Bublin I would just tell her there is no reason for her to date others and if that's what she feels she needs to do cool but I choose not to be a part of that. I know why people do it but I don't have that fear in dating. If I get played its life but I don't need to "date" multiple people to know what I do/don't want. I already know plus I have other things on my plate anyway besides trying to juggle multiple people's feelings.
***Online Dating Support Thread***
- Thread starter JollyGal
- Start date
3jsmom
Moving to District 13
This is me also!!!! I don't have time for disappearing acts. I was chatting with a dude and we kind of hit it off. Even scheduled to meet up and then nothing. He texts me this morning asking me how am I doing and wanting to meet up. I just said no.
Dudes wonder why they single, smh
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Ok! Every time I attempt dating again, I'm quickly reminded of why I stopped trying. I can deal with stuff like meeting and not clicking, that's par for the course. But not even making it to the first date before ninjas start acting up? Yeah, I'm good.
outspokenwallflower
Well-Known Member
dollface0023 I REALLY truly DESPISE that move, especially when the guy makes it appear as though all is good... why pretend and be all affectionate, etc. if deep down, you know you want nothing to do with me? It hurts more to have a front put up, and wonder what happened and why things have abruptly changed, than to have a guy say directly to you: "I'm no longer interested." It's like, damn, I'm not going to inquire any further as to why you're not, I will just say "Okay, I understand!" and never think of you again.
There's so many online posts/comments/blog entries about guys doing the 'fade out', 'ghost', 'disappearing act' what have you. It's a childish, punk-arse way out and guys need to learn to stop that ish. If you're not gonna use your balls, chop 'em off and give them to someone more deserving, sheesh.
There's so many online posts/comments/blog entries about guys doing the 'fade out', 'ghost', 'disappearing act' what have you. It's a childish, punk-arse way out and guys need to learn to stop that ish. If you're not gonna use your balls, chop 'em off and give them to someone more deserving, sheesh.
I know you are being bias as I am at times but bold isn't gender specific
I had a few chicks do the same to me and my other friends male/female online it is what it is. Some people just get on there for the ego boost of doing things like that and or they just met somebody they feeling more. We know online dating hell dating period is like amazon nowadays where everybody trying to get on demand orders and keep upgrading.
dollface0023
Well-Known Member
outspokenwallflower Exactly!!! That's the only thing that irritated me about the situation. I think that move is incredibly calculated, childish and rude. Especially when you do that to someone you've known for awhile and are actively dating.
To act affectionate, make the first moves and actually act interested in someone....then turn around and for whatever reason completely disappear from the face of the earth is just plain....weird. I would have rather he admitted to not being interested or said that he met someone else than to just not even take my feelings into consideration.
Ignoring someone hurts so much more than honesty. You end up having all of these unanswered questions in your head!
I actually feel kind of relieved that he did that. Better to disappear when were first starting to get to know one another, then later on in the relationship. He just seems like a jerk to me now. I have no feelings towards this person whatsoever and wish him good luck with his search *Kanye Shrug*
dollface0023
Well-Known Member
I know you are being bias as I am at times but bold isn't gender specific
Dartagnan
I agree that the bold may be a big part of it. Some people just get off on attention. Plain and simple. For someone to actively pursue someone then back off as soon as you show them a little interest seems like the signs of someone that likes to play games.
People that pull the vanishing act typically aren’t mature enough to realize that a simple conversation respectfully ending the relationship is a MUCH kinder, gentler way to make their grand exit than simply dropping off the face of the earth. Or they DO realize it but they just don’t care. No one likes to feel like their disposable.
I don't know about ya'll, but I'm getting a little too old for this BS. Why can't I meet someone that I like, that likes me back without all this game-playing and drama?
dollface0023 I think most people are afraid to be honest because it is kind of hard to tell somebody you aren't feeling them in that manner. I also agree some people like the thrill of the chase and once they get it its over. I think we all can meet that person you speak of but sometimes we do things to trip us up or some of us truthfully like being single and drama we get from it.Dartagnan
I agree that the bold may be a big part of it. Some people just get off on attention. Plain and simple. For someone to actively pursue someone then back off as soon as you show them a little interest seems like the signs of someone that likes to play games.
People that pull the vanishing act typically aren’t mature enough to realize that a simple conversation respectfully ending the relationship is a MUCH kinder, gentler way to make their grand exit than simply dropping off the face of the earth. Or they DO realize it but they just don’t care. No one likes to feel like their disposable.
I don't know about ya'll, but I'm getting a little too old for this BS. Why can't I meet someone that I like, that likes me back without all this game-playing and drama?
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
personally i dont want someone to be honest with me. disappearing completely says loudly enough that person did not like or respect me. i really dont need to know the reason why.
there were a couple of times i went out with guys who felt the need to give me a "break up" speech after two dates. im like bro, you never touched my boob. no boobs were touched. we had dinner or whatever. stop taking yourself so seriously. i dont need to be let down gently just say you dont think its gonna work and move on. both times guys gave me stupid made up excuses instead of just saying "not really feeling it, sorry."
there were a couple of times i went out with guys who felt the need to give me a "break up" speech after two dates. im like bro, you never touched my boob. no boobs were touched. we had dinner or whatever. stop taking yourself so seriously. i dont need to be let down gently
just say you dont think its gonna work and move on. both times guys gave me stupid made up excuses instead of just saying "not really feeling it, sorry."
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dollface0023
Well-Known Member
personally i dont want someone to be honest with me. disappearing completely says loudly enough that person did not like or respect me. i really dont need to know the reason why.
there were a couple of times i went out with guys who felt the need to give me a "break up" speech after two dates. im like bro, you never touched my boob. no boobs were touched. we had dinner or whatever. stop taking yourself so seriously. i dont need to be let down gently
lol, that's true. I just honestly think that if you've been dating someone for awhile or have known that person for some time, the least they could do is talk to you about what's going on with them. I think it's just the decent thing to do.
I've read about men doing this to people they've been with for 3+ years...I even read about a guy doing this to a women who was pregnant with his twins. This mess has got me scared to even spend my precious time getting to know someone else.
With that being said, If you know someone for a short period of time and they pull that little stunt...then call it a loss. Having someone do this after knowing you for an extended period of time just makes them a sh!tty person....
Jazzmommy
Well-Known Member
I signed up for POF.. I was bored.. snow storm today. Whew.. these guys are thirsty. Wish me luck.LOL
Hmm.. I am actually having fun and talking to a bunch of guys with degrees or businesses. I have at least one coffee meet and greet on Sat and possibly one on Sunday. I will keep an open mind and stop being so darn picky about physical stuff .
shespoison
Well-Known Member
……………......
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CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i finally managed a decent looking high bun. phew... there may be hope for me to date again yet
sillygirl82
Well-Known Member
New guy just asked what I looking for in a relationship. I wasn't expecting this question so soon.
i finally managed a decent looking high bun. phew... there may be hope for me to date again yet
That's my expertise! You should've asked! Lol This is my favorite
My mama hates it 
ETA: That's my messy one. I make them more slick if that's the look I'm going for.
Attachments
you were so right.
we went on our first date Sunday night. he talked for FOUR HOURS. wouldn't let me add anything. kept looking at his watch. his phone was blowing up and he kept running to the bathroom - i believe to respond to whoever was texting him. he smelled like a whole bottle of cab driver. he talked about "when we're a couple..." and how he'd teach me to do this and teach me to do that. he never asked if i was interested in learning or even NEEDED to learn. (for example he said he'd teach me to swim- but I was a competitive swimmer) when he asked for the check he said "you have 2 choices: you can go home with me and I'll cook you some salmon or you can go home" i said I'll go home. he looked like:
so i left. the next day he texted and said "are you THAT busy!?"
i asked what he was talking about and he said "you usually text every other day" huh?? (we'd only been talking a week)
I responded "yes. I'm busy"
I thought he'd get the hint. the next day he said "So are we on for Saturday because my brother wants to buy a plane ticket" I had no idea what he was talking about. i never agreed to see him again. and what does his brother have to do with me?
then i told him it was a pleasure meeting him but I didnt think we had a connection. best wishes.
he wrote back "yeah sure. good luck"
the end.
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CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
That's my expertise! You should've asked! Lol This is my favorite
ETA: That's my messy one. I make them more slick if that's the look I'm going for.
your hair is straightened though
what?
HOW STRANGE!!!you were so right.
we went on our first date Sunday night. he talked for FOUR HOURS. wouldn't let me add anything. kept looking at his watch. his phone was blowing up and he kept running to the bathroom - i believe to respond to whoever was texting him. he smelled like a whole bottle of cab driver. he talked about "when we're a couple..." and how he'd teach me to do this and teach me to do that. he never asked if i was interested in learning or even NEEDED to learn. (for example he said he'd teach me to swim- but I was a competitive swimmer) when he asked for the check he said "you have 2 choices: you can go home with me and I'll cook you some salmon or you can go home" i said I'll go home. he looked like:
so i left. the next day he texted and said "are you THAT busy!?"
i asked what he was talking about and he said "you usually text every other day" huh?? (we'd only been talking a week)
I responded "yes. I'm busy"
I thought he'd get the hint. the next day he said "So are we on for Saturday because my brother wants to buy a plane ticket" I had no idea what he was talking about. i never agreed to see him again. and what does his brother have to do with me?
then i told him it was a pleasure meeting him but I didnt think we had a connection. best wishes.
he wrote back "yeah sure. good luck"
the end.
This wreaks of PUA!!! I'm glad you didn't fall for it.
bunnycolvin I've done this on air dried underprocessed hair let me know if you want a picture!
let me know if you want a picture!
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i bet some creative googling would lead us to a dude on a different message board somewhere, anxiously wondering where he went wrong
@bunnycolvin I've done this on air dried underprocessed hair
yes! pm me please!
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what's pua?
ms.mimi
Well-Known Member
pua=pick-up-artist as in www.pick-up-artist-forum.com:nono:
