***Online Dating Support Thread***

bunnycolvin said:
i get what she means its the nature of the bar. there is an area in my city that is known for douchebag frat types and i do not hang out there. i would meet a guy there maybe but i definitely wouldnt suggest going to that neighborhood myself. since op is in her twenties and the guy is in his forties maybe he thinks hes being young and hip :lol: the appeal of dating older men is to go to better places though not the same crap youd accept with a guy your own age :lol:
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Girl,

Get outta my head! I'm side eyeing him because he's all first class business man hanging out here... I'm sorry this is a entertainment complex, with more age appropriate venues. I can be picky. Maya A. Said "when people show you who they are, you must believe them". Next!!!
 
This evening my mom wanted to go to dinner so we went somewhere, it was all quite impromptu and she wanted to try this place. As I finished eating my dinner in walks someone who I messaged the night before on POF. I kept thinking should I go up and say hi in a friendly manner? Well, I didn't. He looked handsome and disarming and was with a guy.

I got home and messaged me and told him I saw him out at the restaurant. He asked why didn't I come over lol.

The coincidence when he walked into the place totally took me back.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I had my first post-divorce date earlier this evening and it went really well! We'd been playing phone tag for the past week, and made super last minute plans to get together for a drink today.

It was very natural and open, and he asked what I like to do so he can start planning a second date later next weekend.:Blush2:
 
i reactivated my profile again. ughhhhhhhhhhhh im so bored :lol:

e: i can now identify various bars and restaurants by the decor/food :perplexed :lol:
 
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I am SO glad I found this thread!! So started online dating 5 days ago on OKC and Blackpeoplemeet (Lord why did I join a site that advertises on BET:sad:). Anyway I'm 24 and I clearly state no one over 30. I still get messages from all kinda men old enough to be my father! I get tons of messages, but I'm not seeing any quality.

Okay so I'm talking to one dude and he seems cool so I give him my number. Then he starts talking about his PTSD :spinning: No problem, I can try to work with that. But then dude starts acting clingy saying things like "please text me back" "I hope I didn't run you away". So I google him and there is an article about him adjusting to civilian life and all these terrible things that happened to him. So I'm thinking okay, I can help this guy. Then I stumble across his facebook page where he announced in December that he had a baby girl due in April. So on the sly I asked him if he had any kids or any on the way. He says no and he wants to be married and all this other stuff. I may screenshot this foolishness. Yeah I'm frustrated!!
 
Also I don't know how many times someone has asked me, "Why are you single?" "What are you doing on here?" So I just respond honestly, "Oh, just looking for a man/husband!" lol.
 
simplybeauty


Oh I like that response. Girl you have to learn to weed through all that nonsense. Don't give people your number until you feel a good intuition or have spoken more. I use kik messenger initial ly and if they don't want to use that then I keep it moving. That way they Don't have my number and I keep it moving if i no longer like them. Less intimate to me...
 
Not creepy. Not the slightest. Funny I want my men OVER 30, and the 19-24 year old set are like heyyy. Ugh. I state clearly no men under 30!
 

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Ok, so I'm back on OK Cupid. Let's see how long this lasts. Last time, I closed my profile out after one day. :lol:
 
I've decided to respond to most messages I receive. Just have random conversation. I don't expect anything to come out of them but I just want to have a chat.
 
bunnycolvin said:
i have already re-deactivated again :rofl:
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Lol! I'm still hanging In there. I've gotten plenty of messages, but none from anyone I'd be interested in. I'm thinking that maybe I should find a site that I have to pay for....maybe that will weed out some of the undesirables?
 
NGraceO said:
Lol! I'm still hanging In there. I've gotten plenty of messages, but none from anyone I'd be interested in. I'm thinking that maybe I should find a site that I have to pay for....maybe that will weed out some of the undesirables?
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in my case it's definitely my profile. i used to have a fun profile with several full body shots, and i got messages from lots of guys i wanted to date. i want to do a less is more approach for my profile text, and it isnt working, even though i felt like my better profile caused too many men to expect me to be more exciting than i really am. i also took down the full body shots because i feel like for some reason i look like a smaller size in most full body photos than i really am, and i didnt want to be going out with guys who thought i was deliberately deceptive even though all of my photos are recent. so to solve this i want to lose weight and take some new photos... which is OBVIOUSLY a quick and valid solution :rolleyes: im basically getting nowhere.

i think maybe i could get away with the brief, terse profile with better photos, but it is definitely not working with both those out.
 
Got a groupon and am currently joining match.com for a month. Well see what happens. Go hard or go home, I guess. lol
 
Bublin said:
I've decided to respond to most messages I receive. Just have random conversation. I don't expect anything to come out of them but I just want to have a chat.
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I don't reply to most, but sometimes even if someone isn't in my area, I'll chat with them for a bit. I was joking over the weekend with these two ridiculously tall guys -- one was 6'5', the other was 6'7" -- about how awesome us tall folks are!
 
It was a silly, unrealistic fantasy to think that my first post-divorce date would turn into something, but it was a nice fantasy for the week that it lasted. Oh well, moving on.

Went on a date with a different man tonight for happy hour. Came in with no expectations other than a nice conversation and those expectations were exceeded. We were talking about our other online experiences, and he mentioned that he was surprised at the number of women on OKC just looking for something physical, since that's not really what he's looking for (neither am I). He said that he's met up with two separate women who cussed him out after he turned down offers for first date sexing.

Me: But your profile says you're interested in all types of relationships, including casual sex.
Him: No it doesn't.
Me: :look: Yes, it does [pulls out cell phone to show him the OKC app, points to words "casual sex" on his profile]. See? It's right there.
Him: I never even saw that.
Me: That's why they cussed you out. False advertising. :giggle:
 
I have been thinking long and hard, I finally have the courage to create a dating profile. I'm very nervous! Any advice for a first timer?

Background : divorced, three kids, 28 looking for older. I'm not sure what else haha
 
@lovely_locks

my first time doing it as well and here is my experience after 3 months:

you don't have to respond to everyone... i did in the beginning and it was overwhelming. I don't give my number out so freely until I am sure it is what I'm looking for. Most of the time, I give my kik messenger first and most guys have it as well. weed out the perverts..and you will know about how quickly they talk about sex or jokes they make regarding that. That is there way of testing you....

also, if it is on okcupid , look at the answers to their questions. you will know quickly if they are looking for fun or something serious. Good Luck!

p.s. some guys will ask for more pictures via phone.. I direct them to my website. I don't have time for those games
 
sweetvi said:
@lovely_locks my first time doing it as well and here is my experience after 3 months: you don't have to respond to everyone... i did in the beginning and it was overwhelming. I don't give my number out so freely until I am sure it is what I'm looking for. Most of the time, I give my kik messenger first and most guys have it as well. weed out the perverts..and you will know about how quickly they talk about sex or jokes they make regarding that. That is there way of testing you.... also, if it is on okcupid , look at the answers to their questions. you will know quickly if they are looking for fun or something serious. Good Luck! p.s. some guys will ask for more pictures via phone.. I direct them to my website. I don't have time for those games
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Thank you! I decided to go with plenty of fish. I headed your advice about not responding to everyone. I decided to be as picky as I am in real life on line. So far only one creeper. But it has only been one day lol.
 
Meh. On the verge of shutting down both my okcupid and match accounts, which have been open for all of a week or two.

I guess I've been disappointed in the quality of men and the lack of response from those I might be interested in.

I'm reminded of how I'm not a fan of the dating game.
 
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