***Online Dating Support Thread***

So far, I've made some good friends/connections on AfroRomance. I've met up with a few guys and went on multiple dates with one. For some reason, I attracted a lot of firefighters and IT guys. There were some young horndogs, a few weirdos and persistent older guys but overall, the guys were nice and respectful men.

With a free account, I could view and "flirt" with anyone and reply to flirts, I could get an idea of who had viewed me or favorited me and I could only respond to messages from paid members.

Even though it's geared toward interracial dating, I was surprised by the number of Black men who messaged me.

I decided to close that account and try local meetups. I'm new to dating and the online thing was becoming a bit much. But I would rejoin in the future.
 
*~*Afrolicious*~* said:
These n****s on these dating websites are nuts. I wenrout with this gorgeous man, but he was a freaking wack job.
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You cannot come here, type this and leave *~*Afrolicious*~*! We need the full story:drunk:

I went out on a date this week and he seems really cool. I'm up for meeting him again if he is.
Have got dates with an antique dealer and a personal trainer in the pipeline. These are all from okc
 
See, this is why I don't respond to dudes I'm not interested in. They always want an explanation.

For whatever reason I wanted to be considerate to this dude. He had a really nice profile but I'm not physically attracted to him. I told him that I loved his profile but unfortunately I'm not interested. He asked why. I told him it was an attraction issue. He said he's never had a woman say she wasn't attracted to him. I told him there's a first time for everything. :look:

ETA: Now he's talking about people having certain types that ultimately aren't good for them...
 
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kandake said:
See, this is why I don't respond to dudes I'm not interested in. They always want an explanations.

For whatever reason I wanted to be considerate to this dude. He had a really nice profile but I'm not physically attracted to him. I told him that I loved his profile but unfortunately I'm not interested. He asked why. I told him it was an attraction issue. He said he's never had a woman say she wasn't attracted to him. I told him there's a first time for everything. :look:

ETA: Now he's talking about people having certain types that ultimately aren't good for them...
Click to expand...

LOL after that first for everything (:lachen: btw) you shoulda blocked him
 
kandake said:
See, this is why I don't respond to dudes I'm not interested in. They always want an explanation.

For whatever reason I wanted to be considerate to this dude. He had a really nice profile but I'm not physically attracted to him. I told him that I loved his profile but unfortunately I'm not interested. He asked why. I told him it was an attraction issue. He said he's never had a woman say she wasn't attracted to him. I told him there's a first time for everything. :look:

ETA: Now he's talking about people having certain types that ultimately aren't good for them...
Click to expand...

LMAOOOO !!!!! You are honest! When I was online, I'd just delete all msgs from pics/profiles I had no interest in. I love your candor and honesty! Plenty of men wouldn't be able to handle this response.
 
MzLady78 said:
I did and he text me first. He's asking about meeting up for dinner.
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Haven't heard from dude since this day. I know he works and is in school, but considering I'm still trying to move on from someone who had no time for me, this isn't something I'm willing to entertain again. So that's that. I'm actually probably gonna step back from trying to date, again.:rolleyes: My life is just too much of a mess and this really isn't what I should be focusing my time and energy on. I'm lonely as hell but I'll have to find some other way to get through it.
 
Only took 3 weeks to deactivate. Too much sludge to wade through...I spoke to some fool on the phone and he hung up because his wife walked in...(I am just guessing because he hung up while he was talking and didn't call back) lol Idc what his excuse is I blocked his number and deleted my profile.

So what I am extreme!
 
I am on POF. So far I have blocked a ton of people, but there may be one or two who look decent, I will check it out for a month or so. I tend to drop online dating very quickly!
 
Had a second planned meet and greet cancelled today. First time he was called into work this weekend (works in a hospital) and same thing again this morning. I am ready to start ignoring the guy. Am I being harsh? I am getting a Catfish vibe from him.
 
deediamante said:
Had a second planned meet and greet cancelled today. First time he was called into work this weekend (works in a hospital) and same thing again this morning. I am ready to start ignoring the guy. Am I being harsh? I am getting a Catfish vibe from him.
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Throw that fish back in the water.. men can always make time if they want.
 
deediamante said:
Had a second planned meet and greet cancelled today. First time he was called into work this weekend (works in a hospital) and same thing again this morning. I am ready to start ignoring the guy. Am I being harsh? I am getting a Catfish vibe from him.
Click to expand...


Had the exact same thing happen to me several weeks back. Dude I had really good chemistry with over the phone (or so I thought). He cancelled twice on two dates he set up. The first time was due to allergies, the second, he was ghost the day before and day of our second date was planned.

He called me the day after the second date was planned like nothing happened. I asked him what happened, he said he had a lot of errands and the day got away from him. I was like err..ok and said "well see you around, I have some stuff to do". He says "don't give up on me". I chuckled and told him to have a nice night. Boy bye.
 
This happened to me. We had planned to meet on Friday. We hadnt solidified a tine or place. He calls me Friday early afternoon and said 8 pm, he was thinking downtown somewhere, was going to get his hair cut and would call me back. Never called. So I went out with someone else. I talked to him yesterday...when I asked what happened he was like, oh, my boys came into town suddenly and I lost track of time. Negro...
 
kaykari said:
This happened to me. We had planned to meet on Friday. We hadnt solidified a tine or place. He calls me Friday early afternoon and said 8 pm, he was thinking downtown somewhere, was going to get his hair cut and would call me back. Never called. So I went out with someone else. I talked to him yesterday...when I asked what happened he was like, oh, my boys came into town suddenly and I lost track of time. Negro...
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I have all kinds of profanity in my head when I hear or experience this sh*t. They were raised by animals.
 
Jazzmommy said:
Throw that fish back in the water.. men can always make time if they want.
Click to expand...

Thanks ladies for the advice. I have lost interest so I don't feel guilty for ignoring future contact. You're right. They will make time if they really want to. Never been cancelled on (date-wise) in my life so red flags came out to me when this happened. Back in the pond he goes!!
 
Before I deactivated my account I sent out a Hail Mary throw to beautiful man that messaged me. He called :D. He hates text, he is marriage minded and intelligent. Swooning far too soon.
 
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I went out with this guy for our first date on Sunday that I met on OKC. We just chatted for a couple of hours at a coffeeshop. He was really nice, definitely marriage minded, but something made me feel a little weird. So he has been texting me love poems everyday since we met..essentially along the lines of us being soulmates and that we were led to meet. Now..I'm all for romantic..but this is a bit much especially considering we've only had 2 hours of face-face contact :perplexed

Then Monday got drinks with this other dude from OKC (Greek guy..trying something new) which went very well. He was lots of fun and easy to talk to. Feeling more friend vibes with him though.

Then last night went to a comedy show with this other guy I met from OKC like 1.5 years ago but we lost contact for various reasons...I like him.

Then this other dude that I met up with in September , who was really cool but his intensity made me run, wants to hang out tomo. Dang..,this week is filled with online dudes lol.
 
why do they initiate contact and then fall off the face of the earth after a normal hi how are you exchange? Am I missing something? What are they expecting to hear beyond that in a first getting to know you exchange?


also sometimes they never follow up on their 'likes' and initial messages. i write back and then nothing. what's up w/that?
 
sunnydaze said:
Had the exact same thing happen to me several weeks back. Dude I had really good chemistry with over the phone (or so I thought). He cancelled twice on two dates he set up. The first time was due to allergies, the second, he was ghost the day before and day of our second date was planned.

He called me the day after the second date was planned like nothing happened. I asked him what happened, he said he had a lot of errands and the day got away from him. I was like err..ok and said "well see you around, I have some stuff to do". He says "don't give up on me". I chuckled and told him to have a nice night. Boy bye.
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what the? why are they even trying to date then? what is it that they want!?
 
I just gave one of the disappearing acts a piece of my mind and reminded him of the golden rule I'm sure it didn't register with him but it sure made ME FEEL GOOD and not so much like a victim. :)
 
So let me know if I was wrong because I don't feel guilty one bit.

Planned a meetup Wednesday for this afternoon (Saturday) with this guy I briefly chatted with on POF. No further communication since then. In my mind, there was no communication or a confirmation convo the day before or even the morning of, I assumed it was a no go and continued on with my day. Then about 15 min prior to our scheduled meetup, he sends a txt sayings he's running late. I then txt him saying "oh didn't think we are still meeting since there was confirmation." He responses with comments about playing games and used the words p**sy and sh*t. First time a man (if we are going to refer to him as one) used those words to me. I'd like to think I dodged a bullet. I sent a msg "sounds like a plan. Good luck in your search" then got the block.
 
Bublin said:
They are attention whores and get a sick kick out of their behaviour. What is the golden rule?
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The golden rule is to treat others the way you would like to be treated. But I actually told him that he should treat others the way he would want his mother treated. He responded and said that he stated seriously seeing someone right after we met and that he didn't want to lead me on and that I'm everything he ever wanted but that the timing was bad. I am so insulted. He should have told me sooner. So basically he met me and that made him decide that he should commit to her? That makes me feel like crap. And then the whole "you're everything" fake flattery. If I was everything g he wouldn't have started seeing her more seriously. :( Another guy I was texting with dropped off the face of the earth after we had a nice chat and he was texting his butt off for over an hour. Then poof gone. Ladies I have officially retired. I hope 10 cats are in the mail for me.
 
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deediamante said:
So let me know if I was wrong because I don't feel guilty one bit. Planned a meetup Wednesday for this afternoon (Saturday) with this guy I briefly chatted with on POF. No further communication since then. In my mind, there was no communication or a confirmation convo the day before or even the morning of, I assumed it was a no go and continued on with my day. Then about 15 min prior to our scheduled meetup, he sends a txt sayings he's running late. I then txt him saying "oh didn't think we are still meeting since there was confirmation." He responses with comments about playing games and used the words p**sy and sh*t. First time a man (if we are going to refer to him as one) used those words to me. I'd like to think I dodged a bullet. I sent a msg "sounds like a plan. Good luck in your search" then got the block.
Click to expand...

You dodged a bullet a bomb and a knife. Anger issues and seems to hate women.
 
Some fool on OkCupid asked me if I had a maintenance man. I had to look that up on Urban Dictionary.

Dude, we just started talking today and you're already with the sex questions. I can already tell he isn't used to being around ladies.
 
i started chatting with a guy on okc last nightand it was fun. he pushed me to give him my number and then he called today.

long story short, he told me:
-he has been unemployed for the last year
-is divorced w/a 7 year old, and is NOT current on his child support payments
-is 'short'
-his ex wife called the police on him, claimed he hit her, he claims she had no visible signs of injury, but he was arrested and had to appear in domestic violence court and got a restraining order against him, which has expired but is still on his record. and yet "the judge dismissed the case" (clearly not if an op was entered)
-same ex wife goes crazy when he gets a girlfriend and then uses the child as a pawn
-he doesnt know if he wants a girlfriend or a puppy.

he thought he'd win points by telling me this, and then asked if I would meet him TODAY! (which is too quick for me even if he hadn't told me all these things)

I blocked him as soon as I could get him off the phone.
 
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