Passion or logic? Which do you choose?

[Duchesse]

If there's a similar thread, please link!

Hypothetical..Let's say you have a choice between two partners. Both want to be in a committed relationship with you.

One you have a passionate, roller coaster ride of emotions connection with. The type when it's good it's amazing, but you have dramatic blow ups with. But you're both in love...albeit it's messy. Life with them would be a bit unconventional.

The other it's more of a grounded type of relationship. Their more stable, grounded, you get along well, but there lacks that same intensity. Life with then would probably be more traditional and neat.

Who would you choose and why?

 

[MizAvalon]

I would go for the logical one.

I'm too old for roller coaster relationships.

 

[Briabiggles]

Logic. I'd rather have someone I can count on 100% than someone that could leave me high and dry. I don't want drama. I want boring, predictable, normal.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Logic. Passion can be developed.

 

[Radianthealth]

Logic

I think that is what DH and I have, We don't like drama and I don't feel like I am missing out on anything, roller coaster relationships never looked like fun to me

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I'ma go with logic.

That said, passion doesn't have to be destructive.

 

[tinkat]

Definitely the grounded stable relationship. That passionate chemistry is hype to me. I don't miss it smh.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Messy, dramatic and roller coaster ...... Not anything I want in a long term relationship.

 

[Urban]

Would this be a scenario where you HAD to choose?

I wouldn't choose either. For me a strong connection and being stable/grounded are non-negotiables. I'd rather be single. I couldn't do the drama in relationship A and I wouldn't be fulfilled in a relationship where the connection is not strong in relationship B.

 

[nlamr2013]

Logical passion fades

 

[Duchesse]

Urban for this situation, let's pretend no other choice exists.

In reality, you have a good point that both should be scrapped lol.

I'm surprised that so far no one has chosen passion.. Interesting.

 

[LivingInPeace]

If I had to choose I'd go for the logic. Life is dramatic enough. I don't need drama in my house.

 

[Evolving78]

If I had to choose I'd go for the logic. Life is dramatic enough. I don't need drama in my house.

I got a lot of passion going on and a lot of drama! Lol

 

[ms.mimi]

I'm surprised that so far no one has chosen passion.. Interesting.

Most people know what's up. Add job, house, dog, kids and life...messy can turn to murder.
I'll take Logic for $500 Alex.

 

[Layluh]

Duchesse I choose passion. But not the way it's defined in this thread.

 

[Evolving78]

Duchesse I choose passion. But not the way it's defined in this thread.

I want intimate passion. Not dangerously in love passion!

 

[CaraWalker]

is there some reason why you cannot have both?

 

[ChasingBliss]

I want to say logic, but honestly I havent demonstrated that in my life. I walked away from Mr. Consistent-logic-mellow-boring but loyal and skipped off into the sunset with Mr.Ups and downs-emotional roller coaster rides- outgoing-exciting-crazy (and thank GOD loyal).

My common sense may have told me that I needed the previous but my soul chose and married the latter.

Soul lessons, tis all. Must be something I needed to learn because it has definitely elevated me to new levels of thinking and dealing with life, my dh and people.

 

[Duchesse]

Most people know what's up. Add job, house, dog, kids and life...messy can turn to murder. I'll take Logic for $500 Alex.

Lmao!!! Very true

 

[CaraWalker]

@Duchesse I choose passion. But not the way it's defined in this thread.

american culture - romance novels and movies and all the social narratives around us - insist on painting "passion" as identifiable by emotional volatility, relationship instability, and immaturity. thats not passion, thats not being able to control your emotions. passion is about intensity and depth and ferocity, not unpredictability, self (and sometimes mutual) destruction, and drama....

 

[Duchesse]

Duchesse I choose passion. But not the way it's defined in this thread.

Good point. How would you define passion in a romantic relationship? Maybe I'm thinking of that RnB painful love lol..

 

[Duchesse]

american culture - romance novels and movies and all the social narratives around us - insist on painting "passion" as identifiable by emotional volatility, relationship instability, and immaturity. thats not passion, thats not being able to control your emotions. passion is about intensity and depth and ferocity, not unpredictability, self (and sometimes mutual) destruction, and drama....

I really like how you described what is in many ways an American (modern) notion of "passion". strokes chin...interesting...

 

[Duchesse]

I want to say logic, but honestly I havent demonstrated that in my life. I walked away from Mr. Consistent-logic-mellow-boring but loyal and skipped off into the sunset with Mr.Ups and downs-emotional roller coaster rides- outgoing-exciting-crazy (and thank GOD loyal).

My common sense may have told me that I needed the previous but my soul chose and married the latter.

Soul lessons, tis all. Must be something I needed to learn because it has definitely elevated me to new levels of thinking and dealing with life, my dh and people.

ChasingBliss This sounds like something I have said before to a friend. That maybe the roller coaster rides that some people take us on, are for some type of spiritual lesson...learning patience maybe? tolerance? forgiveness?

Since you brought the concept of the soul up,if you don't ind answering, do you feel like your husband is your soulmate?

I've read things on the concept of "twinflames" and a good amount seems to describe that intense type of relationship so many are saying that they don't want.

 

[ChasingBliss]

ChasingBliss This sounds like something I have said before to a friend. That maybe the roller coaster rides that some people take us on, are for some type of spiritual lesson...learning patience maybe? tolerance? forgiveness?

Since you brought the concept of the soul up,if you don't ind answering, do you feel like your husband is your soulmate?

I've read things on the concept of "twinflames" and a good amount seems to describe that intense type of relationship so many are saying that they don't want.

Yes I absolutely believe he is one of my soulmates. And not in spite of what I have been through with him but because of it. Both of us see this and we have even discussed the concept of twin flames too. But I need more time in this existence with him to assess that further.

Our marriage has evolved quite a bit and my struggles with him are well documented on this site.

 

[RegaLady]

I want to say logic, but honestly I havent demonstrated that in my life. I walked away from Mr. Consistent-logic-mellow-boring but loyal and skipped off into the sunset with Mr.Ups and downs-emotional roller coaster rides- outgoing-exciting-crazy (and thank GOD loyal).

My common sense may have told me that I needed the previous but my soul chose and married the latter.

Soul lessons, tis all. Must be something I needed to learn because it has definitely elevated me to new levels of thinking and dealing with life, my dh and people.

Very interesting! I admire your honesty. I have had "passion" as described in this thread and my GOD there is nothing like it.
A lesson to be learned, for sure.

Logic is great! Stability is great! Yet, I have to admit, I love intensity. I love passion(the good kind)lol!

 

[FemmeCreole]

I have logic and passion minus the roller coaster drama bs
As for this scenario I'd choose logic.

 

[Curly Lee]

Passion. I think Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis are my inspiration. And they were very passionate about everything when they met. I would hope as we age that we would cool down a bit.