***Online Dating Support Thread***

kandake said:
This guy from Plenty of Fish got mad at me.

He's sent me the same canned message at least three times. I've never responded. This last time I politely told him that he's sent this message several times but unfortunately I'm not interested and I wish him the best.

He responds with, "You're not my type anyway. I like bigger women. I just wanted some conversation". Dude please...

:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

This other guy I was interested in got the axe pretty quickly. He said he was divorced. I looked up his records and there's no record of a divorce for him. Also, he didn't know how to spell pretty. He spelled it preaty. The first time I thought it was an accident but after the 2nd time I pretty much gathered that he's a functioning illiterate.

And these are just the tip of the iceberg. I think I'm taking another break from online dating. I just cant.
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They guy who was pushy that I spoke with was from POF also. My friend sid tht he may have trust issues. Well that's not my problem is it? And it is NOT going to be my problem.

He sent me a message after our conversation calling me "sweetheart" asking how my day was and I ignored it. So it sent me another message at 12:15 AM waking me up. " I see that you didn't take the time to text me back so i will take it that you were too busy. I hope to hear from you tomorrow. Goodnite.

No you are not going to hear from me, and I don't like the tone of your text.

Hmph.
 
Zeal said:
They guy who was pushy that I spoke with was from POF also. My friend sid tht he may have trust issues. Well that's not my problem is it? And it is NOT going to be my problem.

He sent me a message after our conversation calling me "sweetheart" asking how my day was and I ignored it. So it sent me another message at 12:15 AM waking me up. " I see that you didn't take the time to text me back so i will take it that you were too busy. I hope to hear from you tomorrow. Goodnite.

No you are not going to hear from me, and I don't like the tone of your text.

Hmph.
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Yep, this will get you the boot REAL quick. I don't get these guys and their sense of entitlement. Like dude, I don't owe you ish. AND you're texting me at 12:15 in morning? Oh hell naw. :nono:
 
The guy I have been seeing for the last few weeks wants to be exclusive now. We have been dating for the past 4 weeks, talking prior to that for 3 weeks. He is two years older than me, is looking to marry. Has not pressured me for sex, although he does like to cuddle. He is polite and has never allowed me to pay for anything (I did pay for popcorn at a movie once). ANd I let him stay over (for sleeping only) lasst week.

Part of me really likes him and antoher party thinks it make be too soon. What do you all think?
 
If you're ready to be exclusive.... go for it :yep:

Bun Mistress said:
The guy I have been seeing for the last few weeks wants to be exclusive now. We have been dating for the past 4 weeks, talking prior to that for 3 weeks. He is two years older than me, is looking to marry. Has not pressured me for sex, although he does like to cuddle. He is polite and has never allowed me to pay for anything (I did pay for popcorn at a movie once). ANd I let him stay over (for sleeping only) lasst week.

Part of me really likes him and antoher party thinks it make be too soon. What do you all think?
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Bun Mistress said:
The guy I have been seeing for the last few weeks wants to be exclusive now. We have been dating for the past 4 weeks, talking prior to that for 3 weeks. He is two years older than me, is looking to marry. Has not pressured me for sex, although he does like to cuddle. He is polite and has never allowed me to pay for anything (I did pay for popcorn at a movie once). ANd I let him stay over (for sleeping only) lasst week.

Part of me really likes him and antoher party thinks it make be too soon. What do you all think?
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IDK. It's kind of hard to know what's right for you based on a small paragraph. Do you have other prospects? Are you trying to hold out for something better? Do you want to get to know him a little better? Do you see yourself in a committed relationship with him. There's a reason why part of you thinks its too soon and you should explore that. You don't necessarily have to answer those questions on this board, but those are things you may want to ask yourself to help you make your decision.
 
I made a profile on POF a few weeks ago. I met one interesting person so far and we met up two weeks ago. We text eachother daily. We have talked on the phone for a few hours but I prefer texts. I am trying to be less shy. Anyway he drove from Indianapolis and hung out with me and my girlfriends. He is a sweetie. Really handsome, his profile said 6'2" but he may be 6 ft. That's cool with me, I'm only 5'3". He seems VERY interested, hence him coming back this weekend :)... I am STRUGGLING not to put all my eggs in one basket and truly be pursued by MANY suitors. But he is making it hard LOL... online dating is fun. I have about 30 messages in my inbox right now, I have gotten so bad that I am looking at people's pics and profile before opening the message. If I'm not feeling you I won't respond. Sorry... my rules this time ;) Good luck ladies!
 
I just got this, I'm like are you serious? After this month is up with match..I'm done with online. Maybe I'll meet my future man in Trader Joes or something..

ou are sweettttttttt

I AM A BUISNESSMAN FROM QUEENS ,FRANKLYSPEAKING I AM NOT LOKING FR SMETING SERIOUS FOR NOW..I AM SEPRATED NOT DIVORCED I JUST WANA GO BACK TO MY COLEDGE DAYS AND HAVE FUN--I AM BUSY ALL DAY LONG ---WANA GO FR A SECRET DATE AS WE USE TO DO IN COLEDGE LOL------- AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE PRAISE --I GOT GLUED TO YR PIC HEHAHEHA--- I AM BLUNT CANT KEEP IT INSIDE MY HEART SO DONT MIND----
HAVE A GOOD 1------------
 
Duchesse said:
I just got this, I'm like are you serious? After this month is up with match..I'm done with online. Maybe I'll meet my future man in Trader Joes or something..

ou are sweettttttttt

I AM A BUISNESSMAN FROM QUEENS ,FRANKLYSPEAKING I AM NOT LOKING FR SMETING SERIOUS FOR NOW..I AM SEPRATED NOT DIVORCED I JUST WANA GO BACK TO MY COLEDGE DAYS AND HAVE FUN--I AM BUSY ALL DAY LONG ---WANA GO FR A SECRET DATE AS WE USE TO DO IN COLEDGE LOL------- AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE PRAISE --I GOT GLUED TO YR PIC HEHAHEHA--- I AM BLUNT CANT KEEP IT INSIDE MY HEART SO DONT MIND----
HAVE A GOOD 1------------
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Nooooo way!!! Omygosh, there is just no way! :lol:
 
Is anyone willing to do profile reviews? Because this not getting messages thing doesn't make any sense. Or maybe it's a blessing in disguise from some of the things I've read in this thread. lol
 
OMG, first off if you went to college then I would expect that you know how to spell/gramar. :lachen: Secondly, I know in your profile you don't say that you are looking for a Mr. Right now and roll in the hay. (I don't know you but I only think the best of you). I think this is why I found match and online dating so frustrating. There were so many guys on there that were just there to play around. I was like why pay money to do hte same thing t hat you do in the club??!? I would say don't let him (and the others) get to you but I know that can be hard. That is the same reason why I gave it a rest.

Duchesse said:
I just got this, I'm like are you serious? After this month is up with match..I'm done with online. Maybe I'll meet my future man in Trader Joes or something..

ou are sweettttttttt

I AM A BUISNESSMAN FROM QUEENS ,FRANKLYSPEAKING I AM NOT LOKING FR SMETING SERIOUS FOR NOW..I AM SEPRATED NOT DIVORCED I JUST WANA GO BACK TO MY COLEDGE DAYS AND HAVE FUN--I AM BUSY ALL DAY LONG ---WANA GO FR A SECRET DATE AS WE USE TO DO IN COLEDGE LOL------- AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE PRAISE --I GOT GLUED TO YR PIC HEHAHEHA--- I AM BLUNT CANT KEEP IT INSIDE MY HEART SO DONT MIND----
HAVE A GOOD 1------------
Click to expand...
 
Ok, so I hung out with guy last night, (first day as a couple) and even though I had a crappy day and was thinking about not starting a relationship with him he got to my place and it was ick outside so we stayed in and just talked. It was a good night. It's been a long time since I dated and I think everything makes me more apprehensive.
As for now I'm happy with my decision, we have been dating for a month and I would feel even more apprehensive if we continued dating without being exclusive.
He seems happy with me as well.
 
lushcoils said:
Is anyone willing to do profile reviews? Because this not getting messages thing doesn't make any sense. Or maybe it's a blessing in disguise from some of the things I've read in this thread. lol
Click to expand...

I'm not sure if the profile really matters. IMO, the profile pictures are what gets their attention. What you actually write in your profile is an afterthought. You can say "boo" in your profile and still get messages if the picture is good.
 
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Duchesse said:
I just got this, I'm like are you serious? After this month is up with match..I'm done with online. Maybe I'll meet my future man in Trader Joes or something..

ou are sweettttttttt

I AM A BUISNESSMAN FROM QUEENS ,FRANKLYSPEAKING I AM NOT LOKING FR SMETING SERIOUS FOR NOW..I AM SEPRATED NOT DIVORCED I JUST WANA GO BACK TO MY COLEDGE DAYS AND HAVE FUN--I AM BUSY ALL DAY LONG ---WANA GO FR A SECRET DATE AS WE USE TO DO IN COLEDGE LOL------- AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE PRAISE --I GOT GLUED TO YR PIC HEHAHEHA--- I AM BLUNT CANT KEEP IT INSIDE MY HEART SO DONT MIND----
HAVE A GOOD 1------------
Click to expand...

:dead:

I think I lost a few brain cells reading that mess.
 
kandake said:
I'm not sure if the profile really matters. IMO, the profile pictures are what gets their attention. What you actually write in your profile is an afterthought. You can say "boo" in your profile and still get messages if the picture is good.
Click to expand...

What are some examples of some good pictures?

And when you say you can get messages from having one word in your profile and cute pictures, are you talking about messages from quality guys or the "hey u iz sexee shawty, can i GEt to no U" types?
 
lushcoils said:
What are some examples of some good pictures?

And when you say you can get messages from having one word in your profile and cute pictures, are you talking about messages from quality guys or the "hey u iz sexee shawty, can i GEt to no U" types?
Click to expand...

For me the best pictures are clear, closeup pictures where I can really see what he looks like. Also, pictures of him by himself. Not in a crowd of people where I don't know which person he is. I also like at least one full length shot so I can get an idea of what his body type is like. I also like to see a picture of him smiling.

Men for some reason, seem to like to put pictures of themselves doing lots of activities on dating sites. I don't want to see some far away picture of you white water rafting or riding your motorcycle as your only picture. What does your FACE look like, dude?:lachen:
 
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lushcoils said:
What are some examples of some good pictures?

And when you say you can get messages from having one word in your profile and cute pictures, are you talking about messages from quality guys or the "hey u iz sexee shawty, can i GEt to no U" types?
Click to expand...

I was on POF for just one measly week, but the men love full body pics of yourself. They want to make sure that you are not fat, if you read a lot of profiles, the men complain about women only taking head shots or exaggerating their weight by saying "a few extra pounds", but when meetup time comes, it's totally different. Nothing beats an in shape Black women that dressed well, and I think this is ONE of the keys to getting good replies. I had just thrown a profile together when I was out of town and didn't have access to a full length mirror but if I put another one up, I will have a full body pic.
 
Thanks! I have close up pictures of me smiling and a full body pic on my page. I have answered all the questions. Where are my messages? :lol:
 
RossBoss said:
I was on POF for just one measly week, but the men love full body pics of yourself. They want to make sure that you are not fat, if you read a lot of profiles, the men complain about women only taking head shots or exaggerating their weight by saying "a few extra pounds", but when meetup time comes, it's totally different. Nothing beats an in shape Black women that dressed well, and I think this is ONE of the keys to getting good replies. I had just thrown a profile together when I was out of town and didn't have access to a full length mirror but if I put another one up, I will have a full body pic.
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I have to agree with this wholeheartedly. For a long time, I only had face shots because I live alone and I was taking the pictures myself. A couple of months ago, I put up a couple of full length shots that someone else took of me when I was going out on the town, all dolled up and the response has been overwhelming. The quality AND quantity of men that contact me now has gone way up. I know it's because of those two pictures because the other ones are the same ones that I was using all along.
 
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lushcoils said:
Thanks! I have close up pictures of me smiling and a full body pic on my page. I have answered all the questions. Where are my messages? :lol:
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What site are you on? I got at least 3-5 messages a day, but the quality wasn't there with a lot of them. lol. Quality over quantity my friend.
 
lushcoils said:
What are some examples of some good pictures?

And when you say you can get messages from having one word in your profile and cute pictures, are you talking about messages from quality guys or the "hey u iz sexee shawty, can i GEt to no U" types?
Click to expand...


I was being silly with the "boo" comment. But I guess my point is that the physical aspect is what gets their attention.

I agree with the ladies about full length pics.

lushcoils said:
Thanks! I have close up pictures of me smiling and a full body pic on my page. I have answered all the questions. Where are my messages? :lol:
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Girl IDK what's going on. How long have you had your pics up. Perhaps you can change them. I noticed that new pictures seem to garner more messages. Also, try logging in everyday just for the heck of it so that your profile is toward the beginning of the search list.

Have you tried sending messages to guys. You don't have to do anything major. Just search through the profiles when you find someone you like, send a simple comment about something that stands out in their profile. I'm not the approaching type but I've sent guys messages saying "nice smile" or "I enjoyed reading your profile, you seem like a nice guy" and I've made a comment on someones catchy screen name. For instance this guys profile was "crownroyalonice" I asked if he was a fan of the song or the drink. (I'm sure he gets that a lot) I let them take the lead from there.
 
Yea, I've been on these sites for a couple of years now. I rotate my face, body, and activity pictures often and update my page every now and then to see if it makes a difference. Even made a new account to see if they were playing games because I'm an old member.
 
lushcoils said:
Yea, I've been on these sites for a couple of years now. I rotate my face, body, and activity pictures often and update my page every now and then to see if it makes a difference. Even made a new account to see if they were playing games because I'm an old member.
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What happens when you do it? Do you get a fresh batch of responses?
 
^^^
Usually a lot of views. Sometimes no or only a small amount of views. 1 or 2 messages at the most. Usually no message though from my updates.
 
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