***Online Dating Support Thread***

I hate to get ahead of myself but I really like this guy that I've been talking to. We've been talking more or less everyday for the past three weeks (including when I was away on holiday) he is just showering me with attention but not in an annoying pestering way.

We met up for lunch today and spent most of the time giggling like two silly teenagers. We have a lot in common so our conversation was free flowing and easy. He is very kind, funny and gentle and lovely to look at; he strikes me as very honest and genuine too. Unfortunately, he's rather short, only a couple of inches taller than me and I do like a tall man, but his personality is just too nice for me to merely complain about his height. He sat there and stared at me for long periods telling me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to be with me at that moment and he thanked me for making him feel so happy. I'm not getting too caught up with him too soon though as the cynical side of me won't quite allow that. I'm hopeful though.
 
ive been talkin to this guy on pof for like 2 weeks now. and things are just moving SOOO slow. he's tall (6'1..i hope.. you know how they lie) hispanic, artist but has a real job (healthcare, just like me). seems real down to earth and cool. but he takes FOREVER to wb. like he would take 2-3 days. so of course i cant wb right away either. so iiiii have to in turn wait 2-3 days. so the result? a msg a week =/ i want to speed things up but be subtle about it. i mentioned in the past msg i sent him where i asked him how his weekend went "oh wow. i can't believe it's the weekend again already! a whole week past since our last msg? wow." but its either he ignored that or it went completely over his head bc he didnt even acknowledge it.

i think we can get on well but i'm beginning to lose interest. it's just taking entirely too long. any advice on how to speed up this process?
 
Nelli04 said:
lmaoo...how you have a pic of your little cousin and not yourself...

I don't trust that, with most phones having cameras, it should not be hard to take a pic and upload it loll

I just got a message asking me if i was a superhero what kind of power would i want lmao
Click to expand...

Ok...... as a sci-fi nerd, I think this superhero question is kind of HOT! :spinning:

What did you reply?
 
Lol some of these messages

Hello,
I must admit that I am extremely astonished to read your profile and can't believe such an
elegant stunning person like you will be here.
I believe your needs will be met, probably by myself.
Best regard.
Click to expand...

Really? :lol:

What should i do to make you crazy about me ?
Click to expand...

And some other smart alec wrote six paragraphs of prose. :look:
 
runwaydream said:
ive been talkin to this guy on pof for like 2 weeks now. and things are just moving SOOO slow. he's tall (6'1..i hope.. you know how they lie) hispanic, artist but has a real job (healthcare, just like me). seems real down to earth and cool. but he takes FOREVER to wb. like he would take 2-3 days. so of course i cant wb right away either. so iiiii have to in turn wait 2-3 days. so the result? a msg a week =/ i want to speed things up but be subtle about it. i mentioned in the past msg i sent him where i asked him how his weekend went "oh wow. i can't believe it's the weekend again already! a whole week past since our last msg? wow." but its either he ignored that or it went completely over his head bc he didnt even acknowledge it.

i think we can get on well but i'm beginning to lose interest. it's just taking entirely too long. any advice on how to speed up this process?
Click to expand...

I would hang it up. When it takes me days to respond to guys it's because I'm not REALLY interested. And from here on out, I'm straight up telling guys, I need a lot of attention and I'm not interested in being coy about that. So if you wanna "play it cool" and "play hard to get," I quit. I'm doing no more chasing, nothing even near it.
 
CurliDiva said:
Ok...... as a sci-fi nerd, I think this superhero question is kind of HOT! :spinning:

What did you reply?
Click to expand...

I didn't reply lol...he didn't even say Hi, he just asked that question lol

I've been getting a lot of odd questions lately...glad I didn't put my real location and name.
 
I don't get this...

Salutations
My name is Nic
I am afraid of bikes, stalwart, and colorblind.
That's a lie, I'm not colorblind. It was the first three syllable adjective that came to mind.
Please forgive me.

he must be a troll...
 
mischka said:
I would hang it up. When it takes me days to respond to guys it's because I'm not REALLY interested. And from here on out, I'm straight up telling guys, I need a lot of attention and I'm not interested in being coy about that. So if you wanna "play it cool" and "play hard to get," I quit. I'm doing no more chasing, nothing even near it.
Click to expand...


Totally concur. Just today I had a bit of a run in with this guy who I contacted offline. After a while our conversation started to dry up then I didn't hear from him,so I just shrugged my shoulders and forgot about him. Then out of the blue today he sends me a text today to ask if I wasn't interested! Huh? I told him in the beginning that if I didn't hear back from him then he wouldn't hear from me. He started getting annoyed trying to make out like it was my fault that our communication ended. I just told him bye, I haven't got time for pathetic whining. :rolleyes:
 
Hey guys I'm new to online dating. I just met a guy about 1week and half ago. He seems really cool. We have webcamed and I have his home and cellphone number. However, I'm not sure if he is just toying with me. He has made his sexual advances pretty clear in the beginning, however he is talking about wanting to have a serious relationship. We talk everyday, but not a lot as I would like. Since meeting online, he has been begging me to visit him. When I asked were I would stay, he said his home. I live in Atlanta and he lives in Richmond, VA. Should I not meet him, or take him serious when he said he would like to date me?

Thanks!
 
^^I think if you were to meet him, as in going to VA...you should stay in a hotel.
I get the impression he may just want to sleep with you, so be careful.
 
Nelli04 said:
I don't get this...

Salutations
My name is Nic
I am afraid of bikes, stalwart, and colorblind.
That's a lie, I'm not colorblind. It was the first three syllable adjective that came to mind.
Please forgive me.

he must be a troll...
Click to expand...

:lol: you are getting some REALLY weird ones! is this okc or pof?
 
geishagrrl24 said:
Hey guys I'm new to online dating. I just met a guy about 1week and half ago. He seems really cool. We have webcamed and I have his home and cellphone number. However, I'm not sure if he is just toying with me. He has made his sexual advances pretty clear in the beginning, however he is talking about wanting to have a serious relationship. We talk everyday, but not a lot as I would like. Since meeting online, he has been begging me to visit him. When I asked were I would stay, he said his home. I live in Atlanta and he lives in Richmond, VA. Should I not meet him, or take him serious when he said he would like to date me?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

i live in (well right outside of) richmond, and i know how a lot of these dudes operate... do NOT stay at his house until you really know what you're walking into.... if you're going to meet up with him up here and he's the only reason, then he needs to not only foot the travel bill but also pony up a hotel room.. there are plenty of nice ones....

but after a week and a half?... i wouldn't take him seriously... especially if he's talking sex from the jump....

i almost want to ask which site and screenname so i can see if it's someone i can give you more insight on... but that would be sorta rude of me to ask.... lol

tread carefully....
 
geishagrrl24 said:
Hey guys I'm new to online dating. I just met a guy about 1week and half ago. He seems really cool. We have webcamed and I have his home and cellphone number. However, I'm not sure if he is just toying with me. He has made his sexual advances pretty clear in the beginning, however he is talking about wanting to have a serious relationship. We talk everyday, but not a lot as I would like. Since meeting online, he has been begging me to visit him. When I asked were I would stay, he said his home. I live in Atlanta and he lives in Richmond, VA. Should I not meet him, or take him serious when he said he would like to date me?

Thanks!
Click to expand...


Seriously?:perplexed Read that again and tell me if this is someone you'd willingly take time out of your schedule to visit.

He made his sexual advances clear in a week's time, he wants sex and probably nothing more from you. I highly doubt you'll hear from him again if you visit him, have sex with him and fly back home. The conversations will dry up faster than a thirsty person in the Sahara desert.

If he really wants to get to know you why can't he be the one to take time out to come see you? Serious men put serious actions behind their words. This one sounds like a flake to me:look:

No bueno, don't fall for it, i've seen this play way too many times:look:
 
geishagrrl24 said:
Hey guys I'm new to online dating. I just met a guy about 1week and half ago. He seems really cool. We have webcamed and I have his home and cellphone number. However, I'm not sure if he is just toying with me. He has made his sexual advances pretty clear in the beginning, however he is talking about wanting to have a serious relationship. We talk everyday, but not a lot as I would like. Since meeting online, he has been begging me to visit him. When I asked were I would stay, he said his home. I live in Atlanta and he lives in Richmond, VA. Should I not meet him, or take him serious when he said he would like to date me?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but it just sounds like he wants the buns and thats it so do not fall for it. I would not be willing to fly to another state to meet someone I only met on a dating site a week and a half ago. For one it's too far what are guys going to have a LDR? No one searches for those they just happen. Me personally I have my search for only 20 miles from where I live. I needs lots of attention so I'm not trying to do too much traveling to see anyone. I would decline and if he wanted to remain cool then that's all it would be.
 
so i very rarely check my yahoo mail... come to find out, this stalker crazy dude has been sending emails to my yahoo account all week to cuss me out... now mind you, we "met" one day, chatted briefly off the site via yahoo the next day and the second day, he declared that he wasn't "comfy" with me because i wasn't warm and friendly (in his estimation) and was a "typical black woman with high blood pressure and high cholesterol" (he's white, my blood pressure is low to normal, and my cholesterol is fine).... he also got pissed bc i basically told him that he can't police the food i eat (he took great exception to the fact that i like cheesesteaks and wasn't a fan of water) and i had no intentions of being lectured like a 5 year old.....

so a few minutes ago i noticed an email indicator from a weird address that i thought was spam, but something told me to check it out.... since 6/26, this fool has been sending these vile emails to me to, i guess, put me in check (but i didn't know until today).... i let my inner teenager out to respond to his last email (where he called me a fat (c-word) and stated i should stay single forever)... mind you, he's never seen anything other than the pictures that he saw when he first contacted me to tell me how "gorgeous" he thought i was... i, in turn, told him he was a pathetic (p-word), to go finish crying in his wheat germ and leave me the hell alone... and then i blocked him from emailing me.....

i hate when i allow people to take me out of my element.... jerk... he wasn't even cute for all that drama.... and THIS is why i have a hard time with dating "out"....
 
SqrpioQutie said:
so i very rarely check my yahoo mail... come to find out, this stalker crazy dude has been sending emails to my yahoo account all week to cuss me out... now mind you, we "met" one day, chatted briefly off the site via yahoo the next day and the second day, he declared that he wasn't "comfy" with me because i wasn't warm and friendly (in his estimation) and was a "typical black woman with high blood pressure and high cholesterol" (he's white, my blood pressure is low to normal, and my cholesterol is fine).... he also got pissed bc i basically told him that he can't police the food i eat (he took great exception to the fact that i like cheesesteaks and wasn't a fan of water) and i had no intentions of being lectured like a 5 year old.....

so a few minutes ago i noticed an email indicator from a weird address that i thought was spam, but something told me to check it out.... since 6/26, this fool has been sending these vile emails to me to, i guess, put me in check (but i didn't know until today).... i let my inner teenager out to respond to his last email (where he called me a fat (c-word) and stated i should stay single forever)... mind you, he's never seen anything other than the pictures that he saw when he first contacted me to tell me how "gorgeous" he thought i was... i, in turn, told him he was a pathetic (p-word), to go finish crying in his wheat germ and leave me the hell alone... and then i blocked him from emailing me.....

i hate when i allow people to take me out of my element.... jerk... he wasn't even cute for all that drama.... and THIS is why i have a hard time with dating "out"....
Click to expand...

Not to minimize what you've been through but he seriously sounds like a nut job. I highly doubt him being a nut job has anything to do with him being white or non black.

I work around a TON of white men on a daily basis. I have several as friends, i've hung out and casually dated a few in my past and I have NEVER, not once encountered such treatment from them.

Take each non-black man as he comes....as an individual...one may be a nut-job and the other a complete sweetheart. You just never know...:yep:

My best advise is to keep an open mind and don't go in with wrong/negative thinking because you truly attract what you believe in :)
 
Etherealsmile said:
Not to minimize what you've been through but he seriously sounds like a nut job. I highly doubt him being a nut job has anything to do with him being white or non black.

I work around a TON of white men on a daily basis. I have several as friends, i've hung out and casually dated a few in my past and I have NEVER, not once encountered such treatment from them.

Take each non-black man as he comes....as an individual...one may be a nut-job and the other a complete sweetheart. You just never know...:yep:

My best advise is to keep an open mind and don't go in with wrong/negative thinking because you truly attract what you believe in :)
Click to expand...

i completely feel that and he was definitely an extreme... but he's not the first.... and i feel that it i'm going to step out of my comfort zone, then it won't do to do it with men who try to make me feel inferior or cut me down in any way.... and most of the non-black men who i've taken the opportunity to get to know have pulled out some version of these tendencies along the way.... makes it harder than it has to be....

i'll also say that i have a habit of attracting crazy black dudes too, so i don't attribute crazy to just one race.....

i know that there are great non-black men out there... but i don't happen to meet them.... lol

ETA: JUST got an instant message from another dude... his leadoff line of questioning - "are you still in bed", "what would i notice about you right now?", "your legs maybe?", "*Smack*", "i woke up aggressive this morning".... i asked him if this was his attempt at sexual based conversation... he says yes.... i block him..... no respect....
 
Last edited:
Thank you guys so much for you advise. I told him I wasn't coming. He is from afroromance. this is what he emailed me: classic:
its time to meet in person... from all your emails... and all we have talked so far on phone and IM...

His response:

I DO NOT THINK YOU WILL MEET IN PERSON... I dont think there is a 0 chance of you coming .. even after you said you boooked the flight... i said to myself.. she will cancel lol there is no way she will come... SOOOOOOOOOO i want to meet in person and go from there.. I dont want to keep talking on the phone and spending time and getting to know someone THAT WILL NOT MEET ME IN PERSON ... when u started sending me those long emails about how you felt about this whole thing i knew right then and there you would not meet... so forgive me if i dont want to spend more time on phone and chatting when i know in the end you wont meeet me lol.. comprenday ?? i want to meet you bad but i know no matter what i say YOU AINT COMMMING

my face I was like whatever lol
 
HE should be trying to MEET YOU in person since he's so hung up on it... tell him to go to hell, hes transparent.
 
I know...thanks you guys...this is what I sent him

ME:
your right because I can't come due to my work constraints. Dude seriously, If you REALLY want to meet me, hop in your car and come down to atlanta next weekend. I can't fly nor drive on the weekends. So let me know if you can come down next weekend. OH since you already took off the day I was supposed to come visit you....just come on down.


His Response:
lol how smart am I ? :-) you have to give me credit that i had u pegged though :-)

I just lol'ed and told him please. He's so dumb anyway. I have his phone and cellphone number and knows his work address and he's on my FB, he know's nothing about me really.

Well back to the drawing board. It's so hard to meet a decent guy 8/
 
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