***Online Dating Support Thread***

Forgive me for this one but I just had to do it - you just know this is a black woman (since i'm already stereotyping folks)

From -BeHereNow- to flagger:

Love your interests but you come off as a bit harsh.

Must be that MBA in your blood. You of all people (metaphysics, esoterica, philosophy) should know that trinkets are worthless.

Patience is quite important, love.

Journey well.

From flagger to -BeHereNow-:

Hmmm. You think my profile was harsh, well you're begging for a rude awakening and this is it. This email is lengthy, and "harsh", and everything contained herein is not only well deserved on your part, but definitely WARRANTED. You call yourself a voluntaryist, yet you cross me to judge me [incorrectly that is], when i'm minding my own business!? You have a problem with honesty and call it harsh? You're mentally impotent ! Your response implies that you are someone important, so I'll use this opportunity to put you in your place.

Obviously you're hurt because my profile made you feel insecure in some way. You read my profile through the eyes of your own insecurities, but if you had self esteem you would see that what I wrote was just honest. Honesty is harsh and it hurts those who like to lie to themselves and hide from themselves. You wanted to try to "correct" me in order to help protect your ****ty ego. You tried to "put me in my place", but you're messing with an Aries, and you're sadly mistaken. You are fake and a poser. You aren't even authentic. I don't want to attract your kind. There is no point in trying to cater to inauthentic people who I wouldn't want anything to do with in any setting or realm. So, I'm glad to see that my profile repels your kind. I'm authentic. I don't aim to cater to people's low self esteem. Asking me to do so makes you a huge hypocrite. You are not a true buddhist or voluntaryist. You're a poser, a fake. You're using your fraudulent sense of spirituality to try to hide from the fact that you wouldn't be able to make it otherwise. So you act like degrees, material things, and "trinkets" are the enemy, only because deep down, you know you wouldn't be able to obtain them if you tried. So you have to make them the bad guys in order to feel like you have a purpose in your dereliction!

You write to me like you think you know who you are talking to. I do not fit into any mold because I am not predictable, however, I knew exactly who you are/were as soon as I saw your photo. You're supposed to be a "buddhist" yet you think you have the brains to try to challenge me??? Who the **** are you?!?!?!?!

I don't think you even have the intelligence or knowledge to even comprehend what real metaphysics and esoterica is. Not only am I a "business woman" (since you had the audacity to cite my MBA as if it was a negative- uneducated people usually do that-), but I also have a degree in philosophy, and I'm a magician. You are not an enlightened or higher being, like you think you are. You think that because you are a buddhist, you know more about the world and people than I do. Look at China, how well has budhism helped their view of human rights? You are a poser. People like you disgust me. I see right through you.

Real intelligence comes from both formal and informal education. Those who have mastered metaphysics have both a formal and informal education, and they're running the planet. Tell me, what power or influence do you actually have or are you close to even getting??? You're only a "budhist." The only reason why you call yourself "budhist" is to **** on "trinkets" or material things, because you don't have the spiritual knowledge or prowess to obtain them on your own, otherwise. So you act like they are the enemy- because you know that deep down you can't obtain them, and "budhism" makes you feel better about that. Kind of like why you wrote to me. I have an advanced degree and I'm not ashamed of it, you idiot. I am authentic and tell it like it is with no prisoners (and no apologies), and you feel insecure about it, so you wrote me an email to try to "put me in my place" because you are threatened because I know who and what I am and you do not know who or what you are. You fraud!

You are matter and spirit. Only an idiot denies one part of themself and honors the other. The denied part is going to consume you... So don't **** on material things and degrees, because you are material and you are ****ting on yourself in the process [hence you earning this email. This is your wakeup call]. But you didn't know that. Hmmm. By trying to "tell me like it is" you got schooled. Roger that.

You insulted me by acting like you know my character and that "I of all people should know..." b.s. Where did I say (or imply) that trinkets were important, in my profile??? If you can't even master how to make it on this planet and manifest what you want, then you don't know **** about metaphysics period!!! The only people who have mastered metaphysics completely are not the ones worrying about how to pay their rent, nor are they the ones who have kids with multiple women all over the place, nor are they the ones who think that ****ty rules and dogma define life. That's immature, low, and ridiculous. Budhism, dogma, and religion is fraud, bull****, and illusion purposely made for the little people. And you fell for it! What accomplishments do you think you have that you can try to call me out and judge me ?! If you were "enlightened" at all, you would know that there are no rules, only perception, so do not try to put me in a box and tell me how I should be!

You emailed me trying to judge me when I was being plain honest!!!! Perhaps you're looking for attention. I have a cloud of spirits and energies around me who are all my allies and friends. You just made the biggest mistake of your life. Who the **** ARE YOU????? What value do you bring to the world, and who would suffer a loss if you disappeared??? You had the nerve to try to attack my character, my knowledge of metaphysics, when you are NOT an intuitive, NOT a real metaphysician, and NOT knowledgeable about anything, period! You have a superficial, uneducated, unrealistic view of metaphysics. Nikola Tesla is a real metaphysician. Are you anywhere close???? Metaphysics isn't that ****ty book "The Secret" or "Power of you subconscious mind". Real metaphysics is learned from experience at a certain level of consciousness, and it is not found in books.

Have you ever accurately predicted the future? Have you mastered acquiring things material and immaterial at will? Do you know the esoteric and occult origins and functions of what's going on in the government? Do you know the "magic words" to say to a judge to get your case thrown out on the spot? Do you know esoteric and occult mechanics of the court system? Do you know how to create medicines based off of your intuition? Are you a healer, a psychic, an intuitive, an empath? Have you influenced the behavior of matter with your own mind? Have you built radionic machines? Are you well versed in psionics? Do you know how to program crystals to use in spells? Do you know the secrets behind performing alchemy? Do you understand how spells work? Do you have any psychic abilities? Can you do readings on people regardless of time and space? Do you know how to summon and work with entities and thoughtforms? I didn't think so, you stupid fool! Dogma is religion, which is the lowest and most corrupt form of spirituality. You preached dogma to me in your "message" . There is no spiritual covering over your head. You do not have any spiritual protection around you, yet you want to throw a smug punch at me???? WOW!

You crossed me and emailed me, "voluntarily" to be disrespectful. I did not initiate discourse with you. You initiated discourse with me only to be disrespectful to my existence- attacking my knowledge and character. **** YOU!!!! You have no spiritual knowledge, because if you did, you would not be dogmatic, and you would know that people are influenced and led to cross paths with certain people for a specific purpose. I mind my own business. I keep to myself, so when someone crosses my sphere, it's because the Universe put him/her there. And you call yourself a "voluntaryist", while violating my rights to my opinion and judging me as if you know me? And you had the nerve to be wrong on all of it!

Next time you want to cross someone or disrespect someone in a smug, coonish, way, make sure that person isn't a practicing magician. But even if that person is, whatever comes your way you definitely deserved. Looks can be deceiving. The most successful people in this world are scientists/business people WHO ARE ALSO well versed in the occult/ metaphysics/esoterica. They don't hold on to ****ty esoteric/metaphysical cookbooks from barnes and noble, or ****ty disgraceful members of the [un]conscious community like you do. I am the leader of my own coven and you want to **** on me??? The only type of people I allow into my circle are educated, magicians or practitioners. Trust me, WE ARE EVERYWHERE, and JUST WAITING for a smug punk like you to come out and do or say something out of pocket so that we can use you to practice our magic on. You aren't even on my spiritual level, and you judged me and sacrificed yourself willingly to me. Thanks for volunteering, voluntaryist!

You've got a lot to learn. There is a whole world out there that you are too spiritually drunk and unconscious to even be aware of. You should not be trying to school anyone! I can do things to matter and energy (including yours) that cannot even be proven with logic, and you think you can teach me something? You ****ing clown!

like, for real? lady i cannot IMAGINE why you are single.
 
I actually had to delete some of my commentary bc that message was so long it exceeded the maximum character limit!
 
And the crazy thing is SHE reported HIM! I think her report comment said "he wrote some bullsiht to me." :lol: psycho!

Anyway, I just got this message from this guy I talked to awhile back like... probably last winter. we had fun convos but then some drama came up in his life and that put an end to our conversations, totally amicably. He just sent me this message... and the funny thing is I was JUST thinking about him. When I decided to google people the other day, I googled him for kicks (nothing came up). Anyway:

Pardon ma'am, don't suppose you remember us talking quite a bit back. I was wondering if you might be down to link up for a drink or something along the lines in the near future. I recall you being rad and a quick review shows that you are in fact thoroughly foxy, if you don't mind me saying.

Gimme a shout if you're so inclined, yeah?
FML! I feel like, em.... THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!! You are twenty five now, and you are WASTING TIME! I'm standing on the precipice and I can feel massive amounts of change, I can SEE my life... and I am hesitating. This is so crazy to me. It's all RIGHT THERE and I'm not moving. I have been anxious all night stuck under this feeling. I just read this book about this chick who was having an affair with a man who TRULY LOVED HER and I realized, I think of myself being married, being happy, being quirky and goofy, and enjoying my life, but I never think of a guy really feeling that way about me. I never think of a relationship where the guy is feeling that intensely about me, and why is that?

I've wandered miles from the topic of online dating because the two things aren't really related here :lol: but what I mean is, why am I scared of going all out? Scared of owning what I feel I deserve? I never really thought of myself as the "free spirit" type (unfortunately I tend to associate the term with recklessness rather than true freedom as many "free spirit" aka f*ckup types have probably ruined the term) but I'm definitely someone who has to live being true to herself as her number one priority. Yet I hesitate to do the free fall. I don't push my potential to the max even though I know it's my destiny, my evolution as a person.

I just feel, it's right there... it's RIGHT THERE...

ah forgive me... I tend to get wonky in the early morning hours, i'm sure it drives my fb friends nuts :lol: but ive had a lot on my mind today...
 
Dropping a First Message here out of consideration for your messaging thoughts in your profile. I'll probably keep browsing your profile periodically for the next few days because you're attractive and have Book Thoughts and the flawless computer brain says we're a high match so I'm going through your questions.

You've got some good taste in music too even if Arcade Fire just hits my ears like a stream of undifferentiated bordom. I've Got Opinions.

Do with this knowledge whatever you want.

cool message y/n?
 
What if he was 37 :look:

eta actually thats a rhetorical question bc that's just too damn old for me. i'm sure he's probably older than that bc the dude in those pics is clearly no spring chicken.

still cool message :sad:
 
Nothing in this gibberish explains why you would go after a white man who specifically states on his profile. Instead of explaining why, after all Im just going by your own post, you rather rant on something that has nothing to do with anything. By all means, Ignore on! :D

NaijaTroll

Rant? You're confused, again. I won't explain something I never said or typed.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Does anyone ever walk away from these online date/meetings with guy friends? None of these guys are horrible. Just not romance material!

i have... sorta.... about 7 years ago, i met a guy on blackpeoplemeet.... he was stationed in iraq at the time so we communicated online for a few months... he'd call me from overseas as well.... then he came back stateside and drove from texas to va to see me... we tried to start a relationship but we weren't all that compatible.... we've both moved on to other relationships but we've maintained a friendship all this time...

now, i'll qualify it by saying that he still professes his undying love and devotion to me... i'll be seeing him for the first time in about 6 years when i go on a biz trip next week (he's driving 4 hours to see me, but hey, i'm flying so we're even)... lol

all that to say, you can end up with some guy friends... lol
 
cool message y/n?

imo, no.... but his thoughtflow is obviously not on the same thoughtplane as my thoughtflow... see, i can't even pretend to write all weird and outside multiple boxes.... he's in my preferred age dating bracket and i'd throw him back based off of that message...
 
Weird and outside the box? How so?

Dropping a First Message here out of consideration for your messaging thoughts in your profile. I'll probably keep browsing your profile periodically for the next few days because you're attractive and have Book Thoughts and the flawless computer brain says we're a high match so I'm going through your questions.

You've got some good taste in music too even if Arcade Fire just hits my ears like a stream of undifferentiated bordom. I've Got Opinions.

Do with this knowledge whatever you want.

to me, that message wreaks of "i'm smart yet aloof and hey, see how cool i think i am but don't get your hopes up because did i mention i'm smart, yet aloof?"...... i appreciate and prefer direct messages - this one just seems like the beginning of the dating "game", rather than a real attempt to connect with someone....

this is the kind of message to which i would reply, "um, ok"....

idk, my general feel from his message is arrogance... the uber cool intelligent guy.... rubs me the wrong way....
 
My profile is probably pretty much the same, or "aloof did I mention I'm smart" :lol: as you put it, so perhaps that's why those kinds of messages appeal to me. I'm that type of person too so it's a score for me to attract likewise.

Also, I'm pretty interested in the dating "game." I hate those businesslike "dating transaction" messages :nono: THOSE to me come off as an attempt not to connect with someone. I'm this this and this and I'm looking for this this and this. Ok, and? How about even a perfunctory icebreaker or something?

idk, I just don't like those, they remind me too much of dudes yelling at me on the street.
 
Ok, yes I'm a loser sometimes, that much is a given so no one hate me for what I'm about to say. And yes clearly I have too much time on my hands.

But I just made a how you might say not legit profile on okc just to see what's really up with the variance in response rates. The profile is still a black girl, but I think she's relatively cuter than I am, and also thinner. And she's smiling in her pics. I'm not smiling in any of mine lol. Just so see if the messages will be different.

And it's kind of pissing me off because people are telling this random ***** how cool she is and it's MY THOUGHTS and words and siht :lol: I copied a note from my facebook where I'm just rambling random thoughts and it's getting compliments n siht... omg lol... this is probably bad for my self esteem.

eta: irony of ironies (not ironic at all?) s from my dating thread just viewed my fake profile. he rated me (real me) four or five stars which was how we connected, but he didnt rate this one. SMALL COMFORT :lol: that fcking douchenozzle. well, at least i can assume that means he actually thought i was cute? :lol: im gonna be mad all over again if it turns out he eventually messages.

this is weird. so many of the same faces here. i guess some of these guys legit have a thing for black girls.

i probably need to stay out of this thread! i know i have taken it over! :lol:

**** i need a job. not so much for me but... i probably need to get off the computer :rofl: i come in this thread and its like i cant help myself, lol
 
Last edited:
I've seen several guys I've met irl over there. Well not several - two. Some who messaged me messaged her but some didn't. It gets a lot of steady views, but so far I think I'm winning :lol: :rofl:
 
Ok, this siht just pisses me off. This dude has been messaging me (real me) for weeks now bugging me and wanting to hang out. He's one of the guys who sends regular "hey how are you" messages that irritate me. I only im'ed with him once and then blocked him from it because a.) the conversation was vanilla as **** and b.) he wanted to im me every time I turned it on.

So he messages my fake page! He says:

hey there kendall finally a girl who voices their opinion and is not afraid to swear lol. Had a good laugh at the dinosaur section :). I noticed your into shopping what other kinds of things are you into? Speaking of shopping would you want to hang out and get a new camera lol.
First of all, you are complimenting ME, d*ck. That chick doesn't voice her opinion. It's my opinion! :rofl: And why is he suddenly less irritating and less boring? Second of all, you didn't f*cking offer to trick off on me as just a random first message.

Officially blocked! :lol: :lol: :rofl:

Srsly! This is the most surreal siht ever!
 
Ok, this siht just pisses me off. This dude has been messaging me (real me) for weeks now bugging me and wanting to hang out. He's one of the guys who sends regular "hey how are you" messages that irritate me. I only im'ed with him once and then blocked him from it because a.) the conversation was vanilla as **** and b.) he wanted to im me every time I turned it on.

So he messages my fake page! He says:

First of all, you are complimenting ME, d*ck. That chick doesn't voice her opinion. It's my opinion! :rofl: And why is he suddenly less irritating and less boring? Second of all, you didn't f*cking offer to trick off on me as just a random first message.

Officially blocked! :lol: :lol: :rofl:

Srsly! This is the most surreal siht ever!

as an experiment, it really just goes to show how it's not always what we say, it's the package that's presenting the thoughts.... imo, different combinations produce different vibes and, in my case, color how i react to that person.... i wouldn't take it too personally if i were you - the chemistry is off between your actual-factual self and him....
 
Does anyone find the following response rude:

Umm, I would have called you but I don't have your number. Too much chivalry is treating people with respect, not acting out a scene from Leave it to Beaver.

This dude gave me his number and told me call him sometime. That's all he said in his message. We haven't said much in out email correspondence. How about asking if you can have my number? I thought it was rude, but I have also been accused of being to sensitive.
 
Does anyone find the following response rude:

Umm, I would have called you but I don't have your number. Too much chivalry is treating people with respect, not acting out a scene from Leave it to Beaver.

This dude gave me his number and told me call him sometime. That's all he said in his message. We haven't said much in out email correspondence. How about asking if you can have my number? I thought it was rude, but I have also been accused of being to sensitive.

Yes it was rude and the Leave to Beaver comment was uncalled for. Some men are so effin lazy and arrogant, I would not bother to respond or call him.
 
as an experiment, it really just goes to show how it's not always what we say, it's the package that's presenting the thoughts.... imo, different combinations produce different vibes and, in my case, color how i react to that person.... i wouldn't take it too personally if i were you - the chemistry is off between your actual-factual self and him....

This really is probably the closest I'll come to seeing what it's like to be exactly the same person but how I would get treated if I looked differently. I have learned that I'm perhaps not as cute as I think I am because this profile gets like one view per 20 minutes all day long. Or maybe just that I should smile in my profile pic :lol: I don't think my smile is that cute though. I don't photograph well smiling.

Anyway, this has been good for showing me which guys pretty much just message everybody and which guys (out of the ones that visited both) were probably interested in me specifically. There were a couple guys that I'm willing to bet just message anything that looks pretty good and seems non-retarded. That black guy who was a firefighter found and messaged pretty quickly. (That other black guy I was into never even visited back, and I visited while I knew he was online because he was messaging me at the time.) And some others that actually messaged me more than once during my time there came right on along and messaged. The good part is some of the guys I was really into took a pass. So that's encouraging :lol:

I think maybe I'll keep it just to do follow up work on guys I might be interested in :look: I also really want to put up some new pics on my real profile, but I just haven't taken any new pics in forever. I wanna take flashier pictures, and pictures where I look more approachable (i.e. smiling and friendly). I wish I hadn't had this setback with my hair because I can't wait to be long haired already :cry3:
 
^^^did you cut your hair????

You should post a pic of the girl on your fake profile :lol: I wanna see! Is she a unicorn? :lol:

Sent from my WX445 using WX445
 
No, she's not a unicorn. She's just a cute brown skinned girl, which i generally how I would describe myself most of the time. The important things for me was that she was skinnier, looked more outgoing, and was imo more conventionally pretty. You know we look at ourselves so much we appear less cute to ourselves over time :lol:

This is the fake default pic (lawd I hope nobody knows this chick irl). I didn't want to put up a unicorn because if the responses were really different, it would be obvious why :lol: I had to put up a girl who had attainable differences that I might need to incorporate i.e. losing weight and being nicer :lol:

And I didn't cut my hair, but I had a setback that took me about a full inch above apl again.

eta: another thing I wanted to look at that I'm hesitant to draw any conclusions on was differences in a girl that looks more like an "around the way" girl. Big gold jewelry, regular relaxed hair, contacts, urban look kind of thing. So I wonder if that plays into the differences too.
 
Last edited:
WHHHYYYYYYY!!!!!

Subject: Hi
From: valleyboi33
Sent Date: 8/10/2011 11:37:32 AM

"you're sexy for a black girl, but not thin and you spelled CEO wrong"


just... :huh:

He's white I guess. I told him to go *** himself. And yes, I spelled CEO right, like..how do you mess that up?
 
Last edited:
Back
Top