I wouldn't be surprised. They send canned messages. To lazy to send something thoughtful.
Is his name Carl?
***Online Dating Support Thread***
- Thread starter JollyGal
- Start date
I wouldn't be surprised. They send canned messages. To lazy to send something thoughtful.
Is his name Carl?
i started around the middle and skipped around. Its not really about the online dating thing in general. My current SO of 2 years i met online so i know all about it. But i'm mostly talking about the specific sites yall are using and the stories associated with them. She wanted to join OKC but i may have to change her mind about that with all the things i'm hearing about the men on there.
This thread got "better" briefly and then took a quick turn back to reality.
I say, she should give it try. Maybe she'll be one of the few lucky ones, but just tell her not to get her hopes up too much.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
I think online dating is much like traditional dating for the most part. You still have to wade through the duds..............
tropical-punch
Well-Known Member
This dude is really starting to press meeting tonight. We just started texting yesterday 
erplexed
erplexed
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
I was on blackpeoplemeet.....I never met anyone though, old guys, white guys, guys with doo rags and baseball caps, and guys from across the country. But you will get lots of "flirts" and the guy will want you to message them (they haven't paid on the site....so they want you to do all the work....
So this 36yr old that looks 50 messages me with the usual 'hi'. I read his profile and I am just sick of grown arse men 'looking for friends' and 'they got a job'.
So naughty me decided to tell him that we weren't a match because i'm a grown woman and don't need more 'friends' and that his occupation field was not filled out correctly (I usually just ignore but i couldn' help myself today).
I then blocked him but somehow he got another message through -
He told me 'well it all starts as friends and that if i took profiles literally then i was going to be on here for a very long time and my attitude was bad
...and that is probably why i was on the shelf'.
Note: He did not mention his occupation .
Another fool has been viewing my profile since i joined about 5 weeks ago and just messaged me saying he is new to all of this and that i am gorgeous and oh, I must hear that all he time. What can a guy like him do to get my attention?'
and side eye from me.
I'm a bad girl tonight, I messaged him back, telling him he has been on here for at least as long as me and keeps viewing my profile.
So naughty me decided to tell him that we weren't a match because i'm a grown woman and don't need more 'friends' and that his occupation field was not filled out correctly (I usually just ignore but i couldn' help myself today).
I then blocked him but somehow he got another message through -
He told me 'well it all starts as friends and that if i took profiles literally then i was going to be on here for a very long time and my attitude was bad
...and that is probably why i was on the shelf'. Note: He did not mention his occupation .
Another fool has been viewing my profile since i joined about 5 weeks ago and just messaged me saying he is new to all of this and that i am gorgeous and oh, I must hear that all he time. What can a guy like him do to get my attention?'
and side eye from me.I'm a bad girl tonight, I messaged him back, telling him he has been on here for at least as long as me and keeps viewing my profile.
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Keshieshimmer
Active Member
Another fool has been viewing my profile since i joined about 5 weeks ago and just messaged me saying he is new to all of this and that i am gorgeous and oh, I must hear that all he time. What can a guy like him do to get my attention?'
I'm a bad girl tonight, I messaged him back, telling him he has been on here for at least as long as me and keeps viewing my profile.
Aww you were kinda mean with this dude. Maybe he was a bit scared? Or he did not think you would like you?
SUPER SWEET
Well-Known Member
let me go log on, i need some laughs.
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
no, not Carl
that means there are 2 of them out there...at least...
laCriolla
Or same guy...different profile...different name...same tactics...
I've busted several doing this. They had a profile for women in every age group...but were too dumb to change the messages. One guy was actually posting his sons pics with his younger profile....
erplexed
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
my friend ended up joining POF.
I helped her with her profile. She was totally nervous and felt very awkward since she has never done this before. The first 2 days we both went thru some of the guys and let me read some of her messages from the men. And i must say...she didn't get any weirdos (yet). They came at her pretty respectfully and with actual conversations. But i want to believe that it was my doing by putting demands in her profile. BIG difference from when i was dating online years ago. I wish this thread was around back then, cuz i really could have used this venting process.
I helped her with her profile. She was totally nervous and felt very awkward since she has never done this before. The first 2 days we both went thru some of the guys and let me read some of her messages from the men. And i must say...she didn't get any weirdos (yet). They came at her pretty respectfully and with actual conversations. But i want to believe that it was my doing by putting demands in her profile. BIG difference from when i was dating online years ago. I wish this thread was around back then, cuz i really could have used this venting process.
mallysmommy
Well-Known Member
yaaay so i guess 4 times is the charm. i went to close my account on okc and there was one last message from a cute guy. we talked backed and forth for over 50 messages and ended up swaping numbers. i just got off the phone with him we'd been talking for over 3 hrs. hes a great conversationalist and he had me laughing too. i have good feelings so far but i am of course very cautious.
Yes eventually you see it just a bit of fun - well kind of. The way how these guys carry on is a joke and you have to see the funny in it. Taking it too seriously can make it a stressful process - I was guilty of this. I was expecting too much too soon. I can see myself weeding out fools for a long time. Don't take any of it personally, they don't know you.
@laCriolla
Or same guy...different profile...different name...same tactics...
I've busted several doing this. They had a profile for women in every age group...but were too dumb to change the messages. One guy was actually posting his sons pics with his younger profile....
oh-my-goodness!!! WHYYY would they do this? are they sex offenders? I mean seriously are they criminals? What are they going to do when you show up for the date expecting to see (the son's picture)?
I went out on a date from match . com and it was with a guy using his bother's WHOLE profile. I don't know which brother i'd interacted with online, and which brother showed up, but the guy said "It's my brother's profile, i was just online and then wanted to talk to you"
ummm....and you think this is acceptable at any age? It's deceitful. it shows a lack of conscience. I dont want to date a sociopath.
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
All of the above...lol. I think some guys think that when they meet you in person you won't care what they look like. Women are guilty of this too. That's why I always insist on webcamming prior to even thinking about meeting IRL.
The funny thing is when I say I want to webcam they come out with all sorts of crazy excuses...camera broke...yesterday, don't have a cam on their computer (even though their profile pic is from a webcam)
.This also helps me see how a guy is living. I was once talking to this guy and when we finally did cam his house looked like the bat cave meets hoarders. I didn't even say goodbye...scared the crap out of me.
he told me about 1/2 way through the date he told me. the whole thing felt *off* from the beginning so I wasn't disappointed or anything lol I'd already decided he was a 'no'.
he also spoke about his ex-g.f. and how he was disgusted by her nude body or something like that. he was creepy. I thought it was clear that the date was bad, but he called me a few times after- I never picked up the phone.
eta: the date lasted about as long as it took me to drink a tea/lemonade from starbucks (where we met)
All of the above...lol. I think some guys think that when they meet you in person you won't care what they look like. Women are guilty of this too. That's why I always insist on webcamming prior to even thinking about meeting IRL.
The funny thing is when I say I want to webcam they come out with all sorts of crazy excuses...camera broke...yesterday, don't have a cam on their computer (even though their profile pic is from a webcam)
This also helps me see how a guy is living. I was once talking to this guy and when we finally did cam his house looked like the bat cave meets hoarders. I didn't even say goodbye...scared the crap out of me.
excellent idea to web-cam first! omg these guys are odd. what happened ? i swear my mom didn't have to deal with such things in her day lol
what income level are you guys putting on POF for your profile?
what you actually earn or higher?
I'm a full time student, part time tutor so my earnings are negligible lol, but even at 35,00-50,000 they kept matching me with bums, who I know were not earning that!
what you actually earn or higher?
I'm a full time student, part time tutor so my earnings are negligible lol, but even at 35,00-50,000 they kept matching me with bums, who I know were not earning that!
Incognitus
Well-Known Member
Ok, I need some online dating etiquette tips please.
How soon should you exchange numbers? what's the norm?
Also, I get these emails from seemingly normal men, but I respond and then it seems to go nowhere. Like one guy said "maybe we can go out to dinner sometime", and that was it. It's seems like many guys I meet have no "follow through" Is it just me? Am I expecting too much? It never used to be this hard.
On another note: One guy I exchaged numbers with asked me for a pic so he can "put it on the caller id" Um, that just makes me nervous.erplexed
How soon should you exchange numbers? what's the norm?
Also, I get these emails from seemingly normal men, but I respond and then it seems to go nowhere. Like one guy said "maybe we can go out to dinner sometime", and that was it. It's seems like many guys I meet have no "follow through" Is it just me? Am I expecting too much? It never used to be this hard.
On another note: One guy I exchaged numbers with asked me for a pic so he can "put it on the caller id" Um, that just makes me nervous.
erplexed
tinkat
Well-Known Member
Incognitus I am finding that they do not follow through. Or you have good conversation but nothing else happens. I just keep it moving now. I am noticing that a lot of these guys talk about wanting to be friends. What the point of being on the site?
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