***Online Dating Support Thread***

debating implementing a strategy where i just obnoxiously view a guys profile over and over until he gives in and offers to sleep with me :rofl:
 
me? no. i only messaged him first because he was literally taking YEARS to message me. he liked my profile a million years ago, played profile tag for years, and when i took the pictures off my page, added me on instagram. like obviously you are interested, or just a stalker, why do you not say hello? maybe he was waiting for me :lol:
 
this guy wants to move to the same area that i do and his lease is up at the same time as mine. is it too forward to let him know we better get this **** together so that we can move in in a couple of months? i dont mind being a real estate bride.
 
lilpopers said:
Do you ever message first?
Click to expand...

I came in to post this very question!

To answer it myself, I don't. Even in my profile it states that I won't "because my father taught me that a real man goes for what he wants." I also think that of a man doesn't message, he could already be in a relationship or married and is just using his profile as a way of cheating. I had a girlfriend message me before and his account was deleted. I'll "like" his profile as bait and that's it. Anyone who's not man enough in that aspect couldn't handle me anyway.
 
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lilpopers said:
Do you ever message first?
Click to expand...

I messaged first to all the men I ended up going out with. The main reason was my supposed matches were horrid. I got all kinds of subpar messages. I decided to search on my own and message whoever I found interesting. All I had to do was send the initial email and they did the rest.

One of those men is my now fiancé. In fact all the men that I went out with were pretty much quality men...just not the guy for me.
 
crimsonpeach said:
I messaged first to all the men I ended up going out with. The main reason was my supposed matches were horrid. I got all kinds of subpar messages. I decided to search on my own and message whoever I found interesting. All I had to do was send the initial email and they did the rest.

One of those men is my now fiancé. In fact all the men that I went out with were pretty much quality men...just not the guy for me.
Click to expand...

In conclusion, different strokes for different folks. Maybe I'll message first a couple of times to see how it goes. But on okc. Not tinder because you both see who you're matched with. There's no "lag".

crimsonpeach What did you say as the initial message? Can I get some sentence starters? :lol:
 
[crimsonpeach What did you say as the initial message? Can I get some sentence starters? :lol:[/QUOTE]

I always incorporated whatever it was in their profile that caught my interest. If they mentioned a liking for craft beer, I would begin with something along the lines of "I can a bit of a beer snob myself; have you been to such and such bar? It has an incredible beer list".

One guy was a fan of a rival football team and I opened with "Despite your obviously unfortunate choice in team allegiances, your profile caught my interest because of x, y, z."

You'll be amazed by how often people just email random generic stuff. I was always complimented on actually reading their profile.
 
been talking to a guy for a few days. went to his profile to admire how cute he is again and he took down all his pics :lol: omg :lol: put your pics back up. you can still talk to other girls :lol: omg
 
i feel like i posted this already but:
a month or so ago this guy on okcupid asked me out. we scheduled the date and then i texted him to confirm the night when we were going to meet and he ignored me. so i crossed him off my list. a couple of days later he messaged me and i didnt even read what it said, was just like "im not going to do this ok bye."

he went away for awhile then a week or so later messaged again saying "im so sorry let me make it up to you!" i said ok but whenever he asked me out again i never agreed to go :look: :lol: i completely have no intention of hanging out with him because you dont flake on me and still think you'll get to go out with me. youve already shown your *** when you should have been focusing on making a good impression, DUH, DUMMY.

he texted me today and asked if i wanted to grab a beer and watch the patriots game. i wonder if he's going to realise eventually that he messed up and isn't getting a second chance.
 
Why did I just get this message???
Hi I'm Sebastian. I really like your profile.
I was wondering if you like foot massages.
I have a tendency to be submissive and I have a foot fetish I would love to give you a foot massage sometime. I am very skilled, and happy being told what to do/following instructions.
Thank You
Click to expand...
 
I just attract the most "interesting" guys. One told me that not only was he not attracted to me but he actually told me I was ugly, but he thought my p*ssy would be magnificent. And another guy offered to take me on a road trip. Yes, an actual road trip. Good ol' OKC.
 
whosthatcurl said:
I just attract the most "interesting" guys. One told me that not only was he not attracted to me but he actually told me I was ugly, but he thought my p*ssy would be magnificent. And another guy offered to take me on a road trip. Yes, an actual road trip. Good ol' OKC.
Click to expand...

The first guy must be following some pick up artist manual. They practice a technique where you make a negative comment to knock the girl's confidence and then follow it up with a complement. Apparently after that you're supposed to fall in line with whatever the guy wants, as you feel lucky to have him and thankful he manages to overlook the major flaw that he pointed out to you.
 
im on the fence about this guy. the first thing was that i tend to like really book smart witty guys and he's coming across as average mentally. i know that you cant always tell how much depth a person has when you initially meet them just through text, so ive been putting that aside, even though it has the potential to be a big problem for me. normally the guys i get excited over i feel the potential for that kind of mental connection. "average" regular brains dont really excite me.

the other thing is i just found out yesterday he still "lives with family." :look: now i know in the current climate it can actually be smarter to save on bills by skipping that whole rent thing but that kind of turns me off. a huge part of the reason why i dont live at home is because its not conducive to this whole dating thing. he has a real job and says this is the first time hes ever felt financially secure enough to start taking these kinds of big steps, which i think is sensible. but it still really turns me off. you could have been living with roommates for some small amount of money just to be getting your adult on. i could tell he sort of panicked defensively and started talking about the new car he bought to make up for it, and that he is planning to move in early 2015.

so, even though he is really really really cute (A+ for being physically the type of guy i like to look at) i feel him shifting off the serious potential track. stuff like this are on my bare minimums list, and while i dont want to be discounting good dudes for flaws that are easily corrected, idk... im not really with the whole idea of "giving dudes a chance" and "working with them" either. id prefer them to come to the table with that crap together just as a general principle. and also i tend to have a problem of dating guys that i know dont meet one of my big criteria, and never intending for the relationship to get serious... but it ends up being a long term thing and they start to push for monogamy when im like "but i need someone who has this thing that you dont."

i am leaning toward doing that all over again :rolleyes: not dating him seriously but still dating him because erm a girls got needs...
 
So far I like new guy. When we were getting off the phone last night he asked me if there's anything I need from him and anything he can do to make me feel more secure .
 
oh my gosh I am the OP :lachen:

Thanks for contributing to this thread. I am overjoyed it has so many replies hopefully the contributions were able to help members stay safe!

Im going to start online dating again in the new year.

Maybe I can add a poll to the op about the websites where LHCF members have had the most success
 
So, my okc account is still active which I totally forgot I made eons ago. Anyway this is what I got today:

Hello.
How are you? Are you all right?
I beg you to give me one minute of attention and I'll explain everything to you.
I first get acquainted through the Internet, and this is very much worried and did not know what to write to you.
Not long ago I live near you. We are neighbors.
I often see you on the street. And I really like you.
I'm a shy person and always too shy to come up and meet you.
Hesitation over how I have came up with the idea to record your video and show it to you.
I ask you to give me one minute of attention and see the video that was made for you.
In this video I talk about myself and my feelings for you.
I think that after you see this video you immediately recognize me.

This is really scary and not sure what I should do. It's a few weeks old as I don't check the account. I noticed it because I received an identical email sent to the email address I used to register that profile (one I seldom check)
 
sj10460 said:
So, my okc account is still active which I totally forgot I made eons ago. Anyway this is what I got today:

Hello.
How are you? Are you all right?
I beg you to give me one minute of attention and I'll explain everything to you.
I first get acquainted through the Internet, and this is very much worried and did not know what to write to you.
Not long ago I live near you. We are neighbors.
I often see you on the street. And I really like you.
I'm a shy person and always too shy to come up and meet you.
Hesitation over how I have came up with the idea to record your video and show it to you.
I ask you to give me one minute of attention and see the video that was made for you.
In this video I talk about myself and my feelings for you.
I think that after you see this video you immediately recognize me.

This is really scary and not sure what I should do. It's a few weeks old as I don't check the account. I noticed it because I received an identical email sent to the email address I used to register that profile (one I seldom check)
Click to expand...

Please tell this to someone who knows you IRL like your bff. And be cautious.
I always tell my bff about creepy dudes. Ninjas will start making up ish in their heads and think it is real. Smh.

Eta: Like , wth???? Creepy as heck.
 
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I told my my bestie but he's over 200 miles away. I can't tell my family because of the whole online dating taboo, I don't want to have a conversation surrounding that. And I haven't told my dude because I don't know how to tell him. How would I even present this to him?
 
sj10460 said:
I told my my bestie but he's over 200 miles away. I can't tell my family because of the whole online dating taboo, I don't want to have a conversation surrounding that. And I haven't told my dude because I don't know how to tell him. How would I even present this to him?
Click to expand...

This is prob a virus and/or porn video/link. I wouldn't click on anything or respond if I were you
 
i have a few messages from guys id be interested in meeting. even still im too lazy to reply back. making a conversation out of nothing and then worrying they wont have the momentum to keep going either :look: :lol:

i am lacking the necessary excitement for this. if only i werent so fat right now.

YUCK. i really dont want to waste this winter (that i am otherwise happy with) putting everything off and whining about winter fat. time to get seriously about cutting calories. quickly... not opposed to a crash diet rn.
 
question: do you notice messages from black guys all sorta say the same thing... "my name is bob and i would like to get to know you better if thats ok with you..."

always some variation of "i would like to get to know you better" :look: :lol:
 
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