***Online Dating Support Thread***

From the same dude that sent me a NOVEL. And had the nerve to block me :lachen:

You will end up used and with a no good man. You dont take the time to respond back and you have not been taught how to pick a good man. You blew it here.
 
vivEz daNs lamouR said:
So, Merrill is a little clingy. :ohwell: That may work for some girls, but I'm really not the overly affectionate, emotional, say sweet stuff all the time kind of girl. I really hope Friday goes well, but what my best friend said to me this morning really hit home.. "You're looking at Friday as two friends hanging out, whereas he's looking at it as a romantic date." le sigh.

In other news, the guy I met from POF that was all super mysterious totally killed my buzz. Being 'mysterious' sparks interest for me, but if you're going to keep up the mysterious facade as a means of 'keeping me interested and looking for more', you WILL lose my interest. Guaranteed.

Hope everyone else's fishing is going well. :yep:
Click to expand...


yea, this is the issue with the guy i had posted about before. i decided to give up on him for this reason alone. he's too damn vague and mysterious about EVERYTHING. i dont like ppl like that. i asked him what he did this weekend and he was even vague about that. i dont have time for that sh!t. i probably should have just listened to my first instincts. i wonder if i should let him know or just ignore him from now on.
 
I've been "Dating" (if you can even call it that) this guy from POF for about 3 months. Thing is, a day after our 1st date he had to go away for work. We still kept in touch with each other by calling and texting of course, but he's been severly slacking in that dept for the past 2 weeks. Either he's lost interest or he met someone else.

I called and texted him a few days ago and haven't heard anything. At this point I probably wont go any further with him. He was supposed to come home at the end of the month and here it is, Oct 30 and now all of a sudden he's starting to act like a fool? I'm starting to think that he's not coming home at all.

I'm soooo glad I kept dating other men while he was away :look:
 
posted an ad on cL again and this is what i wrote

hi, i'm 24. i'm a conservative liberal. i have no kids, a dog, my own place, a job. i enjoy anime, asian dramas, old movies, metaphysics, garage sales, flea markets and just enjoying discovering new things around orlando.

i'm a little out of the ordinary and i'm looking for a tall, attractive gentleman who is very similar to what i listed. i can be pretty picky so pls don't be offended if i do not respond. but nothing ventured nothing gained right?

like i said, i like to try out new things so it's imperative that you would want to also. i'm also looking for a ltr which could eventually lead to marriage. if you are looking for what i'm looking for and you feel we have a lot in common pls wb w. a picture attached. i will not respond if there is no picture. i will send another one back.


i attached a pic of myself that was a bit obscured and got a lot of msgs already. theeeen i get THIS one which is titled "dear ms. bougie conservative liberal" why dont you just cut to the chase and ask for a cracker in the ad? seriously doubt youre going to find carlton banks on craigslist to go and be liberal with at the yard sales and flea markets! ***** PLEASE.......

i was all :blush: :swearing: :look: :lachen: :look: :swearing:

i was shocked at how angry he seemed. there's a TON of men asking for a specific race. i didnt even do that. i just listed characteristics. i feel attacked. i'm not sure if i should say something or just ignore it...

eta: the bleeped out part is N--GGA
 
Last edited:
runwaydream said:
posted an ad on cL again and this is what i wrote

hi, i'm 24. i'm a conservative liberal. i have no kids, a dog, my own place, a job. i enjoy anime, asian dramas, old movies, metaphysics, garage sales, flea markets and just enjoying discovering new things around orlando.

i'm a little out of the ordinary and i'm looking for a tall, attractive gentleman who is very similar to what i listed. i can be pretty picky so pls don't be offended if i do not respond. but nothing ventured nothing gained right?

like i said, i like to try out new things so it's imperative that you would want to also. i'm also looking for a ltr which could eventually lead to marriage. if you are looking for what i'm looking for and you feel we have a lot in common pls wb w. a picture attached. i will not respond if there is no picture. i will send another one back.


i attached a pic of myself that was a bit obscured and got a lot of msgs already. theeeen i get THIS one which is titled "dear ms. bougie conservative liberal" why dont you just cut to the chase and ask for a cracker in the ad? seriously doubt youre going to find carlton banks on craigslist to go and be liberal with at the yard sales and flea markets! ***** PLEASE.......

i was all :blush: :swearing: :look: :lachen: :look: :swearing:

i was shocked at how angry he seemed. there's a TON of men asking for a specific race. i didnt even do that. i just listed characteristics. i feel attacked. i'm not sure if i should say something or just ignore it...

eta: the bleeped out part is the N--GGA
Click to expand...

:lachen::lachen::lachen: hahahaha!! And oh my! I don't think I've ever called a nicca by a dude before. B****, maybe. But not- nicca :lol:
 
runwaydream said:
posted an ad on cL again and this is what i wrote

hi, i'm 24. i'm a conservative liberal. i have no kids, a dog, my own place, a job. i enjoy anime, asian dramas, old movies, metaphysics, garage sales, flea markets and just enjoying discovering new things around orlando.

i'm a little out of the ordinary and i'm looking for a tall, attractive gentleman who is very similar to what i listed. i can be pretty picky so pls don't be offended if i do not respond. but nothing ventured nothing gained right?

like i said, i like to try out new things so it's imperative that you would want to also. i'm also looking for a ltr which could eventually lead to marriage. if you are looking for what i'm looking for and you feel we have a lot in common pls wb w. a picture attached. i will not respond if there is no picture. i will send another one back.


i attached a pic of myself that was a bit obscured and got a lot of msgs already. theeeen i get THIS one which is titled "dear ms. bougie conservative liberal" why dont you just cut to the chase and ask for a cracker in the ad? seriously doubt youre going to find carlton banks on craigslist to go and be liberal with at the yard sales and flea markets! ***** PLEASE.......

i was all :blush: :swearing: :look: :lachen: :look: :swearing:

i was shocked at how angry he seemed. there's a TON of men asking for a specific race. i didnt even do that. i just listed characteristics. i feel attacked. i'm not sure if i should say something or just ignore it...

eta: the bleeped out part is the N--GGA
Click to expand...

:blush: <----@runwaydream, that's literally the expression I had on my face when I read that :lachen:. Someone is mighty upset he doesn't fit the bill.
 
runwaydream said:
posted an ad on cL again and this is what i wrote

hi, i'm 24. i'm a conservative liberal. i have no kids, a dog, my own place, a job. i enjoy anime, asian dramas, old movies, metaphysics, garage sales, flea markets and just enjoying discovering new things around orlando.

i'm a little out of the ordinary and i'm looking for a tall, attractive gentleman who is very similar to what i listed. i can be pretty picky so pls don't be offended if i do not respond. but nothing ventured nothing gained right?

like i said, i like to try out new things so it's imperative that you would want to also. i'm also looking for a ltr which could eventually lead to marriage. if you are looking for what i'm looking for and you feel we have a lot in common pls wb w. a picture attached. i will not respond if there is no picture. i will send another one back.


i attached a pic of myself that was a bit obscured and got a lot of msgs already. theeeen i get THIS one which is titled "dear ms. bougie conservative liberal" why dont you just cut to the chase and ask for a cracker in the ad? seriously doubt youre going to find carlton banks on craigslist to go and be liberal with at the yard sales and flea markets! ***** PLEASE.......

i was all :blush: :swearing: :look: :lachen: :look: :swearing:

i was shocked at how angry he seemed. there's a TON of men asking for a specific race. i didnt even do that. i just listed characteristics. i feel attacked. i'm not sure if i should say something or just ignore it...

eta: the bleeped out part is N--GGA
Click to expand...
I would just delete and block him. Don't stoop to his level...THE NERVE of some people..
 
This dude just sent me another message saying he was hoping that I would respond to his first message because we are both attractive people. LOL fail. Look I have had some messages ignored but I move on.
 
Merrill from POF sure is persistent... Over the weekend he texted me during the snowstorm to say that he doesn't have any electricity or heat. Then he goes,

"I need a cuddle buddy to stay warm...interested?"

I threw up in my mouth when I read that. :nono: I just didn't bother to respond. He and I will have the talk sometime this week.

Now, for the GOOD news.. I 'met' someone! Only, I don't know if it counts as online because we connected through FaceBook, and we kind of knew each other back in HS. (Eight years ago or so).

Back story... "J" and my best friend were good friends back in HS when my best friend and I dated (but I barely knew him because I really didn't care to know him, :lol:), but they lost a little bit of contact over the years (still friends, but both just very busy.) Anyway, my best friend and I have soo many pictures of us on FB that J saw and brought me up during convo, asking how I was doing. My b/f mentioned it to me, and when I saw his profile on FB I thought :yep::lick: and told him to tell J that I said hello and thought he was cute.

J asks my b/f if he'd have any issues with us talking because he knows that we dated back in HS, but my b/f doesn't care because a. it was so long ago and b. he's gay :lol: (we won't get into that now). anyway, I sent him a message on FB asking if he was free to hang with all of us, and he responds with his number and says to please shoot him a text sometime. :)

This was on the 24th, we've been talking consistently ever since then. Good Morning texts, phone calls/texts throughout the day, it's been really refreshing convo. He and I have a LOT in common (to the point where we almost feel like one person is copying the other), and we've made it clear that we're interested in each other. He's made his intentions clear, he's a relationship kind of guy and doesn't really want to date or be with someone just for the sake of saying he has someone, which is right up my alley... :yep: He's two years younger than me which would be my only slight drawback, but the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Anyway, we have a date this Sunday. :)

His stats... 23, no kids, single, BS degree in Culinary Arts Management, working towards a Masters, believes in God/goes to church (but not overly religious), reeeeeally smart and funny, and just so adorable. He makes me feel like a I'm in JHS again, crushin' big time! :lol:
 
This dating stuff definitely is interesting. Had one guy that we exchanged yahoo messenger id's with, (he wanted my phone number before he even asked me my name)
Pushing really hard to go out on a date when we haven't even talked yet.....
And every other sentence is...when are we going out, when are we going out!
That's turning me off...
Had one guy in his message calling me sweetie pie, uh NO...you don't know me like that...
One guy messaged me when I went to look at his profile he had like 3 long poems on his page...naw man, I don't wanna read all that..
Another guy makes a snide comment about me "not being available" cause I didn't respond to his message "fast"...what the frick. I don't even know you so I don't owe you JACK! Then he say's "I'm just trying to get my turn" what the hayle is that supposed to mean...DELETED! YOU DONE MESSED UP!
 
vivEz daNs lamouR said:
Merrill from POF sure is persistent... Over the weekend he texted me during the snowstorm to say that he doesn't have any electricity or heat. Then he goes,

"I need a cuddle buddy to stay warm...interested?"

I threw up in my mouth when I read that. :nono: I just didn't bother to respond. He and I will have the talk sometime this week.
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:.... :giggle:
 
And he [Merrill] is ON THE PROWL AGAIN!

Our text convo this morning:

Him: Hey you! How are you doing?
Me: Hey I'm good, how are you?
Him: You should see the people at my job lol in their costumes
Me: I can imagine, we're a parade here for the kids soon.
Him: Aww! I don't celebrate but it's cool.
Me: Yeah it's a big deal here.
Him: I didn't sleep well at all. I am tired. It was very cold last night. (This is what makes me KNOW that he isn't smooth at ALL.. There was no lapse in my responding.. He actually wrote this while I was writing about Halloween @ my job. I was like ninja, ain't nobody checkin' for how you slept :nono::nono:)
Me: :look::whyme:....*crickets*
Him: Next time I may ask that you cuddle with me.
Me: That sucks. Did you guys get power yet?
Him: This morning.

I stopped responding after that.
 
if that was me i'd just leave merril alone, i dont respond too well at men i barely know making comments about being intimate, especially if i'm not responsive.
 
runwaydream said:
if that was me i'd just leave merril alone, i dont respond too well at men i barely know making comments about being intimate, especially if i'm not responsive.
Click to expand...

yeah, me too. What's funny is that in person he had about as much conversation as a paperweight, so I don't know where this is coming from. He keeps messaging me and i thought by now he would've gotten the hint that I'm NOT interested, but I guess I'll have to spell it out.
 
Super fun date this weekend. And he looked exactly like his pictures..even better in person..:grin::lick:
The only thing that sucked was that he admitted he is currently dating someone else. :sad:
Any who... I'll do the same..:yep:
 
ok, so i had recently went on vaca and took a ton of cute pix of myself. i did this yesterday and already have like two pages full of views. HOWEVER, im still not seeing a change in msgs. im getting about the same that i got before. *sigh* idk anymore. i dont want to change my profile description bc it describes me perfectly and took me forever to write. *shrugs* idk anymore.
 
So there is a big POF event on Nov 18 in Annapolis, MD. Not sure why they picked Annapolis but gave me a chance to see some of the women (competition if I go or in general since I'm sure they are from the DMV) that would be attending...interesting.
 
so since changing my profile pix yesterday on pof i've gotten 3 new pages of views. but STILL hardly an increase in msgs. so me and my friend decided to ask why i wasn't being written. what is lacking in my profile.

here's what i wrote:
Hi, sorry to bother you but I was hoping if you can help me with something. I get a lot of views and not nearly as much msgs. I noticed you viewed my profile without sending a msg. I was jw if you can tell me why, so I can figure out what is it about my profile that may be hindering me. I would really appreciate it if you can take the time to answer. And please don't sugarcoat. I would really like an honest answer. Thanks so much.


here are some of the responses:

haha, i checked your profile AFTER u checked mine i believeeee. i saw u looked at mine so i was pretty obligated to look at yours :P


and im just a shy guy. nothing against you or your profile. you are a very attractive person =)

and im in the same boat with views but no messages. the longer u have this thing the worse it gets.


just that i'm in melbourne. you seem pretty badass, so i dunno.


1. YOUR NOT BOTHERING ME LOL..2. HONESTLY ME I LIKE SPANISH GIRLS AND THE PIC YOU HAVE UP U LOOKED SPANISH..NOTHING IS WRONG WITH U OR UR PROFILE..AND I JUST LOOK ALOT I DONT MESSAGE ALOT OF THE GIRLS I VIEW..IVE NEVER HAD A BLACK GIRL NO OFFENSE SO IDK THATS BASICALLY MY REASON. BUT I DONT SPEAK FOR THE OTHER PEOPLE!


so this got me thinking... maybe the reason i'm getting so many views and not many msgs is bc i appear to be another race. and once they realize i'm blk they are no longer interested. i'm sure there are other reasons too, but i'm quite disappointed. i can change my pix so that they are more flattering, i can change up my profile, but i can't change the fact that i'm blk. oh well :sad:
 
runwaydream said:
so since changing my profile pix yesterday on pof i've gotten 3 new pages of views. but STILL hardly an increase in msgs. so me and my friend decided to ask why i wasn't being written. what is lacking in my profile.



so this got me thinking... maybe the reason i'm getting so many views and not many msgs is bc i appear to be another race. and once they realize i'm blk they are no longer interested. i'm sure there are other reasons too, but i'm quite disappointed. i can change my pix so that they are more flattering, i can change up my profile, but i can't change the fact that i'm blk. oh well :sad:
Click to expand...

At least you are brave enough to ask. I suppose all it takes is one, but that one guy was right the longer you are on the worse it gets. I know my messages have decreased majorly. I need new photos. I need another interest, i can't put it all on one dude.

Sorry i can't be more of help, b/c i am in the same boat.
 
Shay72 said:
So there is a big POF event on Nov 18 in Annapolis, MD. Not sure why they picked Annapolis but gave me a chance to see some of the women (competition if I go or in general since I'm sure they are from the DMV) that would be attending...interesting.
Click to expand...

Hmmm, a POF event?? I may have to check it out with you!! (even if I'm the competition :lachen:)
 
Ummm. We've been out everynight this week so far.:lachen: And he's super cool. He waited until my lil one went to bed before even attempting to meet up. Ahhh but the best part was that he sent and envelope to my mom with 40 bucks in it for watching son sleep while we are out. I dunno what im gonna do when mama leaves in 2 weeks. argh.
 
SUPER SWEET said:
Ummm. We've been out everynight this week so far.:lachen: And he's super cool. He waited until my lil one went to bed before even attempting to meet up. Ahhh but the best part was that he sent and envelope to my mom with 40 bucks in it for watching son sleep while we are out. I dunno what im gonna do when mama leaves in 2 weeks. argh.
Click to expand...

Sounds like a winner! Go you Go you!
 
SUPER SWEET said:
Ummm. We've been out everynight this week so far.:lachen: And he's super cool. He waited until my lil one went to bed before even attempting to meet up. Ahhh but the best part was that he sent and envelope to my mom with 40 bucks in it for watching son sleep while we are out. I dunno what im gonna do when mama leaves in 2 weeks. argh.
Click to expand...

Nice! Its so hard dating as a single parent. I swear if I meet a guy with children, he can't make time for me bc of his kids and if I meet a guy without children he can't understand that I can't go out every night of the week or just get up and leave when I felt like it. :ohwell:
 
Mr. FaceBook and I have been talking every night since the first night we exchanged numbers. :)

Last night we spoke on the phone for 2.5 hours and this was AFTER texting the majority of the day while we were at work. It's really refreshing to meet someone who has goals and ambitions and is just an all around really good guy. I would've never thought to consider dating younger than me, but maybe this is the start of something good. :)

Sunday we're having barbecue and watching movies! We already know we have a date to watch The Lakehouse, another date for him to cook for me, and one where we do dim sum.

I'm giddy like a school girl.. really hope this works out!!
 
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