Relocating for a relationship.....

[shortycocoa]

I think you should do it! My husband and I met at work and we started dating maybe a month later. I spent the night one night and never left.

It's not like he wanted me to, anyway. About 7 months into the relationship he got a job in a different city and we were talking about the possibility of spending the rest of our lives together.

Needless to say, everybody and their mama was telling me not to go unless he proposed and got me a ring. I went without either and we continued our relationship.

We got married last year.

Whenever the anniversary of our move comes around, we think back on it and he asks me if I would have done it all over again with him. I said yes and asked him for his answer to that same question, and he said yes.

 

[FlowerHair]

Do it!
As long as you have a place of your own, you'll be alright. And make sure to make new friends so that if for whatever reason you would break up you still have some friends to talk to and do stuff with.

Life is short, we have to take chances every now and then.
Good luck!

 

[1QTPie]

Do it. The worst that can happen is you break up. You live once, you're young. Do it.

 

[ArrrBeee]

Do it. Just get your own place. If it doesn't work out, so what. You have a degree, you are marketable and hopefully you have some money in the bank. Tomorrow isn't promised. Enjoy yourself.

 

[CarLiTa]

I agree with the other ladies who say "do it."
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders in terms of expectations of where the relationship might go + the benefits of moving extend beyond the growth of the relationship.

My only question is: why wait up to a year to make the move? On my end, it would be 8 months tops, so long as I can find a job. LDRs are difficult and 365 days apart are enough to strain/stunt a relationship. I'd begin exploring job opportunities CASUALLY now, and then more persistently after I visit him a couple of months after he makes the move.

 

[deltagyrl]

Ahh, sounds like you have a plan in place. Good luck with the move and you will absolutely be able to find a job as an RN. I moved all over the country as a nurse with relative ease.

I's tired now, but what a ride!

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Im still considered a new nurse because I have less than a years experience under my belt. So I'd rather stay at my job and finish the year out and learn as much as i can before venturing out. This way I can get a better picture of what areas Id like to apply to shall I decide to move. Also, I wouldnt be considered for a lot of positions right now because Im "new".

I agree with the other ladies who say "do it."
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders in terms of expectations of where the relationship might go + the benefits of moving extend beyond the growth of the relationship.

My only question is: why wait up to a year to make the move? On my end, it would be 8 months tops, so long as I can find a job. LDRs are difficult and 365 days apart are enough to strain/stunt a relationship. I'd begin exploring job opportunities CASUALLY now, and then more persistently after I visit him a couple of months after he makes the move.

 

[Mane Event]

This posting could not have come at a better time!!!! I'm in the EXACT same situation!!! Fairly short relationship (5 months). I know what I want in a relationship and so does he and a long-term LDR isn't going to cut it!

We've been doing the LDR for 1 month now and it's very difficult. It's great to hear all the success stories b/c unfortunately your friends & family will advise against this (esp without a ring). I'm 27, he's 29! Not getting any younger! No kids, transferable job, and I'm not in a city where there's an abundance of young, single, ambitious black men. I found a great catch and I definitely think he's worth it! He's willing to move out here but I'd rather re-locate b/c I've been in this city my entire life...I'm over it!

I'm considering making the big move by the end of 2010. My biggest concern is keeping my identity and meeting my own friends. I love being with him but I also value my personal time. I've known my good friends for 15+ years, so I tend to keep new ppl at an arms length....

Ladies who have been through this before...How did you meet new people????

 

[NaturalPath]

I am iffy on this because of the fact that I do not consider 4 months a long time at all. I would move only if you honestly feel like the relationship has potential to last for a long time. If not then you still have your career going for you and a change in scenery may do you good.

I hope you pick the right decision for yourself OP

 

[ArrrBeee]

This posting could not have come at a better time!!!! I'm in the EXACT same situation!!! Fairly short relationship (5 months). I know what I want in a relationship and so does he and a long-term LDR isn't going to cut it!

We've been doing the LDR for 1 month now and it's very difficult. It's great to hear all the success stories b/c unfortunately your friends & family will advise against this (esp without a ring). I'm 27, he's 29! Not getting any younger! No kids, transferable job, and I'm not in a city where there's an abundance of young, single, ambitious black men. I found a great catch and I definitely think he's worth it! He's willing to move out here but I'd rather re-locate b/c in this city my entire life...I'm over it!

I'm considering making the big move by the end of 2010. My biggest concern is keeping my identify and meeting my own friends. I love being with him but I also value my personal time. I've known my good friends for 15+ years, so I tend to keep new ppl at an arms length....

Ladies who have been through this before...How did you meet new people????

I met people at work. I would look to join Meetup groups, you could volunteer, or if you are religious you could join a singles Sunday school class.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

@ Mane event I plan to try out for another NFL cheerleading squad shall i make it, that friends and social scene galore

 

[Zaynab]

I'm late on this sorry...

If I were you, I would move. You're young and single, no kids, why not. Also just from some side conversations I've had with you- I think you are level headed enough to make the move and not basing the move completely on SO. I would only advise that specific to the person

I think that after the situation with tryouts this may be the new change and direction you were looking for. Since you're OK with being in this new city if the relationship doesn't work out, you're NOT moving to just be with SO. I'm not a shacker advocate but I think it's good for people to date and be in the same city and be with each other. I'd say continue to pursue the nursing, get your own place and see what happens. Even if it's just a room to rent, you keep your sense of self, independence until he puts a ring on it

 

[MuseofTroy]

So I just found out that my SO will most likely be moving out of state to take a job as an assistant professor at a college.... In exchange he will get a nice salary and they will pay for the rest of his law school...which is a good deal for him because he is an international student and his tutition is bananas right now.

We've been together for 4 months and things are going really well. So he asked me would i eventually consider moving there to see if things would work out and right now Im leaning towards yes.

I know a lot of people say wait until Im enagaged and we have talked about that. However, I wanted to move anyway regardless if Im with him or not. Right now Im an RN and I figured after I get some more experience I can apply for a job there and see what happens, or become a travel nurse and take different assignments in that area and see how we do.

If it doesnt work out I can leave, due to the type of job I have it wont be too difficult to find another area to work or move back home.

Stupid? yes no maybe so?

Unless the move is beneficial to you, I would not change my whole life over a boyfriend. If he is seriously considering marriage then I would consider that. I know long distance relationships that lead to marriage. If he is a serious, respectful, and kind man he wouldn't violate your trust just because he is far away. If you do decide to move, secure a job and learn about the area.