***Online Dating Support Thread***

CaraWalker said:
question: do you notice messages from black guys all sorta say the same thing... "my name is bob and i would like to get to know you better if thats ok with you..."

always some variation of "i would like to get to know you better" :look: :lol:
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EuTXcku.jpg


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
sj10460 said:
So, my okc account is still active which I totally forgot I made eons ago. Anyway this is what I got today:

Hello.
How are you? Are you all right?
I beg you to give me one minute of attention and I'll explain everything to you.
I first get acquainted through the Internet, and this is very much worried and did not know what to write to you.
Not long ago I live near you. We are neighbors.
I often see you on the street. And I really like you.
I'm a shy person and always too shy to come up and meet you.
Hesitation over how I have came up with the idea to record your video and show it to you.
I ask you to give me one minute of attention and see the video that was made for you.
In this video I talk about myself and my feelings for you.
I think that after you see this video you immediately recognize me.

This is really scary and not sure what I should do. It's a few weeks old as I don't check the account. I noticed it because I received an identical email sent to the email address I used to register that profile (one I seldom check)
Click to expand...

Save these messages. God forbid, but if this creep starts stalking you, you'll want evidence.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using LHCF
 
Keshieshimmer said:
They guy with the smile and plaid looks cute!
Click to expand...
he sent me the same copy and paste message like a week later.

the thing that mildly annoys me is its putting all the effort on me to strike up a conversation. if all the messages just say "my name is blank and you seem blank and i would like to get to know you" what do i say to that? i have to admit that wouldnt bother me as much if it wasnt such a consistent pattern. i could make the effort if i really wanted to but every single time? annoying.
 
What type and how many pictures do you ladies have on your profiles?

On my old OKC profile I had zero selfies, more solo shots but 1 or 2 with some friends in the pic as well, one candid and one full body. All were non-professional and pretty casual but not all my best pics facially.

I def want a new set of pictures when I sign back on in Jan and I'm wondering whether I should invest in nicer pics since I find that pics are 90% of online dating, esp for men. Thoughts?
 
i have a mix of pictures. i think the key is to have pictures that look "cool" not necessarily matters what kind they are. i know i almost always look at a guys profile if his default photo is interesting. instagram does make things look a lot better than they are tbh. i tried to strike a good tone of somewhat artsy and cool and aloof and its doing better than my previous attempts of choosing photos based on "cute" "approachable" "visible" whatever.
 
So, I decided to sign up for OKCuupid and one of the first messages I got was...why do you have only one picture and that was in broken English...SMH
 
so obnoxious

I crave what the poet Richard Siken wrote of in “Crush.”
But I understand that love is sometimes more like “you fit into me” by Margaret Atwood.

James Bond is my mentor and The Most Interesting Man in the World is my life coach. A modern day Arthur Rimbaud, if you will.

Recently my best friend paid me this compliment: “you navigate seamlessly between fun and serious, sensual and sexual, romantic and raunchy”. You can get a grasp of what I’m like from my friends prospective from this quote, and the “raunchy” part I hope is more about my sense of humor. Lol.
Click to expand...
 
sweetvi Oh my goodness. Ive read that post before!!! Is this guy Puerto Rican..

@CaraWalker
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no hes like middle eastern. this was his profile, not his message. he hasnt messaged me, just visits my profile two or three times a day :lol: i finally got annoyed and hid him.

the latest two guys i am tentatively scheduling with are already talking about the second date if the first goes well. one guy i dont really like because he insists on talking to me every single day and i dont like to chat this much before meeting. anyway, this leads me to believe its my job to hang back on the date rather than think i have to make any efforts to make myself likeable. for awhile now ive been a little bothered by my tendency on dates to go out of my way to be friendly and nice, and have been wanting to stop that. time to start trying to put that plan in action.
 
i like the brief preview emails you get when you get a new message

how you doing gorgeous my name is Tony and I really like what I see I want to know what do it... (read more)
Click to expand...

not even logging in for that :lol:
 
You ask me to your company holiday party. I agree. You don't know the exact dress code but tell me semi formal/formal I pull out a dress and throw it on. Then you tell me you are at the venue and to meet you there


My people watcher makes me want to go

My low bs tolerance makes me want to unzip this dress and watch shark tank

should I go or nah
 
PretteePlease said:
You ask me to your company holiday party. I agree. You don't know the exact dress code but tell me semi formal/formal I pull out a dress and throw it on. Then you tell me you are at the venue and to meet you there

My people watcher makes me want to go

My low bs tolerance makes me want to unzip this dress and watch shark tank

should I go or nah
Click to expand...

The answer to this is 100% dependent on the contents of your cupboards and refrigerator divided by the distance to the venue.
 
So glad I went :woot: I had a great time

I ate nothing and only had 1 glass of wine but the people watching was amazing. I tried to record the drunk lady on the steps with her shoes off :lachen: I love open bar folk forget they have to go back to work on monday
 
my ex's ex allowed herself to show up in my okcupid visitors today. *****, have you no dignity? that's what your stalker profile is for! why are you WILLINGLY showing up in the visitors of my profile?

so here's all the ways yous a corny *****: you don't list your ethnicity (even though you're about 50 shades of black)

you dont list your income (because you have no job)

you dont list whether you do drugs (because you probably do drugs)

you dont list what type of relationship youre looking for (because you will probably accept whatever relationship people are willing to offer you)

and your over the top profile is clearly geared to encourage men who only want to use you sexually to message you (talking about B.O.B.s and the first thing men notice about you is your breasts, girl, have you ever dated a man before?)

im so annoyed that this is the follow up my ex dated right after me. and on a larger scale i'm tired of plus sized black women crafting this "quirky" "weird" "nerdy" persona designed to attract white guys that look like they work in tech support (TM the OT forum :lol:) just to separate yourself from blackness in general. im just SO offended that she even exists in the same orbit as i do! and visiting my profile makes me feel entitled to make these observations, because i have walked away from this situation and don't appreciate you popping up in it once again.

just want to reiterate how much it bothers me when black people, or people of color generally, don't list their ethnicity :rolleyes: corniest **** ever
 
Well here is my recent try at POF just to see and to give online another chance--because basically I'm not meeting anyone in public. So yea after a week I've hid my profile completely and then spoke to over 50 different men. Had a block one fool and some were VERY close to being blocked. The thirst level is real. Men think they can't be Thot's well come on POF and they are thirsty.

I finally broke down and took the chance on two guys that gave me there numbers. #1 didn't never call or reply to my text. So hes out. Then #2 is from Florida, attended FAMU and FSU for grad, a engineer, lives in ATL, dark skinned, and a Que. First turn off was he copped a attitude because we were playing phone tag, then he was cursing like a sailor, oh and then he says he doesn't need to be on a dating website because he meets women with no problem and that he just joined to network(HMPH) then why are you on POF and not on LinkedIn then. Then he gave me a name of CJ. I've had bad experiences with a dude that just gave me his so called nickname and not his entire name earlier this year. So I asked him what his first name. I specifically told him that I work a part time gig so last night he calls. After all those above things I didn't feel like hearing his voice last night so I ignored the call. He calls this morning copping an attitude and talking about oh so he didn't answer my call last night blah blah. I'm sorry its too early in the morning for your attitude and after that I blocked him on POF and added him on my phone reject list.

I'm really close to just shutting it down and deleting my page.

Anyone has any suggestions of any better websites? I've tried Match and POF mostly. I heard bad things about Blackpeoplemeet. I know my girlfriend was doing Tinder.
 
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