***Online Dating Support Thread***

vivEz daNs lamouR said:
Mr. FaceBook and I have been talking every night since the first night we exchanged numbers. :)

Last night we spoke on the phone for 2.5 hours and this was AFTER texting the majority of the day while we were at work. It's really refreshing to meet someone who has goals and ambitions and is just an all around really good guy. I would've never thought to consider dating younger than me, but maybe this is the start of something good. :)

Sunday we're having barbecue and watching movies! We already know we have a date to watch The Lakehouse, another date for him to cook for me, and one where we do dim sum.

I'm giddy like a school girl.. really hope this works out!!
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isn't this that just so exciting?! i love the beginning, where you get butterflies just thinking of them and you guys can't get enough of each other. and you have no idea where it's going to lead. enjoy every moment of it :love2:
 
He's really cool. I liked that he said "I understand as a mom you would want to a have an evening to yourself." "But call me if you want to go out tommrrow." :lachen:
So far one of the best dater's I've had in a LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG time.
 
runwaydream said:
isn't this that just so exciting?! i love the beginning, where you get butterflies just thinking of them and you guys can't get enough of each other. and you have no idea where it's going to lead. enjoy every moment of it :love2:
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It really is. :yep:

Whenever he texts or calls me I start to giggle like a little kid. :giggle:
 
ok, so i had re-opened my okcupid acct since you guys kept mentioning it. i put up new pics i had taken while on vacation and cut out a lot from my old profile. i also kept changing it up until the ppl who were viewing it began writing me msgs. tho i still get a ton more views than i do msgs, i get more this time than i was getting before. plus i think since i wrote under the "only msgs me in" section: only msg me if you think we have a lot in common and you're looking for a potentially srs ltr is scaring a lot of guys off. but w.e. i'm not looking for a fling.


anyway the other day i was browsing profiles and i saw this one guy tho i think i started talking to once and we lost touch, i cant really tell tho bc the profile pic is different. his profile is more filed out now than it was before and we're like a 94% match. we seemed to have exactly the same ideals, it also doesn't hurt that he's 6'3 and an engineer :lick: and i really liked that he spoke about his parents and how much they inspired him in his profile.

anyway i msg'd him and he msg'd me back. we've been talking since. sending several msgs back and forth a day. lengthy ones too. not just a few sentences, more like a few paragraphs. anyhow the more we speak the more i like him. the thing is i dont like to build ppl up too much, so i want to set up a date to meet up, or at least exchange numbers or something. however, it's only been a few days and idt he's the type to want to meet up so quickly. he even stated in one of the questions that he likes to email for awhile before meeting. my question is, how do i get him to ask to meet up or how do i bring it up w.o seeming like i'm too forward or rushing things?
 
I am doing terrible at this don't put all your eggs in a basket thing. It is hard for me to act like I am into a guy but really this other guy has my attention. I suppose the good thing is that it seems like I got his attention as well.
 
Had PAINFUL date on Wednesday with a guy I met in POF. There were so many awkward, pregnant pauses....I just wanted to go home...=(

Do you guys think it's okay to just end a date when there is no chemistry? Like just get up and say this is not working, good luck on your search. Is that rude?
 
I was going through my emails and saw an e-mail from a guy that wrote me about a month ago. I remember his email specifically b/c I'd gotten another similar weird email that week. Something about he has a thing for slender fingers and thin wrist. He likes my freaking face, thinks I have an interesting nose. And then he asked for a genetic breakdown b/c he said I looked... exotic. Grrrr... It grates me. Growing up a bunch of White people, I HATE whenever someone says that. It happens rarely and only when someone assumes my family is not from America. And considering that my family is Gullah-Geechie from what was the Jim Crow south, we have stories. I'm an individual, but I LOATHE separation in the Black/Afro community.

Anyway, guess who has a picture up as a White male today? Mr. Thin Wrist. Complex much?

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
dm81 said:
Had PAINFUL date on Wednesday with a guy I met in POF. There were so many awkward, pregnant pauses....I just wanted to go home...=(

Do you guys think it's okay to just end a date when there is no chemistry? Like just get up and say this is not working, good luck on your search. Is that rude?
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I don't think its rude. That's why I always advocate driving your own car for the first couple of dates/outings so that you are never "stuck" with someone because he was your ride.

And always make the first date light. You dont need dinner AND a movie AND..... Meet at Starbucks or a bar at the restaurant or a park so you don't feel stuck. Shouldnt be having real dates. It should be meetups first.

You assume yall will have great chemistry as you did on the phone/computer and then get disappointed when you are stuck on a date. I have no problem packing up my appetizer and fleeing to my getaway car.
 
Um so this guy I though was interested may not be. He has told me he never went out with a black girl before. I don't want to get deep and he knowing that he would never settle with a black girl.

Not that I really have to worry about this because my women's intuition is telling me he has lost interest in 12 hours. lol.

I hate dating.
 
MizzBrown said:
I don't think its rude. That's why I always advocate driving your own car for the first couple of dates/outings so that you are never "stuck" with someone because he was your ride.

And always make the first date light. You dont need dinner AND a movie AND..... Meet at Starbucks or a bar at the restaurant or a park so you don't feel stuck. Shouldnt be having real dates. It should be meetups first.

You assume yall will have great chemistry as you did on the phone/computer and then get disappointed when you are stuck on a date. I have no problem packing up my appetizer and fleeing to my getaway car.
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:lachen::lachen:

Well we did meet at a bar, but I still felt stuck because I didn't want to be rude...but I mean there was just NOTHING to say! :perplexed Hopefully I'll never have to experience that again.
 
Had a great date with the POF guy that I've been talking to. He's the first guy that I've actually met up with (actually the only one that I've given the time of day....:-/) We had lots of fun & we have a lot in common. An added bonus is that he looks just as attractive in person. I don't know where this will go but I can see him being someone that I'd at least be friends with. He's already planning future dates:-)
 
runwaydream said:
Ummm...is someone gonna answer my question? :look:
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runwaydream,

Honestly, if I think he was interested in meeting you IRL, he would bring it up first, especially since you guys are writing lenghty messages. He's learning a lot about you. I would give him another week to ask you out. If he's still dodging the issue, I would give him a hint like, "well, we've been messaging for a long time now. I wonder what our chemistry would be like in person" and let him take it from there. If he doesn't get it by then, I would give him the deuces personally.
 
lushcoils said:
@runwaydream,

Honestly, if I think he was interested in meeting you IRL, he would bring it up first, especially since you guys are writing lenghty messages. He's learning a lot about you. I would give him another week to ask you out. If he's still dodging the issue, I would give him a hint like, "well, we've been messaging for a long time now. I wonder what our chemistry would be like in person" and let him take it from there. If he doesn't get it by then, I would give him the deuces personally.
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thanks for answering. that is my mentality too, that if a guy wants to ask you out he will. however, looking up more traits of libras and reading his response of him wanting to talk for awhile first online before asking someone out kind of got me thinking.. everyone's personalities are different and he seems like he may want to establish a rlshp first thru msg'ing before meeting. i'm the opposite. i'm sure he has no idea that i'm like this, so i'm thinking that i should, not ask him out, but maybe hint at it in some way. but i'm not sure what i should say and how i should say it w.o making it look like i'm asking him out or making him feel uncomfortable. i'm just liking him too much to want to wait another week, end up liking him even more, only to possibly be let down big time when we finally meet.
 
runwaydream said:
thanks for answering. that is my mentality too, that if a guy wants to ask you out he will. however, looking up more traits of libras and reading his response of him wanting to talk for awhile first online before asking someone out kind of got me thinking.. everyone's personalities are different and he seems like he may want to establish a rlshp first thru msg'ing before meeting. i'm the opposite. i'm sure he has no idea that i'm like this, so i'm thinking that i should, not ask him out, but maybe hint at it in some way. but i'm not sure what i should say and how i should say it w.o making it look like i'm asking him out or making him feel uncomfortable. i'm just liking him too much to want to wait another week, end up liking him even more, only to possibly be let down big time when we finally meet.
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Is there an event coming up soon that you both would be interested in? You could be like, " .... is coming up next week. I wish I had someone interested in ---- to go with." and make a smiley face or maybe just flat out ask, do you want to check it out?
 
Had a nice date with a guy I met on OK Cupid. We went to the museum of natural history and then to dinner. There wasn't a romantic connection, but I think he'd be a really great friend. Wonder how you broach that subject....hmmm...
 
Oh great. Idk about this guy. So we're talking on fb chat and he tells me he's never been in a rlshp. He's 25 y.o. I dont have time for that sh!t. Its like it can go either way. It's either he wont be jaded or tainted by past rlshps so it would be great. OOORRR he'll realize he's not ready to settle down bc he's never had a chance to sow his wild oats and feel like he's missing out and he can end up being more trouble than he's worth. Idk...
 
Why send me a nasty message asking why I refused your chat request? Um yeah I didn't want to talk to you. Last week was interesting for me in the world of online dating. Here's to a new week :giggle:
 
runwaydream said:
Oh great. Idk about this guy. So we're talking on fb chat and he tells me he's never been in a rlshp. He's 25 y.o. I dont have time for that sh!t. Its like it can go either way. It's either he wont be jaded or tainted by past rlshps so it would be great. OOORRR he'll realize he's not ready to settle down bc he's never had a chance to sow his wild oats and feel like he's missing out and he can end up being more trouble than he's worth. Idk...
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...or he has already sowed his oats and wants something real. I am always touchy on the no relationship issue, because that person is me.
 
This fool sent me the same message twice...


Hello beautiful Can i spoil u massage your feet from along day at work. Run your bath water , cook u dinner and send u roses to your job
 
Keshieshimmer said:
...or he has already sowed his oats and wants something real. I am always touchy on the no relationship issue, because that person is me.
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no, he hasn't, he wasn't really confident enough in himself to do so. and when i mentioned the wild oats thing, he said not everyone has wild oats they need to sow. i'm not really buying that. and i wasn't in a rlshp until i was like 21 so i get that. but its different for boys than it is for girls i think. i think men feel the need to try different ppl and explore their options more than a woman does.
 
runwaydream said:
no, he hasn't, he wasn't really confident enough in himself to do so. and when i mentioned the wild oats thing, he said not everyone has wild oats they need to sow. i'm not really buying that. and i wasn't in a rlshp until i was like 21 so i get that. but its different for boys than it is for girls i think. i think men feel the need to try different ppl and explore their options more than a woman does.
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Men and women aren't that different; he's true, not everyone has wild oats they need to sow or not everyone want to do that.

Just like there are women that believe in sowing wild oats too.

I think your way of thinking may hinder you from getting with a decent man.
 
Windsy said:
Men and women aren't that different; he's true, not everyone has wild oats they need to sow or not everyone want to do that.

Just like there are women that believe in sowing wild oats too.

I think your way of thinking may hinder you from getting with a decent man.
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i appreciate your honesty and think you may be right. i'll mention meeting to him and let him decide as to whether or not he wants to continue on with this and meet face to face. or it he wants to just let it go.
 
I met up with a guy that I met on OkCupid yesterday afternoon. We got some coffee while we chatted and got to know one another and then moved on to this thrift bookstore next door.

While drinking coffee he mentioned a movie and dinner date that he went on the night before. What's so funny is that we were actually at the same place around the same time that night. He was so bold about admitting that he went on that date and that he will see her again that it kinda threw me off,lol. He also admitted that this was the first time he had ever met anyone online.

Well, when we moved on to the bookstore he got a little touchy feely...Nothing too perverted, He just found little ways to touch my hand or the small of my back every now and then. While we were perusing through some old Home Decorating books he took my face and just kissed me. Let me say that....I will from now on STOP GUYS FROM KISSING ME ON THE 1ST DATE!! Its not that I didnt enjoy the kiss, but how am I supposed to know if i'll ever see this guy again?? He brought up going to the movies someday...but number 1, he didnt make definite plans with me...and number 2- he probably slobbed all over the random chick that he went out with the night before :barf: I need to find a smooth way to slip out of guys just randomly kissing me from now on.

Anyway, I had a pretty cool time. Will I see this guy again? I don't know....we'll see.
 
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