UGH! look at this guy's match profile opening:
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So I guess I should be clear since I have met DUDS up to this point on Match.com.
In order to ride this ride, please note the following:
a) If you have a weave, dont apply. I like to stroke my womans hair without the thought that it might come out.
b) If you have stretch marks, Im not interested.
c) If you aren't reading one or more books that are not bafoonery, then Im not interested.
d) If you don't have a solid earning POTENTIAL, Im not interested.
e) If you arent open to going dutch on the first date, you sound like a terrible investment, so I am not interested. Im about a partnership, so If you are looking for a dinner, coffee, brunch, or Pedicure sponsor, I am not your man.
f) If you are financially responsible, brilliant, love God, believe in the impossible, articulate, smell good, then, you are exactly what I'm looking for.
g) If your hands or feet have ever been called ugly, or even questionable, I am not interested.
h) If you look like the cookie monster without make up, Im not interested. In fact, the less makeup, the better.
i) If you dont give back to your community, dont bother with me. Im about the empowerment of my people, and a woman that doesnt have that vision is a disappointment to me.
j) If you are not progressive in thinking, creative, or have some talent that makes this world a better place, you are probably not the one for me.
k) If you arent amazing....go away.
l) If you dont envision having multiple homes, you need not apply....your world is too small.
m) If you dont want children....not a chance.
n) If you believe in a sense of entitlement, then Im not interested.
o) If you dont love kids, I dont love you.
p) If you are not affectionate....I am not in the least bit interested in dating a robot.
q) If you dont have an extensive ability to use the english language properly....this is not gonna happen.
r) If you cant have a versatile conversation that reflects your brilliance, we are probably not a good fit.
s) If you dont want to live in Chicago, LA, or overseas at some point (or all three)...Im not interested.
t) If you arent interested in changing the world...you bore me.
u) If you go to sleep before 11pm, you need to start living life.
v) If you cant cook, that means you are incapable of feeding my future children...and that, my dear, is unacceptable.
w) If you arent passionate about Barack Obama, Im not passionate about you. I cant teach you everything maam.
x) If your breath stinks, go away.
y) If you still have blackberry, that means that you ignore innovation, even when its staring you right in the face. Simply speaking you are not a visionary, no thank you.
z) If you dont appreciate the simple things in life...its unacceptable.
Those are my ABC's to dating.
Im looking for amazing, and have yet to find it.
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. Sometimes it irks me to be in my inbox and see that list of all the guys online that I interacted with but communication fell off. Well
some of them I cut off but you know what I mean.
I mean no shame.
erplexed
