That was assault
***Online Dating Support Thread***
- Thread starter JollyGal
- Start date
That was assault
bluediamond0829
Well-Known Member
Okay so I'm pretty much completely done with online dating. I deleted both my match and my POF profiles. And for the very first time of deleting my match.
I wish every lady well in finding love with online dating but for the majority of the men that I've met online they have been either jerks, self absorbed, egotistical, and just plain idiots.
The last one that I finished up with was my date from last night with this guy from Memphis, TN has been living in ATL for over 15 years. On paper he seems to be good but something just doesn't sound right and add up. He's 45 single with no kids. A Accountant CPA at his fathers Accounting firm with a part time job with CNN. Works out, a homeowner, has rental property, seems good right. Wrong. So on Saturday he went to work at CNN that morning and then wanted to hang out with his alumni to watch the football game that evening. Okay but instead of him saying lets just catch a movie on Sunday. Um negative he wants to meet at 9 or 10 at night and I have this big thing about meeting people at certain times especially people if I don't know them well. So I cancelled it. So on Sunday he hits me up and invites me to dinner at his house. So I told him no, and thank you for the invite but I don't know you enough to come to your house and feel comfortable to be alone with you. I thought he was gone because I didn't hear from him on Monday. So Tuesday he hits me up about going to dinner on Thursday, even though I was feeling some type of way with the weekend, I said ok. So I met him last night and because of the traffic---he says that he would've came and got me and picked me up in his car. First if any of you have ever been to ATL its not the side roads and all but mostly highways---so WHY would I leave my car on the side of a road or in a parking lot for him to come pick me up---side eye and makes no sense. Then while we were eating he asks me what I'm doing on Saturday and I told him that I wasn't sure yet. He makes a big deal about being the 2nd option. Then after we finish dinner he says do you want to go riding around---we are in a highly congested traffic area, ive been in the area before, and he can't show me nothing I haven't already seen before----I'm like for what? Um No. Then he tries to get me to go with him to go get dessert so I knew that with all his crazy attempts from before he would suggest again me getting in his car. So I just shut that down right then. After that I notice that while we walking to my car that he would walk beside me and then he would keep somehow walking on the side of me but a couple steps behind like either he was checking me out or something. And then I have a big thing about a man being a man and checking at least by texting or calling to see if I made it home. Nope he just sent the text this morning. ---I'm done.
I told one of my married Frats about him and he was like whatever you do stay in a public place with him because he's trying to get you alone with him. I told him no worries about that because dude has given me enough red flags that Im real good.
I wish every lady well in finding love with online dating but for the majority of the men that I've met online they have been either jerks, self absorbed, egotistical, and just plain idiots.
The last one that I finished up with was my date from last night with this guy from Memphis, TN has been living in ATL for over 15 years. On paper he seems to be good but something just doesn't sound right and add up. He's 45 single with no kids. A Accountant CPA at his fathers Accounting firm with a part time job with CNN. Works out, a homeowner, has rental property, seems good right. Wrong. So on Saturday he went to work at CNN that morning and then wanted to hang out with his alumni to watch the football game that evening. Okay but instead of him saying lets just catch a movie on Sunday. Um negative he wants to meet at 9 or 10 at night and I have this big thing about meeting people at certain times especially people if I don't know them well. So I cancelled it. So on Sunday he hits me up and invites me to dinner at his house. So I told him no, and thank you for the invite but I don't know you enough to come to your house and feel comfortable to be alone with you. I thought he was gone because I didn't hear from him on Monday. So Tuesday he hits me up about going to dinner on Thursday, even though I was feeling some type of way with the weekend, I said ok. So I met him last night and because of the traffic---he says that he would've came and got me and picked me up in his car. First if any of you have ever been to ATL its not the side roads and all but mostly highways---so WHY would I leave my car on the side of a road or in a parking lot for him to come pick me up---side eye and makes no sense. Then while we were eating he asks me what I'm doing on Saturday and I told him that I wasn't sure yet. He makes a big deal about being the 2nd option. Then after we finish dinner he says do you want to go riding around---we are in a highly congested traffic area, ive been in the area before, and he can't show me nothing I haven't already seen before----I'm like for what? Um No. Then he tries to get me to go with him to go get dessert so I knew that with all his crazy attempts from before he would suggest again me getting in his car. So I just shut that down right then. After that I notice that while we walking to my car that he would walk beside me and then he would keep somehow walking on the side of me but a couple steps behind like either he was checking me out or something. And then I have a big thing about a man being a man and checking at least by texting or calling to see if I made it home. Nope he just sent the text this morning. ---I'm done.
I told one of my married Frats about him and he was like whatever you do stay in a public place with him because he's trying to get you alone with him. I told him no worries about that because dude has given me enough red flags that Im real good.
Last edited:
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
Why did this dude from Tinder hit me up this morning basically saying, "Here's my number. Call me if you want to hang out tonight." Mind you, I have not communicated with this man since August. I simply told him no thank you. Jeez! So many things wrong with that I don't even know where to start.
On another note, I'm supposed to meet this guy from OKCupid this weekend. I should be interested but I can't bring myself to get excited about him.
On another note, I'm supposed to meet this guy from OKCupid this weekend. I should be interested but I can't bring myself to get excited about him.
nono:
MamitaLolita
Well-Known Member
Trying okcupid again *sigh* trying to be open minded. If anything it'll help me move on with my life. In other news met a cute/nice guy at the rental office while apartment searching. He was too short for me 
but I am excited about moving there. Lots of Hispanic guys 
but I am excited about moving there. Lots of Hispanic guys 
BlackMarilyn
Well-Known Member
Online dating has gone to the dogs.
I don't know what kind of caliber men we have these days but it seems like we're left with dregs.
I don't know whether to remove my pof profile (yet again) or just leave it and see ("it only takes one" they tell me).
A bunch of lazy guys using the Meet Me section. Hardly anyone worthy messages anymore. Just a swipe (and click) mentality.
Feel so over it.
I don't know what kind of caliber men we have these days but it seems like we're left with dregs.
I don't know whether to remove my pof profile (yet again) or just leave it and see ("it only takes one" they tell me).
A bunch of lazy guys using the Meet Me section. Hardly anyone worthy messages anymore. Just a swipe (and click) mentality.
Feel so over it.
I'm on match.com and okcupid. Match seems slow moving for me whereas I get tons of messages on okcupid. Despite that, none of the guys seem all that interesting. It seems like the ones I am coming across just want to play. And so many of them on both sites are unattractive guys. I'll stay on for two more months and I think that will be it for me.
Britt
Well-Known Member
I feel the same way at times. I let my match and pof subscription just expire, but then I signed up again for Match a few days ago. I honestly think online could be just as bad/good as regular dating. The same men online are the same men that you'd run into anywhere, just the platform for meeting is different. I went out with someone recently who if I saw him in person I'd give him the time of day for sure (yes gawd). Either way, he'd still be an attractive man that can't keep his penis in his pants. Another dude I met and went out with, I prob would pass him by on the street but having spoken to him a few times I was really interested in meeting him. A few others I saw in person that I saw online (totally coincidentally, was out and about) and I'd def give them the time of day if I saw them in person also.
A bunch of horny fools out and about that want to smash right away and don't really want to talk much or court you. Same spiel I get from other women too. Online or irl --- seems to be about the same ime
.
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
Met a guy from OKCupid for coffee/lunch last Saturday. He was cuter in person than in his pics. It was enjoyable outing but I don't think we will keep seeing each other. He seems to have some stuff to work out and I don't need to be a part of that process.
I have a dinner date tonight with a guy from Tinder. We matched and started chatting last night and within 30 minutes he asked me out to dinner. I picked the restaurant. He seems interesting so we shall see how this goes.
I have a dinner date tonight with a guy from Tinder. We matched and started chatting last night and within 30 minutes he asked me out to dinner. I picked the restaurant. He seems interesting so we shall see how this goes.
MamitaLolita
Well-Known Member
I chatted with some guy who seems alright but I can't tell if he's cute or not so I asked him for more pics. Is that bad etiquette? 
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
I chatted with some guy who seems alright but I can't tell if he's cute or not so I asked him for more pics. Is that bad etiquette?
Nope. Not bad etiquette at all. If a guy only has 1 or 2 pictures that don't really give a clear representation of what he looks like then it's perfectly okay to ask for a couple of more and insist that they are recent (within last 3-6 months).
MamitaLolita
Well-Known Member
So he sent more pictures and he looks nothing like his profile pic. In a bad way. How do I graciously bow out of this without being a jerk?
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i would just ignore him after that but its the only way i know how to bow out w online dating
hes obviously going to know thats why should stop trying to lie with them pics.pink_flower
Well-Known Member
I've been the jerk and just stopped responding
I feel like they are trying to deceive. Like men when jacked grills only posting closed mouth photos.
BlackMarilyn
Well-Known Member
I've been the jerk and just stopped responding
I feel like they are trying to deceive. Like men when jacked grills only posting closed mouth photos.
Or the ones where all pics they have on a hat or sunglasses. Sometimes they put the last photo without the accessory and you're like "oh..."
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
hats = bald
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
I do the gradual fade to black. I take longer to answer texts and give one word answers. They usually get the hint and stop contacting me pretty soon.
Ayesha81
Well-Known Member
I met this guy from POF. He had only 2 pics up. But they looked about 10+ years apart. So I asked him which was the most recent. Of course he said the younger looking pic. We exchanged #'s I asked him to send me a pic to my phone I was pleasantly surprised he was even cuter.
When we met up...lord have mercy this man was NOTHING like his pics. Im not even sure if those pics he posted are even him well maybe when he was younger. Anyway I felt mislead. That was the end of that.
When we met up...lord have mercy this man was NOTHING like his pics. Im not even sure if those pics he posted are even him well maybe when he was younger. Anyway I felt mislead. That was the end of that.
MamitaLolita
Well-Known Member
Now I remember why I hate online dating lol smh. I'm going to dedicate tomorrow to cutesy myself up and run convenient errands...car repair shop etc...maybe moving around will help me pop up on more online searches as well.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
ive never met a guy who didnt look like his photos unless you count the pimply one
unless you count the pimply one MamitaLolita
Well-Known Member
ive never met a guy who didnt look like his photos
CaraWalker care to share some tips and tricks? What sites do you use and how do you get the most out of them?
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i only use okcupid. i think part of the what helps is that my profile is very long. i honed it to perfection over many a drunken night since i only reply to messages from guys who clearly read (and liked) my stupid long profile, i have already cut out a lot of the idiots.
idk your age range, but i also tend to only meet guys in their 20s, so there isnt much room for fake pics there. i have found when i meet older guys in their 30s, they ALWAYS look older, facially, than their pics showed. personally im just not into guys that are a lot older than me though.
i dont think i have any tricks, i think its just my personality. it doesnt attract the kind of guy who is so insecure he would do fakey stuff with his pics i will also say that i recognise guys ive seen from okcupid ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time. i think that was just last weekend, or the weekend before, i went out with an lhcf lady and before she got there i recognised a guy whose okcupid profile i had stalked before damn he was cute
i will say if i do come across a guy whose pics are suspect, i just reverse google image search them and find their other social media thats gotten me out of meeting a few fluffy ones
since i only reply to messages from guys who clearly read (and liked) my stupid long profile, i have already cut out a lot of the idiots.idk your age range, but i also tend to only meet guys in their 20s, so there isnt much room for fake pics there. i have found when i meet older guys in their 30s, they ALWAYS look older, facially, than their pics showed. personally im just not into guys that are a lot older than me though.
i dont think i have any tricks, i think its just my personality. it doesnt attract the kind of guy who is so insecure he would do fakey stuff with his pics
i will also say that i recognise guys ive seen from okcupid ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time. i think that was just last weekend, or the weekend before, i went out with an lhcf lady and before she got there i recognised a guy whose okcupid profile i had stalked before damn he was cute i will say if i do come across a guy whose pics are suspect, i just reverse google image search them and find their other social media
thats gotten me out of meeting a few fluffy ones MamitaLolita
Well-Known Member
Thanks CaraWalker, what about pics? Do you do face only, face and body...? I think my body is an advantage but I don't want that to be the main thing men are looking at. Then agajn since I have only my face I could be +300 lbs for all they know. Also how to you reverse google search a picture?
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i have full body shots because i list myself as curvy, and i dont want them to think that means fat. i have more face shots than full body shots though. i dont go out of my way to emphasize body shots because if a guy is that damn concerned i dont want to date him, and i have a fairly nice figure. i can wear crop tops in public and whatnot but im not trying to date a guy who has anal standards about size.
to RGIS, you copy the properties of the picture and search googles image database. go to google, click images, and a little camera will appear on the end of the search bar. click the camera and put the pic properties there. usually youll get a facebook profile or an instagram. or, if the pic is fake, youll get it all over the net
but im not trying to date a guy who has anal standards about size. to RGIS, you copy the properties of the picture and search googles image database. go to google, click images, and a little camera will appear on the end of the search bar. click the camera and put the pic properties there. usually youll get a facebook profile or an instagram. or, if the pic is fake, youll get it all over the net
MamitaLolita
Well-Known Member
CaraWalker you're awesome...thanks girl
pink_flower
Well-Known Member
I haven't met anyone in person that looked different, but I did have a guy text me more photos and he looked pretty bad. It was so odd to me. He had 2 photos on his profile.
I don't like super close up shots. I find that to be a red flag. You can have a few, but I need to see you from a normal distance. Obviously angles and lighting can be very suspect.
I don't like super close up shots. I find that to be a red flag. You can have a few, but I need to see you from a normal distance. Obviously angles and lighting can be very suspect.
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
I've been very lucky. Every guy I've been out with has looked like their pictures. The only area where guys have misrepresented themselves is height. I usually take 1.5" off every man's listed height just off of GP because men add inches to everything. A lot of the guys I've met have actually looked better in person than their pictures.
I've gotten really good at filtering out the riffraff online. You can tell a lot about a person from picture quality, number of photos in their profile, and what they've written. I also stay away from men with an exorbitant number of selfies on their profile.
My profile has 4-6 pictures at any given time. They are a mix of head and full-body shots. There are no selfies. All of my pictures are from me being out and about living my life. My current main profile picture is full-body.
I've gotten really good at filtering out the riffraff online. You can tell a lot about a person from picture quality, number of photos in their profile, and what they've written. I also stay away from men with an exorbitant number of selfies on their profile.
My profile has 4-6 pictures at any given time. They are a mix of head and full-body shots. There are no selfies. All of my pictures are from me being out and about living my life. My current main profile picture is full-body.
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
Tonight's date was quite good. He looked like his pictures and I'd say even slightly better in person. He's tall and lean which I like. We went to this nice Italian restaurant that I like. The conversation flowed effortlessly. We talked about travel, employment systems, languages, European history and geopolitics, and sports (biking, marathon running, soccer, etc.). At the end of the evening he gave me a ride home. I'm definitely open to seeing him again.
Oh yeah, met him via Tinder.
Oh yeah, met him via Tinder.
