***Online Dating Support Thread***

I should have joined this thread sooner... I am more than a year out from my divorce. Took some time to heal and refocus myself- relocate, start grad school- been busy. I have had profiles up on the sites (POF, OKC, Match) for a year or so now.... met people in passing, didn't amount to anything. Was starting to give up and start focusing on growing my hair and studying for my CPA license and out of the blue this guy contacted me on OKCupid yesterday.

Active Duty Marine, stationed in Quantico - I have a thing for men in uniform :love3: Educated, grew up in the South. 30. Handsome. Good values. We had great conversation about our families and upbringing. Doesn't have any kids (wants to get married first) and he says he is at the point of wanting to settle down. Not as tall as I would like him to be - I like heights 5'9+ and he is 5'7, but I would rather have a short man that treats me good than a tall man who gives me sh!t.
Our first meeting was yesterday. Met at TGIF for a drink. Had great chemistry. Was a polite gentleman and we hugged good bye. He drove 1.5 hours back to Quantico (I am pretty far from him) and I stayed up most of his drive to talk to him on the phone. I don't remember when was the last time I willingly stayed up past midnight chatting with someone knowing that I have to be to work in the morning.....

So I am smitten and he seems that way too. Gonna let things play out how they will. Not sure I am ready to get into a relationship yet but I like him so I am going to let him control our speed.
 
What's with these fools that clearly and deliberately omit black women on the list of races they're interested in but stay emailing me?? I usually ignore these dudes but I finally called one out on this :rolleyes:

image-300908228.jpg
 
Sooooooo things didn't work out w my last boo (insert semi sad face), so I figured I'd give online another go around.. Is it wrong I'm trying to secure a vday date??

I went on Pof last night...had like 150+ messages...how can there be so many guys but only like 5 who seem interesting. Maybe I'm too picky :(
 
fitchick said:
What's with these fools that clearly and deliberately omit black women on the list of races they're interested in but stay emailing me?? I usually ignore these dudes but I finally called one out on this :rolleyes:
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I really hate that. A lot of the guys who message me and/or visit my profile multiple times have their preferences to include EVERY race/ethnicity but black women. Those messages go unanswered every single time.
 
pearlific1 said:
I really hate that. A lot of the guys who message me and/or visit my profile multiple times have their preferences to include EVERY race/ethnicity but black women. Those messages go unanswered every single time.
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Hah like this guy. He's sent me multiple messages and looks at my page at least a few times a week. He got the nerve to even check Native American and Pacific Islander :lol: like 0.2% of NYC but you stay messaging a black girl??? Bye Felipe.

image-3525016079.jpg
 
it is extremely insulting to deliberately exclude black women in new york of all places. i hope youre ignoring all of those ****ers.
 
movingforward13 said:
So I am smitten and he seems that way too. Gonna let things play out how they will. Not sure I am ready to get into a relationship yet but I like him so I am going to let him control our speed.
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From the other thread -
"Had another date last night.... I really like this guy. He seems to have his head on straight and he has a lot of positive male role models. We went out to eat and had a great time talking- just amazing. I learned a lot about him and slavery (he was telling me where his family was from/history). He is very socially aware and just smart. We kissed for the first time last night and it was nice.

I didn't think I would ever feel like this again. After my ex and learning about relationship cycles, I figured my innocence was gone. I constantly see red flags now with every guy I come into contact with and I pay attention. I figured I would be single for the rest of my life because I was that scarred. Now I am thinking there is a chance."

So, Marine Guy and I took down our profiles and decided to focus on one another dating wise (exclusive). I only date one person at a time any way - too busy to be casual. I look forward to talking to him everyday and just being around him. I know this is still the "infatuation" phase but I really like this guy and I believe this can go very far.
 
My goal is to get a roster of 5 potentials to date from online in hopes that 1 will develop into something serious..so far I have my possibles lol...tryna see who I'm gonna meet tomo....le sigh...ready to be done with dating.
 
I decided to log back onto OKCupid and this is the message I got in my inbox. It would have been an interesting message if i didn't seem so generic.Decided to ignore it.

Message:

Hi, I hope you are well.

Statistically you are my highest match in the world for the following reasons:

1. We have a high 95% match and 0% enemy scores
2. The age difference of 4 years, with the man being older than the female is statically the most successful relationships.
3. The height difference of 1.09, with the man is taller than the female also correlates to the highest probability of success.

The only issue I see is the 18154km distance between us! haha :)
 
ima just let my inbox stay full cause its way too many gremlins creeping in it right now tf is going on with this

did my profile lose some cool points or something cause i dont understand why i am apparently a frequent visitation spot for the type of guys who have been sending me messages lately :barf:
 
So a close guy friend of mine told me he is engaged... He is one of the good guys. We tried dating when we first met... didn't work out. I always hoped it would come back around--- it didn't. I was shocked when he announced his engagement. After our conversation, I had tears in my eyes. Not because I want him but because I didn't imagine my life would have went the way it has.

Spoke to Marine Guy about it (not in detail about my feelings) and he was able to perk my mood up. I really like this guy... Wish I had a crystal ball to see if this is the guy I am waiting for.
 
So I have been talking to Marine Guy about my hair. Right now my hair is in Senegalese twist hair extensions but I will be taking it out and wearing my own hair. I am feeling some anxiety about it. I haven't worn my own hair in so long and I don't think I will be as beautiful without the long tresses (that is an inside issue I am dealing with). We ended up having a long discussion about black women and our hair and he made me feel better. He said he would help me wash/condition my hair if I wanted and that I will still look good- long hair or nah :lol:
He made me feel so good and after all the research I have done on growing 4c hair - I am ready to take the twists out and get started on a hair care regiment. I am at this point where I no longer want to look Beyoncé-fied to impress anyone. I am in an area (DC) that embraces natural hair and I am secure with my job for the foreseeable future. Time to let my hair grow as wild as it wants to be.
 
CaraWalker said:
:cheers:

yes ma'am! TELL EM!

i got a message from a guy yesterday, 93% match 0% enemy. i was tempted to reply "lets not waste time with messages and just get this going already" :lol: but the messages are good. hope theres potentialllllllllllllll :drunk:
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:lol::lol::lol::lol: Fingers crossed for you.
 
I'm losing count of the no. Of dates i have agreed to this weekend. And real names. How do you guys do this for so long, I can only do it a week at a time before deleting my profile. Not deleting till I have a steady SO is my new goal!
 
ivyness said:
I'm losing count of the no. Of dates i have agreed to this weekend. And real names. How do you guys do this for so long, I can only do it a week at a time before deleting my profile. Not deleting till I have a steady SO is my new goal!
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Lol get organized...use a calendar if you need to :lol:
 
I have a long one lmao.

I am currently in a relationship but I wasnt last month :look:

So I met this guy on OKC he was cool, we facetimed daily and eventually hung out a couple times. He was attractive but there was something kind of off about him. On one date I was tipsy and somehow I ended up going home with him :rolleyes:

I get to his house and he has a dog that has FREE REIGN over his apartment. I am allergic to dogs so I say I cant stay here. But instead of going home we went to the store to get benadryl. They only had the childrens kind and the store clerk or whatever said it might not work :spinning:

So in my wisdom I took more than the suggested dosage.

While in the store my date greeted some weird thug looking guy and the guy asked him if he needed to be walked home :rolleyes: I asked said "why would he ask you that?" He claims that the guy wanted to make sure he got home safely :lachen: weird

We get back to his building and start kissing. 5 minutes into it I start FALLING ASLEEP :nono: I roofied myself with the damn benadryl. I stop him from kissing and touching me and fall asleep at this man house. I didnt wake up until about 9:30 the next morning and I was furious. I was wearing all black and covered from eyelash to toenail in DOGHAIR :perplexed:

He calls me a cab and I go home. He texted me like a week later talking some nonsense about how much he likes me and how I dont like him....I say really? So why did it take you a week to text me? He says he had a death in his family. I offer him my condolences and he says "yea, my family computer died" :drunk: I said "you know what, you are right...I dont like you." He texted some other crap that I ignored and I deleted his number.

Fast forward to last week he textes me that I should come over and I text back that I am allergic. He says I should invite him over sometime. I ignore him.


So yesterday my bff textes me his IG name and asks me if its the same guy I told her about. I confirm that it is. She tells me that he has been dming her. I was like oh makes sense, he has been on my ig liking pics, he must have saw you ig in the bday shout out collage I did of us. We agree hes an idiot and thats that.

Just now I get a text from him saying that I sh*tted on him and me and my pretty friend stopped following him on the same day and that he has been nothing but nice to me. I say lol I didnt tell her I unfollowed you and I didnt tell her to unfollow you but what did you expect?

He was mad that I blocked him and said I was messed up for not putting in a good word for him :lachen: . I loled again and told him he was dumb but i would let her know how he felt. He told be not to bother and wished me a goodnight and I responded with a kissy face and a peace sign.

I know I should have blocked him from my phone but I like the amusement sometimes
 
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he sounds a mess!:lachen: but because of this part i thought the story would end with him being some sort of dl homothug.:look:

shespoison said:
While in the store my date greeted some weird thug looking guy and the guy asked him if he needed to be walked home :rolleyes: I asked said "why would he ask you that?" He claims that the guy wanted to make sure he got home safely :lachen: weird
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Well my "date" was not a homothug...He is kinda hippie-ish and just plain gay/bi. I didnt fully think about it until I was home and sober the next day.

I need not to drink bcuz I am already a fool sober.

Oasis said:
he sounds a mess!:lachen: but because of this part i thought the story would end with him being some sort of dl homothug.:look:
Click to expand...
 
shespoison said:
I have a long one lmao. I am currently in a relationship but I wasnt last month :look: So I met this guy on OKC he was cool, we facetimed daily and eventually hung out a couple times. He was attractive but there was something kind of off about him. On one date I was tipsy and somehow I ended up going home with him :rolleyes: I get to his house and he has a dog that has FREE REIGN over his apartment. I am allergic to dogs so I say I cant stay here. But instead of going home we went to the store to get benadryl. They only had the childrens kind and the store clerk or whatever said it might not work :spinning: So in my wisdom I took more than the suggested dosage. While in the store my date greeted some weird thug looking guy and the guy asked him if he needed to be walked home :rolleyes: I asked said "why would he ask you that?" He claims that the guy wanted to make sure he got home safely :lachen: weird We get back to his building and start kissing. 5 minutes into it I start FALLING ASLEEP :nono: I roofied myself with the damn benadryl. I stop him from kissing and touching me and fall asleep at this man house. I didnt wake up until about 9:30 the next morning and I was furious. I was wearing all black and covered from eyelash to toenail in DOGHAIR :perplexed: He calls me a cab and I go home. He texted me like a week later talking some nonsense about how much he likes me and how I dont like him....I say really? So why did it take you a week to text me? He says he had a death in his family. I offer him my condolences and he says "yea, my family computer died" :drunk: I said "you know what, you are right...I dont like you." He texted some other crap that I ignored and I deleted his number. Fast forward to last week he textes me that I should come over and I text back that I am allergic. He says I should invite him over sometime. I ignore him. So yesterday my bff textes me his IG name and asks me if its the same guy I told her about. I confirm that it is. She tells me that he has been dming her. I was like oh makes sense, he has been on my ig liking pics, he must have saw you ig in the bday shout out collage I did of us. We agree hes an idiot and thats that. Just now I get a text from him saying that I sh*tted on him and me and my pretty friend stopped following him on the same day and that he has been nothing but nice to me. I say lol I didnt tell her I unfollowed you and I didnt tell her to unfollow you but what did you expect? He was mad that I blocked him and said I was messed up for not putting in a good word for him :lachen: . I loled again and told him he was dumb but i would let her know how he felt. He told be not to bother and wished me a goodnight and I responded with a kissy face and a peace sign. I know I should have blocked him from my phone but I like the amusement sometimes
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cackling! :rofl:
 
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