***Online Dating Support Thread***

Theo said:
Oh was this to me? I thought we were still talking about ElizaBlue lol. My friend was telling me I should meet him somewhere crowded and then scope him out from afar but that's mean! Right? Then she said I should have a friend call with emergency so I can have an excuse to leave but I don't want to do that to him. I would hate if someone did that to me :lol:

I dunno would you go out with him? I might post his pics up here so y'all can give me your opinion...
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just meet him at noon and tell him it's your lunch break so you only have time for coffee. that way you only have to spend an hour with him, no pressure for all involved.

but also post the pics :look: :lol:
 
meesch said:
just meet him at noon and tell him it's your lunch break so you only have time for coffee. that way you only have to spend an hour with him, no pressure for all involved.

but also post the pics :look: :lol:
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That could actually work out really well... cuz most of my classes are held in the bldg right across the street from the hospital so it would make sense.... and there are bunch of coffee spots on the campus.... good idea. lol

@meesch
@Charz
Pics. No quoting... I'mma poof them in a minute.



Pic 1.... He's the one closest to the front



Pic 2.... This is the best one IMO. He doesn't look bad here



Pic 3... Here things start to look a little murky :look:



Pic 4...This is just sketchy. :perplexed

Thoughts? :look:
 
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Theo said:
I dunno would you go out with him? I might post his pics up here so y'all can give me your opinion...
Click to expand...

do it!:look:

i met this dood online and his pics left a lot to be desired. i didn't find him attractive in the least. the only reason i decided to go out with him was because he wasn't completely hideous and he was super funny. i went on the first date with no expectations regarding his looks.

when this nig-nog walked out of the restaurant to greet me i was blown away. he's not a 10 or anything, far from it, but he was soooo my type and those pictures didn't do him justice. i told him that too. i straight up said he looked ugly as **** in pics.:lol: to this day i still have never been physically attracted to anyone like i was/am:look: to him. gosh, it was, like, magnetic. damn, he is so cute and intelligent and hilarious. i miss his dumb *** so ****ing much.:cry:

my bad for getting off topic.:lachen:the point is, i'm glad i gave his funny looking self a chance.
 
LOL they're up there. Can you not see them?

My thing is... when ppl put these suspect looking pics up... are these best pics that you have? Why did you choose that pic?

Plus your dude was super funny. Super funny covers a multitude of sins :lol:
 
Theo said:
lol @ElizaBlue

why is he contacting you again if y'all went out before and it didn't work out?

maybe you were the inspiration behind his weight loss!

If so, that's sweet :yep:
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Theo Hmmm...I don't think so. He has since been married and now is divorced. He gave me his FB to look at his before an after pics. His wife was very pretty and very heavy as well. So I wonder if they decided to get the bypass together or she did it first and decided BYE chubby...lol.

He just got back on the site and saw me and I guess thought well...maybe this time...but honestly his "Total Recall" of so much about me scared the hecky out of me. It was a bit obsessive, I mean for me not to remember him at all and for him to remember every little detail about me...sort of creeped me out. :lachen:
 
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Theo said:
LOL they're up there. Can you not see them?

My thing is... when ppl put these suspect looking pics up... are these best pics that you have? Why did you choose that pic?

Plus your dude was super funny. Super funny covers a multitude of sins :lol:
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no, i can't see them and i agree. i feel kinda bad about always putting my best pics up, because i know i don't always look like that, but sometimes i'm stunned at how folks want themselves to be represented.:nono: like really, you couldn't find a pic where you didn't have eye boogers?:look:

and yeah, i've found that i'm willing to overlook quite a few things for a funny guy.:ohwell:
 
Oasis said:
do it!:look:

i met this dood online and his pics left a lot to be desired. i didn't find him attractive in the least. the only reason i decided to go out with him was because he wasn't completely hideous and he was super funny. i went on the first date with no expectations regarding his looks.

when this nig-nog walked out of the restaurant to greet me i was blown away. he's not a 10 or anything, far from it, but he was soooo my type and those pictures didn't do him justice. i told him that too. i straight up said he looked ugly as **** in pics.:lol: to this day i still have never been physically attracted to anyone like i was/am:look: to him. gosh, it was, like, magnetic. damn, he is so cute and intelligent and hilarious. i miss his dumb *** so ****ing much.:cry:

my bad for getting off topic.:lachen:the point is, i'm glad i gave his funny looking self a chance.
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Oasis Wow...this is true not everyone is photogenic. But what happen with the guy...chemistry is a funny thing you either have it or you don't. And you are so right chemistry is soooo hard to get over.
 
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eh. i dont think he's bad looking. he's probably not photogenic. my boo looks much cuter irl than he was in his okcupid pics, and i thought those were pretty passable. i wouldn't be concerned about your guy being fug, myself. he looks decent to me, even in those poor quality photos.

My thing is... when ppl put these suspect looking pics up... are these best pics that you have? Why did you choose that pic?
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actually, posting pics where you don't look your best is a really good strategy. that weeds out people who are going to judge you harshly based on your looks, and then if they do decide to meet you will exceed their expectations. win win.
 
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meesch said:
eh. i dont think he's bad looking. he's probably not photogenic. my boo looks much cuter irl than he was in his okcupid pics, and i thought those were pretty passable. i wouldn't be concerned about him being fug, myself.



actually, posting pics where you don't look your best is a really good strategy. that weeds out people who are going to judge you harshly based on your looks, and then if they do decide to meet you will exceed their expectations. win win.
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hmm... interesting idea.

lol my friend said it can't be worse than ole "one hand sam" that I went out with awhile back... she's probably right
 
i would go out with him. a few of the pics are a bit murky:lol: but it's clear he's not a bad looking guy.

:rofl: @ one hand sam.

ElizaBlue said:
@Oasis Wow...this is true not everyone is photogenic. But what happen with the guy...chemistry is a funny thing you either have it or you don't. And you are so right chemistry is soooo hard to get over.
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i told him i just wanted casual, fun, and nothing serious and he wanted the opposite. i had no idea what i actually wanted until it was too late.
 
It's too bad we can't post pics here and a review of the bad ones. But you really just don't ever know whose on this site. :ohwell:
 
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Oasis said:
i would go out with him. a few of the pics are a bit murky:lol: but it's clear he's not a bad looking guy.

:rofl: @ one hand sam.



i told him i just wanted casual, fun, and nothing serious and he wanted the opposite. i had no idea what i actually wanted until it was too late.
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Aww... he wasn't open to being more serious after you changed your mind?
 
I delete my pof account:-) im officially taken LOL
The crazy part is that I wasn't looking to meet anyone
serious but something were out of my control LOL
 
alwaysinchrist said:
I delete my pof account:-) im officially taken LOL
The crazy part is that I wasn't looking to meet anyone
serious but something were out of my control LOL
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Is this the same guy you were talking about before? (Went out to meet, stayed the weekend, decided to break it off with?)
 
Oasis said:
i would go out with him. a few of the pics are a bit murky:lol: but it's clear he's not a bad looking guy.

:rofl: @ one hand sam.



i told him i just wanted casual, fun, and nothing serious and he wanted the opposite. i had no idea what i actually wanted until it was too late.
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Aww...too bad. I had one like that...it took me like a year to get him out of my system, but then I found out some things about him that made me understand why it never would have worked. But he always held it over my head that I broke up with him for no reason. I think that sort of bothered me more than anything.
 
Theo said:
Thanks @Bublin, I think I'm going to do like you did and keep talking to him, but ignore this first date request :lol:

We'll see how it goes. I haven't talked to him enough to know if I like him or not. I'm all for the idea of black women dating out of their race but I have never been able to actually make myself do it. Every time one of them asks me out, I find some arbitrary reason to not go :lol:.

I also hold them to ridiculously high standards which is silly, cuz I can be really tolerant with black guys :rolleyes:. I don't know what my hang up is...
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@Theo - aw i missed the pics.
Isn't it sad we set very high standards for non black men but will tolerate crap from black men. Infact all the white guys that messaged me were nice and resepectful and quite open. The black guys all acted like they got game and would go days inbetween messages and eventually reply like they hadn't disappeared. Soo tired of the mind games which is why i gave this guy a chance.
Disclaimer - not saying all black guys are like this but i felt it was time to broaden my horizons.
Regarding meeting him in a crowded/public place. Yes, this is always a good idea but don't act like he is axe murderer just because he is white. Men are men.

On another note me and my 'friend' have already had discussions like we have on LHCF on interracial relationships. It was very interesting and he seems so cool. He did say that black guys will give him the evil stares because he is walking with me. I asked him how he would feel about that and he said he would hold me closer and not really care :grin:. He says he is not really attracted to white women so to him interracial relationships are the norm.
 
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Bublin said:
@Theo - aw i missed the pics.
Isn't it sad we set very high standards for non black men but will tolerate crap from black men. Infact all the white guys that messaged me were nice and resepectful and quite open. The black guys all acted like they got game and would go days inbetween messages and eventually reply like they hadn't disappeared. Soo tired of the mind games which is why i gave this guy a chance.
Disclaimer - not saying all black guys are like this but i felt it was time to broaden my horizons.
Regarding meeting him in a crowded/public place. Yes, this is always a good idea but don't act like he is axe murderer just because he is white. Men are men.

On another note me and my 'friend' have already had discussions like we have on LHCF on interracial relationships. It was very interesting and he seems so cool. He did say that black guys will give him the evil stares because he is walking with me. I asked him how he would feel about that and he said he would hold me closer and not really care :grin:. He says he is not really attracted to white women so to him interracial relationships are the norm.
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LOL yeah my friend was telling me to do the same thing, re: broadening my horizons. Online dating is interesting. Weirdly, I have wayyy more white guys hitting me up than black ones, which is not how it is for in IRL for me at all. I was kinda disappointed TBH.

But we'll see. LOL I tried ignoring it, but he just asked me out yet again. He's pushy. :perplexed

But I've got plans for this wknd and the next so he's just going to have to chill with all of that :lol:

I wonder what your dude's issues with white woman are. I hope he's not self-hating. J/k haha. He sounds pretty great from everything else you've said here. :yep:
 
^^^nah he doesn't come across like he's self hating at all. He says he has dated other non-white races and just doesn't find white women in general attractive.....don't forget he is half Italian and love them some black women - ha ha.
Also, don't forget i've only been on one date with this guy and have talked for hours most evenings so my experience is to be taken lightly when it comes to interracial dating. There are many women on here who can advise better on that. I can just relate to you when it comes to stepping out of your comfort zone and going on that first date.
 
omg I think I'mma have to delete my OKC account... I stay getting found out.

This is the THIRD TIME someone I know IRL has found me on OKC :lol:

This dude just sent me a msg like "Theo, stop lying to people, you know you have a boyfriend" :blush::nono::blush:

He knows my ex. Actually... his best friend from college is one of my old classmates is best friends with my ex. :blush: :lol:

So now I'm wondering if he actually does know something... cuz I know his best friend keeps him updated on the gossip going on in our group of friends... I'm wondering if my ex let some things leak and it somehow got back to him or something. I know he had been told to not get involved with me on that level :rolleyes:. Honestly his BFF and I are really close too, like brother and sister almost... ( I know they whole thing is really really messy, but its yeah, its like that in med school classes... everyone is close with everybody. They call it "medcest") Either way even if his friend told him not to mess with me, that has never stopped a guy if they were truly interested.

Our match percentage is really high... but that always happened when I see somebody I know.... which make sense b/c they're my friends, haha. The last guy who found me out keeps texting me, trying to get up to meet up and I keep dodging him cuz I don't really see anything between us on that level.

This particular dude is cool, though. I actually would not mind going out with him like that if he were to ask me. I ran into him at church a couple of wks ago and we made plans to hang out in a couple wks... we're supposed to check out a basketball game together. I don't really know what category to put him into in my head. He's kinda hard to read sometimes. Conversation flows really well between us... TBH I've always been a little bit drawn to him. He's really chill, but he's like... kind of alpha and has a sort of dominant aspect to his personality so he would be able to put me in check sometimes.

When I saw him at church that one time, we grabbed some coffee afterwards and had a really nice chat. He was sad when I had to leave and was trying to keep me around him cuz he said he really enjoyed my company which I thought was cute :drunk:. I would have stayed but I had to run and meet up with another friend though.

I dunno... this is funny. I'mma call his BFF (my play brother) and tell him tomorrow cuz he said some really funny stuff in his match question that I know my bro would be sooo tickled to hear :lol:
 
Just a quick vent.I'm a equal opportunity employer however I notice that when I message others non-black males they seem to be a bit too familiar way too fast.I mean maybe I'm being uppity or prudish however I don't like my words spun to sound sexual explicit.It makes me feel as though you see a black woman you think easy sex.It's a bit disheartening.I digress.
 
Haha I went out to dinner with the girls and we shared OKC horror stories. Cracked me up. It also made me kinda nervous about meeting the dude who's pictures I posted. :look:
 
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