***Online Dating Support Thread***

Omg......he put it ALL OUT ON THE TABLE. Whoo wee.....There's no doubt about where we stand! :giggle:

ETA:
I just realized my message was cryptic as hell...lol...
we had a date last night, had dinner then didn't want the date to end and he asked me to go see a movie. Thoroughly enjoyed myself and he was saying how much he liked me and wanted to spend LOTS more time getting to know me. That he's never "clicked" with someone like he has with me. AWWWWW.....it was a really nice night.
 
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laCriolla said:
WHAT does this say?? seeking women 25-45? (aka just a warm body?)
_______________
tont225
tont225
33,
Seeking women 25-45
Add to Favorites »
Looking for a independant woman
Im 6 foot 200lbs muscular build Im very ouutgoing respectful and understading I like traveling going to the movies comedy shows and to sport bars I enjoy working out too Im looking for a female that is independant, family orient, and love to have fun.
From: tont225 / Received: March 04, 2012

hi
hoow u doin ms lady u seem to kwn wat u wnt n life frm ur profile wouuld like too knw more
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Lol he is saying how are you doing and you know what you want in life from your profile and he wants to know more.

I hate when they write like this. I just ignore.
 
LilMissSunshine5 said:
Bublin- That has happened to me (the inconsistent thing irks me) and I don't respond. I honestly think you teach people how to treat you and I refuse to engage with someone who has expressed interest and then fallen off. If he offered a satisfactory explanation for his absence upfront, then I'd consider, but acting like he didn't disappear is unacceptable to me. The guys who were flaky and tried to come back were likely talking to someone else and it didn't work out. But a wise female mentor in my life once told me "It is none of my business what other people think of me" and it changed my whole mentality on life and dating. Those guys may have thought I was a back up option, but it is none of my business really and I'll never really know what he was thinking anyway, so why waste the energy speculating? I do hear the insecurity in your messages and that may be a big part of the problem. No one can make you feel any kind of way unless you let them! The only person who can make you feel second best is you IMO

For me, what truly matters is what I think of myself. I know I deserve to be a priority in someone's life and only entertain others that share that view. So if a guy is inconsistent or doesn't do what he says he'll do, I keep it moving because I know I deserve better than that. It is most likely not due to a lack/fault of mine, but simply I wasn't what he was looking for or he isn't prepared to give me the respect and consideration I require. Either way, I'm good :yep: I hope this encourages you hon! If not, shoot, I just encouraged myself with this post :lachen::lachen:
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This was a great post LilMissSunshine5. The bolded is so true. I will remember that whenever I feel salty about something in general.
 
So my break from online dating was short-lived but that is due to you guys being honest with me and giving great practical advice. You also gave me kick up the backside :yep:.

I changed my main profile pic and added a few more. I also took @ElizaBlue's advice after she screened my profile.

MY INBOX IS BLOWING UP....after just 1 hour of me changing it.

I can't believe it. Men actually read your profile!

One guy messaged me to say that when he saw my pic he thought i would a be Diva but after reading i seem so sweet and down to earth that he just had to message me to find out more.

Before, my inbox dried up within 3 days of me joining (except the playas bugging me) but it's as if the guys are treating me like i'm brand new :lachen:....some of them i hadn't found whilst searching but they had been on for a while. Whilst i'm not really attracted to most of the men that are now messaging me they are of a better quality and to be honest i would even go meet them for a coffee if they asked just because they seem able to hold a convo and they clearly put an effort into their first message.

I am now bold and ask outright a question about their profile.
I was also very clear in my profile about my occupation which i thought would put guys right off but oooh they lovin' it.
 
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tinkat said:
I probably need add more to my profile info. I am so lazy, I don't feel like saying too much.
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Add more, just tell it like it is, what you want and don't want. I'm getting a totally different audience. No more one word messages. Like i said before, even though i'm not attracted to them physically i can see myself going on a date now with someone genuine and you never know where that might lead to.
 
Bublin said:
Add more, just tell it like it is, what you want and don't want. I'm getting a totally different audience. No more one word messages. Like i said before, even though i'm not attracted to them physically i can see myself going on a date now with someone genuine and you never know where that might lead to.
Click to expand...

I'll do that tonight.
 
Bublin said:
So my break from online dating was short-lived but that is due to you guys being honest with me and giving great practical advice. You also gave me kick up the backside :yep:.

I changed my main profile pic and added a few more. I also took @ElizaBlue's advice after she screened my profile.

MY INBOX IS BLOWING UP....after just 1 hour of me changing it.

I can't believe it. Men actually read your profile!

One guy messaged me to say that when he saw my pic he thought i would a be Diva but after reading i seem so sweet and down to earth that he just had to message me to find out more.

Before, my inbox dried up within 3 days of me joining (except the playas bugging me) but it's as if the guys are treating me like i'm brand new :lachen:....some of them i hadn't found whilst searching but they had been on for a while. Whilst i'm not really attracted to most of the men that are now messaging me they are of a better quality and to be honest i would even go meet them for a coffee if they asked just because they seem able to hold a convo and they clearly put an effort into their first message.

I am now bold and ask outright a question about their profile.
I was also very clear in my profile about my occupation which i thought would put guys right off but oooh they lovin' it.
Click to expand...

@Bublin YES!!!!! I love it...so smiling...pretty soon you will be posting flowers and getting about the business of making feet for socks....:lachen:okay maybe not sooo fast...but that's the end game...right?:grin:
 
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So since re-vamping my Profile, guess what...eligible white men have stepped up...the black men have dressed back. Ha ha ha.
Just one has messaged me but he was a lightweight who thought he could take on a heavyweight. I ended up telling him thanks but no thanks.

I see what my problem was....i was inadvertantly devaluing myself with a wishy washy profile and a pic that looked Diva'ish. Now only the broad-shouldered are submitting their applications....who at the moment happen to be white.
 
I got a message from a really nice and handsome guy!!! He was actually articulate :lol: It was just nice to read a great message from a guy who might have the complete package :yep: But he lives, like 600 miles away :lachen::lachen:
 
i was supposed to go rock climbing with a guy from OKC last Wednesday but i canceled. he texted me at 7:01 this morning asking if i wanted to go dancing on Thursday night. wtf? you ain't got no business texting me that early in the morning.
 
A cutie hit me up but he is not what I am looking for. He would definitely be in the friend category bc he is not looking for anything serious.
 
Bublin said:
So since re-vamping my Profile, guess what...eligible white men have stepped up...the black men have dressed back. Ha ha ha.
Just one has messaged me but he was a lightweight who thought he could take on a heavyweight. I ended up telling him thanks but no thanks.

I see what my problem was....i was inadvertantly devaluing myself with a wishy washy profile and a pic that looked Diva'ish. Now only the broad-shouldered are submitting their applications....who at the moment happen to be white.
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Are you only looking for white men? That's the vibe Ive been getting from your posts
 
Oasis said:
i was supposed to go rock climbing with a guy from OKC last Wednesday but i canceled. he texted me at 7:01 this morning asking if i wanted to go dancing on Thursday night. wtf? you ain't got no business texting me that early in the morning.
Click to expand...

Forgive him please. :lol:
 
Urrgh. Guy is still messaging me but i just can't. He is fine as hell, got a good job, lives very near to me but...he has 3 kids, one of which is 7 months old.......no...go away.
 
Bublin I'd like to know what your occupation is too. And 7 month old baby...sounds complicated. Although, kudos to him for being honest about it.

I've been getting messages from a black guy with blue eyes. Assumed it was color contacts, but he has a pic up of him when he was young and his eyes are the same. I didn't know such things existed.
 
This guy and I have been messaging each other all day on pof. Wondering if he is going to ask for number eventually.
 
texasqt said:
I was trying to find a place to post this without starting a new thread. Enjoy!

From Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-lafsky/the-5-truths-about-dating_b_906508.html
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" I met my husband-to-be at a party in New York City, when I was in my early '30s (meaning I'm now in my less-early '30s). "You're so lucky!" people gasp when I tell them the story, as if I was a prepubescent plucked from Ceský Krumlov and handed a supermodeling contract. Casey Anthony was lucky. I'm just someone who decided I was ready to find a husband, and then did the necessary work to procure one. Yes, I said "work." Which brings us to the five truths about dating that no one ever tells you (but are nonetheless true):

I wrote the below comments to evaluate the article because I could relate to the points. However....what and why is the above bolded in this article? :nono: Is there another Casey Anthony other than Kaley's mom? At any rate here are my comments.

1) Dating takes work.

I completely agree with this. I would much rather just hang out the way I am any given Sunday. I don't really always feel like getting prissy just because it's a a formal "date". But when dating you do have to put in the work. Not just in presentation but also in interview skills. You have to ask the right questions at the right time and then be prepared to hear the answer, whether you like it or not.

2) Chances are, you don't really know what you want.

I agree with this one as well. Often times we date a variety of people thinking that the one who sticks is the one for us. When in reality we may not have enough in common or the chemistry to actually form a healthy relationship.

I say figure out your 80% first then date toward that. If you're dating your 20% just because they like you and want to be with you...you are more than likely wasting your time.

3) Even if you do know what you want, you don't really think you can have it.

Ah...the self doubting. He will never show up...so not true. You just have to put yourself out there, because I truly believe he's out there for each of us. I think there's a greater chance of him being out there but maybe not looking like we expected him to. He could be shorter than our preference, a different race or maybe even in a different geographic location.

But, if he or she has that 80% of our non-negotiables...I say take that over looking a certain way. Looks are long standing anyway...right?

4) Every date really does go how you say it will go.

If you think it will go badly or you think it will go great, you could inadvertently sway the date either way. Look for the positive and don't focus so much on the little annoying things he may do. Either of you could just be a bit nervous.


I once wrote a guy off on a date because he just kept doing dumb ish. The second date was so much better and he turned out to be a great BF...until I had to move...lol.

5) The hardest part of dating is hearing reality -- even if that reality makes you want to rip off your fingernails with a pliers.

This is so true. Who wants to hear there won't be a second date from someone you really liked, but after meeting realized the feeling wasn't mutual. I think honesty upfront and undelayed is always best. Then both parties can get about the business of finding someone who fits.
 
I've touched on the subject of distance before on another thread but is distance an instant deal-breaker for any of you?
I'm messaging a guy that lives about 2 hours drive away. I am learning to just enjoy the moment and 'enjoy' the dating process but I know i'm not prepared to relocate...been there done that and it was a disaster for me.
 
Bublin said:
I've touched on the subject of distance before on another thread but is distance an instant deal-breaker for any of you?
I'm messaging a guy that lives about 2 hours drive away. I am learning to just enjoy the moment and 'enjoy' the dating process but I know i'm not prepared to relocate...been there done that and it was a disaster for me.
Click to expand...

my bf lives about 50 miles away from where i am now, which is about an hour drive. it's fairly inconvenient, and we are relegated mostly to seeing each other on weekends, or sometimes ill stay at his place a couple days during the week as well. it's turning out to be a bit of a "long distance" when before experiencing it i wouldnt have thought 50 miles would have been that far. i am going to be moving a bit closer in the next month or so (about a half hours' distance), so i'm hoping that'll make things more flexible.
 
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Bublin said:
I've touched on the subject of distance before on another thread but is distance an instant deal-breaker for any of you?
I'm messaging a guy that lives about 2 hours drive away. I am learning to just enjoy the moment and 'enjoy' the dating process but I know i'm not prepared to relocate...been there done that and it was a disaster for me.
Click to expand...

No distance believe it or not is not a deal breaker for me. My mother said it best, moving is in our blood. I was a military brat and I find that I cannot be in one spot for long time...my parents are the same way. It was not a shock to see my parents be apart although I know it is hard work. I was in a long distance relationship for about a year. It definitely taught me patience. Two hours for me is not that bad but I know that gas can get expensive. When it gets to that five hour mark that is when I really really consider it long distance.
 
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