Raising a son as a single mother

[proudofmynaps]

Do you think it is possible to raise a son as a single mother without his father in his life (his choice)? Most people have stated a woman can't teach a man to be a man but a man. Do you agree with this? I'm worried because I'm raising a son by myself without help. Do anyone have any books I could read on this matter.

Let this be a friendly thread. It's a new year so let start off positive. Happy new year everyone.

 

[Bublin]

If the Father is not around then I don't see what choice you have but to raise him without a father.
A 2 parent household is always best but if it's not possible you just have to get on with it. What other option do you have?

Many boys have been raised by their Mother and have become great, responsible adults.

Male family members also play a part as role models - a close Uncle, Grandparent, family friend.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

Maybe dad's family would be interested in bonding with your son even if he isn't in the picture.

 

[Holla]

Never say never. I know a few single mothers who got married later on and their husbands are helping to raise their kids, although the kid is not biologically theirs.

I don't believe a woman can raise a boy to be a man if she desires for him to live according to certain gender roles in relationships. If she is ok with him being more equalitarian in his relationships, then her son will be fine.

At the end of the day, just do the best you can with the deck you've been given. Many divorced women didn't plan to be single mothers but they found themselves in that position anyway.

 

[UmSumayyah]

I would, as others have said, try to involve male relatives like uncles, grandfathers, etc. as much as possible.

I believe 100 black men does mentoring programs, you may want to look into that.

Do the best you can, keep a positive attitude. You may surprise yourself.


And as previously posted, I have known of women who got married as single mothers to men who raised their kids as their own. So that is another option for you.

 

[TayMac]

Yes it is possible just not ideal. It may be different or more difficult but not impossible. You just have to be more creative as far as making sure he has some positive male influences.

I don't know how old your child is but maybe your ex husband will have a change of heart and decide to active in his life.

 

[cherryhair123]

Raised two boys both are in college now, never been in any trouble-it can be done and done well but my advice is to keep them in church and keep God first! My youngest son told me I did a great job of raising them and he wants to raise his future kids the same way. I'm telling you all it wasn't me...God did it!!! Simple things done on my part through God's grace...early on and throughout high school I kept them involved in sports, boys scouts, etc. It gave them an opportunity to have positive male role models through their coaches and for these men to speak words of affirmation directly to them. In my case the men in my family could use some mentoring themselves-sad truth. Also, always encouraged them not to focus on what they didn't have but what they did. We traveled a great deal and visited museums and other cultural events often.

 

[Highly Favored8]

My ex husband and I divorced when our son turned two. Praise God my son's family stepped up and my brothers. It's not easy you have to have good and very trusted support.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Raised two boys both are in college now, never been in any trouble-it can be done and done well but my advice is to keep them in church and keep God first! My youngest son told me I did a great job of raising them and he wants to raise his kids the same way. I'm telling you all it wasn't me...God did it!!!
Simple things done on my part through God's grace...early on and throughout high school I kept them involved in sports, boys scouts, etc. It gave them an opportunity to have positive male role models through their coaches and for these men to speak words of affirmation directly to them. Also, always encouraged them not to focus on what they didn't have but what they did. We traveled a great deal and visited
museums and other cultural events often.

I second this post. Yes!

 

[proudofmynaps]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. Ex husband family live in another state and have not even call once to see or talk to him. They have not express any interest. My uncle is very involve. My son goes to church weekly even though he is only one.

I know it can be done but just wanted to hear others point of view.

 

[FelaShrine]

I would, as others have said, try to involve male relatives like uncles, grandfathers, etc. as much as possible.

I believe 100 black men does mentoring programs, you may want to look into that.

Do the best you can, keep a positive attitude. You may surprise yourself.

I completely agree with bolded.

Good luck OP.

 

[LiftedUp]

I think it would be great to pose this question to men who grew up in a similar situation.

 

[Farida]

My DH grew up without his dad and he had very strong and very involved male role models who made him the man he is today. A woman can raise a man, but IMHO a good man does a better job. As women there are things about being a boy or man we cannot relate to and will never really understand.

 

[Farida]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. Ex husband family live in another state and have not even call once to see or talk to him. They have not express any interest. My uncle is very involve. My son goes to church weekly even though he is only one. I know it can be done but just wanted to hear others point of view.

See if there is a local big-brother program you can get him into. My DH's big brother actually married us!