***Online Dating Support Thread***

[NaijaTroll]

No offense Bay but you come off mad desparate

First off dude that said "lets meet now"..UM NO. A STRANGER shouldnt dictate such a thing. Even if you had the time to do that, he shouldnt know that. If he were serious, he'd wanna work around your schedule instead of jut going "oh please sir, lemme change my clothes"

2nd dude..um are you biracial? dude says he specifically dates ww..yet you thought you were the special person to suddenly change his mind? Im confused on why you'd go for someone who made his preference known that doesnt include you. at the end of it, he played you with lame excuses which Im sure he wouldnt have used on a ww. You should have never given him a chance in the first place not to talk of a 2nd date after he told you all that BS :/

 

[mischka]

You know, for some reason it never occurred to me to google people but I'm doing it now and DEAR LORD.... the internet is like the worst invention ever the way it allows me to indulge my nosiness. I'm about to spaz out over here

 

[mischka]

I am officially mildly stalking this dude. FML.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I am officially mildly stalking this dude. FML.

mischka is it good or bad?

 

[DejaVu2]

I am officially mildly stalking this dude. FML.

ETA: I do the same sh!t gurl.

 

[mischka]

Let's just say that he's doing the EXACT same thing that we're doing over here, in this thread. Their forum is a pay forum too, so I can't just click at his profile and view all his posts... Their thread is way longer than ours, lol

 

[Victorian]

..........

 

[Victorian]

..........

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

mischka An all male forum? Wheeerrreeee!!!???

 

[mischka]

Did he say anything about you in the thread??

Idk. The thread is like a kabillion pages long and I'm not about to read it all, and googling his user name against the site takes almost equally as long. Plus I can't figure out the dates for sure on the posts I read enough to see he thinks he's some kind of big shot

He appears to spend most of his time there talking about photography, so there wasn't anything bad or incriminating that I can see. Other than the need to kick myself some more for messing that one up

 

[mischka]

look at who im talking to right now

ah f9ck my f9cking life why do i leave my im on

 

[Victorian]

..........

 

[LivingDol1]

Went on my dates this weekend. Hmm.

Friday date: guy is hot. Tall, vampire Eric-like... But not that interesting or funny. Tis a shame bc he writes good emails. He just doesn't convey enough personality for me, I guess. Maybe he's slow to warm up? I'm a bit shy as well so I need someone who can make conversation easily and isn't afraid to talk about certain things. I wouldn't not go on another date but I'd need him to open up! He asked me out again but I'll be out of town, which is a bummer. I'd like to give him another chance. He's so hard to get to know!

Saturday date: Did NOT look like his photos! I was kinda mad about that. This kid was extremely nerdy. Oddly, I had a nice time talking to him and we had a lot in common... And we were drinking. Friday nite guy doesn't drink. But, I'm not physically attracted to nerdy guy.

Does anyone ever walk away from these online date/meetings with guy friends? None of these guys are horrible. Just not romance material!

 

[CurlyMoo]

I just got this gem of a message from a white man on okc:

Are you wearing a wig...........or is that your real hair?

erplexed

I bet he's American or has lived in the America for some time if he isn't! Which is why I don't like dealing with them as dating options. Too damn familar with Black American culture.

 

[CurlyMoo]

i blame chris rock

One White guy told me that he loved the Chris Rock film because it helps White men understand Black women. erplexed

 

[HauteHippie]

Writing "no offense" does not negate the offense. This is still the Online Dating Support Thread, right? Emphasis on Support.

Anyway, I don't think Bay did anything "wrong". I do think that if a guy asks me to meet "right now", he should expect that there's like a 95% chance that the answer will be no, with a 4% chance of meeting in 2-3 hours and a 1% chance of us meeting in an hour. If it's the first time we are meeting ever then it still needs to be light outside for the vast majority of the date. It just doesn't show a lot of respect for the other person's time to ask to meet NOW, but whatev.

And don't feel bad about the Biracial guy. Me personally, I wouldn't express an interest in anyone who doesn't express an interest in Black women on his profile. If he indicates any race is fine, then that's a green light, too. But at the same time that doesn't necessarily mean a guy won't be interested in you; I just wouldn't write him first.

When I was on Match years ago in SC sometimes guys would contact me whose profiles expressed an interest in WW or Latina/WW only. I would sometimes respond and just write something like, "Oh, I saw your profile, but didn't write after seeing that you were not open to Black women." No biggie. Depending on their response I might go out with them (any negative response about BW in general was a no-no) and see what they're like in person.

Anyway, all that to say that I did meet a WM who selected WW as his preference (I totally missed that and addressed it later). We became friends and eventually dated later and became a serious couple. Sometimes people put the groups they think will be interested in them.

However, if a Black or Biracial man who is part Black selects racial preferences and does not indicate an interest in Black women, I will not write or respond to e-mails/IMs. That would just be too much umm... self-hatred to get into. Even if he feels otherwise, the root of his preference is probably dirty.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

 

[CurlyMoo]

I wonder if these are men who don't have the guts to talk to black women IRL but online chase after us like we're some rare commodities. SMH. I can't be bothered by these types

Yes on POF, my inbox is full of white dudes. Some of them have the nerve to ask, "You like white guy?" And this is in the middle of us live chatting! I hate that question. What does he care what I like? Convince me you are the guy for me and go for what you want. Reeks of whimpy.

 

[HauteHippie]

Does anyone ever walk away from these online date/meetings with guy friends? None of these guys are horrible. Just not romance material!

LivingDol1
Yup! But if all is cool, our friends are fair game for the other. It's like we like each other, but there's no chemistry, so we might as well expand our social circles and enjoy our time together.

The guy I just mentioned above was sweet, but painfully shy on our first date. Noticeably hot. We didn't talk much, but he was pleasant. We were friends for 3 years before we dated, which was unexpected. Our friends also ended up dating each other. It was fun and could've lasted longer, but I was not ready for the turn we were taking.



Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

 

[Keshieshimmer]

LivingDol1 I would give the vampire another chance. Maybe he thought you were shy as well since you two had trouble talking. Maybe do an activity next date?

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

One White guy told me that he loved the Chris Rock film because it helps White men understand Black women. erplexed

 

[NaijaTroll]

Writing "no offense" does not negate the offense.

OH WELL. By telling her those things, hopefully she'll put herself first in the future. Support doesnt mean sugarcoating IMO.

Anyway, I don't think Bay did anything

And I disagree. Anyway it's something everyone says, you dont jump hoops. Dude cant just demand you to meet him right then. They should work on your schedule or the two should come to a compromise. Simple as that.

When I was on Match years ago in SC sometimes guys would contact me whose profiles expressed an interest in WW or Latina/WW only. I would sometimes respond and just write something like, "Oh, I saw your profile, but didn't write after seeing that you were not open to Black women." No biggie. Depending on their response I might go out with them (any negative response about BW in general was a no-no) and see what they're like in person.

You contradicted yourself in the bolded. You actually WROTE to someone to tell them that you didnt write because of what they said on their profile? HUH? and in your last paragraph, why are you making excuses for white men? It's ok for a white man to say he's only seeking white women, to the point that you'd STILL reach out to him despite that but when a biracial says he's seeking white women then he has issues and must be avoided. white men can do no wrong on LHCF huh?

 

[mischka]

Sounds like date with vampire was just a bad date... not necessarily indicative of his personality. However I probably wouldn't go out with him again personally. I put a lot of effort into making sure I have fun on dates and if I go out with a guy who is just a dud I would expect the next outing to be the same.

 

[NaijaTroll]

^agreed. Hot and boring is still wack unfortunately

 

[mischka]

That guy I talked to last night was a sucker. He was twenty five and told me he had just had his first "real" relationship and it lasted 3 weeks... "relationship"... it was this chick he had been pining over who was dating someone the entire 2 years he knew her who finally gave him some once the dude dropped her... then he must have took her back because she dipped... He's twenty five and this is the first thing that has passed for a relationship in his life... So I asked, ok well how is the site working out for you? And he says he's met about five women but he has to put in crazy work to even get to that point... I'm like first of all, women resent being made to feel obligated to go out with you... hanging around playing the sucker friend role, she knows what you're doing and she doesn't like it... second of all dude was boring as hell, why you expect anyone to want to go out with you and you're dull as dirt and apparently have no personality... I was cranky and melancholy bc I was starving and in a crap mood and he kept talking to me... finally I made some comment about "nice guys" and he loled and stopped talking... lol

Those are a type of white guys I can't deal with...

 

[BayAreaDream]

No offense Bay but you come off mad desparate

First off dude that said "lets meet now"..UM NO. A STRANGER shouldnt dictate such a thing. Even if you had the time to do that, he shouldnt know that. If he were serious, he'd wanna work around your schedule instead of jut going "oh please sir, lemme change my clothes"

2nd dude..um are you biracial? dude says he specifically dates ww..yet you thought you were the special person to suddenly change his mind? Im confused on why you'd go for someone who made his preference known that doesnt include you. at the end of it, he played you with lame excuses which Im sure he wouldnt have used on a ww. You should have never given him a chance in the first place not to talk of a 2nd date after he told you all that BS :/

LoL, Thank you for your input. I posted here to get feed back yes. One thing i'm not is desperate though
The guy who wanted to meet that day I called we had already exchanged maybe 8-10 emails and when I called to say hi, yes it did catch me a little off guard that he wanted to meet but I thought hey why not, since I had already wrote off a few people out of pure laziness I thought sure let's meet, just let me change real quick!
I apologize for the way my 1st post came off, the biracial did NOT specify in his profile at all that he only dated ww. I always steer clear of people who specifically write that in a profile. We talked on the phone and he still did not mention this. We planned to meet and while chatting on the patio did he mention that the last few GF were ww. He did say he went out on dates with BW but for some reason him or them there was never a 2nd date. Honestly I thought he was confused a little, he said he loves black woman but hasn't dated many and wasn't against it. The 2nd date happened only because I asked for advice from my friends and they said to not totally write him off yet since the first date went so good. They said not to take the first dates too seriously and of course you have to be friends first any ways. So thought why not an I went... It was alright I suppose, It only felt awkward after the movie an were sting our goodbyes. It was like... Um ok, what now good luck with your ex erplexed see ya around buddy.
Haha another long story sorry ladies.

 

[NaijaTroll]

LoL, Thank you for your input. I posted here to get feed back yes. One thing i'm not is desperate though

Good to know

I apologize for the way my 1st post came off, the biracial did NOT specify in his profile at all that he only dated ww. I always steer clear of people who specifically write that in a profile. We talked on the phone and he still did not mention this. We planned to meet and while chatting on the patio did he mention that the last few GF were ww. He did say he went out on dates with BW but for some reason him or them there was never a 2nd date. Honestly I thought he was confused a little, he said he loves black woman but hasn't dated many and wasn't against it. The 2nd date happened only because I asked for advice from my friends and they said to not totally write him off yet since the first date went so good. They said not to take the first dates too seriously and of course you have to be friends first any ways.

Ah ok. see your first post made it seem like his profile stated his preference form the beginning and Im here still wondering why the hell did you bother lol but since that wasnt the case, n/m However I think your friends still steered you wrong. after he told you all of that the 2nd date was just a waste of time since he already made up his mind and like you mentioned obviously awkward Good luck in the next ones!

 

[HauteHippie]

You contradicted yourself in the bolded. You actually WROTE to someone to tell them that you didnt write because of what they said on their profile? HUH? and in your last paragraph, why are you making excuses for white men? It's ok for a white man to say he's only seeking white women, to the point that you'd STILL reach out to him despite that but when a biracial says he's seeking white women then he has issues and must be avoided. white men can do no wrong on LHCF huh?

NaijaTroll

Normally, I just ignore your posts, but umm... you're confused.

Reading is fundamental.

No one gets a pass and, I know you don't know this since you don't know me, but I hardly even date White men and I wouldn't REACH OUT to any man who didn't include Black women in his preferences if he states preferences.

That's pretty much the extent of my explanation b/c you interpret things as you see fit. Of course, your perspective is off. Troll on!

 

[LivingDol1]

LivingDol1 I would give the vampire another chance. Maybe he thought you were shy as well since you two had trouble talking. Maybe do an activity next date?

He invited me to see a play that takes place in a hotel and you follow the actors around with masks on and watch the scenes. It's a popular play here right now and I was dying to see it. He knows my interests, which is nice, but yeah, kind of a dud when it comes to personality in person.

I think I'll have to not go on dates with him in the future. Kind of odd too bc he writes articles on dating and they've been published. He should be a player, not a bore! At least it is good practice for me! I never go on dates. I hope to meet more guys but lately I've been getting emails from oldies and uglies. It's almost an insult to have an ugly try to approach me. Like, are you serious?! Lol.

 

[mischka]

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/MrUnbreakable

here is another prince for you ladies to fight over this one is in virginia and boy is he mature for 33

Icing on the cake he has the nerve to literally complain about women who dare to think the man should do the chasing. what a prince that one

eta: read the message me if. UGH! This dude is EVERYTHING it means to be a kang!!! I should do a screenshot of this profile and post it every time someone wonders what a kang is! talking bout "If you do not like to cook for that special man in your life*ME ME ME LOL*"

 

[NaijaTroll]

@NaijaTroll

Normally, I just ignore your posts, but umm... you're confused.

Reading is fundamental.

No one gets a pass and, I know you don't know this since you don't know me, but I hardly even date White men and I wouldn't REACH OUT to any man who didn't include Black women in his preferences if he states preferences.

That's pretty much the extent of my explanation b/c you interpret things as you see fit. Of course, your perspective is off. Troll on!

Nothing in this gibberish explains why you would go after a white man who specifically states on his profile. Instead of explaining why, after all Im just going by your own post, you rather rant on something that has nothing to do with anything. By all means, Ignore on!