***Online Dating Support Thread***

[Etherealsmile]

I know...thanks you guys...this is what I sent him

ME:
your right because I can't come due to my work constraints. Dude seriously, If you REALLY want to meet me, hop in your car and come down to atlanta next weekend. I can't fly nor drive on the weekends. So let me know if you can come down next weekend. OH since you already took off the day I was supposed to come visit you....just come on down.


His Response:
lol how smart am I ? you have to give me credit that i had u pegged though

I just lol'ed and told him please. He's so dumb anyway. I have his phone and cellphone number and knows his work address and he's on my FB, he know's nothing about me really.

Well back to the drawing board. It's so hard to meet a decent guy 8/

I am so glad you saw his true colors, you didn't even have to do much and he showed his a-s-s

 

[Spiffy]

^His half a-s-s at that because that's exactly what he is! The right guy for you will we bugging you to come see you, just hang in there.

 

[geishagrrl24]

well I only got the courage because you guys helped me! 8)

 

[Nelli04]

i think im going to delete my account, i dont think the guy im looking for is on okc...i think ill just wait to meet him irl :/

 

[mischka]

Ok, so I finally decided to check out the moderation thing on okcupid. I had skimmed it before but I didn't really get it. The way it works is they show you the items people reported and why, and various other users (like myself I presume) vote on whether the user should be deleted or left alone.

In addition to pictures, they show private messages that people flag, so you get to read how people harass each other. They also show how old the person's profile is and how many times they've been reported. It's normally men btching at women who reject them. So fear not, guys, it's not just us lol.

eta:

here's an example: this is the user who flagged and why:

Vulgar, threatening, sick message from a known harasser on this site. I wish you would do something about him he seems mentally unstable and do you really want his type on your site?

and this is the message she reported:

Still scamming the boys here, I see, with your bare back pics. Beats shoving vibrators up your snatch in real time, I guess. But at least those girls are honest. Nice hardwood floors you have there.

This is actually kind of cool because they show the person's profile who got flagged along with their username, so if any of them ever message me I will already know what kind of sicko they are

 

[Nelli04]

awe man i want to be a moderator!
*reconsiders canceling account*

 

[mischka]

[An image of ????????] 25/M/Straight76% match / 34% enemy

hey, stayed in tonight?

yeah i guess it is friday

you?

its saturday haha

well, sunday now

lmao youre right

its not friday lol

yep

lol sorry

dont be, i dont judge haha

ive been thinking its friday lol

how are you?

sucks for you, weekends over

but monday is the 4th

im good, you

ugh ikr

my birthday is on the seventh actually

so its good that i got the days straight

1/4 century

**** youre right

about the time for a quarter life crisis

it says your drunk at night?

haha

what does? lol

haha what are you gonna do!

lol

oh right it does

its right lol

yep

should stop getting on here when im drunk

 

[VelvetRain]

That moderator job sounds like something I would love. I find it utterely pleasant to give folks the boot.

 

[VelvetRain]

Thank you guys so much for you advise. I told him I wasn't coming. He is from afroromance. this is what he emailed me: classic:
its time to meet in person... from all your emails... and all we have talked so far on phone and IM...

His response:

I DO NOT THINK YOU WILL MEET IN PERSON... I dont think there is a 0 chance of you coming .. even after you said you boooked the flight... i said to myself.. she will cancel lol there is no way she will come... SOOOOOOOOOO i want to meet in person and go from there.. I dont want to keep talking on the phone and spending time and getting to know someone THAT WILL NOT MEET ME IN PERSON ... when u started sending me those long emails about how you felt about this whole thing i knew right then and there you would not meet... so forgive me if i dont want to spend more time on phone and chatting when i know in the end you wont meeet me lol.. comprenday ?? i want to meet you bad but i know no matter what i say YOU AINT COMMMING

my face I was like whatever lol

I kinda knew this was how this was going to play out as soon as you described the situation. You are very wise for not going to see that fool. That's exactly how you get trapped up in some date rape situation. Always trust your instincts. Even you knew this situation wasn't kosher.

A man who truly is developing feelings for you and can see himself wanting to build something with you will not be pressuring you for a damn thing while at the same time exhibiting the art of paitience.

 

[missjones]

Well he seems nice. We'll see if this goes anywhere.

Although he lives in another state and is like 15 years older than me

 

[nlamr2013]

All your guys stories are so funny. I wanted to try online dating (mostly for the free food ) but I just felt it was weird. Did any of you ever feel that way before you started?

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

OH MY GAWWWWDDDD!!!!! I just got back from my 4th date w/ this guy that I have been seeing. It's 4:30am here in Los Angeles, so I will come back in the afternoon to tell y'all about this sick Phucker.

 

[Victorian]

..........

 

[LushLox]

I'm not even sure where to start, I feel rather overwhelmed. I met this guy that I saw last week for lunch but this date was even better than that. We went to the cinema, but more of an upmarket cinema where the seating is plush and luxorious (sic?). We sat in a more private area on a two seater sofa and a waiter brought us wine and nibbles. We had quite a while to chat and flirt before the movie started and we also had a few kisses.

We had a nice stroll through the park afterwards for a bit more chatting and flirting. We get on so well it's unreal! I'm waiting to see what the catch is here but it's not presented itself as yet. I'm trying not to run away with myself and stay grounded, but it's not easy. I wasn't going to date anyone else but maybe I should as this guy is in my head far too much for someone that I haven't even dated for that long...

 

[Angelicus]

Well i joined Okcupid and I am ready to mingle. Hope this works out.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

Am I the only one put off by "love poems" in a guy's profile? It's one thing to be romantic, but...A man who winked at me has a poem to his future wife as half of his profile. And then he used the word "conversate", which I can't stand. *sigh* Maybe I'm just not romantic enough...

i HATE that... all of that!!!!

 

[CurliDiva]

Finally talked with the long distance guy this weekend, and his voice was not as (......how should I put this nicely...) MANLY as I had imagined. I mean based on his height (6'7") and build (solid), I thought there would have been more BASE in his pitch.

No a deal breaker, but I'm just saying

 

[SqrpioQutie]

Finally talked with the long distance guy this weekend, and his voice was not as (......how should I put this nicely...) MANLY as I had imagined. I mean based on his height (6'7") and build (solid), I thought there would have been more BASE in his pitch.

No a deal breaker, but I'm just saying

*giggle* i think i get the most tense over that first phone conversation.... if someone's voice is irritating to me, it's something i have a really hard time getting past.... there's one guy now who pops up every now and then who i just refuse to talk to on the phone because his voice is not only high-pitched but also whiny.... and as fine as he is, i can't get past his voice...

 

[mischka]

That's why I don't like talking on the phone before we meet, in case they don't think my voice is "girly" enough...

 

[Skiggle]

Do you think its corny to "wink" at a guy.
I recently activated my OKcupid profile and saw a able
dude. I just want to see if he'll take the bait...

He fits most of my criteria.

 

[LushLox]

*giggle* i think i get the most tense over that first phone conversation.... if someone's voice is irritating to me, it's something i have a really hard time getting past.... there's one guy now who pops up every now and then who i just refuse to talk to on the phone because his voice is not only high-pitched but also whiny.... and as fine as he is, i can't get past his voice...

Yep me too. Doing this online thing has made me realise just how important someone's voice is. I won't do whiny neither will I do,'common sounding.' I know that sounds snobbish and awful but after talking to a guy with the most broadest common London cockney accent recently I just knew I couldn't listen to that voice long term, it would drive me mad.

 

[LushLox]

Do you think its corny to "wink" at a guy.
I recently activated my OKcupid profile and saw a able
dude. I just want to see if he'll take the bait...

He fits most of my criteria.

I don't see why not, lots of ladies on here do - go for it!

 

[runwaydream]

wow @ this message i just got

I'll get right to it. I believe the economy could possibly collapse very soon, and I am looking for a woman who would be
willing to go into the mountains with me if this does happen. I know this is kind of a random email, but I do believe that the
economy is about to collapse, and if it does, I am heading to the mountains with a few other people I know. I can't stand the
9-5 corporate slave rat race to begin with. I sure as hell won't wait around to fall along with it. If you're the type of woman
who would even consider doing something like this, let me know. I'm very Godly and good man too. I would treat you the way
God wanted me to treat you. I think you would be perfect for me. But if this doesn't sound like your cup o' tea, then good luck
surviving when the riots break out in every city in America (including yours). PEACE! !!!!


like REALLY dude?! so scaring me about where the world's headed will make me what? swoon? give me a break lol. COMPLETE turn off.

 

[mischka]

He's joking! I think it's cute

 

[manter26]

Do you think its corny to "wink" at a guy.
I recently activated my OKcupid profile and saw a able
dude. I just want to see if he'll take the bait...

He fits most of my criteria.

I've seen some guys say in their profile that they don't like winks. I've gotten some decent responses from a simple "hi, how are you?" if I can't think of anything else to say.

He's joking! I think it's cute

Yea, it's cute to me too. I would take it as a joke and ask him if perchance zombies are involved in this end of world scenario. If he's not joking then I would just sound as foolish as him.

 

[Victorian]

..........

 

[manter26]

All your guys stories are so funny. I wanted to try online dating (mostly for the free food ) but I just felt it was weird. Did any of you ever feel that way before you started?

Yep, I definitely thought it was weird. But I'm 26, tired of what I was doing and thought I should be at least dating around and enjoying my 20s. I've met one person IRL and have another date set up this weekend. I'm still keeping my eyes open for other guys I meet around town (I have my eye on one in particular), but being social can't hurt.

I think I've done a pretty good job vetting the guys I'm talking to and I always drive my own car and have my phone with me. My friends and sister know where I'm going and with whom, so beyond that I'm not too concerned.

I feel less weird now that I'm out dating and my friends are still sitting around just complaining about things.

OH MY GAWWWWDDDD!!!!! I just got back from my 4th date w/ this guy that I have been seeing. It's 4:30am here in Los Angeles, so I will come back in the afternoon to tell y'all about this sick Phucker.

AHeadOfCoils where's that story you promised?

 

[Victorian]

..........

 

[SqrpioQutie]

**Date Report**

i met this guy online a couple of months back and we had a friendly come/go type of communication working.... we seemed to enjoy talking to each other but never really connected.... so a couple of weeks ago he pops back up and tells me he'll be traveling this way to see his fam and friends and would like to take me out while he's down here... great!... we made tentative plans and then didn't talk for a week... well time came for the trip and he called as promised... we made plans for monday, but i had to postpone them because i had forgotten about some work i needed to do.... i suggested tuesday (since he was due to go back home on wednesday) so we decided to meet up near where he was staying and hang out.... we ended up at BWW and had a great time... the food was decent and we got caught up in playing Buzztime (i'm now the trivia QUEEN)... so much so that it was after 11 before i knew it and i had over an hour drive to make plus work in the morning.... but he and i had fun and even if it's not a love connection, i think he'll make a great friend (and i don't add friends easily)...

i just got home about 20 minutes ago - traffic was RIDICULOUS... made my slightly over an hour drive turn into 2.5 hours...

 

[SqrpioQutie]

one person sent me two messages... i wonder if he realizes it....

message 1:

Wow you are so beautiful. I am so determined to look beyond the surface. I think I just found what I was lloking for. In your profile you also seem so intelligent. It would be an honor to get to know you. I am not going to tell you that I am perfect or I can give you all of the finer things in life, but what I can offer you is a great friendship and maybe some love in the future. I can`t afford to spend alot of money, but what I can spend is quality time. What do you say? Would you like an honest friend? Let me know!

message 2:

I am Determined to look beyond the surface. When I saw your picture all I can say is wow!!!! You are extremely beautiful and the way you speak in you profile is so intelligent. I can`t belive you are single to be honest. I see you say that you are moving back to **** next year, but I was hoping just maybe I can get to know you a little better. And hopefully after awhile I can convince you to stay. Very seldom I can have a popportunity like this. I am just trying to capitalize on what might be the greatest thing that happend to me and on what others past up on. Now I am not trying to sound perfect, because I am far from perfect. What do you say? Would you like to get it a chance to get to know one another? Let me know. And once again you are absolutely gorgeous. Thanks for your time!