***Online Dating Support Thread***

HauteHippie said:
After. It's on his profile now, which I noticed b/c I looked at it again after he wrote me (he msgd b/c I don't call or text him back anymore). So, he's not attracted to Black women... yet, he is steady asking me to dinner and trying to get me to go to Costa Rica with him and I am unequivocally Black. He didn't stand much of a chance after meeting, now there's no way in hell I'd go out with him. What a freaking loser!

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After reading these threads, I'm convinced that the men putting this in their profiles aren't really getting hit up by a bunch a Black women to the point where they have to use this disclaimer, they are just doing that to take a dig at BW and make themselves feel more attractive than they really are. Let me guess, this guy is not that attractive and you just know that there is no way in hayle that he has tons of BW messaging him for dates, right?
 
RossBoss said:
After reading these threads, I'm convinced that the men putting this in their profiles aren't really getting hit up by a bunch a Black women to the point where they have to use this disclaimer, they are just doing that to take a dig at BW and make themselves feel more attractive than they really are. Let me guess, this guy is not that attractive and you just know that there is no way in hayle that he has tons of BW messaging him for dates, right?
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I don't think he's getting hit up a lot by anyone. He's aight, but the light does reflect red off of his hair. Rumor has it the dating world is unforgiving to red-haired men.

It seems like women are more likely to not contact someone first than to contact them first. I'm seeing someone more regularly now, but even if I weren't I'd still ignore him. And I'm not going to ask for an explanation b/c I'm not giving him the chance to explain himself away-- and we already know what's up.

There are plenty of other men in the world. He's just one guy.

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HauteHippie said:
After. It's on his profile now, which I noticed b/c I looked at it again after he wrote me (he msgd b/c I don't call or text him back anymore). So, he's not attracted to Black women... yet, he is steady asking me to dinner and trying to get me to go to Costa Rica with him and I am unequivocally Black. He didn't stand much of a chance after meeting, now there's no way in hell I'd go out with him. What a freaking loser!

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Oh I see. He's mad that ONE bw wasn't up to his "liking" and so he generalizes all. Yup, sounds about right :rolleyes:

crlsweetie912 said:
This fool really put a picture of his paystub on his profile......:lachen:..........

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ihowled :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
I finally deleted my POF account today. I had disabled/hid it before because I couldn't figure out how to delete it but the email with their 'matches for the day' came to my inbox and had a link to deleting accounts. I already deleted my OKC account last week or so.

Things are progressing very nicely with Mr. FB; next Sunday we're going to church together, and then I'm meeting his family for Sunday dinner (he had a long conversation with his mother about me and how I make him feel). If there is any one thing that I can attest to now, it's that when a man wants you, he WILL let it be known by any means necessary what his intentions are. You will never have to guess, wonder, or worry about him or what he could possibly be doing when you're not around. I've heard this notion so many times before, but never believed it until now.

I wake up daily to a good morning message from him, and it's the nicest feeling to finally experience being with someone who's goal is to put ME first. I've been in so many past relationships where my nuturing side has taken over and my comforting a man turns into me taking care of him. :nono:

Ladies, stay strong and positive. Good things are coming if you allow yourself the ability to be open minded and receive! I had absolutely NO plans or desires for a relationship; I joined online dating reluctantly because my co-workers were seeing the rapid progression of me making my job for the last three years my boyfriend. And while I didn't meet Mr. FB on Match, or POF, or OKC... I was already open to the possibilities of just meeting someone new, and in turn there he was.

I KNOW that you ladies will be successful. :yep:
 
well i have a date today, with that guy that i was saying i wasn't so sure about bc he's never been in a rlshp before. i'm not very excited about it though. i dont think he puts forth enough effort and we havent even really spoken much since deciding on the day of the date. i'm only going bc we just have SO much in common that i think i should at least see what he's about. i've realized i dont like guys who are so straight laced. what i need is a creative artist type with a good paying job. that would be ideal.
 
Once I figured out what POF was, I decided to join that too. Glad I did, that site has the most black men in my city that I've seen on any site previous to this (Match, E Harmony, etc). I already sent my first message to a guy. But that pop up chat thing is annoying...
 
LaidBak
You can change your settings but if you are like me you want to keep all the doors open. Like I said upthread I peek at their profile real quick and if I like it I talk. The noise annoys me and it keeps popping up until you do something about it :nono:. The scary ones are the ones that pop up and they have no shirt on in their profile pic. No thank you!
 
ok, im back from the date. i wont be seeing him again. i had a good time talking to him but wasnt extremely attracted to him. he seemed like a nice guy, he was tall. had fun talking to him but i didnt like his skin, i mean i know everyone has breakouts but it seemed like thats just how his skin was. i didnt feel much chemistry. i felt bad cause i could tell he liked me and wanted to continue talking but... i made an excuse after like 2 hrs and left.
 
ahh another bites the dust:) Im not find POF very helpful so I was wondering if I should try the one that you have to buy a membership??? Anyway tried MATCH or EHarmony? Alot of men on MN profiles like to date white women...they are known for turning their nose at black women. I am soo fed up with it and I think I am ready to try to date outside my race BUT white men do not look my way.....
 
I just deleted my pof account. I feel strangely free. Like I said in an earlier post the site did more harm than good for me. Good luck =]
 
*frustrated* I don't know what to do with this one guy I've never met but he keeps contacting me on POF. He's so cute but the boy is a dumb as a box of rocks and has no ambition, so I don't know if I ever want to meet him. Then Im notes from the "just anybodies", random WM who are usually unattracted, and I tried to be more open so I let ppl without pics send me notes and as soon as I ask them how they look the notes stop LOL. I wish things had have worked out with the one guy I actually did meet, but he seems to have fell off the face of the earth after we hang out two weekends in a row.
 
I love this thread yall. Anyways so i decided to get into this online dating thing also. I met this guy, and he is almost too good to be true. He owns his own everything, job no kids never married and pretty much told me he was tired of dating and ready for the real thing. We had our first date tonight and it was absolutely wonderful. He offered to cook dinner for me this weekend during the date and at the end of the date he told me that i didn't have to wait until this weekend and that i could come by tomorrow after work if i wanted to.
Is that too much yall for only one date? My sister said it made him sound creepy; but i am totally not getting that vibe from him....perhaps just confident in what he wants or am i being naive. thoughts?
 
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mallysmommy said:
I love this thread yall. Anyways so i decided to get into this online dating thing also. I met this guy, and he is almost too good to be true. He owns his own everything, job no kids never married and pretty much told me he was tired of dating and ready for the real thing. We had our first date tonight and it was absolutely wonderful. He offered to cook dinner for me this weekend during the date and at the end of the date he told me that i didn't have to wait until this weekend and that i could come by tomorrow after work if i wanted to.
Is that too much yall for only one date? My sister said it made him sound creepy; but i am totally not getting that vibe from him....perhaps just confident in what he wants or am i being naive. thoughts?
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not to be a debbie downer, but are you sure it's a good idea to be going over his place so early on? he may get the wrong idea about you...
 
mallysmommy said:
I love this thread yall. Anyways so i decided to get into this online dating thing also. I met this guy, and he is almost too good to be true. He owns his own everything, job no kids never married and pretty much told me he was tired of dating and ready for the real thing. We had our first date tonight and it was absolutely wonderful. He offered to cook dinner for me this weekend during the date and at the end of the date he told me that i didn't have to wait until this weekend and that i could come by tomorrow after work if i wanted to.
Is that too much yall for only one date? My sister said it made him sound creepy; but i am totally not getting that vibe from him....perhaps just confident in what he wants or am i being naive. thoughts?
Click to expand...

runwaydream said:
not to be a debbie downer, but are you sure it's a good idea to be going over his place so early on? he may get the wrong idea about you...
Click to expand...

I couldn't help but to think of the Tyler Perry movie as I was reading mallysmommy post. Can't remember the name but it's the one with Janet Jackson, not the why did I get married movie.
 
ooh girl i stopped watching tyler after madea went to summer camp or whatever? lol but i am curious as to what reminded you of it?
 
runwaydream said:
not to be a debbie downer, but are you sure it's a good idea to be going over his place so early on? he may get the wrong idea about you...
Click to expand...
true. i didn't think accepting his invite for dinner was bad but i do believe that visiting each others homes is moving too fast. i was planning on declining anyways but i'd asked the question, to question his motives and was wondering if his suggestion was "creepy" as my sister so eloquently put it.
 
mallysmommy From reading what you typed I didn't think it sounded creepy. I would go with whatever my gut was telling me. You can read a book about it, get advice from someone else about it, but you're in this situation, so do what YOU think is right, and what your feeling. It sounds like you had an awesome time (which comes far, few, and in between in this dating world). Go at your own pace and see what happens! :grin: Hopefully things work out in your favor. BTW what part of a wonderful time and a dinner date sounded creepy to your sister?
 
mallysmommy said:
true. i didn't think accepting his invite for dinner was bad but i do believe that visiting each others homes is moving too fast. i was planning on declining anyways but i'd asked the question, to question his motives and was wondering if his suggestion was "creepy" as my sister so eloquently put it.
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well im not sure if i would call it "creepy" per se. but i can see where she might think that. you meet a guy you barely know online and after one meeting he wants you to come to his place the very next day so he can cook you dinner? idk. i think you should be a bit cautious, seeing how one date isn't enough time to get to know someone. i believe to assess their character you need to give them more time to show their true colors. everyone is one their best behavior in the beginning. but i guess you could also look at it as, you can be dating someone for mths and still not know who they really are. idk, i wouldn't meet up w. him but if you do i wish you the best.
 
well, i tried this on saturday. i was stood up. only to have the guy call twice at 2am, and then txt that it was my fault that I didnt answer the phone at 2am to go out. huh? I responded the next day and he told me i was being manipulative. i dont know where the bait and switch came in b.c before that he was nice and sweet and communicative and I was looking forward to our date!
 
Wow! So sorry that happened to you. I've come across one or two weirdos online myself. Just take it in stride, and on to the next.
 
POF is a mess. I had been thinking of updating my profile anyways but I had to include "If you're about foolishness, I ain't the one " :nono:. Not like that will make a difference. But they on there playing. I need some alpha males.Many of them are on straight BS.
 
LaidBak said:
Saw a cute guy on POF, had a brief convo with him. Haven't heard back in two days. *bummed*
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Happens all of the time :yep:. Sometimes it irks me to be in my inbox and see that list of all the guys online that I interacted with but communication fell off. Well :look: some of them I cut off but you know what I mean.
 
mallysmommy said:
ooh girl i stopped watching tyler after madea went to summer camp or whatever? lol but i am curious as to what reminded you of it?
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mallysmommy

I think she's talking about For Colored Girls. There's an attractive, charming guy who asks a woman he meets out on a date. She cooks for him at her apartment and before she knows it he assaults her. :sad:
 
LovelyNaps26 said:
@mallysmommy

I think she's talking about For Colored Girls. There's an attractive, charming guy who asks a woman he meets out on a date. She cooks for him at her apartment and before she knows it he assaults her. :sad:
Click to expand...
Omg thats horrible im not sure what to say to that....i honestly didnt get that vibe from him. but needless to say i didn't go. i suggested we go bowling on saturday instead and he happily accepted.
 
sky_blu said:
@mallysmommy From reading what you typed I didn't think it sounded creepy. I would go with whatever my gut was telling me. You can read a book about it, get advice from someone else about it, but you're in this situation, so do what YOU think is right, and what your feeling. It sounds like you had an awesome time (which comes far, few, and in between in this dating world). Go at your own pace and see what happens! :grin: Hopefully things work out in your favor. BTW what part of a wonderful time and a dinner date sounded creepy to your sister?
Click to expand...

the part when he asked to see me the next day. :ohwell:
 
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