***Online Dating Support Thread***

RocStar said:
I guess I see "What's up" as the same as "Hi." Just a way to break the ice.

In real life (in person) I would not automatically give the side eye to someone who approaches me and says "What's up?" (Now if they said "What's up shorty" or "What it do?" that is a different story)

It is cool that "What's up" is not the way you want to be approached, and that it a sure way for them not to get a response from you, but I don't think it is disrespectful or that someone is not trying to treat you like a lady by saying it. Let's not confuse weak game with being disrespectful.

I also don't know what his race has to do with anything.
Click to expand...

I guess its all about the person as some ladies are more laid back than others.I'm a very serious type of person so each interaction I try to go 100 percent.

The race has nothing but when I'm venting I pull it all out..
 
what's up is lazy esp online..unless it's IM chat

to read a person's profile and all you can say is "what's up" is wack as hell. Find something you liked about the profile, mention it as an icebreaker..that's what people with common sense do

"what's up" usually leads to "oh nothing". Then what? See? Lazy.
 
"What's up?" is a sign that you suck at conversation in my opinion. I've responded to some "what's up" messages and in my experience, those dudes always respond with short answers, don't ask questions, and rely on you to keep the conversation going.

Honestly, even when good friends text me "What's up?" I already know they don't have ish to say... and the conversation ends quickly.
 
I have a question ladies.
As i mentioned upthread i am going on a 2nd date this Valentines weekend and he has made a whole day of it.
He has booked theatre tickets for The Lion King which will be £84. He has also booked a Stand-up comedy show in the evening at £15 each. Inbetween we'll be going for dinner in Soho.

My question is do i/should i offer to pay for dinner? Should i bring a Vday gift? What kind of gift? A card?

We talk every evening and text throughout most days so we are really getting to know each other/communicating alot. Our first date was 10 days ago.
 
Bublin said:
Can you expand on this @meesch ?
Do you say that because it's just the second date and i shouldn't give him a gift and/or offer to pay?
Click to expand...

Well, I wouldn't offer to pay because from what you've described, he's doing a whole "thing" here, and I would feel like I would be needlessly stepping on that. I would let the man be a man.

I wouldn't get him a gift because, again, I would feel like he planned the whole endeavor to treat me, and I would want to keep him in the frame of mind that I am just the receiver of his affections at this point. Also, yeah, I would think it was too early for ME to be buying HIM gifts. Also also I think girls giving guys gifts, apart from his birthday and Christmas, is sort of weird and I don't really do that.

There's a deeper explanation that I'm not sure I could articulate well... like, early on in a relationship if the guy is trying to do things for me and cater to or pamper me, if I stepped in and flipped that on him (even with something as simple as paying or reciprocation for a gift) I would be communicating that his affection and gestures are a sort of currency... or as if I am not deserving of his actions and that I have to compensate or return them in order to get them. Maybe a simpler way of saying this would be something like, keeping him in the frame of giving giving giving to me without thinking he should get something in return for it. (That's not to say I would never buy a guy anything or do anything for him, because I would, but I would keep the onus of responsibility for treating on him.)

Idk. I'm rambling. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense.
 
^^^you are making complete sense. I think i'll forgo the gift, not offer to pay for dinner but will probably offer to buy a drink whilst at the comedy club.
Thanks for the advice.
 
:hiya: ladies, I'm looking to join you guys for support :yay: After trying online dating with disastrous results last summer, I am finally back in the game :lol: I just joined a site 6 days ago (BPM) and met 2 potentials...one (who seems like a nice guy so far) asked me out yesterday and I accepted. But now I am really nervous bc we have only talked through email and I haven't been on a date in 8 months bc of the previous fiasco with Match and OKC last summer! We exchanged numbers yesterday, but I don't know if I should call him to confirm everything or what? He sent a msg first, asked me out, etc., so should I let him call first? Or does that seem too passive? I don't want to set the wrong tone for our interaction, but I just think we should maybe talk on the phone once before the date :lol:
 
LilMissSunshine5 said:
:hiya: ladies, I'm looking to join you guys for support :yay: After trying online dating with disastrous results last summer, I am finally back in the game :lol: I just joined a site 6 days ago (BPM) and met 2 potentials...one (who seems like a nice guy so far) asked me out yesterday and I accepted. But now I am really nervous bc we have only talked through email and I haven't been on a date in 8 months bc of the previous fiasco with Match and OKC last summer! We exchanged numbers yesterday, but I don't know if I should call him to confirm everything or what? He sent a msg first, asked me out, etc., so should I let him call first? Or does that seem too passive? I don't want to set the wrong tone for our interaction, but I just think we should maybe talk on the phone once before the date :lol:
Click to expand...

Since you exchanged numbers that means he has your number and should call you. Do not call him. You need to have a conversation and details of the date need to be confirmed.
 
RocStar said:
I guess I see "What's up" as the same as "Hi." Just a way to break the ice.

In real life (in person) I would not automatically give the side eye to someone who approaches me and says "What's up?" (Now if they said "What's up shorty" or "What it do?" that is a different story)

It is cool that "What's up" is not the way you want to be approached, and that it a sure way for them not to get a response from you, but I don't think it is disrespectful or that someone is not trying to treat you like a lady by saying it. Let's not confuse weak game with being disrespectful.

I also don't know what his race has to do with anything.
Click to expand...

ITA :yep:. Laugh it off and keep it moving.
 
When I sent messages on OKCupid, I said hey, asked how they were and told them what I saw on their profile that made me want to message them...

I actually had a guy message me, "hey. shouldn't be in someone's rap video?!" - wow? wtf is THAT?!
 
personally, the messages that irk me the most are "Hey. I liked your profile. I would like to get to know you better."

:look:

Yes, its sweet and polite but ambiguous. How exactly do you respond to that? Thanks?
 
this man is propositioning me to be his sugar baby.

He wrote me a message, and laid out everything and promised nice dinners, travel, shopping excursions and cash in exchange for my company (and sex, I presume).

The surprising thing is that he's neither old not bad looking. I'm sad that his life has come to this.

I haven't responded (it was few days ago), but I saw that he came to visit my profile again. I think I'm gonna message him back, saying I appreciate the offer, but that I'm looking for something "real". Just to see what he says :lol:
 
This guy that just messaged me works for the same company as I do! .....LOL. He works across the state, but in one of his pictures he has on his uniform shirt! That's so freaky!
 
Last edited:
my profile is all of 3 sentences. then it says fyi-I'm not interested in bald men. i have a hair fetish and i'm a sucker for curly hair.'
i have about 200 emails from bald dudes talking about hi, your profile sounds like a great match for me :perplexed: ..smh
 
i don't respond to "whats up?" or ''you're so pretty/beautiful/sexy'' messages. you need to give me some sort of indication that you read my profile. i'm way too interesting and funny for you to not have anything to comment on.:look:

i need a date this weekend. desperately. i've gotten so used to them.:sad:
 
Oasis said:
i don't respond to "whats up?" or ''you're so pretty/beautiful/sexy'' messages. you need to give me some sort of indication that you read my profile. i'm way too interesting and funny for you to not have anything to comment on.:look:

i need a date this weekend. desperately. i've gotten so used to them.:sad:
Click to expand...

honestly, if the guy is cute enough/i like his profile, i really dont care what his initial message said. hey whats up messages are only :look: face when the dude is ugly and/or wack.
 
meesch said:
honestly, if the guy is cute enough/i like his profile, i really dont care what his initial message said. hey whats up messages are only :look: face when the dude is ugly and/or wack.
Click to expand...

i'm always willing to make exceptions for hotties.:look: a guy i'm talking to now sent me "please be my baby mama?!" as the introduction.:look: i asked when he wanted to get started.:look:
 
sylver2 said:
my profile is all of 3 sentences. then it says fyi-I'm not interested in bald men. i have a hair fetish and i'm a sucker for curly hair.'
i have about 200 emails from bald dudes talking about hi, your profile sounds like a great match for me :perplexed: ..smh
Click to expand...

Lol. Maybe they just searched for the word "bald," and sent a message without reading assuming it was in your profile because you have a bald man fetish.
 
Tonight I updated my profile and seemed to get alot of hits tonight.I even got a few messages tonight too.There was one guy from ny sadly he has mad tat's but he is cute to me..Im just going to try and not be so serious which is a job in its self and go with the flow..lets see what can happen.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

P
Online Dating and Background Checks
Replies
6
Views
186
StLucianSweetie
StLucianSweetie
K
What's the best online dating site?
Replies
0
Views
58
Katrice
K
L
Online Dating 101
Replies
1
Views
72
MummysGirl
MummysGirl
L
Online Dating: Give me the Scoop
Replies
3
Views
152
Etherealsmile
Etherealsmile
lipyt
online dating precautions!
Replies
6
Views
153
caltron
caltron
Back
Top