Over 30 and Never Married?

[Highly Favored8]

I will be turning 35 in a couple of months and have never been married. Never even really gave it any serious consideration until I got into my 30's.

I know I will be getting married though. I made it my business to work towards that and my efforts have paid off big time.

Quote and bold for emphasis for myself. This is exactly where I am at right now as well.

 

[Renewed1]

Well, many equate marriage with children and there is such a thing as the biological clock. If you want those things together, sticking your head in the sand won't make the ticking stop.


If these things are important to you, why not do them anyway, not matter what he says? (If those things are nothing unreasonable). And if you truly wish you weren't married, why not get divorced?(I'm not saying you should, just asking). If you are still there, that shows that for you the pros outweigh the cons, right?


I thought you said upthread that you were being positive.

I am being positive. I'm not willing to settle.

 

[cabellera]

I choose to remain single. I'm celibate when I want to be. LOL! I'm not negative towards men, in fact I enjoy them, just don't want to be married. No kiddies either.


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[Maracujá]

I am 30, have no kids and has never been married (single and not looking either)..I have been single for so long I don't even remember how it feels when you have to think about someone else in a realtionship..At first I felt like something was wrong with me because most or all my friends are married or have kids..I used to hate going on facebook and seeing someone else saying congrats on a new baby or marriage...But not anymore in fact the more I think about it I am quite happy being by myself. I go and come as I please, I have no one to answer to but me, I can get up and go at the drop of a dime, and frankly I enjoy my me time. I swear society acts as if you should be burned at the stakes for being 30 or over and not married.

I am sure if there were eligible men around and I was actually meeting these men that things MIGHT be different but all I run into are frogs..I look forward to buying and living in my house by myself. I have very little patience for someone else's BS, and if I don't feel like dealing with anyone I go home close my door and call it a day. The longer I wait to have kids the more I think I don't want to have any. This might change in the future but as far as I can see not very likely.

I'm so used to being single that I don't even know if I want to get married anymore. I was ready for marriage at 19-22. Now I'm old and set in my ways . I don't want to compromise, I don't want to communicate, I don't want anyone placing additional responsibilities on my shoulders, I don't want someone in my space making a mess, I don't want to be bothered with anyone else's family, I don't want to do anyone else's laundry, I don't want to cook anyone special meals, and I sure as heck don't want any children.

I haven't been interested in anyone in years. I feel pretty disconnected from people at this point in time, but that is another thread.

I think if I met the right person maybe, maybe my feelings on the subject would change. Until then, I like living single. The only thing is I think married women are treated with more respect than single women, especially at my place of worship. I really get tired of the double standards and biases that exists against single women, but what can one do about that?

And another thing, the older you get, the fewer quality men you have to choose from. I don't won't to be marrying for the first time while the guy has had upteen ex-wives, baby mama's, kids, grandkids, etc., etc., etc. I don't want to be bothered with all of that extraness. I'd much rather be alone.

I'm 26 right now and the bolded is what I'm most afraid of to be honest.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Speaking for myself I don't feel that's my issue. I love Love, I love being in love, I love giving my all to someone who is deserving. I will not give up on that so that's why I do keep an open mind and heart but the men that I've encountered are just full of pure bullsh*t. They play way to many games and are complete idiots when you break down what you will/will not tolerate and what your expectations are when your committed.



How dare I forget GIRL I could write a book on that one.



Are we living the same life!!!!!! Except I have a DD off to college next yr.

That last relationship did me in I'm still a little distrubed by it SMH I can't believe someone could be so evil, selfish and uncaring but I know I was great to him and it was his issues not mine that turned the relationship sour.

Not preach but PRACH!

 

[ChasingBliss]

I am 43 and I can honestly say I never worried about this. I could have been married twice in my life but the first one (when I was 26) did not work out and the second one (when I was around 36) I turned down. I realized that I could not see myself marrying him. Now, at this age, I will be engaged this week and married within the year. I'm glad I waited on "that guy" who suited me just right. I know what I want and so does he...We are both the same age and never been married. We are deeply in love and are on the same page with everything...I'm good. As some one else stated, if I had married in my 20s, we would have been divorced long time ago...not sure how the second one would have gone. I was not in love with him...it may have grown but I was not willing to take that chance.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Nope 30 is not old well maybe, because I am so FRESH into it... 7/4/81 Baby, But, so far, even if in mind, it has been the Bomb.com... I am loving it, and don't intend on living in the "why cant I get married frame of mind"...

 

[SqrpioQutie]

i've never been married and have no children, and i'm finally getting to the point where it doesn't bother me as much.... as much as i'd love to be a mom, if it doesn't happen naturally i may not jump off of a bridge.... plus, i have a very strong desire to adopt one day, regardless of my marital status, so i'll still have that opportunity, even if it's not my "flesh and blood"....

as ridiculous as this will sound, i'm probably more caught up in planning and having a wedding than i am in having a husband... lol.... but i won't marry someone just so i can have it....

i met a man this weekend at a conference and he advised me to "never marry for love"... i pretended to understand why at the time, but i've been thinking about it since then.... and i think that by waiting as long as i have, i've sort of done that.. put more than "love" into the equation.... i use my head more than my heart... so, having done that so far, i figure i'll keep on doing that.. lol

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

@sweetvi When you re single you re in control with your life ,you can make choices that suits you best without the need of approval from another person ,you dont have to "communicate" and explain over and over the reasons of why you believe in ,choose to do something .
There are so many things i would love to do but probably wont never be able to because of my other half . We get along fine ,he s just became so stubborn these last couple of years .You never know who you re marrying .

I've said this on another thread and it's so true. In my case it's not necessarily "bad" but it is different and it does make life a little more complicated. Single-dom is such freedom, and even the whole "unknown" aspect of not having a mate is exciting. There's the potential for him to be "the perfect man" even though he does not exist. Once you're married, you know (no matter who you married) that you did not end up with "the perfect man." LOL

 

[Sesi]

I totally agree with you. I do like how you were able to self reflect about your life regarding relationships. I think we all need to self reflect. It's a healthy practice. While everyone is free to think the way they want and have their own free will and opinion it bothers me when I hear women say they are happily single or single by choice. I want to say are you really? Is that because you have been hurt so many times by men that you are giving up? There is a reason that those words are being said. Normally it's coming from a place of pain. I know that from experience.

God created us with the innante ability and want to love and have healthy and happy relationships with the opposite sex. We are hardwired to love and have companionship. You can't deny or fight that as much as you try to. We all need somebody in life.

Fortunatley my life is on the right path and direction I want it too now as I took a deeper look into what was making me unhappy and unfullfilled with regards to life and relationships. My belief system has changed. This is the happiest I have been in my entire life and wake with joy each morning.

Yes, many people do become single by choice. (If we're talking about God, even Jesus himself said it - he said some people are born with the ability to remain single by choice, others because they have been made so by circumstances, and others because of a specific reason. I go with Jesus on this one. Whatever reason for which a person decides to remain single, I respect it. It's much wiser to be single than to be with someone because you're afraid to be alone or because you think you shouldn't be alone - that never works out and usually results in making miserable people (both you and the other person and others involved...)

Yes, God created us for relationships, but marriage is not the only relationship he created people for. There are friendships and there are families.

I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying there's a place for everything: both singleness and marriage.

 

[your hair is your glory]

Those of you who are over 30 and have never been married ..what are your thoughts? Do you think it will ever happen or have you lost interest in marriage? I will be 36 next week and have never been married. I own my home and have a degree and a well paying job. I' m really looking at men in a negative light..your thoughts?

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Dont give up. My sis n law was same as you. Home job degree and 3 adopted children. She just got married at 38. And she met him at the kids dr's office.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

Those of you who are over 30 and have never been married ..what are your thoughts? Do you think it will ever happen or have you lost interest in marriage? I will be 36 next week and have never been married. I own my home and have a degree and a well paying job. I' m really looking at men in a negative light..your thoughts?

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I'm 31 and have never been married. Right now I don't want to get married. I don't want to share my assets. I don't want kids. I just want to build my career and travel. Marriage would get in the way.