Kalani
Well-Known Member
There is a lot of that going on with these online guys. That was pretty much my whole experience on POF and OKCupid. Those dudes weren't half as together and well balanced as they made themself out to be.
***Online Dating Support Thread***
- Thread starter JollyGal
- Start date
There is a lot of that going on with these online guys. That was pretty much my whole experience on POF and OKCupid. Those dudes weren't half as together and well balanced as they made themself out to be.
CurliDiva
Well-Known Member
Ok ladies, I took the plunge this weekend and made a profile on a sie....although I haven't paid yet. I opened a "new" email address and was thinking about getting a "disposable" cell for the "getting-to-know-you" calls.
So far, I've gotten lots of winks, but the emails I've gotten have been the lame "how you doin" type.
Also, I've noticed that some of the guys look way OLDER than listed....
So far, I've gotten lots of winks, but the emails I've gotten have been the lame "how you doin" type.
Also, I've noticed that some of the guys look way OLDER than listed....
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blue_flower
Well-Known Member
Im done with online dating. My membership at match ended on Dec. 25, but I removed my profile and cancelled my membership way before that. I met that one guy and that was it. Some other guy sent me an email telling me that he wasn't going to renew his membership and gave me his email/phone number. Well I sent him an email and never heard back from him. But when I went on match again, his profile was still up and said he was online right now. I didn't pay $35 just to be pen pals with somebody. These guys just want to text and talk forever and that's not what I signed up for. I"m just better off trying to meet people in real life instead of through the internet. And I found it interesting that as it got closer to my membership ending, all of sudden guys want to send me emails, esp. the ones who've viewed my profile way before that. But I do remember reading somewhere that match hires people to put up fake profiles and send messages to people to entice them to renew memberships.
RossBoss
Well-Known Member
I noticed that too on POF. My profile was just up for a little over a week and I did a search of men my age just to see what my age looks like in men today and I was shocked at how old the guys looked.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
I feel like I need to share I emailed this guy about 2 weeks ago on POF.He emailed me his number but I was afraid to call.I at least want to have a few messages with a dude before calling.Well he IM me on the and asked me to call.Well we chatted akwardly for about 10 min then he gave this lame oh I will call you back in 10 min.He never called back.He appeared to be on point but I guess me being me was over or under whelming.I just want to make some nice male friends maybe I should stop thinking about being found or being seen as a viable lady til Im the male visual ideal..Im staying up beat but I dont want to lower my standards for some thug or hood dude.
Daeuiel
Cosplay Champ
I think the only mistake you made is leaving your comfort zone for some dude you don't know and will never see.
Don't call a guy if you don't feel comfortable doing so. If he asks you to call, say you'd like to have a few more messages before you call. That's not a big deal, what is online dating for?? If that annoys him guess what. He is not the one for you. A normal guy is more patient. I don't know what this fool's deal was but guess what? It's not your problem. 
Let him figure it out while you find someone better.I don't think it was you at all. That guy was weird. Who is so gung ho to call someone before you even see if you have a thing in common or any kind of connection?? Someone who doesn't care about who they are talking to, that's who. I don't know what you mean by the bolded. What the heck. Male visual ideal?? I believe we should strive to be our own ideal version of ourselves. Trying to be what you think any man wants you to be is only going to drive you insane and doesn't sound healthy to me, but I think the last part of that paragraph is absolutely essential to all of us. Never lower your standards. You absolutely deserve a man who is your equal and nothing less.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
I think the only mistake you made is leaving your comfort zone for some dude you don't know and will never see.
I don't think it was you at all. That guy was weird. Who is so gung ho to call someone before you even see if you have a thing in common or any kind of connection?? Someone who doesn't care about who they are talking to, that's who. I don't know what you mean by the bolded. What the heck. Male visual ideal?? I believe we should strive to be our own ideal version of ourselves. Trying to be what you think any man wants you to be is only going to drive you insane and doesn't sound healthy to me, but I think the last part of that paragraph is absolutely essential to all of us. Never lower your standards. You absolutely deserve a man who is your equal and nothing less.
The visual ideal I know its not a good thought but I notice the ladies with decent men seem to be more pleasing to the male's sight.I know there are some men who do like women of any size..but Im not going to be one who changes their whole image just to get a dude but I will work to be a better catch.
Zeal
Well-Known Member
I have chatted with a guy on POF for a few weeks. His general signature is hugs and kisses.
I asked him isn't kind of soon to sign hugs and kisses. He asked me a few questions and said that I was "interesting". He gave me his number. last night was my first time speaking with him. When I spoke with him his voice totally irritated me. Then he acted like an old man he kept saying dear after every sentence. SMH.
I kind of regret even callng him . Maybe it's nerves and his nerdy voice.
Then he sends me a text message, "You have a sexy voice. Thank you for reaching out to me and i look forward to talking to you soon. Sleep well sweetheart."
I asked him isn't kind of soon to sign hugs and kisses. He asked me a few questions and said that I was "interesting". He gave me his number. last night was my first time speaking with him. When I spoke with him his voice totally irritated me. Then he acted like an old man he kept saying dear after every sentence. SMH.
I kind of regret even callng him . Maybe it's nerves and his nerdy voice.
Then he sends me a text message, "You have a sexy voice. Thank you for reaching out to me and i look forward to talking to you soon. Sleep well sweetheart."
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RossBoss
Well-Known Member
Zeal
Well-Known Member
How old is this guy?
He is 38 and his voice sounds very similar to a nerd I tried to give a chance a few years ago. What do you think? Should I call him again? LOL!
His voice isn't sexy at all.
Bun Mistress
Well-Known Member
most winks were from guys that were well, undesirable to say the least, but the guy I am talking to now originally winked at me and never showed up as one of my matches. So It could work.
MummysGirl
New Member
You're right it's a bit early for all that
at 'Sleep well Sweetheart', he doesn't even know you!
MummysGirl
New Member
.............
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CoCoRica
New Member
Hi everyone. I wanted to know if you all think this is strange/alarming behavior.
Met a guy online. We vibed via email, so we exchanged #'s.
1. He said was 30 he is 36...why lie?
2. He completely and totally dominated the conversation. I'd like to think I am good listener, but I also thought a conversation went both ways, in which the person you are speaking with could comment, ask questions for further detail etc...
Going on and on and on, about how he's a good man, selfless, nothing but love to give. How he loves black women. The more I listened I felt like he was iso of a bw as meal ticket, being that as he talked I learned that he is unemployed, about to be 37 if not already, no education (aside from a cooking certification), no vehicle (understood being a Native NYer)
I felt he has a good heart and good intentions, but....
3. Then he begins texting and calling me obnoxiously, calling me baby, saying he could relocate. Umm we need to get to know each other first. Already discussing traveling to meet in person.
I also think he was under the impression upon responding to his ad, that I was the one and that I needed to look no further....
THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME
4.Then one of our calls he is going on about how he can cook and give massages. Im not looking for no Bobby Homemaker. I also told him I not interested in anyone so enthusasitic about putting his hands on me. Men, money, and massages dont belong in the same sentence to me. He then tried to tap dance his way out of the massage fiasco. He said he couldnt help that he was very affectionate and wanted to hold me and that when he comes to visit that it couldnt be like that.
So I made it clear to him that, if in fact that became a reality for him, he'd be staying at a hotel. It was like he was shocked beyond belief. Then he asked why would I leave him all alone. I said we would spend time going out and getting to know each other but in no way wld I be "sleeping over" with him at a hotel.
I just felt like he was doing to much and bringing to little to the table. Needless to say during the phone call he pretty much hung up on me and hasnt called back since. Which is fine by me. I dont have to deal with awkardness of telling him, sorry not interested.
So was I being to paranoid?
When dealing with long distance and online. Are there a different set of rules?
I really felt they guy was overly excited and way too thirsty = scary as hell to me
Met a guy online. We vibed via email, so we exchanged #'s.
1. He said was 30 he is 36...why lie?
2. He completely and totally dominated the conversation. I'd like to think I am good listener, but I also thought a conversation went both ways, in which the person you are speaking with could comment, ask questions for further detail etc...
Going on and on and on, about how he's a good man, selfless, nothing but love to give. How he loves black women. The more I listened I felt like he was iso of a bw as meal ticket, being that as he talked I learned that he is unemployed, about to be 37 if not already, no education (aside from a cooking certification), no vehicle (understood being a Native NYer)
I felt he has a good heart and good intentions, but....
3. Then he begins texting and calling me obnoxiously, calling me baby, saying he could relocate. Umm we need to get to know each other first. Already discussing traveling to meet in person.
I also think he was under the impression upon responding to his ad, that I was the one and that I needed to look no further....
THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME
4.Then one of our calls he is going on about how he can cook and give massages. Im not looking for no Bobby Homemaker. I also told him I not interested in anyone so enthusasitic about putting his hands on me. Men, money, and massages dont belong in the same sentence to me. He then tried to tap dance his way out of the massage fiasco. He said he couldnt help that he was very affectionate and wanted to hold me and that when he comes to visit that it couldnt be like that.
So I made it clear to him that, if in fact that became a reality for him, he'd be staying at a hotel. It was like he was shocked beyond belief. Then he asked why would I leave him all alone. I said we would spend time going out and getting to know each other but in no way wld I be "sleeping over" with him at a hotel.
I just felt like he was doing to much and bringing to little to the table. Needless to say during the phone call he pretty much hung up on me and hasnt called back since. Which is fine by me. I dont have to deal with awkardness of telling him, sorry not interested.
So was I being to paranoid?
When dealing with long distance and online. Are there a different set of rules?
I really felt they guy was overly excited and way too thirsty = scary as hell to me
HauteHippie
Well-Known Member
I think you did the right thing. You were upfront and straight forward. Plus, he sounds like a bit of dead weight. Maybe sweet, but potentially an anchor.
I am in the UK and just joined Lovestruck and Guardian Soulmates
Someone just 'winked' at meIt seems these sites have 95% WM and 5% BM but i don't mind as I tried a couple of other sites and the BM there were just... smh. I dated a WM (years ago) so I'd love to explore my options
I'm going to try this out for a month.
HI, I am in EU as well.
Do let me know how you find these sites. I have been thinking about online dating but get but off by thinking men on dating websites are not serious
I would run fast from this one. I didn't even really have to read past the lying about his age part.
CurliDiva
Well-Known Member
U 
then so you can't go back
Zeal
Well-Known Member
I talked to the guy again My gut told me not to call him but I did . Some of the conversation was fun. For the most part it wasn't. He is pushy, impatient, and condescending.
Talking to him made me hide my profile. There has got to be another way. The other guy I talked to in maybe Sept or Oct was cool but he was trying to get me to the crib after the first conversation. for breakfast.
Talking to him made me hide my profile. There has got to be another way. The other guy I talked to in maybe Sept or Oct was cool but he was trying to get me to the crib after the first conversation.
for breakfast.
MummysGirl
New Member
.............
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drappedup
New Member
I have read the last page and a half, and I have to say this is discouraging. I have moved onto texting now. Of all of the messages on okcupid there were 3 guys who stood out to be as possible candidates worth taking conversation to outside the website. Well, I've been texting all 3 the past couple of days, and IDK.....I just keep thinking about how deceitful this all may be. I have been pretty 100 about myself thus far, only changing the subject when certain questions get too personal (i.e., city you live and what not, etc.), but everything else I've said about myself has been true. So I just keep wondering, how do I know these guys are who they say they are? Maybe I'm too paranoid. The prospect of a coffee date is starting to pop up, and I'm not sure I even want to bother.....
This guy from Plenty of Fish got mad at me.
He's sent me the same canned message at least three times. I've never responded. This last time I politely told him that he's sent this message several times but unfortunately I'm not interested and I wish him the best.
He responds with, "You're not my type anyway. I like bigger women. I just wanted some conversation". Dude please...
This other guy I was interested in got the axe pretty quickly. He said he was divorced. I looked up his records and there's no record of a divorce for him. Also, he didn't know how to spell pretty. He spelled it preaty. The first time I thought it was an accident but after the 2nd time I pretty much gathered that he's a functioning illiterate.
And these are just the tip of the iceberg. I think I'm taking another break from online dating. I just cant.
He's sent me the same canned message at least three times. I've never responded. This last time I politely told him that he's sent this message several times but unfortunately I'm not interested and I wish him the best.
He responds with, "You're not my type anyway. I like bigger women. I just wanted some conversation". Dude please...
This other guy I was interested in got the axe pretty quickly. He said he was divorced. I looked up his records and there's no record of a divorce for him. Also, he didn't know how to spell pretty. He spelled it preaty. The first time I thought it was an accident but after the 2nd time I pretty much gathered that he's a functioning illiterate.
And these are just the tip of the iceberg. I think I'm taking another break from online dating. I just cant.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
^^^ That is so typical. Just like when you're walking down the street and a guy tries to talk to you but you don't pay him any mind and he goes "you ain't all that anyway!". Yeah ok, clearly I'm enough for you to be trying to holla though, moron.
Anyway, this dude sent me a message on BPM, the subject was "hi, baby".
Umm...*looks around*
Do I know you? Then why are you calling me "baby"? This is such a pet peeve of mine.
Anyway, this dude sent me a message on BPM, the subject was "hi, baby".
Umm...*looks around*
Do I know you? Then why are you calling me "baby"? This is such a pet peeve of mine.
