***Online Dating Support Thread***

i dont understand it. i used to get SOOO many msgs on okcupid. as a matter of fact i've had to delete msgs from my inbox several times bc it has gotten so full. but now it seems like i couldnt PAY someone to write me. :nono: i really dont get it.
 
runwaydream said:
i dont understand it. i used to get SOOO many msgs on okcupid. as a matter of fact i've had to delete msgs from my inbox several times bc it has gotten so full. but now it seems like i couldnt PAY someone to write me. :nono: i really dont get it.
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Girl, same here..except for the got so many messages part.

All they do is look and stare and not speak like they do in real life.


So are you not with that guy anymore?
 
lushcoils said:
Girl, same here..except for the got so many messages part.

All they do is look and stare and not speak like they do in real life.


So are you not with that guy anymore?
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No. We had a wonderful romance. He was an amazing guy and really raised the bar for any other guy I will meet afterward. However, he moved back to Canada and we're not sure when he's coming back so we decided to just be friends and leave things open for the future. Maybe when he comes back and if I'm still single something can come of us. But as of now I have decided to just move on with my life.
 
Do you respond to every single message or flirt you get? What is the exact 'etiquette' with this? On BPM, I'd look at the profile pic, and then delete. I never responded to most of my messages or flirts. Now, if someone took the time to message me, eventho I wasn't interested i'd respond with 'thank you'... but that will open up convo that I'm not interested in.
 
runwaydream said:
i dont understand it. i used to get SOOO many msgs on okcupid. as a matter of fact i've had to delete msgs from my inbox several times bc it has gotten so full. but now it seems like i couldnt PAY someone to write me. :nono: i really dont get it.
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I'm not on OK, but can members tell when you last logged in?

I think it helps to be "fresh meat" on a site - if the same people have seen your profile for months now they may either think you are not active anymore or already taken.
 
So, are there any websites that are more catered to women dating foreign men? In AMERICA?

I'm thinking of doing Match.com....OKCupid isn't working for me. I don't like anything I see. But I guess that is to be expected on a "free" site.
 
So I started using okcupid yesterday and I got a message from this cute guy a tad bit young and too short for me but still cute. The message read " hey what's up sexi" :perplexed. First off I really dislike people spelling words wrong I understand shortcuts but sexy and sexi have the same amount of letters. And me personally I don't like to be referred to as sexy especially by someone I just met makes me feel like a piece of meat and makes me feel they are only out for the buns. Ladies am I over exaggerating?
 
CurliDiva said:
I'm not on OK, but can members tell when you last logged in?

I think it helps to be "fresh meat" on a site - if the same people have seen your profile for months now they may either think you are not active anymore or already taken.
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Yes, they can tell when you first logged in. I also think that they might have seen me several times already. So i revamped my profile and put up a new pic and changed my profile. =( still no change. maybe its time for another site.
 
metro_qt said:
I think if i wrote a blog about my online... and offline dating experiences... people would be rolling on the floor or :nono:

last week, i met up with a hopeful... not only was he an hour late for dinner cuz he got lost :perplexed but... when he showed up.. it was the CLASSIC "my pictures are from 10 years ago" bait and switch, cuz he had the face and protruding Gut of an Middle Aged MAN.-

Grrrrrrrr.
he's been steady texting me since the date, what's wrong, did i not like him, etc... and i'm trying to be nice... but also trying NOT to go on another date...
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LOL!!

People who pull that kind of stunt are so stoopid! :lol:
 
This.can't.be.life:

"Hello ther. Waz goin thru ur profile n couldnt help bt notice hw wel constructd u r wit ur english(showz u gon b intelligent) n u seem kinda interestin. Hit me back cuz I wil b delightd to knw u"


OKcupid said that he was one of my matches. What about my profile would even hint at us being matches? Oh, he is black. That's all that matters right?
Not going to lie, this stuff is pure comedy. Someone should create a thread for all the crazy messages we get.
 
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Msstarr718 said:
So I started using okcupid yesterday and I got a message from this cute guy a tad bit young and too short for me but still cute. The message read " hey what's up sexi" :perplexed. First off I really dislike people spelling words wrong I understand shortcuts but sexy and sexi have the same amount of letters. And me personally I don't like to be referred to as sexy especially by someone I just met makes me feel like a piece of meat and makes me feel they are only out for the buns. Ladies am I over exaggerating?
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Msstarr718, no I don't think you're overreacting. I feel the same way. A dude online that I didn't even speak to yet sent me a text that said "good morning sexy"... I wrote back to him "good morning! you can call me by name Brittster"... He got offended by that and told me it's not even that serious :blah: :blah:... I'm far from being uptight, but if you're saying 'hey sexy' in the beginning stages of messaging ... it's a bit of a turn off. It's different if we spoke to each other on the phone and was dating and he sent that text, but as an introduction...ummmm, nah! I much rather hear hey cutie, or another flirty, less sexual adjective.
 
Brittster said:
Msstarr718, no I don't think you're overreacting. I feel the same way. A dude online that I didn't even speak to yet sent me a text that said "good morning sexy"... I wrote back to him "good morning! you can call me by name Brittster"... He got offended by that and told me it's not even that serious :blah: :blah:... I'm far from being uptight, but if you're saying 'hey sexy' in the beginning stages of messaging ... it's a bit of a turn off. It's different if we spoke to each other on the phone and was dating and he sent that text, but as an introduction...ummmm, nah! I much rather hear hey cutie, or another flirty, less sexual adjective.
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I totally agree with everything you said.
 
I'm going to delete my okcupid account for good in a few weeks. I've had enough of the subtle racism and wack guys on there.
 
lushcoils said:
As soon as I change my profile picture to one of some random white looking chick [profile content the same], I get 10 messages and 100 views a minute. When I change it back to me .... :look:
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Oh dear. :blush::blush: Since most people date their own race, maybe there are just more White guys on the site than other races? Or are the Black guys on there like that too?
 
RossBoss said:
Oh dear. :blush::blush: Since most people date their own race, maybe there are just more White guys on the site than other races? Or are the Black guys on there like that too?
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IDK. Other black women have stated they get tons of messages from white guys on OKC. (now whether most of them are quality, attractive, dateable guys is another question.) I get some messages from black guys, but they are usually the "ay shawty u lookin gud ma" types, so I ignore them.
 
lushcoils said:
IDK. Other black women have stated they get tons of messages from white guys on OKC. (now whether most of them are quality, attractive, dateable guys is another question.) I get some messages from black guys, but they are usually the "ay shawty u lookin gud ma" types, so I ignore them.
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I don't know what to say. I never used OKC, the only site I have ever tried was POF for maybe a week and pulled my profile down, I got a lot of responses but the men were not my type and I think deep down I just didn't feel comfortable with the whole thing so no man would have been "right", I have better luck meeting men offline.
 
I dont know what it is with the white guys. :perplexed:

Why? And I alway ask them, if they normally date out or are they just browsing around cause I dont have time to be their little experimentation project.
 
MizzBrown said:
I dont know what it is with the white guys. :perplexed:

Why? And I alway ask them, if they normally date out or are they just browsing around cause I dont have time to be their little experimentation project.
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Yeah alot of white guys are sending messages. (And I luv me some white men). I'm open to WM that haven't date outside of their race before. Because the first statement out of my mouth is.....I'm saving myself for marriage. I figure that would weed out the bad ones. :lachen:

But I figure I just chat up the ones that don't meet my criteria on a friendly (online) relationship.

One guy message me and he was shorter than me (I'm 5'7) REALLY!!! :lachen:
 
MzLady78 said:
@metro_qt, that is so something I would say, I love it!

I swear, folks get real bold behind a computer screen.
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MzLady78 oh they sure do... men especially...

I had one man the other day write me and say that i was FAT.

I said ok... (cuz i can't punch a computer screen)

He then writes back and says haha... he's kidding, i'm beautiful.....:perplexed

Guy? in which world or reality did you think that opener would work with any woman?
 
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lushcoils said:
How does he know you're having a difficult time?


ETA: Nevermind. It's not working (changing my pictures). I really don't understand these guys online.
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lushcoils.... because i'm still there? lol...
Them men expect me to be snatched up a day later or something...

i guess he had written me the week before... and i didn't write back.

(i've clearly stated in my profile that if i don't write back, then i am not interested because i believe we are not a match...happy fishing, lol)
 
metro_qt said:
MzLady78 oh they sure do... men especially...

I had one man the other day write me and say that i was FAT.

I said ok... (cuz i can't punch a computer screen)

He then writes back and says haha... he's kidding, i'm beautiful.....:perplexed

Guy? in which world or reality did you think that opener would work with any woman?
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SMDH. WTH? Are you kidding me!? This is why I've been staying away from this and just come to read this thread. I don't know what to say about online dating and offline dating in general.
 
sky_blu said:
SMDH. WTH? Are you kidding me!? This is why I've been staying away from this and just come to read this thread. I don't know what to say about online dating and offline dating in general.
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Lol
Thick skin... Thick skin....
i've had worse said to me online...
but offline? I don't know what i'd do...
people are just brave online... i've realized that...

LADIES!!! please don't let these posts deter you! there are great guys out there, online and offline.

The reason we date online is to cast a wider net... that's all.. online dating is not the be all and end all...
 
mischka said:
I've been talking with this guy for the past few days and it seemed to be going pretty well. Yesterday I had a new message from him, but I wasn't able to reply right then, so I go to reply now... and he's deleted his account :lol: well, ok... :lol:
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That just happened to me! :sad: I started up a convo with a really cute Desi guy. All was going well. He messaged me yesterday and I decided to wait until today to reply and his whole profile is gone. He just told me some crazy tidbit about how Borders (the bookstore) killed his dog and he said he doesn't want to talk about it. I was lol'ing and really wanted to know if it was a serious story...guess it wasn't meant to be. :lol:

le sigh.
 
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