Professional Ladies: Would You Date a Man Who is Still in School?

[sunshinebeautiful]

One thing I wanted to say about Barack and Michelle, and I know this is going to get me stoned, but I think it's important after re-reading your thread. I think the advice you gave is excellent. But.....when Michelle met Barack, he was ALREADY at HARVARD LAW SCHOOL, which is #2 law school in the country. Also, he was the PRESIDENT of the Harvard Law Review. No offense, but Barack is the intellectual equivalent of dating the star athlete at a Big 10 school, where there have been several Heisman trophy winners IMO. I know Michelle took an absolute risk, so I don't negate that. However, Michelle had some comfort. My friend's situation is similar, yet still different. Technically, this guy hasn't even gotten into law school (although I'm sure based on what she said that he will). Not that she cares, but I don't know if he's going to Harvard or that calibur school(and I know that doesn't matter). Just wanted to give another way of looking at it. I think it's important to see this from all angles

THANK YOU for this post!!!! Shoot, my arse was working on a Ph.D. driving a broke down Toyota Corolla.

A broke law school student (and a rising star at that!) is one thing... Dating someone who "is looking" to do XYZ but ain't done **** yet - and banking on him actually going to (and finishing) grad school - when it's YEAAAAARRRRRS down the line is NOT a good dating criteria.

There's too many men out there that would be a better fit for me to try to force this one. No thanks.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

I feel you, Bunny. As a professional black woman (attorney) myself, I had basically the same reaction to Hill Harper's comment as you did ("whatever, Hill... how do you know?"). And I agree that Michelle did not take the same type of risk that OP's friend might possibly take. In fact, I never actually mentioned that Michelle took a huge risk at all; only that, like possibly OP's friend, Michelle chose to date potential. And although being a soon-to-be Harvard Law grad makes potential success possibly more likely than a person recently getting their bachelor's, there's no guarantee there-- I know a few people who have squandered/are squandering similar potential. Barack certainly did not but, the point is, dating potential always involves some type of chance, no matter how small that chance might be in each case. I'm not trying to qualify OP's friend's level of risk for her (I don't think any of us have enough information to do that), nor am I trying to say whether or not it's like Michelle's. Ole dude might not be the next Barack, but he might just be worth it, and she should take the time to figure that out for herself rather than automatically writing him off b/c he's in school.

OT, but Hill's comment is funny to me. Ain't he a Harvard grad himself? (I can't remember which one). He himself is so far away from these images of Black men he's invoking YET he still cramming this mess down Black women's throats. C'mon now.

 

[theAlist]

Barack WAS a first year law student. I remember because Michelle said it was UNHEARD OF for a first year law student to get a summer associate position at the Sidley law firm.

Now...this of course separates the two stories more rather than bring them together because it shows just how "DIFFERENT" Barack was and how much potential he had. Also Michelle was about 25 when she was put in charge of him at the law firm (she herself was a brand new associate). So I'm not sure how much older your friend is, but yea looks like Michelle had room age wise to take a 'risk' and she also wasn't thinking about marriage. She also still lived with her parents so.....I think the situations are very different.

 

[PJaye]

wow, can't believe this thread. If he is truly in school and he is a good man otherwise, what is the problem? Maybe he had a late start or circumstances that prevented him from starting school at 18? I'm starting to see why so many women are single.

ITA!!!

ETA: It is more about the content of a man's character, than his current socioeconomic portfolio, I feel.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Depending on the program he is enrolled in and how my schedule will be working with a career it would be difficult. A students life does not have a set schedule or stability and Im over that aspect of my life.

 

[newbiemom]

She should date but don't press for anything serious. I dont think she should financially support him. Let him take out loans for that and if they get married in 4 years then they can pay them off together but he has already proved himself not to be a gold digger.