Overly Complimentary Men- Why do they annoy me?

[MzLady78]

So, I've been talking to the guy I met the other night at the bar and he's kind of annoying me. We could be in the middle of a conversation about something and he'll just blurt out "damn girl you are so fine, I really wish I could see you right now". I'm like "umm, okay, thanks". I mean, I'm flattered that he finds me attractive and all, but in my head I'm like "damn bruh, bring it down a few notches", lol. I don't know if it's because I'm really not that into him or what. (For those who didn't see my other post about him, he's in the middle of a divorce and has girl triplets). Or it may be that it kind of puts attention on me and I dont really like being put on the spot.

I feel silly as hell that I'm actually complaining about a guy complimenting me, but I'm hoping somebody can relate. Has anyone else ever dealt with a guy like this?

 

[bravenewgirl87]

Yes. It is annoying, but it could be so because we are not used to it. Have you ever noticed that you looked at a guy funny bc he opened the door for you or was really attentive? The chilvarious types? We have a tendency to ask for better treatment from men, but when we get it, its so foriegn to us that we don't know what to do. Just a theory

 

[Keen]

So, I've been talking to the guy I met the other night at the bar and he's kind of annoying me. We could be in the middle of a conversation about something and he'll just blurt out "damn girl you are so fine, I really wish I could see you right now". I'm like "umm, okay, thanks". I mean, I'm flattered that he finds me attractive and all, but in my head I'm like "damn bruh, bring it down a few notches", lol. I don't know if it's because I'm really not that into him or what. (For those who didn't see my other post about him, he's in the middle of a divorce and has girl triplets). Or it may be that it kind of puts attention on me and I dont really like being put on the spot.

I feel silly as hell that I'm actually complaining about a guy complimenting me, but I'm hoping somebody can relate. Has anyone else ever dealt with a guy like this?

I would really like to hear the answers for this. My roomate just told me she was experiencing the same thing. I told her it is because she is not into the guys.

 

[glamazon386]

So, I've been talking to the guy I met the other night at the bar and he's kind of annoying me. We could be in the middle of a conversation about something and he'll just blurt out "damn girl you are so fine, I really wish I could see you right now". I'm like "umm, okay, thanks". I mean, I'm flattered that he finds me attractive and all, but in my head I'm like "damn bruh, bring it down a few notches", lol. I don't know if it's because I'm really not that into him or what. (For those who didn't see my other post about him, he's in the middle of a divorce and has girl triplets). Or it may be that it kind of puts attention on me and I dont really like being put on the spot.

I feel silly as hell that I'm actually complaining about a guy complimenting me, but I'm hoping somebody can relate. Has anyone else ever dealt with a guy like this?

These kind of men bother me bc it makes me feel like they'd talk to anything in a skirt. There's nothing wrong with complimenting people if you are sincere but there is a such thing as overkill. And overkill makes me uncomfortable.

 

[Whimsy]

Maybe it's the specific guy, not the specific behavior?

 

[firecracker]

Tell hiz *** to stop with the lame bs those untimely compliments will not get him a drop in visit to your spot nor get you to his spot. Next time say "yeah yeah mister thanks but wait til you take me on a really nice date, I'll be looking real good to you then. F the compliments spend some change j-***.

 

[MzLady78]

Yes. It is annoying, but it could be so because we are not used to it. Have you ever noticed that you looked at a guy funny bc he opened the door for you or was really attentive? The chilvarious types? We have a tendency to ask for better treatment from men, but when we get it, its so foriegn to us that we don't know what to do. Just a theory

I see what you're saying, but chilvarious treatment, I could definitely deal with. I've had guys that open the doors, etc. I wish more men were like that.

He's just....extra.

 

[MzLady78]

I would really like to hear the answers for this. My roomate just told me she was experiencing the same thing. I told her it is because she is not into the guys.

He's really not my type and has too much going on for me. I could handle one kid, even though my preference is none. But 3 is pretty much a deal breaker.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I see what you're saying, but chilvarious treatment, I could definitely deal with. I've had guys that open the doors, etc. I wish more men were like that.

He's just....extra.

He's just a HAM, huh?

 

[MzLady78]

These kind of men bother me bc it makes me feel like they'd talk to anything in a skirt. There's nothing wrong with complimenting people if you are sincere but there is a such thing as overkill. And overkill makes me uncomfortable.

Right!

I guess it kind of makes me feel like he just into the physical. Like you're not even paying attention to anything else, like my intelligence, etc. And he sounds extra, ummm, riled up when he says it too, like he'd be trying to rip my clothes off if we were face to face, lol.

 

[MzLady78]

Maybe it's the specific guy, not the specific behavior?

I remember back in the day, I had this guy that I was crazy about. He was the first guy that I ever approached first, that's how much I was feeling him. And boy, did he have me on pedestal, like I could do no wrong. For different reasons we never got together, but I remember feeling like I could never live up to this image he had of me. Like I was scared he'd find out just how imperfect I really was. (I'm sure he knew I wasn't perfect but you get my drift).

With this dude, I just get this feeling that his interest in me is superficial. And he's 11 years old than me, so it's like is he trying to have some hot little trophy chick on his arm, LMAO.

 

[MzLady78]

Tell hiz *** to stop with the lame bs those untimely compliments will not get him a drop in visit to your spot nor get you to his spot. Next time say "yeah yeah mister thanks but wait til you take me on a really nice date, I'll be looking real good to you then. F the compliments spend some change j-***.

Girl you are too much!!!

He was trying to get me to come over to his place, cause I was telling him I haven't watched Desperate Housewives since The Sopranos came back on. Apparently he's a big fan and DVRs it. I'm like damn, can a sista at least get dinner before you try to have me all up in your house. I don't even know you!!

Ill admit, the tickler thing had me a little intrigued, but not that much.

 

[cocosweet]

I've felt this way about particular suitors and the reasons were:

1. I wasn't that into him at all.
2. When you like somebody, you can let them know without laying it on so thick.
3. When someone piles on the complements it makes me think that they really don't feel themselves worthy of me; so they feel like they always have to say nice things to appease me.
4. I tend to think damn, "You clearly haven't had a woman in awhile have you?"

This one guy in like the second phone convo we had was like, "I'm trying to enhance your life." I was like, "Maaan, We just met. You don't know what you're trying to do." Blowing up my phone several times a day wasn't cute either. I was like dude get a life.

 

[MzLady78]

I've felt this way about particular suitors and the reasons were:

1. I wasn't that into him at all.
2. When you like somebody, you can let them know without laying it on so thick.
3. When someone piles on the complements it makes me think that they really don't feel themselves worthy of me; so they feel like they always have to say nice things to appease me.
4. I tend to think damn, "You clearly haven't had a woman in awhile have you?"

This one guy in like the second phone convo we had was like, "I'm trying to enhance your life." I was like, "Maaan, We just met. You don't know what you're trying to do." Blowing up my phone several times a day wasn't cute either. I was like dude get a life.

Oh, lawd!!!

I told him I had a work function to go to after work around 5:30. 6:30 he called me from his house phone. When I didn't answer, he called me from his cell phone. I'm like, did I not tell him I had something to do?

 

[neenee280]

I've felt this way about particular suitors and the reasons were:

1. I wasn't that into him at all.
2. When you like somebody, you can let them know without laying it on so thick.
3. When someone piles on the complements it makes me think that they really don't feel themselves worthy of me; so they feel like they always have to say nice things to appease me.
4. I tend to think damn, "You clearly haven't had a woman in awhile have you?"

This one guy in like the second phone convo we had was like, "I'm trying to enhance your life." I was like, "Maaan, We just met. You don't know what you're trying to do." Blowing up my phone several times a day wasn't cute either. I was like dude get a life.

Amen to everything you just said! Especially #4. LOL!

When a man overly compliments, I feel like they are blowing smoke and just trying to get the thongs. And I once tried to stick it out with an "over complimenter" and he ended up being a stalker. Ugh!

 

[MzLady78]

Amen to everything you just said! Especially #4. LOL!

When a man overly compliments, I feel like they are blowing smoke and just trying to get the thongs. And I once tried to stick it out with an "over complimenter" and he ended up being a stalker. Ugh!

This is what I'm afraid of.

 

[Bunny77]

Naw, I feel ya... I made a post like this on another board YEARS ago and people thought I was crazy! (Where can I meet men like that, they'd say. )

I think the annoyance comes from the fact that too many comments come off as lecherous. My current dude compliments me, but he can have an actual CONVERSATION with me and his compliments don't come off like he's ready to jump on me at that very moment. When the ENTIRE interaction with a man feels like that, it's uncomfortable.

And like other folks said, you just get that sense that he's not necessarily interested in you for you... just trying his hardest to get some. (I mean, all men want that, but please, try to act like you're interested in my personality too!!! )

 

[glamazon386]

Right!

I guess it kind of makes me feel like he just into the physical. Like you're not even paying attention to anything else, like my intelligence, etc. And he sounds extra, ummm, riled up when he says it too, like he'd be trying to rip my clothes off if we were face to face, lol.

YES!! Men only care what I look like. They're in shock when they find out I have a degree and I finished it when I was 20 yrs old.

 

[MzLady78]

YES!! Men only care what I look like. They're in shock when they find out I have a degree and I finished it when I was 20 yrs old.

Gon' wit'cha bad self, girl!!!! LOL. That's amazing!!

Seriously, like he hasn't asked me anything about my background, my education, where I went to school. He just wants to know when he's gonna see me again and if I'll come over.

 

[glamazon386]

Gon' wit'cha bad self, girl!!!! LOL. That's amazing!!

Seriously, like he hasn't asked me anything about my background, my education, where I went to school. He just wants to know when he's gonna see me again and if I'll come over.

Mmmm hmmm.... Tell that negro he ain't slick.

 

[MzLady78]

Mmmm hmmm.... Tell that negro he ain't slick.

Ya know!

I mean, he's cool and all, but he's been banished to the friend zone. Even if I wasn't turned off by the extraness, even if I thought he was really interested in me on the whole and not just as eye candy (okay I know, I'm forcing it referring to myself as eye candy, but work with me, lol) there's still the issue of the "pending" divorce and the triplets.

 

[Aveena]

Right!

I guess it kind of makes me feel like he just into the physical. Like you're not even paying attention to anything else, like my intelligence, etc. And he sounds extra, ummm, riled up when he says it too, like he'd be trying to rip my clothes off if we were face to face, lol.

I was just about to ask if you felt like to was an underhanded sexual comment.....next! If so then NEXT trust your instincts... maybe the kind of guy you like makes you feel comfortable with your sexuality NOT uncomfortable and cheap.

 

[neenee280]

Ya know!

I mean, he's cool and all, but he's been banished to the friend zone. Even if I wasn't turned off by the extraness, even if I thought he was really interested in me on the whole and not just as eye candy (okay I know, I'm forcing it referring to myself as eye candy, but work with me, lol) there's still the issue of the "pending" divorce and the triplets.

Girlfriend, go with your gut! You know what is best for ya!

 

[Aveena]

Ya know!

I mean, he's cool and all, but he's been banished to the friend zone. Even if I wasn't turned off by the extraness, even if I thought he was really interested in me on the whole and not just as eye candy (okay I know, I'm forcing it referring to myself as eye candy, but work with me, lol) there's still the issue of the "pending" divorce and the triplets.

I recently met a guy with similar "issues". I couldn't help but feel like he was looking for an emotional/physical escape from his problems. calling in the morning noon and night... In my case that's just a little too much

 

[MzLady78]

I was just about to ask if you felt like to was an underhanded sexual comment.....next! If so then NEXT trust your instincts... maybe the kind of guy you like makes you feel comfortable with your sexuality NOT uncomfortable and cheap.

I really do have a strong feeling his interest in me is physical. And I'm at the point where I'm not trying to go there with anyone.

 

[MzLady78]

Girlfriend, go with your gut! You know what is best for ya!

I definitely am going w/my gut on this one. I don't see him as a potential suitor at all. I told him from the jump about my kids issue and this was before I found out he had 3 AND a wife.

 

[MzLady78]

I recently met a guy with similar "issues". I couldn't help but feel like he was looking for an emotional/physical escape from his problems. calling in the morning noon and night... In my case that's just a little too much

It is alot. I feel kinda bad whem I reject dudes w/kids cause it's like I'm faulting them for taking care of them and being in their lives. But that's just how I feel. My ex had one, but I kind of lucked out with him because he had absolutely no drama with ex wife (he couldn't stand her and really only dealt with her when absolutely necessary). And she was older when we started dating (13).

 

[honeybadgirl]

i know what you mean. they say it and come on soooo strong like you dont think i ever heard that before. not to be conceited but i'm just saying. its like they try to prey on low self esteem or something.erplexed some of them come like i'm supposed to jump up and into bed with them!!! yuck!

 

[bLackButtaFly]

Right!

I guess it kind of makes me feel like he just into the physical. Like you're not even paying attention to anything else, like my intelligence, etc. And he sounds extra, ummm, riled up when he says it too, like he'd be trying to rip my clothes off if we were face to face, lol.

Lol. That's exactly what ruins the compliment for me. You're like "wait...what's that tone? that's the Booty tone! The nerve!" Like keep it in your pants. Men need ot have a little more discretion about who they let take that thing out for a spin. DOWN BOY!

 

[MzLady78]

i know what you mean. they say it and come on soooo strong like you dont think i ever heard that before. not to be conceited but i'm just saying. its like they try to prey on low self esteem or something.erplexed some of them come like i'm supposed to jump up and into bed with them!!! yuck!

Exactly!

Hey, it ain't conceit if it's the truth, lol.