***Online Dating Support Thread***

dollface0023 said:
Exactly. I really get the feeling that the majority of those guys are looking for a good time. I actually want to try out EHarmony since I am looking for something serious...But I dont know if it's worth $50 bucks.

Match is...pretty okay. I met 2 gorgeous guys on there but it didnt go anywhere. It's worth a shot though :yep:
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So far Match is decent. I get double the responses than the free sites. My first day signing up I got like 20 messages and 25 winks (which I never acknowledge..lol). I guess stakes are higher when you're paying. Those guys don't waste any time setting up dates either. Time will tell if I meet any quality men out of it.
 
I must say that there are some really good looking guys on match...but it does have that bar quality. I'm sure many use it as a hook up site. Last night I was a bit tipsy and sent a few messages out. I'll see what happens. There is this one FIONE man who has me on his favorites...but hasn't mailed me yet.
 
After reading all these threads on here, I decided to give POF a shot. Now, I have been busy for the past couple of years taking care of someone and she recently passed away and the last guy I was dating passed away unexpectedly, so I have really not had a chance to go out and meet people like I would under normal circumstances. I put a profile up on POF around December 27 or so. I kept it up for a week and two days. Within that week, I got about 20 "Want to Meet You" and about 15-20 direct emails from guys showing interest, as well as one woman.:perplexed Majority were Black guys, 1 Indian (a no go) and the rest were White. None of these men were my type. One guy I know most BW would have gone crazy over. He was 6'6, dark skinned, attractive and his pic showed him shirtless, which was a turn off. But he seemed like a nice guy nonetheless and he lives in Harlem. Another guy was married and looking for side pieces, another guy, White, had a leash around his neck and wanted women, particularly Black women to dominate him, :rolleyes:. Another guy, White, was so damn aggressive that I had to tell him not to contact me again. I messaged one guy to compliment him because he was pictured with his Golden Retriever. I almost never see a Black guy with a dog that is NOT a pit bull or rottweiler, so that stood out for me. He listed his profession as gas station manager, but he seemed like such a nice down to earth guy that I decided to stay in touch with him. I deleted my profile but forgot to tell the people I friended and give them my contact info, lol. This initial experience in online dating has been a bit overwhelming. I had just threw a profile together at the last minute. I will probably put another profile up in a month or so to give it another shot. Again, some of the guys seemed like good guys, but they were just not my type. I know that it takes more than a week, but right now I have a lot going on, but I should be straight in a month or so. I will keep ya'll updated on how it goes. :grin:
 
^^^ Sorry for your losses.

I have been very underwhelmed with the quality of guys on POF, I have to say. :nono:

So, I'm back on BlackPeopleMeet. I've had a number of profile views but only a handful of actual messages. I think that's because I requested that guys with more than 2 children, by more than one woman not contact me. :look: I did have a guy with 3 and another with 4 hit me up, I ignored them.

I've been back and forth with this one guy, he asked for my number so we can talk. I gave it to him, so we'll see how that goes. Another guy sent me a message a while ago, nice looking, interesting profile, no kids. I wrote him back, waiting for a response.
 
I created a POF profile the other day and I finally added my picture to it (In a city of 4 million people, you'd be surprised how often you run into people you know.) Wish me luck...
 
MzLady78 said:
^^^ Sorry for your losses.

I have been very underwhelmed with the quality of guys on POF, I have to say. :nono:

So, I'm back on BlackPeopleMeet. I've had a number of profile views but only a handful of actual messages. I think that's because I requested that guys with more than 2 children, by more than one woman not contact me. :look: I did have a guy with 3 and another with 4 hit me up, I ignored them.

I've been back and forth with this one guy, he asked for my number so we can talk. I gave it to him, so we'll see how that goes. Another guy sent me a message a while ago, nice looking, interesting profile, no kids. I wrote him back, waiting for a response.
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Thank you. Since it was my first time doing anything like that, I was reading some reviews for POF and realized that a lot of men were complaining about women only taking head shot pics and when they finally met, the women were fat/obese. At the time I did my profile, I did not have access to a full length mirror so I took headshots. Maybe some men thought I was fat? Looking back, I think it would have been more than 30 or so men contacting me had I dressed up in a nice conservative dress and heels and had a full body shot. I will do that the next go round.
 
Ladies, thank you all for contributing to this thread.

I will go through each page and see if I can set up a contents/reference page on the first page.

I wish you all a fabulous 2011!

ETA:
Update**
I was being pursued by a french man and he asked me for my number... he has only been in touch via text message. I don't have time for that :grin: so NEXT!
I have not logged into my lovestruck account for about two months now but I am being actively pursued by seemingly nice german man online via a website we are members of. He asked me out within 3 emails :blush: and when I couldn't make it he immediately replied asking for my number. I gave it to him then my phone broke down :lachen: I got my replacement today and saw that I had three missed calls from him. :spinning: and an email to say that he has tried to call me but can't get through. *sadface*
Oh! It does feel good to be pursued.
 
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Question for those who are actively dating online

Do you respond to winks? If so, what has been your success rate with the men who winked? Have the winks developed into messages and/or meeting offline?
 
sunhun said:
Question for those who are actively dating online

Do you respond to winks? If so, what has been your success rate with the men who winked? Have the winks developed into messages and/or meeting offline?
Click to expand...

I have specifically asked men not to send me winks/flirts but actual messages. I think they're stupid and I won't respond.
 
MzLady78 said:
I have specifically asked men not to send me winks/flirts but actual messages. I think they're stupid and I won't respond.
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I said the same thing. If a guy winks at you at the bookstore, are you going to go over and talk to him? Hell no. But if he makes the effort to come over and talk to you intelligently about the book you're looking at, then he might be worth talking to. I think the principle is the same online or in RL. An online wink or flirt is lazy. Write me a message or don't bother at all. :ohwell:
 
I decided to subscribe to Match. I've gotten a few messages and winks (not responding to winks)

I have a question for you ladies, I'm very hesitant about giving out my name when asked. I guess I could give out a nickname, what do you guys do?

I was "IMing" with this one guy who asked me for my e-mail address, I let him know I only feel comfortable e-mailing on match for now. Why did dude catch on attitude? Nixed!
 
LoveisYou said:
I decided to subscribe to Match. I've gotten a few messages and winks (not responding to winks)

I have a question for you ladies, I'm very hesitant about giving out my name when asked. I guess I could give out a nickname, what do you guys do?

I was "IMing" with this one guy who asked me for my e-mail address, I let him know I only feel comfortable e-mailing on match for now. Why did dude catch on attitude? Nixed!
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Give a nickname or middle name. Cousin's name, whatever. :look: :lol: I'm serious, a guy doesn't need to know my real name until I am comfortable giving it. Until you feel you are, no big deal. Come to think of it, not a single guy who I talked to online knows my real name except the ones I had real dates with.

I understand why he caught an attitude. He's immature for letting you see that though. Girl you need to set up some extra email addresses just for online dating. I have an account I use just for that. :yep: He wants to think that you like him enough to take it off match, and at the time you may have wanted to get to know him a little better, without giving any information away. He chose to let you know about him by acting out over not getting your email. :lol: By using a non personal email, you can continue to talk to him, and if it didn't work out, simply add his address to the spam filter (I use Yahoo) and on to the next. :yep:
 
I joined Match and eHarmony because I'm rarely home (travel for work). Right now I'm dating one guy from each site and it's going well. Only time will tell.

I accept winks and they usually turn into e-mails, then phone calls and dates anyway. Why put a limit on internet dating (refusing winks) when I'm paying? JMHO.
 
Daeuiel said:
Give a nickname or middle name. Cousin's name, whatever. :look: :lol: I'm serious, a guy doesn't need to know my real name until I am comfortable giving it. Until you feel you are, no big deal. Come to think of it, not a single guy who I talked to online knows my real name except the ones I had real dates with.

I understand why he caught an attitude. He's immature for letting you see that though. Girl you need to set up some extra email addresses just for online dating. I have an account I use just for that. :yep: He wants to think that you like him enough to take it off match, and at the time you may have wanted to get to know him a little better, without giving any information away. He chose to let you know about him by acting out over not getting your email. :lol: By using a non personal email, you can continue to talk to him, and if it didn't work out, simply add his address to the spam filter (I use Yahoo) and on to the next. :yep:
Click to expand...

Thanks so much for your response, I'm completely new to this and really appreciate it.

I'm sure I'll have more questions in the future.
 
Ms Red said:
I joined Match and eHarmony because I'm rarely home (travel for work). Right now I'm dating one guy from each site and it's going well. Only time will tell.

I accept winks and they usually turn into e-mails, then phone calls and dates anyway. Why put a limit on internet dating (refusing winks) when I'm paying? JMHO.
Click to expand...

I don't pay for online dating. So I can ignore winks or send them a message asking if there's something in their eye at my leisure. :giggle: But if you do then I agree with you, no reason not to use the site in whatever way you can, if you're paying. :yep:
 
another question:

When guys ask specific questions like: where do you go to school?; where do you live? etc - questions you are not comfortable answering up front, how do you not answer in a way that doesn't come off rude?
 
I am in the UK and just joined Lovestruck and Guardian Soulmates

Someone just 'winked' at me :rolleyes: It seems these sites have 95% WM and 5% BM but i don't mind as I tried a couple of other sites and the BM there were just... smh. I dated a WM (years ago) so I'd love to explore my options :yep: As long as we have a connection and a lot in common... I'm game :)

I'm going to try this out for a month.
 
LoveisYou said:
another question:

When guys ask specific questions like: where do you go to school?; where do you live? etc - questions you are not comfortable answering up front, how do you not answer in a way that doesn't come off rude?
Click to expand...

I've had a few ask personal questions like that. Usually I ignore the questions, say I'm not going to answer that or give a wide answer
for example if he asks (in one email): Where do you live? Where do you work?
Answer: I live and work in London.

If he follows up with what part... I will not reply. He can find out that stuff later if he is interested.

HTH
 
Well as of yesterday I pulled the plug on all my online dating profiles. It's a method I am crossing of my list for the remainder of the year. It was not getting me the results I have been desiring and god knows how long I have had my hand in trying.

Oddly enough the gentleman I met over xmas week asked me to meet him for dinner this evening. This was the second time we met. Our first date happened on New Years Day. It was a bit last minute as he was flying into my city from a funeral and was going to drive the two hours back to his home in S.C. I had nothing going on tonight so I figured why not? We ended up going to a sports bar to watch the basketball game(Bulls vs. Charlotte Bobcats) and had dinner and got a chance to learn a bit more about each other. The conversation continued to flow as he is really easy to talk too and no dull moments in the conversation. He gave me a hug when I got out of my car and remarked you smell really good and asked what kind of fragrance I was wearing. At the end of our meeting he hugged me again and gave me a kiss on my cheek and asked if I would like to go to a basketball game because he was purchasing tickets to attend one of the upcoming games.

Of course I said I would love to go. Time will tell where this goes if anywhere but I am continuing on with meeting other guys irl and outside of the online dating world. Funny now I swore off online dating I meet someone from online dating that may be worth my time.
 
Sooooo I am completely new to this online dating thing. I've had my profile on okcupid for a couple weeks now, though I have mostly been inactive. I have just now, as in today, exchanged phone numbers with someone (this is a big step for me!), and I am beyond nervous about this. I know, I know, I make no sense. But all I can think about is how awkward this all seems. I can't even imagine going on a real date (and of course some of these dudes are pushing for one). There are about 3 who I can see myself maybe considering taking the plunge and meeting (and the ones I'm awkwardly going to text, etc.), but I just don't know if I can get over all of this.

I'm usually really plain personality wise when first meeting someone, because I am unsure of what kind of a person they are, so I can't see any of these online dates working lol. Though I want something to!

Any advice? :blush:

LoveisYou said:
another question:

When guys ask specific questions like: where do you go to school?; where do you live? etc - questions you are not comfortable answering up front, how do you not answer in a way that doesn't come off rude?
Click to expand...

I was wondering this myself, currently getting asked a couple of personal questions that make me go.....:perplexed....answering to complete strangers. Glad I'm not the only one who finds it kind of odd so quickly, after like one or two messages.

edit: It seems like if you are vague or avoid a question right away there are insinuations you are "fake" or "playing". It's pretty stupid to ask super personal questions right off the bat and then get annoyed when someone is hesitant to reveal details to a complete stranger. Definitely irking me thus far about this whole online dating thing.
 
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I go back and forth on POF but I deleted my account for good this time. The site has changed a lot and now you have to pay for a lot of features. I liked seeing if someone read my message.

But the main reason I deleted my account this time is because when you block someone they can try to message you and POF will tell them that you blocked them. OH NO!! I can't have people knowing I blocked them, this area is too small for that. I block more people than I actually respond to so I said what's the point and threw in the towel.

The last guy I was serious with, I met off of POF but I realize now his profile was a representative of himself, not really who he was. I grew to like him as he was but when I look at his profile now I really feel for the females talking to him.

If I ever do online dating again (which I hope not bc I hope this guy I'm talking to now is gonna be promising//found him on CL) I will have the same set of rules and the biggest one being: don't talk to a guy with pics of his kids on his profile. I just don't understand that. No reason to show and prove you have a child and that you are a father. That's your duty. If it says you have kids, I will trust you are doing your part. And most of the ones who have pics of their kids are get empathy from females and touch our sensitive side. Not me buddy!!!
 
I've been on-line dating now for 3 weeks and i have hidden my profile with a view to cancelling altogether.

I've met 4 guys....
1. When i met up with him he was much older looking than his picture and he dressed like he was in his house clothes. During conversation he told me that his children's mother regularly stays at his house overnight to avoid travelling when she drops their son back home. NO THANKS.

2. Good looking, good job, nice car, chemistry.....he proceeded to tell me he was still married and gave me a cock and bull story about he couldn't get a divorce anytime soon. his profile said he was single.

3. Actually had 4 dates with this guy. He was Mr Nice...however he didn't make a move to pay fully for anything, i always had to pay half. I kissed him on the 3rd date and - yuk - thats all i'll say. No chemistry - friend material.

4. Everything clicked, after the 2nd date he told me that he was going to delete his profile, that he wanted to concentrate on 'us'. I told him that i was flattered but it was a bit early to do that. He insisted that he would and that online dating was not his thing. i was the first woman that he had met and the other ladies on the site were not his cuppa tea. Anyhow, a friend at work is on the same site as me and she has a fake profile :) and a real one. She uses the fake one to catch out guys she suspects are misbehaving! She messaged him and he replied back to her very eager indeed - with his phone number. Why the hell did he have to lie? makes no sense. i really like him but the trust is gone at such an early stage. I'm still in communication with him but not feeling it like i was.
 
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