***Online Dating Support Thread***

Bublin said:
So if you don't hear from him after a date and you don't call him, isn't that following the rules?

Should i text the guy in the situation i described above? He did contact me but didn't ask me on another date.
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Bublin


If I'm getting ghost vibes, It's simply that. I'm learning after a four year relationship no time is wasted. I'm moving on. However, I will let my prospective dates how I feel. I enjoyed your company, I look forward to meeting you, I'd love to see you again... You really blew my back out ect.:lol:

He knows without a doubt where I stand, so if he wants to move on his loss.

This is going to be my experiment with male flattery. In my profile I mentioned I love good beer/spirits and hockey. Boy. The men are loving it, (I really love these two things IRL by the way!) I think they'll put up with shopping and the frill for us, Ill have a beer.. and watch big Canucks beat up each other if it makes my date happy:yep:

Turns out the Dr plays on a team here in Cincy... ;)
 
^^^I agree. If you had a really good time and would like to see him again, let him know so there's no room for doubt/confusion. I'm sure men feel insecure at times just like we do. But me personally, I wouldn't literally ask him on another date. Also, trust your instinct. Like above poster said, if you're feeling ghost vibes (:lol:) chalk it up to the game and keep it moving. :yep:
 
I'm thinking about freezing my OKC. The messages I've gotten on there have been meh to blah. It's also kinda overwhelming since I have a couple of conversations going from Craigslist too :perplexed. I really have no experience with dating. I've been a hit and quit it girl for too long :lachen:. Finding someone to date, getting to know someone, and building a relationship takes so much effort. I see why people go creeping back to their exes, but I've only got one :lol:.
 
so I am starting not to take this too seriously on OKCUPID. LOl it is starting to be entertaining actually....lol

I met this nice looking dude. Good career and attractive and our conversations were starting off great. Then he told me he was looking for some kooky things.... goodbye lol
 
Bublin

ITA with the ladies, just let him know that you enjoy his company and leave the ball in his court. That's what I mean. If I don't follow up with a guy afterwards, it's because I'm not interested.

I also agree that this dating game can be just as foreign/intimidating for guys as it is for us. LoL
 
Ugh, I just screwed up.

I had a date initially planned out for today...Sunday, with a super cute guy that I started chatting with on OKCupid.

Last night we were texting back and forth and he mentioned something about having to work today and asked if we could reschedule for Monday. In my head I'm thinking that works better for me. It gives me time to get my hair and nails together since I slacked on that during the week.

Now I wake up this morning to a text and a call from him asking, "Where am I at?" I was totally confused until I reread through our text the night before. He initially asked to reschedule then on another text said NEVERMIND and brought up another topic. I NEVER SAW THAT HE SAID NEVERMIND!!!!

I felt terrible and sent him a text to explain my misunderstanding and to apologize. He seemed upset by his response and hasn't said much of anything since this morning. I know he's pissed (I would be irritated too) But it was a total misunderstanding. Is it wrong that I think that he should understand and forgive?

I seriously need to take another break with dating. This stuff is just not working out for me....
 
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dollface0023 You are not wrong. It was a simple misunderstanding. Another reason to talk more and text less. But he should be more forgiving since he was the one who brought up changing the date because he had to work. Just saying nevermind and changing the subject is not really enough IMO. He should have gone into more detail then you wouldn't have missed it. Like nevermind I will just ask to leave early or nevermind I was able to change my schedule and we can meet as planned, etc. He should be more understanding. Don't let this stop you from dating. But please talk more on the phone. He texts to ask where you are. You text back to explain. Why aren't you guys talking on the phone?
 
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hopeful said:
@dollface0023 You are not wrong. It was a simple misunderstanding. Another reason to talk more and text less. But he should be more forgiving since he was the one who brought up changing the date because he had to work. Just saying nevermind and changing the subject is not really enough IMO. He should have gone into more detail then you wouldn't have missed it. Like nevermind I will just ask to leave early or nevermind I was able to change my schedule and we can meet as planned, etc. He should be more understanding. Don't let this stop you from dating. But please talk more on the phone. He texts to ask where you are. You text back to explain. Why aren't you guys talking on the phone?
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Thank you!!! hopeful

I honestly didn't do it on purpose...hell, I was the one that planned the date! I chose the spot, date and time initially. Why would I go to all of that trouble if I had planned to just not show up! It was just so blasé for him to just say nevermind, but if I hadn't missed the "nevermind" I would have had to ask him to explain what he meant.

I reallllly hate talking on the phone, but you are definitely right. In this case there should have been more phone conversations going on.

If he gets over it, fine. I'm just going to call it a loss for now....
 
dollface0023 said:
Now I wake up this morning to a text and a call from him asking, "Where am I at?" I was totally confused until I reread through our text the night before. He initially asked to reschedule then on another text said NEVERMIND and brought up another topic. I NEVER SAW THAT HE SAID NEVERMIND!!!!
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I agree with hopeful more talk less text. Though I am surprised that he didn't call before leaving today or you ending the text talk the night before confirming for Monday.
 
Hey Ladies!

I'm exhausted!

Last night the date with the 34 y/o was.. Interesting :look: He was SOO effeminate and wore those hard church shoes. He made a display of saying grace *side eye* I was like :nono: we had drinks after dinner and had ZERO spark, like I told my BFF it was a box drying experience. It's funny because over the phone He seemed more...manly. But in person it wasn't ok. Oh. He also mentioned he exfoliated his face and had moisturized, yeah anyway. He's getting a thanks but no thanks text.

The 49 y/o Jewish doctor was a quintessential "good Jew boy". We started off with brunch and I had a really good time. We talked about both having curly hair, His faith, and he's funny. I've worked with him in the past, just when he was doing rounds and passing by in the hospital... Going against all "rules" we went to a contemporary arts museum and went on another date. I scoped that hand on my shoulder, and trying to feel me out...but. :lol: I let him kiss me, we had espresso then I noticed it was 6pm!

His birthday is tomorrow so he left to have dinner, he tried to bail with his cousin and I heard him (his cousin) on the phone saying "The roads aren't THAT bad, We can't WAIT to see ya!" LOL so that ended date #1

Elle 1 Dating Vortex of Awkwardness's 1
 
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MzSwift said:
LoL! You should've gotten some skincare tips from him. :D

I hope Jewish Doc calls you for another date!
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That was a date where I needed a emotional shower afterward. He was >this< close to broken wrist syndrome, and put his glasses on with his fingertips. Lawdhelpme.

The Dr called a hour or so ago, to follow up and say goodnight. Not complaining.

Also!

Here's another quagmire, how are you all still looking when your're "enjoying" someone you met there. If we're not talking again I'm blocking his profile... but I wonder... can I go ghost and still look w/o showing my last login?
 
@MzSwift

girl!!!! his profile states he is looking for something genuine and is not on there for any booty calls or one night stands. nothing about freakiness hahhahaha.I wonder what is it on my profile that makes them think I get down like that. I mean for pete's sake, I have a bible scripture on there LOL


I wonder if it because I\m black that they have this preconceived notion that we r kinky and down for anything?. as a matter of fact, my profile showed he visited this morning even though i told him no thank you yesterday...
 
Simply_elle

At least you get dates, all my guys dissappear on me, or are stalkers, has foot fetishes, or looking for a submissive sexual woman ha!
 
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Simply_elle said:
Here's another quagmire, how are you all still looking when your're "enjoying" someone you met there. If we're not talking again I'm blocking his profile... but I wonder... can I go ghost and still look w/o showing my last login?
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:lachen: not the fingertips!!

I think it's kinda expected that both parties will be on the site until things get serious/formal. I think blocking him will prevent him from seeing your online activity.
 
sweetvi said:
@MzSwift

girl!!!! his profile states he is looking for something genuine and is not on there for any booty calls or one night stands. nothing about freakiness hahhahaha.I wonder what is it on my profile that makes them think I get down like that. I mean for pete's sake, I have a bible scripture on there LOL


I wonder if it because I\m black that they have this preconceived notion that we r kinky and down for anything?. as a matter of fact, my profile showed he visited this morning even though i told him no thank you yesterday...
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Some people think church girls are freaks. :yep:
I don't think it's a race thing though. All of my dates have been with non-Black guys and I've only run into one guy who behaved like that.
 
This.guy.messaged.me.

I'm not understanding how I attract the sweet, sweets.

Lol.
 

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Sucks. I really liked the doctor, but it think it's healthier to keep the plates spinning... Dating is about keeping it moving in a way. (I'm not done with him yet lol) You know us ladies get all vested in one fool, and blow off other prospects.

In other news.

This big corn fed boy form Louisville just sent me a message :lick: I love big, meaty, blondes... He reminds me of DD's dad. I do have a type.

A ok Cupid tip: keep your profile short and lively. I don't read over two paragraphs... My eyes glaze over at quotes and borrowed "sayings". So I imagine someone wouldn't read mine if it was novel length! Seems to be serving me well. Only pitfall, scores of menz age 18(!!!)-23 message me.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
I just got an email from Okc saying I'm rated one of the most attractive people on there (yeah right) and now I'll have access to more attractive people. What?! So what have they been showing me all this time?
 
*bump*

I know I'm not the only one with some ishahs (issues :giggle:)

I'm over the messaging thing and it's only week two. I'm still going full steam, but the "Hey" messages really irritate me. I guess they write and a lot of women, and they don't reply so... But see it's not my problem :look:

Ironically the guy I dig is the one I didn't think I would and vice versa. *sigh*

The 34 y/o was not mommy's cup o tea and I decided to let him know good luck and so on, he goes into this britch fest about how women are are looking for "fast relationships" and wah wah. See I was trying to be nice and say hey no thanks...and not ghost his arse. I said NOWHERE in my profile I was looking for a friend with a peen. Even a platonic one. KIM shawty. I'm honest I'd take "That friend" or a LTR, there was no spark and I hate girly men... Anyway!


The Jew doctor asked me to dinner this week, I'm mildly skep as it's Thursday or Friday. Hmm. :lol:

We shall see.

Good luck my single ladies :) trying to keep it positive here....

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
MzSwift said:
I've had more success searching for guys that I like and messaging them.:yep:
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LaChaBla said:
I'm having the same experience.
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i admit messaging guys first gets me a lot of dates, and is especially helpful if i am messaging someone i want to sleep with :look: but as far as boyfriends go, both of mine messaged me first and took the reins, and ive never had anything serious come of messaging a guy first. in fact a lot of the time i dont make it to irl if i message first. i dont do it anymore.
 
Now I wake up this morning to a text and a call from him asking, "Where am I at?" I was totally confused until I reread through our text the night before. He initially asked to reschedule then on another text said NEVERMIND and brought up another topic. I NEVER SAW THAT HE SAID NEVERMIND!!!!

I felt terrible and sent him a text to explain my misunderstanding and to apologize. He seemed upset by his response and hasn't said much of anything since this morning. I know he's pissed (I would be irritated too) But it was a total misunderstanding. Is it wrong that I think that he should understand and forgive?
Click to expand...

this sounds like he thought he had a date with someone he really wanted to go out with but then it fell through, so he didnt have to cancel on you after all. that is what i would think, because i dont trust men, and also because i have done that a time or two. there is a hierarchy even in the dating stage :lol:
 
The 34 y/o I blocked his number... He changed #'s and sent me "see what had happened was" text! This ninja crazy!

I'm learning how to use google voice now... Lesson learned.

I have no energy to reply to anyone...
 
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