***Online Dating Support Thread***

[SUPER SWEET]

I research best states to meet men...Texas was one of them. Scum of the earth reside in the Phildalephia area. LOL. But I'm really gonna try this year. Date multiple people and be more open to meet different guys who aren't usually my type. I'm going to retire the confident ******* of my list of guys and guys with "swag". lol...swag gets tiring

kaynewme
If you live in Philly,men . I had to start going to NJ & DE to meet decent dates. The love my life lived in NJ and I let him go. I regret it so much. He got tired of me playing around. I met him on the NJ transit train going to AC. We clicked so much he missed his Lindenwal stop.

 

[ElizaBlue]

I research best states to meet men...Texas was one of them. Scum of the earth reside in the Phildalephia area. LOL. But I'm really gonna try this year. Date multiple people and be more open to meet different guys who aren't usually my type. I'm going to retire the confident ******* of my list of guys and guys with "swag". lol...swag gets tiring

@kaynewme Not that we don't have some less desirables here as well, but it has always seemed to me that Texas...specifically Austin, Houston and Dallas have some great guys.

Everytime I found someone outside of my state particulary upstate they just seemed superficial and fast talking. I wonder if it has something to do with the ratio of available women. But also, what man is going to relocate to love?

I mean in this housing market he would have to be willing to give up equity and what...find another job in this market as well...no. I just always feel like men who are willing to relocate have nothing to leave behind.

The other thing I noticed about Texas men is they tend to be homeowners or desire to be. That's important to me because I suppose it's a sign of willing and able to make a committment.

I have met a lot of great guys here via online who are marriage minded and good men. But just not compatible for me...hmmm....perhaps I should start a matching service...lol.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

ElizaBlue are we residing in the same state? I find no man here it seems they are just repelled by me. I don't know maybe it's my age bracket that is doing it.

 

[kaynewme]

@kaynewme Not that we don't have some less desirables here as well, but it has always seemed to me that Texas...specifically Austin, Houston and Dallas have some great guys.

Everytime I found someone outside of my state particulary upstate they just seemed superficial and fast talking. I wonder if it has something to do with the ratio of available women. But also, what man is going to relocate to love?

I mean in this housing market he would have to be willing to give up equity and what...find another job in this market as well...no. I just always feel like men who are willing to relocate have nothing to leave behind.

The other thing I noticed about Texas men is they tend to be homeowners or desire to be. That's important to me because I suppose it's a sign of willing and able to make a committment.

I have met a lot of great guys here via online who are marriage minded and good men. But just not compatible for me...hmmm....perhaps I should start a matching service...lol.

Everytime I found someone outside of my state particulary upstate they just seemed superficial and fast talking....this is so true

 

[Bublin]

My profile is hidden at the moment but i was left feeling rejected by black men around my own age.
They would view my profile but never send me a message. The few i messaged made me feel like i was being too 'forward' and would act like i was a playa and cut me off. All i would say is something like, 'hi, I like your profile...'.
I was mainly messaged by very young white 'boys', much older white men and black men who had 'i got a job' as their occupation.
All the messages contain 'stunning', 'wow', 'you're beautiful'. No references to my write-up. I am showing zero flesh from the neck down so it's not like i'm attracting the wrong type.

This is the main reason why i gave it a break as i have low self esteem and being passed over, cut off for no reason or being spoken to like i am hiding something wasn't doing me any good.

Anyone have any insight on this one??

 

[Shay72]

Bublin
I really don't think you should see it that way. Showing their a$$es in the beginning is a good thing. It's helping you out. I'm sure you're passing over some men too. It goes both ways.

 

[mallysmommy]

been messaging two guys, and they both seem afraid or timid. oh well.

 

[ElizaBlue]

@ElizaBlue are we residing in the same state? I find no man here it seems they are just repelled by me. I don't know maybe it's my age bracket that is doing it.

GoddessMaker Lol...indeed we are. I suppose it could be the age group, most of the guys your age are probably not interested in the same things guys who are older may be into. But I said Arlington because I know Arlington, Plano and Dallas have a lot of newly minted corporate headquarters.

I see a lot of relos, as well as new grads on the dating sites who are from these areas. But that said I know of guys personally, other agents who are in those areas and others in Texas who are single, own a home and are divorced or maybe have small children. These are great guys just not my type.

And NO ONE is repelled by you. Don't say that...please...okay...thoughts are very powerful. Speak only what you want to become. I think attitude is everything really I do...we have to think good and pleasant thoughts prior to meeting our guy, because that aura extends quite far.

 

[ElizaBlue]

My profile is hidden at the moment but i was left feeling rejected by black men around my own age.
They would view my profile but never send me a message. The few i messaged made me feel like i was being too 'forward' and would act like i was a playa and cut me off. All i would say is something like, 'hi, I like your profile...'.
I was mainly messaged by very young white 'boys', much older white men and black men who had 'i got a job' as their occupation.
All the messages contain 'stunning', 'wow', 'you're beautiful'. No references to my write-up. I am showing zero flesh from the neck down so it's not like i'm attracting the wrong type.

This is the main reason why i gave it a break as i have low self esteem and being passed over, cut off for no reason or being spoken to like i am hiding something wasn't doing me any good.

Anyone have any insight on this one??

Bublin Don't give up sweetie, he's out there. What site are you on?

 

[crlsweetie912]

Bublin I am right there with ya........

 

[Keshieshimmer]

This is the main reason why i gave it a break as i have low self esteem and being passed over, cut off for no reason or being spoken to like i am hiding something wasn't doing me any good.

Anyone have any insight on this one??

This is one of the reason why I gave this a break. Like I know I am easy on the eyes and a have a lot going for me. But my ego was getting hurt by these fails at life. lol So I decided for my sanity that I needed to log off.

 

[Bublin]

@Bublin Don't give up sweetie, he's out there. What site are you on?

I'm on POF.

Bublin I am right there with ya........

What is it all about?

This is one of the reason why I gave this a break. Like I know I am easy on the eyes and a have a lot going for me. But my ego was getting hurt by these fails at life. lol So I decided for my sanity that I needed to log off.

Again, why? Do they think our profiles are fake? I mean, i'm totally passed over by the so-called decent guys, the ones i thought i would be a match with.

I'm disappointed at this but i see i'm not the only one. I guess i should stop taking things so personally.

 

[crlsweetie912]

I'm on POF.



What is it all about?



Again, why? Do they think our profiles are fake? I mean, i'm totally passed over by the so-called decent guys, the ones i thought i would be a match with.

I'm disappointed at this but i see i'm not the only one. I guess i should stop taking things so personally.

I have gotten guys who messaged me.....we get to the next step after talking back and forth for a few days, then never call.
Then the guys who just say "hi" what the hell am I supposed to say to that? How is that starting a conversation.
Then the guys who I have talked to, pussyfooting around going out on a real date....
Then the guys who I talk to who just go GHOST......no warning, no disagreement. We seem to be getting along well and they just disappear....

 

[Bublin]

Here's one i got from a grown man who viewed my profile but never messaged me.
Me: Hi, I like your profile, if you like mine it would be great to hear from you.
Him: Shame!!! I got caught!
Me: Oh, you've met someone, i'm glad for you.
Him: Nah, why you say that?
Me: Oh, i must have got the wrong end of the stick.
Him: I meant you caught me taking a peek at your profile.
Me: Oh OK.
It ends there. I was going to ask why he viewed and didn't message but figured it was a waste of time and encouraging the foolishness. Flunking ridiculous from a 36 year old man. I get this bull all the time. To me this is mind games. Why?

Those old white dudes are the respectful ones.....

 

[lushcoils]

I'm disappointed at this but i see i'm not the only one. I guess i should stop taking things so personally.

Bublin
Yea, try not to get too upset. If you read through this thread, you will see this is a common occurrence. So it's not just you. Why does it happen? That's online "dating" for you. That's why I recommend not depending on it, especially if you get these kind of results.

 

[Oasis]

my **** is dead. i'm not concerned because things always pick back up but come on! i need some guys to ignore and reject.

Here's one i got from a grown man who viewed my profile but never messaged me.
Me: Hi, I like your profile, if you like mine it would be great to hear from you.
Him: Shame!!! I got caught!
Me: Oh, you've met someone, i'm glad for you.
Him: Nah, why you say that?
Me: Oh, i must have got the wrong end of the stick.
Him: I meant you caught me taking a peek at your profile.
Me: Oh OK.
It ends there. I was going to ask why he viewed and didn't message but figured it was a waste of time and encouraging the foolishness. Flunking ridiculous from a 36 year old man. I get this bull all the time. To me this is mind games. Why?

i wouldn't call that a mind game. he was trying to be humorous, it went over your head and you assumed the worst. i'm honestly not trying to be mean but i'm getting low self-esteem vibes from this exchange.

and i don't find it odd that he looked but didn't message. no one messages every single person whose profile they view. that's not how it works. it's possible he just didn't think you two were compatible. now, if he looked several times and didn't message, i'd think he liked what he saw but was too chump to break the ice. just once though? i'd let that go.

 

[O-ren]

Here's one i got from a grown man who viewed my profile but never messaged me.
Me: Hi, I like your profile, if you like mine it would be great to hear from you.
Him: Shame!!! I got caught!
Me: Oh, you've met someone, i'm glad for you.
Him: Nah, why you say that?
Me: Oh, i must have got the wrong end of the stick.
Him: I meant you caught me taking a peek at your profile.
Me: Oh OK.

Please dont say such things again. Makes you seem uber insecure.

 

[CurliDiva]

Why did Mr. Cerebral Palsy send me an email (I guess he noticed that I was online) saying that since I was still on the site, I should have taken a chance with him. :/

Not really understanding his logic....but whatever

 

[CurliDiva]

Here's one i got from a grown man who viewed my profile but never messaged me.
Me: Hi, I like your profile, if you like mine it would be great to hear from you.
Him: Shame!!! I got caught!
Me: Oh, you've met someone, i'm glad for you.
Him: Nah, why you say that?
Me: Oh, i must have got the wrong end of the stick.
Him: I meant you caught me taking a peek at your profile.
Me: Oh OK.
It ends there. I was going to ask why he viewed and didn't message but figured it was a waste of time and encouraging the foolishness. Flunking ridiculous from a 36 year old man. I get this bull all the time. To me this is mind games. Why?

Hey @Bublin,

I keep hearing of women getting upset because men viewed their profile, but didn't write, and I don't understand!

Do you write every man whose profile you click on?

There may be one or more screening factors that's a relationship deal breaker for him just like there will be for you.

These are complete strangers, so don't take it so personal.

But in the meanwhile, take a objective look at your profile or show it to a friend that you trust for their advice.

I did this for a friend and she removed some unflattering photos, pared down her profile text (had 6 long paragraphs) and tweaked the type of relationship seeking.

Don't let these guys stress you out!

 

[Bublin]

To all who have given me advice. I appreciate it and have taken it on board. Love you guys.

Yes,i agree with @O-ren ,my insecurities are visible in my replies but i honestly don't know how to answer these four word messages......that is why i think 'mind games' because a genuine person would say something that would generate a conversation, not leave you dangling.

Oasis POF doesn't say how many times the person has viewed you but the most recent is at the top and the faces are doing a rotation!!!
CurliDiva A member here is looking over my profile at the moment.

I have another question - A guy has been messaging you and suddenly drops off, you see him online but he doesn't reply to your last message. 2 days go by and then he messages you with 'hi, how was your weekend', like it's a first message. Now for me i see it as the other woman he was talking to has not worked out so he has come back to me. Am i being sensitive for feeling like second best/he just disappears and expects me to accept his small talk?

 

[tinkat]

Finally a guy on POF that appears to be normal messaged me. The only thing is that he is like 10 years older but do not look it. He sent me his yahoo im so we are having a lil conversation. IDK....

 

[beloved1bx]

I was one of those people who swore they would never try online dating. I watch too much Law & Order: SVU and am convinced everyone is a killah. But now it seems that EVERYONE i know is in a relationship except me, and frankly i'm bored. So after browsing this thread I signed up for POF. We'll see how this goes...

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

OKC has been producing some weird people and POF has left alot to be desired. I don't know how I feel about paid sites simple bc I'm not on baller status quite yet. I think I need to think what things I like,and try to make a hobby to occupy my time. Even after my profile exam nothing has produced. Maybe I'm a bit of a mix of impatient and unrealistic. I do agree as some have said I may look at someone page and the deeper of me thinks I'm not up to spec quite yet for some or some seem really into self so I keep it moving then some I like really hope will message me. But its like anything else a numbers game.

We put our best pics forward and hope for the best. I will give it some more thought and see if anything produces.

 

[LilMissSunshine5]

Hello ladies Like most of you, I am getting frustrated with the lack of quality men I'm encountering LOL I have encountered 2 decent guys (in the past month on BPM) who suddenly disappeared after dates/lots of phone convos. But I chalk it up to "He's just not that into you!", which is fine by me, bc it is better to know early on versus later in the interaction But it just sucks to not encounter men who are remotely compatible with me But this is how the dating game goes, so it is what it is at this point I'm not taking it personal yet, but soon I may start if it keeps going this way I just keep reminding myself I don't need a ton of quality guys, just one who thinks the world of me

 

[LilMissSunshine5]

Bublin- That has happened to me (the inconsistent thing irks me) and I don't respond. I honestly think you teach people how to treat you and I refuse to engage with someone who has expressed interest and then fallen off. If he offered a satisfactory explanation for his absence upfront, then I'd consider, but acting like he didn't disappear is unacceptable to me. The guys who were flaky and tried to come back were likely talking to someone else and it didn't work out. But a wise female mentor in my life once told me "It is none of my business what other people think of me" and it changed my whole mentality on life and dating. Those guys may have thought I was a back up option, but it is none of my business really and I'll never really know what he was thinking anyway, so why waste the energy speculating? I do hear the insecurity in your messages and that may be a big part of the problem. No one can make you feel any kind of way unless you let them! The only person who can make you feel second best is you IMO

For me, what truly matters is what I think of myself. I know I deserve to be a priority in someone's life and only entertain others that share that view. So if a guy is inconsistent or doesn't do what he says he'll do, I keep it moving because I know I deserve better than that. It is most likely not due to a lack/fault of mine, but simply I wasn't what he was looking for or he isn't prepared to give me the respect and consideration I require. Either way, I'm good I hope this encourages you hon! If not, shoot, I just encouraged myself with this post

 

[naturallygoldie]

Ladies Listen UP!

You all, every single one of you. Yes you too (the one wondering if I am speaking to her!)

Look, you are too beautiful with too many things going on in your lives to wonder why he hasn't written or whatever! I hear these dating websites leave a lot to be desired and there's a lot of kangs/losers/timid chumps/etc on 'em. Well, it's 2012. There's a lot of fake men (and women) online and off. Why? I don't know.

I do know that there are still a lot of wonderful people in the world. If you logged on today, you must be alive and that's a great reason to be happy. Don't stress over these little insignificant things because when you find "The One" it will all be a foggy memory. Take each and every experience as that: AN EXPERIENCE. Neither good nor bad or a mistake. Just a happening to learn from. If it doesn't work out, well hey it just doesn't. If it wasn't meant to be, well then it just wasn't.

And? Life goes on.

Let go of the past and march bravely towards your destiny. If he hasn't written, sends you jokes that go over your head or just generally confuses you- maybe that's just life saying he's not the one for you. So what "he's just not that into you?" ?????? Think about it, whose loss is it really?

HIS


As for insecurities...we all have them. If you're letting it affect this one aspect of your life, it probably affects other aspects as well. You are woman..the fiercest being on the planet. The mother of civilization. When you cower and hang your head low, you risk dropping your crown and seeing what's coming towards you. Now why would you wanna do that?

I leave you with this: relish in the greatest love of all YOURSELF. "The One" is gonna come when it's time for it to happen. Some people find love very young and it lasts a lifetime..sometimes it takes a lifetime to find love, but it'll be the love that keeps you young. It will heal every hurt and disappointment, cloud 9 here you come!

Smile big, smile often because you are you. <3

 

[O-ren]

T

I have another question - A guy has been messaging you and suddenly drops off, you see him online but he doesn't reply to your last message. 2 days go by and then he messages you with 'hi, how was your weekend', like it's a first message. Now for me i see it as the other woman he was talking to has not worked out so he has come back to me. Am i being sensitive for feeling like second best/he just disappears and expects me to accept his small talk?

Just reply to him like any other person. you shouldnt even know he's online unless he's talking to you at that moment.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Ladies Listen UP!



As for insecurities...we all have them. If you're letting it affect this one aspect of your life, it probably affects other aspects as well. You are woman..the fiercest being on the planet. The mother of civilization. When you cower and hang your head low, you risk dropping your crown and seeing what's coming towards you. Now why would you wanna do that?

<3

^^^ This is so powerful and so true.

The one I'm with now treats me better than any man has ever treated me, emotionally, physically and financially. But if tomorrow he trips and falls and becomes something other than what I need and want in my life I will thank him...profusely for the happiness he brought me...and move on.

I will never see a relationship failure or failure to materialize as a reason to stop seeking love and happiness. This guy could really be it for me...then again he could just be another season and not my life time. Note to self: I'm really hoping he is my lifetime...lol. But at any rate I know me being happy is more about me being happy with me. The he in my life simply compliments what and who I already am...so the absense or addition of a man doesn't change that.

Co-signing to the OP and about to sign off and step into the jacuzzi with my choo choo train driver with some chilled Moscato...TMI right?

Goodnight ladies and Brightest Blessings!

 

[ElizaBlue]

Here's one i got from a grown man who viewed my profile but never messaged me.
Me: Hi, I like your profile, if you like mine it would be great to hear from you.
Him: Shame!!! I got caught!
Me: Oh, you've met someone, i'm glad for you.
Him: Nah, why you say that?
Me: Oh, i must have got the wrong end of the stick.
Him: I meant you caught me taking a peek at your profile.
Me: Oh OK.
It ends there

Bublin It doesn't have to end...there....

Me: So...tell me did you enjoy your peek?

Him: Yes..I did

Me: Cool...maybe you should take a peek more often...lol.

Him: Blah blah blah

Me: You're funny. Tell me, how has this site been treating you? Have you
met the one you can't live without yet?

Him: No....blah blah blah

Me: I see...I'm still looking as well...but I know he's out there or at least someone who will make me laugh...is that you?

Him: Blah blah blah blah

Me: I like your (_____________) it seems like you (____________) I bet you are (______________) which makes me think about (________________)

Him: Really? You mean that?

Me: Indeed...I do

Him: We should hang out sometime....you seem like a really cool chick.

Me: I'd like that

To be continued..............

 

[laCriolla]

WHAT does this say?? seeking women 25-45? (aka just a warm body?)
_______________
tont225
tont225
33,
Seeking women 25-45
Add to Favorites »
Looking for a independant woman
Im 6 foot 200lbs muscular build Im very ouutgoing respectful and understading I like traveling going to the movies comedy shows and to sport bars I enjoy working out too Im looking for a female that is independant, family orient, and love to have fun.
From: tont225 / Received: March 04, 2012



hi
hoow u doin ms lady u seem to kwn wat u wnt n life frm ur profile wouuld like too knw more