***Online Dating Support Thread***

Ok, I'm officially going to close this fake profile. Here are the results of the experiment (and then I'm going to shut up bc I feel like a jerk dominating this thread :lol:):


  • I need new pics
  • The three guys I was legitimately interested in dating (one guy I actually did go out with, one guy I blew it with, and one guy I'm planning on going out with in future) did not message. All the background info was the same (age, education, smoking drinking blah blah) except my fake profile was 2 inches shorter than me. I can only conclude that either the about me or the pics did not get the job done for them. Small score for me
  • A lot of the generic guys are messaging just anybody and real me is not special for getting messages from them... OR my personality pulls them in regardless of what I look like, which, yeah right... the fake and I are not all that dissimilar except that she is smaller and friendlier.
  • Messages for the fake profile generally had a low match percentage. Only a handful of the messages were from anyone with a match 70 or higher, and on my real page I don't usually respond to guys unless the match is at least 70 or better. Most were in the 50s and 60s, with a lot of as low as 30s and 40s.
  • Slightly different match percentages will give you a whole new crop of guys to choose from
  • You don't have to be drop dead gorgeous to be one of the pretty girls... clearly this chick here is pretty enough. Funnily enough I get just as many compliments as far as being called pretty and whatnot but it seemed to mean more going to her as when it's me, I just brush it off.
  • Stupid random crap that isn't necessarily about you but is interesting enough to comment on is probably a better way to go as far as getting guys to message you. I got a lot of messages commenting on one of the stupid random thoughts in my about me section
  • The guys who messaged my fake were generally younger than the guys who message real me... probably because, comparatively, the profile content was a bit immature?
  • I don't know that the quality of guys was any better. I don't think that it was, possibly because the content of the profile made it easier on guys to have something to say in a message. I wouldn't say there was a message from a guy I would have loved to see message real me.

I'm deleting it because I feel like a douchebag for misleading that one guy. I replied to him a few times and then when I stopped messaging, he got persistent. The effed up part is that he mentioned a couple times that he usually ends up chasing the wrong girls, or that he never gets around to meeting the girls he really wants to... which leads me to believe I'm probably not the first jerkoff that did this to him :ohwell: I feel really bad and am going to have to make up some crap story to be done with it, because he's a nice guy and I don't want him to think a real girl wouldn't have met with him (although to be honest he probably would have actually scared a real girl off with how persistent and needy he got, SO QUICKLY). Probably not a guy I actually would have wanted to meet just based on compatibility but that I would based on niceness. So I feel pretty bad about that.

PS the "male" forum where the guys are all talking about their okcupid experience is enlightening as hell. Google someone's username and see if it comes up for you.
 
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^^^^aww I feel bad for that guy too :( I can't wait to hear what you're going to tell him! :lol: I hope he doesn't like...go crazy lol

Sent from my WX445 using WX445
 
Those that get messaged a lot, what did you put for your religion and smoking? Did you include your race on your profile? If so, did you put just black or black and other races?
 
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atheist and laughing about it, non-smoker and black. i thought it would be dumb not to include that since i'm obviously not Taiwanese.

it bugs me when i'm searching for someone black and a whole bunch of white people pop up because they've checked every box.:lol:
-------------

i also did a search for black guys last night and was surprised at how many there were. i was assuming there were very few since they hardly messaged me. turns out, i was right about them just not caring for me.:nono::lachen:
 
lushcoils said:
Those that get messaged a lot, what did you put for your religion and smoking? Did you include your race on your profile? If so, did you put just black or black and other races?
Click to expand...

me and my fake :lol: was atheist, never smoke, black only

I see a lot of black dudes check more than one ethnicity though.
 
Victorian said:
I see the regular black dudes who feel the need to check Native American all the time. I cracked up the first time I saw it--I thought that was just something women did lol
Click to expand...

i see this too. whenever we talk about stuff like this on the board we completely omit men (unless we're talking about their preferences) but they are just as brainwashed by that nonsense as women.

on "the first thing folks notice" section so many black folks claim they look exotic or they are ambiguous. sometimes i see it but most of the time i silently shake my head and politely click the red X.:lol:
 
Your making me want to re activate just for the lols:lol:

I dated a perfect guy earlier this year from OK cupid and I blew it (don't ask). I'm still hurting lol:sad:.

There are some beautiful, eligible guys on there, but I find you have to sift through a load, especially on POF. I don't have the energy for alladat right now.

Black guys don't message me much unless I have a certain pic up and even then its mostly foreign black guys.
 
Aww yah I got one message from some guy from another country but I couldn't tell where..

Message title : WHERE IS YOUR AFRO!?

What happened to your afro, are you wearing a wig or did you do something to it.

Please help.
 
Confession: When I was on e-harmony I conducted an experiment similar to mischka yet i took it a step farther. I wanted to see if there were more quality women than men, a fact that I pretty much knew deep down. So during one of their free holiday weekend thingys I developed a fake profile... as a man :look: I didn't post a picture and I didn't message/communicate with anyone with whom i was matched. Well, in reviewing matches and women who were contacting "Michael" it was clear, quality sisters far outnumber the men. Far outnumber. Not a surprise. Even though the experiment was to last a few days I had to delete the profile once E-harmony matched "Michael" to one of my good friends.

ETA: not long after i met my bf. September will be our 1 year anniversary. :)
 
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i took my time out to write something on cl and i had no response and was flagged w.in an hr. stuff like that just makes me hate men. if you dont like what i have to say move the frick on. you dont see me flagging posts of men that say they only want ww or bbws. if i dont fit the profile i dont freakin CARE! wth?!

anyway okcupid was a joke, match was lame, pof is iffy, datehookup is a joke and so is blackpplmeet with a bunch of dudes having 10+ kids, im not payin for that mess. i got the widest range of answers from cL but these jokers wont leave my ad up long enough for me to get any answers. i really dont get it. this is what i wrote, anyone wanna help me out here?

"Don't know how to begin this so I'll just start. Basically I am done with dating around. I am looking to settle down into a serious ltr. A bit about myself, I like piercings, anime, metaphysics, asian dramas, LOVE movies, tcm, go kart riding, shopping at thrift stores, dancing, garage sales, arcades (tho i hate video games) plays, discovering new bands and basically just love trying new fun things around town. I'd like to find someone to do these things with. I am a bit of a loner and not very social. I prefer to just have a small group of friends around then a bunch of ppl I barely know. I also have very high morals and standards which also make things a bit difficult. I am a liberal with a lot of conservative values. I value the simple things in life. I'm 5'7 113 lbs. I'm a hopeless romantic but I am very careful about who I let into my life. I would like to move slowly and would only be interested in someone who was looking for something serious NOW. As in, they want to get into a relationship that will lead to that.

About the guy I'm looking for. He must be tall. 6ft + is my preference, between the ages of 24-31. He MUST already be established in his career. Very good looking, NO kids, single, never married, no mixed emotions as to whether or not he's ready to settle down. Has to have been broken up with his last gf for at least a year already. I'm not too crazy about guys with a bunch of tattoos. A few is fine but I need someone I can bring home to my parents. Opened minded, no jail record, in SHAPE. I am very picky about that, I want my guy to either be slim or athletic. Has a thick head of hair or at least not losing his hair. I also am not too keen on bald heads. Good dental hygiene is also a big deal. One of the most important things is this man has to be a complete gentleman. The open doors, pull out chairs, walk on the outside of the sidewalk type of gentleman. I'm very serious about this. The guy that I'm looking for should be talkative (bc I'm not) able to hold a conversation, romantic, knows how to fix things, very smart but not condescending. Very traditional. Not easily offended and very patient, funny but not too goofy. I can be kind of shy so I'm looking for a take charge kind of guy, that is very important to me too.

Sure I'm asking for quite a bit, but I am not looking to just "hang out" I'm looking for something more serious than that. No booty calls or FWB so don't bother me with that mess.

There is a lot that I haven't done in the world and I am looking for someone to do these things with. So please be open to going out often and trying new things.

Also I will only respond if you have a picture attached to the email.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and if you're like the guy I described I hope to hear from you soon. "

and i put up a pic of me and my dog with my eyes blacked out.
 
Why didn't you leave a picture on there with your eyes showing?

Personally, I would leave CL alone if you can't handle being flagged or showing a picture of your full self. From what I read, women are constantly flagged.

I haven't had any luck online either; it seems like it's just saturated with people into playing games or not looking for anything serious right now or loser men. I would focus on meeting people in real life. Meetup groups and similar type of programs seem to be a good way to meet a variety of people from online with similar interests in a casual environment.
 
lushcoils said:
Why didn't you leave a picture on there with your eyes showing?

Personally, I would leave CL alone if you can't handle being flagged or showing a picture of your full self. From what I read, women are constantly flagged.

I haven't had any luck online either; it seems like it's just saturated with people into playing games or not looking for anything serious right now or loser men. I would focus on meeting people in real life. Meetup groups and similar type of programs seem to be a good way to meet a variety of people from online with similar interests in a casual environment.
Click to expand...


Well, I cant say I havent had ANY luck. But just none recently. There's decent guys on cL and a lot of weirdos. I dont want my entire face on there, idt thats a huge problem, especially since when I glanced on w4m hardly any women even had a picture up, period.

I do want to meet ppl in real life. But I am looking for something serious and I want to meet someone. I've been trying to meet someone irl for awhile now and it doesn't seem to be working. I think if you're really serious you should look at all options.
I met my first bf on cL and we were together for quite awhile, so I'm not knocking it, plus I've made a lot of good friends on there. I'm just venting and asking if anyone can see what's wrong w. the post or if its offensive in anyway.
Thanks for your response.
 
Ahh I see.

Now, I'm no expert at this online dating thing (obviously lol), but from the tips I've read:

You may want to focus more on the positive than on the negative in your profile.

So instead of no jail record, ...clean record. You can take out I don't want baldies/thinning hair, since you already said you want guys with thick hair, emotionally stable and ready to settle down instead of can't have broken up with your gf in the last....etc etc

Also, you may want to shorten your profile. It seems kind of long and you list a LOT of requirements. It may turn many men away, especially he needs to be good looking part. (I read that many guys don't think they are good looking enough when girls say they want a good looking guy).
 
lushcoils said:
Ahh I see.

Now, I'm no expert at this online dating thing (obviously lol), but from the tips I've read:

You may want to focus more on the positive than on the negative in your profile.

So instead of no jail record, ...clean record. You can take out I don't want baldies/thinning hair, since you already said you want guys with thick hair, emotionally stable and ready to settle down instead of can't have broken up with your gf in the last....etc etc

Also, you may want to shorten your profile. It seems kind of long and you list a LOT of requirements. It may turn many men away, especially he needs to be good looking part. (I read that many guys don't think they are good looking enough when girls say they want a good looking guy).
Click to expand...


Wow. Good tips. I got flagged again, though I did receive two msgs first =D I'll edit what I said based off of your advice.

One guy was unattractive, one wants to go to dinner tonight but I told him to stop messaging me until he sends a picture.

I didnt know so many men were so insecure though. Interesting..
 
I agree with lushcoils about shortening the profile. I know that you want to put all your requirements out there, but what's the point of having it there if no one will read it? And really, nobody's going to read all of that.

Put the key ones, the non-negotiables

Also, your tone is a little angry and confrontational. It doesn't come across like you really expect anything good to come from this. Maybe try sounding a little more pleasant?
 
freelove said:
I agree with lushcoils about shortening the profile. I know that you want to put all your requirements out there, but what's the point of having it there if no one will read it? And really, nobody's going to read all of that.

Put the key ones, the non-negotiables

Also, your tone is a little angry and confrontational. It doesn't come across like you really expect anything good to come from this. Maybe try sounding a little more pleasant?
Click to expand...


Really? I always read the whole thing after looking at the pix (if i find them attractive)

For the second bolded. Wow really?! I didnt realize that. Thats crazy. This is why you should get a second input bc I had no idea it came off that way bc that's not how I feel.

eta: should i cut off the stuff i'm looking for in a guy or the about me section?
 
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The first part of your about me section is a bit negative. "I don't know...I'm done with dating." I would just take that out.

What's tcm? Maybe take out that you hate video games? (That could be an conversation starter though, so Idk...)

You repeat that you want something serious several times. I think saying it once is fine.
I agree with freelove, don't list everything you want in a man.

I would take out the loner part and around then a bunch of ppl I barely know, and just say you like having a small group of friends. Or something more positive, like I love exploring places by myself or something like that.
 
i agree with it being super long. i honestly didn't read the whole thing.:ohwell:

i want to strip you down and have you sit on my face
i LOVE black pussy...and black ***
hmm hmm
Click to expand...
just reactivated 10 minutes ago. this is gonna be interesting.
 
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lushcoils said:
The first part of your about me section is a bit negative. "I don't know...I'm done with dating." I would just take that out.

What's tcm? Maybe take out that you hate video games? (That could be an conversation starter though, so Idk...)

You repeat that you want something serious several times. I think saying it once is fine.
I agree with freelove, don't list everything you want in a man.

I would take out the loner part and around then a bunch of ppl I barely know, and just say you like having a small group of friends. Or something more positive, like I love exploring places by myself or something like that.
Click to expand...


:bighug: thanks. i really appreciate it. tcm is turner classic movies, it's a movie station that shows old, classic films. i dont explain it bc its either the guy knows what it means or doesn't.

i said i'm done w. dating to kind of say im not trying to play games or date a bunch of guys on cL, but I see how that can be misconstrued. I'll take that out.

Victorian said:
runwaydream Oooh girl...:lol:

You're basically telling guys to stay away because you're going to be demanding, high-maintenance and difficult. It's not that you really are, it's just the way you worded things. I agree with the advice lushcoils has given.

I personally don't want to deal with men with kids or bad records or gold teeth or etc. etc., but I don't list that in my profile. I just dismiss/ignore whoever I have to as they show up. Yes, it's more work for you and can be a bit depressing and tiring, but the trade off you accept when you decide to lay it all down on the line is that even guys that technically WOULD fit your requirements will be turned off by their perception of your personality based off of what you wrote.
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lmfao @ demanding, high maintenance and difficult. yea it is more work and i didnt want anyone wasting their time or thinking they had a chance when they didn't. but i'll take off a few things. thanks a bunch. i'm glad I posted this on here. this feedback is really helpful.
 
Lushcoils has good advice :yep:

Its all about framing it positively:

I would put the "interested in someone who is also looking for a serious relationship" ONE time, either close to the beginning or close to the end.

I wouldn't place things in caps, it comes across as yelling. As adamantly as you may state your preferences, its not going to stop the undesirables from contacting you, they don't care about your personality and they contact everyone anyways. It may discourage the nice ones from contacting you, nice people don't like to be yelled at.

It seems like the things in caps are the things you are very serious about? Like I said earlier, shorten your list to the absolute essentials, everything else can be worked out later
 
ok, i hear you guys. i shorted it. here is what i have now

Don't know how to begin this so I'll just start. A bit about myself, I like piercings, anime, metaphysics, asian dramas, LOVE movies, tcm, go kart riding, shopping at thrift stores, dancing, garage sales, arcades (tho i hate video games) plays, discovering new bands and basically just love trying new fun things around town. I'd like to find someone to do these things with. I prefer to just have a small group of friends around. I am a liberal with a lot of conservative values. I'm 5'7 113 lbs. I'm a hopeless romantic but I am very careful about who I let into my life. I would like to move slowly, I think that would be the best way to begin.

About the guy I'm looking for. He must be tall. 6ft + is my preference, between the ages of 24-31. He should already be established in his career and no kids. Opened minded, clean record, in SHAPEOne of the most important things is this man has to be a complete gentleman. The open doors, pull out chairs, walk on the outside of the sidewalk type of gentleman. I'm very serious about this. Knows how to fix things, very smart but not condescending. Very traditional.

Sure I'm asking for quite a bit, but I am not looking to just "hang out" I'm looking for something more serious than that. No booty calls or FWB so don't bother me with that mess.

There is a lot that I haven't done in the world and I am looking for someone to do these things with. So please be open to going out often and trying new things.

Also I will only respond if you have a picture attached to the email.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and if you're like the guy I described I hope to hear from you soon.


btw, i've gotten a few responses. most i dont care for but one is really hot. dont know too much about him yet tho. he just asked me if i had a race preference thus far.
 
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