***Online Dating Support Thread***

CarLiTa said:
I've wondered about this too, but Bublin is not in America. She's in the UK. I wonder if she keeps encountering that problem NOT because these men are true deadbeats but because having a car is simply not a common thing where she is. Because that's too odd. This happens too frequently. 90% men I know don't own a car, but we also live with access to metropolitan cities. And if I were dating a car-less man (I have, a LOT) he would simply needs to have the financial comfort to pay for my taxis without issue. I don't know the UK though. There must be a reason why being carless is such a problem, I assume.
Click to expand...

I am the opposite, I have never dated a man without a car, but then again I was based in the south where we don't have a great metro system.
 
ElizaBlue said:
NappyNelle One of my girls is headed for divorce...(been divorced for years just not legally) and she is determined Match is going to work for her. I don't know... when I was on it, it only seemed to match me with old white guys regardless of what I said I wanted. I think it puts income as a major marker for compatibility. I don't need a man for his money...I mean I don't want a broke man either, but that's just not a major marker for me. A major for me is looks and being an introvert too! There are other things of course but if he's missing those too...nothing else will work.
Click to expand...
Match kept matching me with white men too and it pissed me off. I clearly indicated what I wanted but they completely ignored it.



Urban said:
This is so interesting to me because not having a car here is not a big deal at all. I din't think it's something you'd even ask someone in the first few conversations. How come in America it's such a big deal or defines being a 'man'. I'm not saying there's anything wrong at all, just curious as to why/how it's a priority?
Click to expand...
CarLiTa said:
I've wondered about this too, but Bublin is not in America. She's in the UK. I wonder if she keeps encountering that problem NOT because these men are true deadbeats but because having a car is simply not a common thing where she is. Because that's too odd. This happens too frequently. 90% men I know don't own a car, but we also live with access to metropolitan cities. And if I were dating a car-less man (I have, a LOT) he would simply needs to have the financial comfort to pay for my taxis without issue. I don't know the UK though. There must be a reason why being carless is such a problem, I assume.
Click to expand...
I don't know about Bublin' but I live in Virginia. DC is the only place where it makes sense to not have a car. Maybe Clarendon, Ballston (neighborhoods in Arlington) and Old Town Alexandria may be other places to get away with it. I live in Richmond now and the metro system isn't as extensive here so you need a vehicle. Also 95% of them don't have vehicles because they can't afford to not because they choose not to. Meaning they can't afford to pay for your taxi let alone theirs. And if he is trifling he may start asking you to pick him up to save him some money. Not having a vehicle may also indicate bad credit or a low paying job. Bad credit doesn't keep you from getting a car it just hikes up the interest rate and the car payment. No car may also indicate he has no job at all. And I'm sorry if you're in your 40's and ain't got a car that's a red flag for me. So that's why it was one of my questions. I hope that helps. It didn't limit me. It kept me from wasting my time.
 
where i live depending on where you work lots of people prefer not to have a car. i would almost prefer not to have a car but i need one. having a car is expensive in this city. theres a concentrated effort to keep the budget by ticketing and red light cameras. so when people dont want a car here its not necessarily a red flag.

however im going to give bublin enough credit that she is discerning the difference. its one thing not to want a car because you live within walking distance of your job and everything you need, and another not to have a car while not having a way to get around.
 
^^ah, so a car is almost like a holistic proxy for his financial stability.

But what do these men do when they need to go some place a 20-minute drive away? Do they leave 2 hours early so that they can take the bus??

This is a tricky situation. I don't know that I'd dump on the spot for not having a car. I'd probably make the assumption (and communicate) that as the man in this courtship, he's planning the date and figuring out the transportation. AND I'm not taking no 2-hour bus ride to go just a dozen miles. So, if we're going to go out, he needs to factor in taxi money to pick me up and have me dropped off.

I feel like I'd be more turned off if he weren't able to do THAT than if he didn't have a car, period.
 
even though my job is only five miles away its still a twenty minute drive and thats in no traffic. i think it just depends on where you live. the scenario you described with the taxi is an incredible inconvenience imo and i would not be interested in dealing with that.
 
I had my first Match date tonight and it was lots of fun!

The man actually looked like his picture, was a complete gentleman, and the conversation flowed pretty easily. I have another date tomorrow and Tuesday with different men from the site.
 
Finally made things official w a guy I met off pof in January (he was ready by march,.,I just take a looonnnnggggg time to commit..). I reread a mate checklist I made on my phone a year ago.. He actually has all but one of the traits I listed.
 
Shay72 was spot on regarding the car issue.

I'm in London. Yes there is a good transport system but it doesn't run 24hrs.
Men are NOT prepared to pay for taxis and even if they were how long can you sustain that for? How would dates work - come 11pm there is no public transport where I live except for night buses and I'm not getting one of them with a big grown man holding a bus pass.

If you come to my house and stay late, how are you going to get home? No, my home is not a doss house, a place to sleep then catch the bus in the morning...ewww.

I have had convo's with guys and the expectation is that I will do the driving. No. They are that blatant.

NOT having a car and also telling me that you're 'saving up' for one is bull and unattractive to me.

I went on a date once with a guy who said he had a car but strangely sold it the day before the first date. He asked me to drop him home. I did because I knew I would never see him again (there were other reasons) and he asked me out again adding that now I know where he lives I can pick him up....

I'm 38 years old so looking to date a guy up to 45ish. Why haven't you got a car? I'm a single mother of 2 children, own my own home and have a car.....I don't expect to ferry around a third child.
 
Ugh. These men are so trife. Asking to be picked up and dropped off, what??

Thanks for explaining further. Had no idea that public transport shuts down that early. That's really crappy. And yes at that age, they should absolutely have cars given those circumstances. Is their financial situation that problematic that they can't afford one? Wow.
 
CarLiTa said:
Ugh. These men are so trife. Asking to be picked up and dropped off, what??

Thanks for explaining further. Had no idea that public transport shuts down that early. That's really crappy. And yes at that age, they should absolutely have cars given those circumstances. Is their financial situation that problematic that they can't afford one? Wow.
Click to expand...

Yes, I prrsonally see it as an indication of a poor financial situation.

I have a friend whose partner doesn't know how to drive and initially told her that he is very into 'environmental issues' and doesn't want to add to world pollution and doesn't need a car. By the way he only eats junk food and is obese, doesn't cycle etc.
During the dating phase she would drive and he would pay for everything but she still resented him.
Now they have a child and she resents him even more. She refuses to drive him anywhere unless they are going somewhere together. Rain, snow, hail she refuses to make life comfortable for him. He can't pick their son up from school and recently she was ill in the night and he had to call her parents to take her to A&E..... He does not contribute to the running of the car.
 
OH HELL NAHHHHH:nono::nono::nono::nono:

I'm from new york and when i was dating not having a car was a deal breaker for me...public transportation is cute when your a teen maybe even early 20's but a man of a certain age should have his own transportation and his own place---i only expected what i had on my own..no car no thank you! :look::nono:

financially a man of a certain age should be able to afford at least a used vehicle...






Bublin said:
Yes, I prrsonally see it as an indication of a poor financial situation.

I have a friend whose partner doesn't know how to drive and initially told her that he is very into 'environmental issues' and doesn't want to add to world pollution and doesn't need a car. By the way he only eats junk food and is obese, doesn't cycle etc.
During the dating phase she would drive and he would pay for everything but she still resented him.
Now they have a child and she resents him even more. She refuses to drive him anywhere unless they are going somewhere together. Rain, snow, hail she refuses to make life comfortable for him. He can't pick their son up from school and recently she was ill in the night and he had to call her parents to take her to A&E..... He does not contribute to the running of the car.
Click to expand...
 
we don't have public transport where i live. if you don't have a car here i assume you are broke with no job.:lol:

i just came back from chicago yesterday and took the bus and trains everywhere. i LOVED it. i would give anything to not have to have a car. gas, car payment, insurance etc. is expensive.
 
lux10023 said:
OH HELL NAHHHHH:nono::nono::nono::nono:

I'm from new york and when i was dating not having a car was a deal breaker for me...public transportation is cute when your a teen maybe even early 20's but a man of a certain age should have his own transportation and his own place---i only expected what i had on my own..no car no thank you! :look::nono:

financially a man of a certain age should be able to afford at least a used vehicle...
Click to expand...

I'll admit I live by a double standard on this matter. :lol: I have very little interest in getting a car any time soon but I wouldn't take a guy without one seriously.
 
So when a guy views your profile (and vice versa) you get an email. What would you do if someone you know and have hung out with in a group setting viewed your profile? Would you view back? Ignore? How awkward!
 
Belle Du Jour said:
So when a guy views your profile (and vice versa) you get an email. What would you do if someone you know and have hung out with in a group setting viewed your profile? Would you view back? Ignore? How awkward!
Click to expand...
Why is it embarrassing? He probably viewed you because he knew you/you looked familiar. Send him a message and ask if he's having any luck on the site? I saw a friend from HS online and viewed his profile. We're friends on FB too so I sent him a message and asked how was it going? Was he having any luck. We both found our SO on that same site.
 
When my black *** starts feeling optimistic...


age : 33 body : athletic hair : FADEED/ BLONDISH BROWN height : 5'7" (170cm) personality : FUNNY occupation : SHHOOL status : single

My Name is Charles I am cacusain white Male, And I dont put Restrictions on Race nor color of skin if You and I Bond" and it is God"s will for us to be Together then we will be Blessed...!! Not perfect But we can strive for Prefection in every Aera of our Lifes...!!!

I am searching for a Woman who is Funny, And not so serious all the time, She really wants to Better Her-self Daily, Believes In God...!! Loves to go on walks through the Parks & Share emotions and Her thoughts with Me, Not Afraid to stop working or stop one of her Tasks and just say ya" Know what Im juss Gonna Go Spend Quality Time with my Man...!!!
Im" Looking for a Woman that may Not be Liveing a Luxary Life "
But She has the determination To walk in the full Package of A" High Quality Life...!!!
In All Aeras of our Lifes.
A Woman whom will uplift me when Im down" And build me back up with her Heartfelt words of Derserment that Her Man Needs her Voice of Love & Ecouargement To cause him to rise up and Become Bold for Rightoness to Suround them and him to see them Through Life...!!

I love to Play basketball, Work Out, Early morning Jogs, Im actually getting ready to go Back to school in Jan. for Web-Desighn / Social Media...!!
Every special Moment That I am Given With the Woman That God Blesses Me to be With I am going to Cherish Every Moment...!!
If you would Like to see some Photos of me Go to My Face-Book Page.
My page Name is Charles Ray.
I am the Guy wearing the White Monster Hat, Just keep Scrolling you Will find me if the Page Name is Charles Ray From Cincinnati and wearing white hat it is me...!!

*** Or here is a Thought If you Would like to write me a Letter and Send few Photos This will be fine...!!!

Proceeds to give me the address to a local flop hotel :whyme:
 
BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I'm sure there's a woman out there for him. Every scratched up, dented, burnt up pot has a scratched up and dented lid.
 
Shay72 said:
Why is it embarrassing? He probably viewed you because he knew you/you looked familiar. Send him a message and ask if he's having any luck on the site? I saw a friend from HS online and viewed his profile. We're friends on FB too so I sent him a message and asked how was it going? Was he having any luck. We both found our SO on that same site.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the reality check! I haven't logged on but when I do, I will send a cute emote. Hopefully, he won't take it the wrong way though. . .men can be so weird.
 
I just created a profile on POF. Ugh, I only received 2 messages from men totally not up to my standard. I did receive "meet me" notifications. This is so annoying. What's wrong with men taking the time to write a simple message. Why are men such cowards nowadays?? I want an old-fashioned man, a man that takes thrill in the chase and pursuit of a woman.
 
Every time I get an email from a really nice guy but who happens over weight or unattractive I just say something nice...but that you are a dead ringer, identical twin, mirror image to my brother.

I just can't be mean to nice people. Bu the jerks with the earrings, gold teefes and tatts, saying "wuts gud" I have no problem saying you're not my type.

If they persist I feel to put on ignore.
 
Simply_elle said:
When my black *** starts feeling optimistic... age : 33 body : athletic hair : FADEED/ BLONDISH BROWN height : 5'7" (170cm) personality : FUNNY occupation : SHHOOL status : single My Name is Charles I am cacusain white Male, And I dont put Restrictions on Race nor color of skin if You and I Bond" and it is God"s will for us to be Together then we will be Blessed...!! Not perfect But we can strive for Prefection in every Aera of our Lifes...!!! I am searching for a Woman who is Funny, And not so serious all the time, She really wants to Better Her-self Daily, Believes In God...!! Loves to go on walks through the Parks & Share emotions and Her thoughts with Me, Not Afraid to stop working or stop one of her Tasks and just say ya" Know what Im juss Gonna Go Spend Quality Time with my Man...!!! Im" Looking for a Woman that may Not be Liveing a Luxary Life " But She has the determination To walk in the full Package of A" High Quality Life...!!! In All Aeras of our Lifes. A Woman whom will uplift me when Im down" And build me back up with her Heartfelt words of Derserment that Her Man Needs her Voice of Love & Ecouargement To cause him to rise up and Become Bold for Rightoness to Suround them and him to see them Through Life...!! I love to Play basketball, Work Out, Early morning Jogs, Im actually getting ready to go Back to school in Jan. for Web-Desighn / Social Media...!! Every special Moment That I am Given With the Woman That God Blesses Me to be With I am going to Cherish Every Moment...!! If you would Like to see some Photos of me Go to My Face-Book Page. My page Name is Charles Ray. I am the Guy wearing the White Monster Hat, Just keep Scrolling you Will find me if the Page Name is Charles Ray From Cincinnati and wearing white hat it is me...!! *** Or here is a Thought If you Would like to write me a Letter and Send few Photos This will be fine...!!! Proceeds to give me the address to a local flop hotel :whyme:
Click to expand...
He sounds newly released back into society...they always have the most grandiose ideas...as they've dreaming of that free life.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

P
Online Dating and Background Checks
Replies
6
Views
185
StLucianSweetie
StLucianSweetie
K
What's the best online dating site?
Replies
0
Views
57
Katrice
K
L
Online Dating 101
Replies
1
Views
71
MummysGirl
MummysGirl
L
Online Dating: Give me the Scoop
Replies
3
Views
147
Etherealsmile
Etherealsmile
lipyt
online dating precautions!
Replies
6
Views
152
caltron
caltron
Back
Top