***Online Dating Support Thread***

So last night I went on the 2nd date was the insanely handsome shorter guy. I had originally decided to wear flats but changed my mind at the last minute and wore some wedged sandals. When I saw the guy at the restaurant I didn't care that I was a little on the tall side. :lol: we couldn't take our eyes off of one another. The date was amazing and ended with one of the most passionate kisses I've had in life y'all...LIFE! :lol:
 
the newest online dating data....
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so remember girls

say mother**** stereotypes and do whatever the **** you want
 
I don't understand why they keep releasing new online dating data when it only yields the same results, wait I think I can figure out why.

I kind of got a glimpse into why some black women may not get responses, well not so much why, but anyway. My friend (he's pac. islander) made a tinder and we were all going through his matches and seeing which ones he should 'like'. Well a pretty black girl pops up and he goes 'ohh, she's cute' and then goes 'but no' and denies her.

That totally threw me off, but I didn't ask why. But with the girls he did like (average white girls, maybe one asian girl), I noticed they were 'safe' for him, and he's had luck with those types of girls before. I'm assuming he denied her because of insecurity and fear of the unknown, maybe?

He also 'liked' a girl and she 'liked' him [on tinder], but when he found out they 'matched' he decided he didn't like her anymore, so he didn't send a message. I asked him why he changed his mind because I have had guys do this on OKcupid where we get a message saying we rated each other high, but the guy doesn't take the next step to send a follow up message. His answer was because he decided he was no longer interested in her (obviously) and it is not that big of a deal.
 
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Nelli04 said:
I don't understand why they keep releasing new online dating data when it only yields the same results, wait I think I can figure out why.

I kind of got a glimpse into why some black women may not get responses, well not so much why, but anyway. My friend (he's pac. islander) made a tinder and we were all going through his matches and seeing which ones he should 'like'. Well a pretty black girl pops up and he goes 'ohh, she's cute' and then goes 'but no' and denies her.

That totally threw me off, but I didn't ask why. But with the girls he did like (average white girls, maybe one asian girl), I noticed they were 'safe' for him, and he's had luck with those types of girls before. I'm assuming he denied her because of insecurity and fear of the unknown, maybe?

He also 'liked' a girl and she 'liked' him [on tinder], but when he found out they 'matched' he decided he didn't like her anymore, so he didn't send a message. I asked him why he changed his mind because I have had guys do this on OKcupid where we get a message saying we rated each other high, but the guy doesn't take the next step to send a follow up message. His answer was because he decided he was no longer interested in her (obviously) and it is not that big of a deal.
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Nelli04

Interesting ...I think men are more insecure than we take them for. I see many men with 'average' looking women
 
pearlific1 said:
So last night I went on the 2nd date was the insanely handsome shorter guy. I had originally decided to wear flats but changed my mind at the last minute and wore some wedged sandals. When I saw the guy at the restaurant I didn't care that I was a little on the tall side. :lol: we couldn't take our eyes off of one another. The date was amazing and ended with one of the most passionate kisses I've had in life y'all...LIFE! :lol:
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I'm living vicariously through you
YASSSLawd.gif
 
Simply_elle said:
I browsed POF... I just couldn't y'all :cry: I feel way too many people troll that site.
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I lasted about 2 months on there. Losers galore. One dude messaged me and asked if I'd be interested in sitting on his face. I was like WTF? Really? :nono: I spent more time blocking dudes than chatting. Sigh.
 
I'm supposed to meet someone face to face on Thursday. Sunday night we both agreed to Thursday after work. He's the one that flat out asked when is he going to see me. I still haven't heard anything to solidify/confirm today. I figured out of courtesy one should at least confirm 2 days before? No? If I hear from him tomorrow I'll most likely decline the invite.
 
Britt said:
I'm supposed to meet someone face to face on Thursday. Sunday night we both agreed to Thursday after work. He's the one that flat out asked when is he going to see me. I still haven't heard anything to solidify/confirm today. I figured out of courtesy one should at least confirm 2 days before? No? If I hear from him tomorrow I'll most likely decline the invite.
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Hopefully you'll hear something soon. I had one guy that I was really feeling --and thought was feeling me--plan a date and never confirmed. I sent him a text the day before to see if we were still on and he never replied. Never heard from him again. That was a blow to my ego...especially after talking to this dude for a month.
 
NGraceO said:
Officially back off these dating sites. Smh. At least I can say I tried...again.
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Girl, I know the feeling. I deactivated everything yesterday.

ivyness said:
Joined tinder :look:
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What exactly is tinder. When I googled it some time ago, the articles I found seemed to discuss it as a hook up (sex) app. Is that true?
--------------------------

My rotation of 3 has just become two. I had to take one guy out because he was giving me weird vibes. He kept sending numerous unsolicited [barely clothed] pics of himself. I hate when guys do that. :nono: His body is perfection though :lachen:

The 2 left standing are beyond different from one another. I have the Latin lover (what my boss calls him. :look: He's an Italian PhD student and researcher at my organization) :lol: who is charming and intelligent but he wants to keep things casual and fun. The physical attraction [for both of us] is out of this world. :blush: I just can't let myself go too far with him. :rolleyes: I really enjoy being around him.

The other is highly successful career-wise and financially stable (definitely looking for both of those) but the physical attraction on my end isn't really there. He would be so much more attractive to me if he lost a bit of weight. Is that me being shallow? I work out 3+ days a week and I've noticed that I'm starting to rub off on him a bit (he has started working out/eating better). After about a month of casually dating he's looking for something a little more serious with me. Last night he told me that he would go as slow as I needed since I'm coming out of a long term relationship. I thought that was very sweet and considerate.

Downside, both of these guys are short! Gah! :lol:
 
pearlific1 said:
Hopefully you'll hear something soon. I had one guy that I was really feeling --and thought was feeling me--plan a date and never confirmed. I sent him a text the day before to see if we were still on and he never replied. Never heard from him again. That was a blow to my ego...especially after talking to this dude for a month.
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I'd feel the same way too :nono: . I'm a stickler with plans. I like things to be confirmed and that goes with anyone.
 
... one guy I met in January turned out to be a fluke and a flake. Great two-day date but then, poof, he had to go because he started acting dumb. Won't go into it, lol :lol:

...Talking to a guy from online. Not interested in meeting anyone online but he is handsome and provides great conversation on the telephone. Good phone buddy, that's it.
 
bunnycolvin said:
i wont get into a discussion about "abw," but i will say in general it's just negative. like how do you feel when you come across the profile of someone you would like and they have a "do not message me if" list and it includes something that excludes you?

this is what my profile used to say under message me if; i cannot understate that my profile was very popular and got me a lot of good dates. i was regularly told by guys who messaged me that my profile was perfect and not to change a word of it, how they usually dont read long profiles but read every word of mine etc etc... (i finally decided to change it because i kept it that way a long time and i figure ive gotten all the use i could out of it and its time to try a different approach.) first im going to show what it would look like if i did the "do not message me if" route:

do not message me if:

[*]you dont read
[*]you have no interests or hobbies of your own
[*]you think its cute to write me poetry
[*]you have no ambition
[*]you think moscato is a classy drink
[*]we have a high enemy percentage
[*]you have no culture
[*]you are not chivalrous
[*]you're pretentious
[*]you treat women like ****


etc etc

instead i took the same information and turned it around so it was more palatable, and my profile said:

you should message me if..


[*]you consider yourself well read
[*]you wanna watch/go to basketball games
[*]you like girls who are very straightforward
[*]you think poetry is lame
[*]you have enough sense that your default profile pic on a dating site doesnt include another woman -____-
[*]you can tutor me in a second language
[*]you're a peeta, not a gale, a jake not a matty, an aiden, not a big
[*]you even know who or what any of those things are
[*]you are ambitious and goal oriented
[*]you prefer reds over whites
[*]you hate jonathan franzen
[*]you hang a pair of jeans well
[*]we are 0% enemies
[*]you do cheesy **** like spending the day together at the museum
[*]you won't mind following behind me carrying my bags as i shop
[*]you always open doors for ladies
[*]you are not a redditor... um... noredditorsokbye
[*]you are passionate about literature, music, law, government, education, and/or human rights
[*]you don't think valentine's day is just a "made up holiday" you get to skip
[*]you have ever written a short story (or more!)
[*]youre not too cool for movie night
[*]you were never described by anyone as "pretentious"
[*]you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity
[*]you wanna take me out for a drink
[*]and you're not crazy

....but probably not in that order.

same information presented differently; flirty and fun and joking, not exhausted and irritated and tired. and i did still slip in some hints that im not here for your bull****; it's just not as biting and aggressive (which ymmv on). i really believe that in online dating perception is half the battle; which is probably to say i went out with lots of great guys but then fumbled the ball when it came to holding up my end of the bargain irl :lol:
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Love this.
 
ivyness said:
Love this.
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speaking of which, i was worried my profile wouldnt be as big a hit this time because its a little more toned down than the one i was talking about in that post. but a guy just said i seem really cool, or maybe i paid someone to write my profile :scratchch :lol: so i think i'll get by.
 
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