5 minutes. If anything, that is what "irk's" me! What is the crime in agreeing to disagree and moving on. Oh that's right, so long as no one get's offended.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. There seems to be alot of "softies" on this board who wish for the more assertive to keep their opinions to themselves. To the despair of these members, that won't be happening anytime soon.

 

[MzOptimistic]

I think some of that stuff needed to be said. Personally I don't mind 20 strands below BS, or a thousand passwords, but I like knowing it peeves other people. I also liked knowing who shares who's mentality. That was beyond cool. I was like, whoa, people here are even grumpy about that same stuff I'm grumpy about. That's cool, right? I felt closer to the board. I realize I'm in the minority on this one, but I'm also sure somebody is going as they read along.

Sareca,

You are absolutely right...some of that stuff did needed to be said about the 50 letters passwords ( Iwantmyhairtobewaistlengthbyfebruary2008), or the same password for different folders...that is just crazy.....but I did not get offended by stuff like that...we joke like that in our family.....but some people are more sensitive than others but that was right up my alley....I do alot of things that was mentioned....but if it was funny I laughed....I bun...I co wash....I'm in luv with my bunnnnnnssss....but like bernie mac said "they was just saying what a lot of people are thinking"...but it did get kind of nasty....I did not post any comments in there because I knew it was going to come to this...but I did post laughing icons because hell they was funny....what is the moral of this lesson ladies?....do not have a 50 letter password, do not have the same password for different albums, do not update your folki every 3 weeks, and the NUMBER #1 LESSON....be sensitive to others feelings .....because we are all in this together....to accomplish our hair goals......

 

[sareca]

Sareca,

You are absolutely right...some of that stuff did needed to be said about the 50 letters passwords ( Iwantmyhairtobewaistlengthbyfebruary2008), or the same password for different folders...that is just crazy.....but I did not get offended by stuff like that...we joke like that in our family.....but some people are more sensitive than others but that was right up my alley....I do alot of things that was mentioned....but if it was funny I laughed....I bun...I co wash....I'm in luv with my bunnnnnnssss....but like bernie mac said "they was just saying what a lot of people are thinking"...but it did get kind of nasty....I did not post any comments in there because I knew it was going to come to this...but I did post laughing icons because hell they was funny....what is the moral of this lesson ladies?....do not have a 50 letter password, do not have the same password for different albums, do not update your folki every 3 weeks, and the NUMBER #1 LESSON....be sensitive to others feelings .....because we are all in this together....to accomplish our hair goals......

You got that too? Thank YOU! I want people to look in my album and I hadn't thought about that stuff. Now I know and I think that's a good thing.

 

[MzTami]

I feel the thread had opinions as well as bashing other's hair care techniques.

I think what saddened me the most is the people that I "highly admire" were participating.

 

[MzTami]

I feel the thread had opinions as well as bashing other's hair care techniques.

I think what saddened me the most is the people that I "highly admire" were participating.

 

[~Nigeria~]

Thank you Macherie, for voicing a concern of mine. I am neither blond, natural, nor calling 3 strands bra strap but I felt the sting of what was being said.

My interpretation of the thread was unpopular hair opinions that work. If blond, natural, or 3 strand bra strap works for you then great. LHCF is often attacked for provoking "ugliness" by some other boards. This was the first time I felt a tinge of truth

It's funny you said this comment because on this other hair board where I got the thread from, they mocked an un-named bord saying, "I'm so glad that we can have a thread like this with no fighting. If this were started on another borad, all hell would break loose". Go figure.

Members are posting their opinions in the Unpopular Thread with no petty bickering or arguing and I'd like to keep it that way cause that's not why I started it. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone is trying to start drama or "insult" people when they start a thread.

 

[BabyImaStarr]

I don't know about anyone esle, but I keep my fotki for my own records. I don't see why it would matter how many times a person updates or how many pictures of the back of their own head they have in their own album. It is for their records. The rest of us have the option of looking... or not

 

[Supergirl]

Macherie,

This is a nice thread and I'm totally feeling you. I get great joy from affirming my sisters, not just on the board but period. I'd rather not see black women running other black women down.

 

[Britfem27]

that was nice of you to post this thread. I didn't read that thread but I didn't think it was slagging ppl off. I thought you were meant to write down the bad advice that you have received before coming to LHCF. So you are right that is sad.

 

[Kimberly]

Im not gonna lie. I was slightly bothered by the Unpopular Hair Opinions thread last night. It started off nice enough and was started with good intentions. But after a while, I started getting saddened by some of the comments. Making comments about how many photos people have in their fotkis, not truly having enough hair to make bra strap length, when you should have update photos, what determines “true texturized and natural hair”, I mean it just seemed a way to indirectly attack members of the board without telling them to their face. Im sure there were plenty of people reading these comments who felt horrible and embarassed.

Its easy to say, “don’t be so sensitive” or “I wasn’t talking about you” but we are all sensitive about our hair. We are WOMEN. If someone talks about a “detailed product heavy regimen” or “just because you have long hair doesn’t mean you should give advice” naturally Im gonna think you are talking about me.

Lets all remember that we are all in different stages of hair growth and experimentation. Can we try to not make judgments about each other’s regimens, signatures, fotkis or styling preferences? This includes me. I commented on the thread and if I offended anyone, I apologize. We are all here to learn from each other. I always felt like this is board built on applauding efforts, not criticizing decisions.

I made something similar to the bolded part on the other thread...I was not speaking about anyone in particular. For the most part, I do not pay enough attention to any particular poster to really keep track of who says what (as in "girl, didn't you say last week that you were using egg yolks in your conditioner, etc). I'm not paying that much attention. But, maybe what I should have said was, just because someone has long hair doesn't mean that everyone needs to follow their regimen or their advice. That goes back to what works for some doesn't always work for others. There is such a variety of hair textures and genetics...even the hard water where I live affects the effectiveness of some products... so it can't be any other way.

I've seen posts from shorter haired ladies go ignored while similar posts from longer haired ladies will have all kinds of views and posts. I don't think I'm the only one that has noticed this.

There is more I could say but I won't because I don't want to risk anyone taking anything I say personally. It's not about any one person it was just my obviously unpopular opinion.

I will say that, when I was reading through the posts, I did see a couple of things that I was guilty of. I didn't take it personally. I even fessed up to one of them on the thread. And, if I happen to get blessed with only 20 strands touching brastrap, I'm claiming it Actually, since it seems to be growing in a V-shape, there may only be 20 strands touching to start off with but it will be 20 more than I ever had touching it in my life.

 

[dreysonsmommy2011]

I would just like to add my two cents and say that the opinions that people posted on the other thread wasn't meant to hurt anyones feeling it was just what they believed. I posted on the thread and my opinions were not soley based on lhcf. It was based on women that I encounter on a daily basis or things that I see women do to their hair that makes me wanna say . Also there are alot of women here that had short hair by choice like myself. I am just recently growing it out and i am making great progress. I think if your hair is healthy no matter what the length that qualifies you to give advice on hair.

 

[Tee]

I did post about some bra-strap length pics not looking full bra strap (and I still stand by that, but I do agree that I should've said it differently, or maybe not have said anything at all, I definitely wasn't nice in the way I said it, and for that I am sorry for that remark and offending anyone. ) And someone posted that some of us have jacked up ends that need to be trimmed (and my ends do need to be trimmed, but when I'm ready to have them done, lol!) And a couple of people also posted that some of the Fotki's aren't all that (my pics are nothing to write home about, either, but hey, no one's perfect, and if they don't like my album, that's their choice.)

The one thing that did bother me is that someone posted about just because someone has long hair, everyone shouldn't flock to them for advice. I totally disagree with that. Nothing against the short haired ladies, either, because I know they have some great hair care advice as well, but there's a goal I'm trying to reach here with my hair, in regards to its health and length, and if I see someone with long, healthy hair, you better believe I'm going to read what they do to their hair and seek their advice to get it the length they got it, to get it healthy, etc. because they're obviously doing something that I need to be doing, in order to get my hair to the length of theirs, that I wasn't doing previously before coming here to this board.

So perhaps, things did get a little out of hand, but that will happen when you have a message board as large as this one, things like this are bound to happen. I didn't agree with everyone's opinions on there, just like I know some people won't agree with mine, and that's fine, we're all adults.

Sistaslick, you better not go anywhere! I don't think your post was meant to call anyone out, nor did I take offense, because it's true, blonde hair does not look good on everyone (I once bleached my hair, and yikes! )

First of all, I must say if my comment hurt anyone feelings, I am more than willing to say sorry for that. I think sometimes if you don’t’ type a book you might get misunderstood. I think this is the point here. Maybe what I said came off harsh. My Point is.....There are a lot of ladies here who don’t have hair down to theirs butt. They have good advice just like the longhaired ladies. I feel like sometimes some of their comments get missed because people only pay attention to people with long hair. (or their post get looked over) If you have healthy hair, I pay attention. I might find something that will help me. I love to read post from Honey Dew, Bubblnbrown, SO1913, and a few ladies I can’t think of the names right now. All I am saying is, I will read what they are saying and not just ignore it because I don’t see hair down to their butts. I am interested in healthy. I am sure if a few of these ladies were to straighten their hair it would be really long. (not saying you need to)

So no, my intent was not to call out anyone. I love looking at the ladies with long hair also. (Sistaslick, Candy_C, and of course you Macherieamour). I have long hair. I just want to make sure mine stays Healthy. So maybe that is what I should have typed the first time to make myself clear.

 

[Tee]

I would just like to add my two cents and say that the opinions that people posted on the other thread wasn't meant to hurt anyones feeling it was just what they believed. I posted on the thread and my opinions were not soley based on lhcf. It was based on women that I encounter on a daily basis or things that I see women do to their hair that makes me wanna say . Also there are alot of women here that had short hair by choice like myself. I am just recently growing it out and i am making great progress. I think if your hair is healthy no matter what the length that qualifies you to give advice on hair.

Nikkipoo I see we posted about the same time and that is exactly what I meant.

The bolded part is true also.

 

[sylver2]

I did post about some bra-strap length pics not looking full bra strap (and I still stand by that, but I do agree that I should've said it differently, or maybe not have said anything at all, I definitely wasn't nice in the way I said it, and for that I am sorry for that remark and offending anyone. ) And someone posted that some of us have jacked up ends that need to be trimmed (and my ends do need to be trimmed, but when I'm ready to have them done, lol!) And a couple of people also posted that some of the Fotki's aren't all that (my pics are nothing to write home about, either, but hey, no one's perfect, and if they don't like my album, that's their choice.)

The one thing that did bother me is that someone posted about just because someone has long hair, everyone shouldn't flock to them for advice. I totally disagree with that. Nothing against the short haired ladies, either, because I know they have some great hair care advice as well, but there's a goal I'm trying to reach here with my hair, in regards to its health and length, and if I see someone with long, healthy hair, you better believe I'm going to read what they do to their hair and seek their advice to get it the length they got it, to get it healthy, etc. because they're obviously doing something that I need to be doing, in order to get my hair to the length of theirs, that I wasn't doing previously before coming here to this board.

So perhaps, things did get a little out of hand, but that will happen when you have a message board as large as this one, things like this are bound to happen. I didn't agree with everyone's opinions on there, just like I know some people won't agree with mine, and that's fine, we're all adults.

Sistaslick, you better not go anywhere! I don't think your post was meant to call anyone out, nor did I take offense, because it's true, blonde hair does not look good on everyone (I once bleached my hair, and yikes! )

Yes that bothered me very much also.. made me really want to keep quiet